I'm starting a new job in 2 weeks, and within the last year I've been out as GenderFluid. How would be the best way to bring up to the new employer that I am gender fluid and there may be days where I feel like I want to dress based on my gender identity of the day??
OK, so a few details: it's a small high tech manufacturing job with about 20 employees in Massachusetts.. The extent of my femm attire is usually just womens jeans and a nice top or t-shirt.
What do you think I should do??
If it were me, I would dress one way or the other at work consistently. That way, things don't get unnecessarily complicated.
I suppose it also depends on how much you like the job.
In the end, only you can decide what makes you most comfortable in your employment.
Emily
I don't think there is any way we could answer that question. I really depends on so many factors we don't have enough information about. Assuming you interviewed in person, dressing as the gender you presented then is probably as safe bet. But I'm guessing that wasn't femme or you wouldn't be asking this question. You might first try to find out if the employer's opinion is open to hiring LGBTQ+ people before deciding if you want to come out to them. You might also want to first get to know the people you are working with. But I would think that womens jeans and t-shirt are pretty tame and wouldn't be a big deal.
Androgynous. Which sounds like how u already dress!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Talk to the head person. Get a reading of the reaction. Are they kind of liberal? You could be fine. Tell the you have a Klinger from MASH streak in you.
I'd confirm female, that way it doesnt matter what you wear because women wear mens clothing no questions asked.
I work in Energy and the attire you just described is my everyday attire, ok, tops are non printed plain women’s t shirts or non adorned women button up shirts.
Just tell them from day one, I am sure that as far as you so not break any rules of the company they will only care about yor work.
It seems that rather than start out a new job asking about what you can and can't wear, first get a feel for what the job entails, what other people are wearing, and worry about your wardrobe after you have a little time to prove yourself to your new employer.
Think I would start the week off with something unisex and each day fem it up more. By Friday you could go over the top fem wise! Give them the whole range of potential looks so they know what to expect.
Weren't you asked how you identify on the application form?
I am job hunting at the moment and today I had my first gender question where there were only 2 answers!!
I would suggest that you dress as androgynous as possible while you figure out the office culture. Fitted pants and tops, stuff like that. Someone suggested that you not jump between presenting fem and male and I would reinforce that because someone higher up might deem that to be a distraction and limit your ability to grow in that job in ways that you can't even imagine.
For me that seems the most pragmatic approach. Get to know those you're working with and gain some idea of how they're likely to react. Then if you feel it's something that's not likely to cause any issues talk to the boss or whoever is in charge of HR. See how they respond. make your decision based upon those factors.Originally Posted by char GG
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
I sometimes wear women?s jeans to work, but typically a company t shirt . Never an issue at my workplace in Massachusetts , but I haven?t come out as anything, either. As long as your clothing is conforming to the shop . None of the women on our shop floor wear yoga pants or skimpy tops and all shoes have to be steel toe .From what I understand, most places have issues with the bathrooms, not necessarily the clothes. BTW, welcome from this Mass girl
Last edited by JocelynJames; 06-28-2023 at 12:38 PM.
If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss
About 4 years ago, after being out of work for 8 months (after being laid off), I decided to apply for a job at Lane Bryant (a women's plus sized clothing store). They had and M/F choice for birth and an M/F choice for now. My goal was to work as a woman so I answered as born M, currently F. I got an interview and I went full on as Steffi, in a classy dress that I would have worn for work.
The woman who interview me knew the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and still offered Steffi the job. However, my dreams crashed and burned when I asked my wife if I could accept the job as Steffi. I don't remember her answer verbatim, but it was something like, "Fine, as long as you can afford a divorce lawyer on that salary."
This doesn't really help you, because boy you did the interview. But, for anyone else, think about if your alter ego could interview for a job and get it.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
How did you dress for your in person interview for the job? I'd go with that and then take the time to talk to people you'll be working with to get their opinions and reactions. You don't want to dod something that may get you fired shortly after being hired.
The Pink Fog will be with you, always!
I am going to agree with Diane.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
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