I made another trip from Northern Virginia down to SC yesterday to visit my mother, who is now in a nursing home. My wife noticed me taking one of my purses as I packed the car and made a comment that they'd shoot me if I carried it in SC. I didn't mention that I'd only carry a feminine looking purse while dressed as a woman, and even though she knows I dress, I don't believe she's caught on yet that I am fine traveling en femme. (Yes, I know we should talk about it, but she is extremely risk-averse -- and I am pretty risk-averse myself).
Lunch was at a taco place in a Richmond suburb. No one said nothin'. The young woman who took my order was also named Nancy, and that made me happy. There were various other stops for coffee and bathroom breaks, of course.
When I make solo trips to/from my Mom's, I like to stop and visit places my wife has no interest in -- frequently Civil War battlefields. My objective on this trip was a museum at a canal in NC. I got there an hour before closing time, and there was only one car in the parking lot. In my calculus, that meant that I was more likely to be noticed, but I hiked up my skort and forged ahead. Sure enough, the docent was a talker, and she wanted to know my name and where i was from for their lightly used guest register. I told her. Well, she comes up to the town next to mine all the time. And we talked and talked -- and my voice held. I use the bottom part of my falsetto cords and try to put more inflection into my words, but I have never, ever managed to hold it together for a conversation like that. In the end, I am convinced that she believed I was a cisgender woman. What a boost to my self-confidence.
Dinner was in Fayetteville, home of Fort Bragg. I wanted a sit-down dinner, and I Googled "LGBTQ-friendly restaurants". I selected one downtown that my wife and I had visited for lunch a few years ago. In that block, there were quite a few shops and restaurants flying rainbow flags, and there was a small group of people across the street waving signs referencing some verse(s) in the Psalms. They waved as I drove by, and I ignored them; however, I resolved that dammit, I was going to eat in a restaurant with a rainbow flag -- on the patio so they could see that I, an apparently cisgender woman wth gray hair, was comfortable mingling with the LGBTQ crowd. But the restaurant was so busy that the only place I could get a seat was indoors at the bar. The bartender may have made me, but neither of us cared. I enjoyed myself immensely -- and I only had one beer with my meal.
I'm staying alone in my mother's house all week, but I don't really have an opportunity to dress up, because I'm not out to my siblings, and we have security cameras outside. But that's OK, I will enjoy my trip home.
For those wondering about my mom, I visited her today, and about all I can say is that dementia sucks. Her situation is about the best it can be at present, but nearly everything about her is gone. The only blessing is that she no longer realizes it is happening.
