Question for the seasoned and veteran cds

[Cantcatchabreak]

So as of late I haven't been getting much time to myself which usually means no full dressing. I'm ok with that but it sucks sometimes but I feel sort of alone. I have tried finding other cds near me to no avail. I've tried a few apps and websites but still no luck So my question is : Do you have any CD friends that are your go to person? (Not for sex or in any way sexual at all)Or do you prefer to dress alone? Should I keep looking or just give it up? I'd like to think if I had another like minded person close to me I could actually have something to conversate with and maybe even have something to look forward to.

[michelleddg]

It is so not easy. My first rule is you have to be boy pals as well as gal pals. Conversations about heels and makeup dry up quickly.

So, how do you meet up with compatible others? It's a slow, deliberate process with lots of starts and stops. For me, this web site and Facebook have been my go to's.

Good luck, have fun!

Hugs, Michelle

[mykell]

so its a double edge sword....some i have met here have passed on, i never knew theyre real names....phones were not in sevice anymore....texts were not answered anymore, were so secretive even when we do make those connections you seek it may not be all that you are loooking for.

best of luck finding someone....even if its a limited friendship it was priceless when you had someone to talk with....

[Ashlee]

I met a few people via Myspace or through the makeover services I went to then Facebook now. I've met in guy mode a fellow CD when I used to go to his side of the state and did lunch. We showed each other pics of ourselves not posted to Facebook or wherever, We're on a few of the same websites today and still in touch.

[bridget thronton]

Life became better for me once my family knew I dressed - after that when I was missing wearing a dress I simply wore one (I am blessed with a wonderful wife and adult children). I have not looked too hard for a support group but I am thinking about it.

[char GG]

If you have a local Pride center, often they have meetings specifically for CDers. That's where my hubby found CD friends.

[Brenda Freeman]

I have some wonderful CD friends I met originally attending a TG event. Before I new no one in Portland was new to all this. I now meet a few friends once a month or so for dinner. I met them attending Esprit a Tgirl event in Port Angeles, WA, in 2005. Before that a was alone and very in the closet. I feel so lucky this happened. If there are events near you it may be an opportunity to find girls in your area as well as gain confidence. I have learned so much sharing our stories and have found I am far far from alone as a tgirl.

[nvlady]

There is a meeting people section on this forum.

[Cheryl T]

Seasoned and Verteran huh?
Never been called that, but I suppose it applies. LOL.

I spent many, many years alone with my dressing. I was too afraid to open up to anyone and stayed in that dark, lonely closet. Finally I had to leave and took the chance. I told my wife and discovered she was accepting. We eventually joined a support group where we met many wonderful people. That satisfied my need for a time until we retired. We are now too far to participate with them and I've been unable to find any others in my area. Thankfully my wife is always there.
I dress whenever I desire, which is most every day. Still I long for the companionship of others who share my feelings. While dressing alone isn't the best option, it beats the alternative ... not dressing.

[Terrihoney]

Most friends from my early days of venturing out have moved away or schedules conflict. There is one group that regularly gets together at a public bar. I've found that just a few ladies can pass fairly well, a big group makes our presence noticeable. I'd rather be assumed a female than be accepted as a CD. For many years, I've done my weekly grocery shopping at about the same time. Cashiers and stock people always have time for some chit-chat. At a local restaurant bar, I've befriended the barmaid. Half my age, she says I'm the most interesting woman she's met.

The times I have for dressing feminine are to experience life as a woman. Not to talk about why I like to do it.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, I am rather a solitary person by nature. I have friends, of course, but they are not part of any aspect of my day to day life in any manner.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm a member of a Meetup group of local T Girls, which includes all the variety: CDs. TGs pre-op TS, post-op TSs and even some GGs. Men are discouraged unless they are a CD who can't dress. We've had as many as 100 girls at an event, but now it's usually 30 to 40. Many have reached the end of the proverbial train and gotten off.

I've also been to Keystone about 10 times.

I've had some really good friends and some of them are still around, but it's always great going out with the girls. If you're in the DC area on a weekend night, I might be able to round up a few girls to meet with us in a safe place.

I've met about half of my friends (here) in person. I've developed a safety protocol to keep myself safe when meeting new girls. The main criteria is to meet first in a public place with other people around and watch my drink to avoid drugs and other intoxicants.

[TheHiddenMe]

I belong to a local group and attend the meetings on a frequent basis (I often have conflicts) but haven't made any friends that I go out with.

However, I have made a couple of GG friends and I get together with one occasionally and the other a semi-regular basis. You never know what might happen if you are open to taking a chance.

[mbmeen12]

Be patient, I've met others via Fet,com. Go to local LGBT clubs...but be safe too.

[GretchenM]

I rarely dress fully anymore. Mostly because I have settled into a mild NB form of dressing which I do to some extent everyday. But fully dressing has been very private for me for a large number of reasons. The ease of finding someone local that you can share with may vary with wear you live. Here in Denver it would be easy because Denver is so accepting but elsewhere that is not the case. Some good suggestions here but I suspect if you are looking in the general population it will be difficult. It seems to me that one would have to narrow the search to LGBTQ+ groups and social venues. The fact is that with all the vitriol toward anything that leans in the trans direction lots of people are being less open because of the hazard.

I came face to face with one of the haters in a Home Depot the other day. He was critical of the lavender T-shirt I was wearing when I was going into the rest room. He said, "This is for boys. You are going in the wrong one." I smiled at him and went in anyway and when I came out he was gone. I viewed it as he was baiting me so he could make some nasty prejudicial comments on the basis of wearing a feminine colored T-shirt. I love lavender and the shirt did come from Woman Within. But feminine colors are showing up more and more in the men's department at some stores.

Keep looking and narrow you search venue. But be careful.

[ellbee]

Why does it have to be another CD'er?


These days? Everyone I interact/hang out with socially is *not* any sort of LGBT person.

(Though I think one older guy might potentially be closeted gay/bi? )


And keep in mind? I'm in guy-mode -- wearing nothing but women's clothing.

They pretty much only know me like this.


Some inquire about it. Some don't.


And yes, I can tell they view & treat me differently because of it.

No, not in a bad way or anything. It's just that there's some sort of shift in their perception of me, is all -- which is reflected in how they relate to me.

I don't mind it. The GG's, as a whole, are awesome. And I noticed I've been getting more comfortable being around certain men, while I'm presenting like that.

(As an aside, it is actually a pretty cool dynamic when you're able to step up & fulfill the obviously feminine role, in relation to someone who does the whole masculine thing quite naturally. Then again, it's probably not for everyone, either. )



Anyway, have you ever been around other CD'ers or "what-have-you's" before?

Honestly, it can be a bit jarring in a way... At least at first, for some?



I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I suppose certain things that may seem like would be a great friendship match, because you both have that in common?

Well, you may actually find it a bit shallow & lacking, to one's dismay... YMMV, of course.

[alwayshave]

Cantcatchabreak, I have to assume there is some sort of group or venue in New Orleans for CDs. If nothing else, head to a LQBTQ+ bar in the city.

[ShawnaL]

Hi! Have you looked for groups on Meetup? It seems that groups are being formed for any number of interests and social interactions. If you don't see one that meets your specific needs and interests, you can form and tailor your own. I've found a lot of satisfaction in joining women's social groups (not specific to CD, LGBTQ, etc.) and interacting with them simply as another woman who enjoys being social (book club, wine tastings, etc.). I wish you the best in your search!

[Ressie]

I was a member here for 4 years before connecting with others. Then, one day someone invited me to a TG event where I met a few other members of this forum along with other crossdressers. 11 years later, I have many CD acquaintances and a few that I consider pretty close friends. We have bi-monthly meetings at a local pride center (50 miles from my home), and some of us usually go out to a bar afterwards. So, it may take time but keep looking.

It might help if you're more specific regarding where you live. The closest bigger town or major city?

[Stephanie47]

Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" and entered our "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" life she told me it was alright with her if I found a support group. I found a telephone number in the classified ads of a Seattle newspaper. I called and basically was treated discourteously and hung up on. I am glad they were not on the suicide hot line. So, one sort of crawls into a hole and becomes a loner. With the passage of time another aspect of meeting and greetings comes into play; age. It is hard enough to break the ice with younger people, including family and neighbors when you're an elder. You become the old couple down the street who is acknowledged on Veteran's Day, maybe. I doubt I would get an invitation to a neighborhood BBQ if I wore a sundress. So, it has become a life of self-imposed isolation. Is it enough to have wearing a dress as the common theme of a friendship? I meet with a group of combat veterans every week. Probably to everyone's surprise we never talk about our common background which is understood by all. Maybe I am rambling on too much. I think I made my point.

[rachelatshop]

Hello Stephanie, I'm Rach short for rachel, and I to am one of the old timers, not cute and pretty any longer. Although I still have a reasonable figure. My wife and I have moved beyond the DADT stage to one where she knows and is mostly comfortable with my crossdressing but is not ready to be involved. Sometimes I wish there were some support groups near by but this is rural Maine and I think the nearest one is probably 2hr drive. I'm out to a number of friends online, but I don't know how it would be to meet in real life. I have a full beard that both my wife and I feel that looks good on my male half, and it would not be easy to shave that off for a monthly meeting, To hide my beard when I fully dress (I can't stand seeing Rachel with a beard, girls don't have beards) I wear a full face mask, would fellow cross dressers accept that???

[Karren H]

I have met a few local girls to talk, have lunch and dress up but I really did not feel the need. I found them on Facebook and on the old Yahoo360. Though it was fun each time. I always considered this a solo hobby and any need to talk about it with others was satisfied here on CD. COM. So if you must, keep searching but be sure that when you do find someone and do meet that both of your expectations are aligned. Not everyone is always transparent as to their motives. Just saying.

[Leslie Mary S]

I am a Loner up here in North Alabama. To meet my out and about social needs, I go over to the Sigma Epsilon monthly Group in the NE area of Atlanta (143 miles), GA. I have also done two Sigma Epsilon Cruises but they, the cruises, are, to me,a pit pricey. I know there is a group in Houston TX, but have never attended. They used to have have a Great wig shop in the Houston area.
I have Tried the TN T-girls but I do not have a reason to head up there any more. It is just 90 miles north.
In September 3rd 0 10th. I am going on a cruise out of New Orleans.