Kimberley's bathroom posts are the cause for this post. Let's talk about safe places to go. "Anywhere and everywhere" is not a good answer because it really doesn't help. I know some of you do, but I've been doing this for as long as just about anybody and I'm not even in the anywhere and every where category. Kimberley is talking about quitting over one incident in one bar. Maybe we can have some helpful input.
Basically for me, I try to stay away from men as much as possible. My very favorite places have always been salons, especially the hair salon. Now that I've cut my hair (a long time ago now) I can't do that one anymore, but I still love the nails salon. I always get my brows done in male mode (or at least semi), but it still kind of counts for me. Same for facials.
The mall is kind of the default cd venue. Always good. If you're new to eating out in female mode, the food court is a pretty good first step, then progressing to a mall-based restaurant. The next step from there is probably the movie theater.
In my earliest days of going out of town to do my girl thing, I'd stay at motels that had a door that basically opened up to where my vehicle was parked. Worked well, except for one time when a construction crew was in the room(s) next to me and they decided to sit on their tailgates and drink beer. This motel also had a central hallway that was mostly used by housekeeping, but it provided me a way around them. Once I graduated to hotels, coming and going from the hotel, working up the courage to step into the elevator, going through the lobby and maybe the gift shop kind of prepared me for going out. Kind of like jumping into cold water. After you're in there it's not so bad. Hotel restaurants have always been good venues for me, and if I am feeling particularly brave/good, the hotel bar (not the same as a stand-alone bar to me). When the mood strikes me and it "looks right", the hotel pool is good. You don't have to wear a bathing suit. I've been in shorts and a t-shirt. Mostly, though, I've worn a bathing suit and a cover-up. I happen to LOVE cover ups! That's a whole 'nuther topic.
In my early days I was in a million convenience stores. I've always been treated well at Walmart and Target. I've typically been treated well at chain restaurants, too. Pretty vanilla stuff for me.
The places I don't go would be a long list. Start with bars. I'm just not a bar person. I'll qualify that a bit by saying if it's an entertainment venue that has a bar (not sure when you quit calling one a bar and start calling it an entertainment venue) I've done quite a bit of that. Depends on a lot of things. I don't do hardware stores or auto parts stores.
I trust my feelings or vibes a lot. Without ever having a really bad experience there, I more or less avoid the entire state of Texas, and I know we have members who live openly there. I've made plenty of exceptions, but always with extra scrutiny. OKC is totally off my list because of one incident, yet Diane P and Emily love it. I'm guilty if condemning the whole southeast U.S. because of reputation more so than anything specific. I've spent a lot of time en femme in Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, and South Carolina and loved most every minute of it. I've traveled very little to the north and northeast, but west (southern California, Arizona, Colorado) as well as Missouri, Kansas, and Oklahoma I don't find to be a whole lot different than the southern states. Before anybody jumps on me, I'm aware of the political differences and the overall perceived tolerance, but the places I would go and not go are about the same wherever I go. Work has allowed me to travel quite a lot within the places I mentioned and the similarity (to me) is striking.
I think we're prone to thinking the grass is greener somewhere else. It'd be easy for Kimberly and others to think they're stuck in some hell hole of intolerant people, when my experience is that there is tolerance and intolerance everywhere. You're better off knowing which is which in your own backyard.