I have never used the men's room while out and about.
It's unusual but I have seen women use the men's room, if the queue for the women's room is far too long.
This has tended to happen when a group of women decide they just cant wait any longer.
I have never used the men's room while out and about.
It's unusual but I have seen women use the men's room, if the queue for the women's room is far too long.
This has tended to happen when a group of women decide they just cant wait any longer.
For the most part it comes down to a personal safety issue, but we all (and cis women of different cultures) perceive that safety differently. The venue, time, and location of the world matters. Going into the men?s room at a traditional honky-tonk bar dressed to the nines, on a Saturday night, is different that going into Department Store men?s room during the week at 11am. Everyone needs to feel safe. I have used the ladies room many times out, but I do keep this in mind at all times.
One of the advantages of the ladies room is more stalls, and usually a better chance of there being a clean stall.
I know that there were some replies of ?no one cares?, but depending on the laws and culture of the area, it could be problematic. Even where I live in the south US, I feel okay in 99% of the situations, but my point is that we should be aware of the situation.
Ladies room only for me never even considered using the mens room.
Many of the states in the US have recently enacted laws that basically say, "You must use the bathroom of the sex denoted on your (unaltered) birth certificate." The purported reason is to protect women.
I would just like to see what happens when a FAB transgender man on Testosterone uses the ladies bathroom, looking very much like a man.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
I use the ladies room when out presenting femme about 99.9% of the time. There have been exceptions over the years, but there were special circumstances involved in those. A few months ago, just before leaving a restaurant that I and some friends were having lunch at, I went to the ladies room and found that the cubicle locks on both of the only two stalls in there were broken and the doors would not stay closed unless you held them closed. I decided I didn't need the facilities that bad and left. I thought about going to the mens room, but was so annoyed with the restaurant that I didn't and just held it in until I could go somewhere else. I and my friends did complain to the management of the restaurant before leaving. A month later we were back again at the same restaurant and the door locks had been fixed.
Phoebe
Well I am fortunate to live in Portland Oregon, a relatively/generally accepting environment for all people. Almost all shops, restaurants, bars, and malls have either unisex bathrooms and or family restrooms. If there was no choice except womens or mens I would use the mens room and use a toilet stall (this happens a lot here, women's restrooms don't have enough stalls, so women use the men's restroom stalls. They just wait in the men's line). In reading these types of threads I am reminded how much easier we (LGBTQIA+ which here includes crossdressers) have it. I have to pause and reflect just how lucky I/we are here. Go Portland, Oregon!
To my knowledge, I have yet to witness a crossdresser in a bathroom for men other than myself. But I have a lot of clothing that, with a casual glance, one would be hard pressed to identify as exclusively for women.
To comment on the previous post without quoting, I believe crossdressers are not required to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
I've had to use a men's room a couple of times dressed as a woman. Both times I felt awkward and exposed. I'll take my chances in the ladies room.
But, hopefully, good design going forward will mitigate the problem, just as lowering the curbs to street level for handicap access has helped everybody else.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
When I used to go to movies guess where young girls with single dads would go? The men's room with the supervision of dad.
I've also been in the women's room, dressed as a guy, to help my wife in a wheelchair. In Connecticut.
The Taylor Swift stadium concerts are overwhelmingly attended by women. Here's the story.
https://slate.com/culture/2023/06/ta...bathrooms.html
Not sure I would say many states. More like several states. Plus, there are several states where crossdressing is already prohibited by archaic laws. Some random Karen would have to go through the effort of calling the police on you, which while possible seems highly unlikely.Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi
It is best to stay out of the ladies room especially in the Southern States because as others here have said, all it takes is one Karen to ruin your life. Also if there is a child in the ladies room it is much much worse!! You can be accused of being a child pervert and will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of your life. It comes down to some Karen's word against your word and who do you think that they will believe?
Stay safe by staying out of the ladies rooms. Always seek you and use gender neutral rest rooms like at Starbucks.
You will become stronger in the ways of the Pink Fog. May the Pink Fog guide you and be with you now and forever.
When it comes to a restroom with a single toilet and a locking door, I would have no compunction about disregarding the sign on the door. My wife has used single-occupant men's rooms, and we thought nothing about it. There's an age-old problem that restrooms are under-designed and do not take into account the fact that women need a little more time for a simple restroom visit, and single-person men's rooms are fair game. Any man who objects to a person presenting as female using a single-person men's room is a heel.
On the other hand, I remember a time when, dressed as a man, my bladder was bursting and the only thing available was a single-use women's room. I used it, and I made darned sure that I left it as clean as if a woman had been there. I was very relieved that no one saw me come out.
I will not use a multi-person men's room while dressed as a woman. The idea feels degrading, but more than that, the female me entering or leaving a men's room is going to call attention to me that I would not receive going into a women's restroom. That puts a target on my back for every trans-phobe who happens to be around. They may not assault me in the restroom, but they might get me on my way to my car. I'll take my chances with the potty police.
Nancy
"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving
Jamie, with all respect, you are just as likely to end up on a sex offender's list by being crossdressed in a men's room, perceived to be preying upon little boys. The added "benefit" in using a men's room is you are also considerably more likely (than a woman's room) to get the &*(#@&$ kicked out of you.
When I used to fully dress and go out I would use the men's room.
Just another man in a dress
I live in Vermont and things are a little different around here. Bathrooms are non-gender specific. The sign on the door usually says "Whatever! Just wash your hands." It takes a while for the tourists to figure it out. For us more gender-fluid folks it certainly relieves the pressure of being in the "wrong" bathroom. When I leave the state, I would not even consider using a men's room dressed. I'll seek out a unisex or family friendly bathroom. I have yet to venture into a ladies room.
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.
Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!
That is good to know about visiting Vermont. I haven't been there in a decade. Most of my recent trips out of state have been to Massachusetts and Rhode Island, though I did get to see what NYC looks like at sunrise when most drivers were still asleep!
When out dressed as Claire I use either a uni-sex or the women?s bathrooms. Like several have said ... go in, close the stall door, do my thing (sitting down of course), wash my hands, check my hair and leave. I have never had a hassle or even had anyone say anything to me. I have used women's restrooms at busy airports (O'Hare in Chicago) and a couple busy casinos, restaurants and shopping malls. No problem. Even had to stand in line once or twice.
On the other hand, in guy mode I have no issue using the single occupancy bathroom marked "Women" if the men's facility is in use. When you gotta go, you gotta go!!
The problem with using the ladies room is coming out after doing your business. There may be a big redneck transphobe waiting at the door for his girlfriend to come out. When he sees you come out, that is when the trouble starts. Not a good situation.
I really don't understand the need for a mens or womens distinction on a bathroom when they are only single occupancy.
All single occupancy restrooms should be uni-sex.
Just a little over a week ago I was at an event where they had one of those portable trailers with 4 single occupancy bathrooms.
There were 3 for women and 1 for men. There was a line for the 3 women's units, and no line for the men's
It seemed silly to me that none of the women were using the men's room when no one else was using it.
Why does this sound like a cringey low-budget horror film?!?
Anyway, back in the day, when I used to present fully en-femme & go out clubbing / bar-hopping with my friends to LGBT *and* "vanilla" venues, alike? Well, I've used both the men's & the women's room in quite a few places, ha!
I've personally never had an issue. Then again, I almost hate to say it, but Monica (post #19) has a very valid point. Just reality, really. In my case, it worked out well, regardless what I did. Unfortunately for others, they may not always be so lucky?
One time in a vanilla bar, some guy accidentally almost walked in on me when I was using the 1-person yet unlockable men's room. He was absolutely shocked when he saw me in there washing my hands... I even saw him double-check the "MEN" sign on the door, LOL! When I was finished & exited, he was outside waiting. He was like, "Oh, sorry... This is the men's room. The women's room is around the corner," kinda pointing that way. I just smiled & kept walking. He was very nice/polite about it, didn't seem drunk or anything, just probably more concerned of what could potentially happen in there to a... Well, GG?Anyway, my friends saw what had occurred, and they were like, what did he say to you? Long story short, they all agreed -- and actually convinced me -- that because of the way I looked that night (i.e., pretty legit & hot)? I needed to be using the *women's* room the rest of the night. And so, I did!
(You know, the one that was in full view of the bartenders & staff.
)
Like I said, I've never had any problems in any of the women's -- and this was years ago. Just know the rules, and conduct yourself accordingly.
As for using the men's? It was always kinda funny when I did. Always used a stall, though (standing up, didn't care, LOL)... Except one time, with friends at a large & very packed gay *male* club/bar, obviously Mother Nature eventually calls. So, I waited in a very packed line to the huge men's room, by myself, totally en-femme, amongst nobody but a TON of testosterone-fueled gay male strangers -- who were all presenting as MEN! Finally got in, walked up to an available urinal, lifted my dress enough, and did my thing, LOL! (Yeah, no *way* was I going to go in a stall *there*!
But yeah, whatever. Always all good here. Of course, YMMV.
And these days, presenting as a MIAD, of sorts? I'll use the men's room every time, thanks.
Since I don't bother to present as a woman, I've not often used the ladies' room. However, my SO and previous lady friends and wife have all assured me that the ladies' room can be equally foul!
I have had occasion to enter the disabled room on many occasions, as a care-giver, and these, too, can be less than sweet-smelling, and scrupulously clean.
Jaimie, I think your fears are misplaced.
Last edited by char GG; 07-13-2023 at 08:09 PM. Reason: The post you quoted was deleted because it breaks the rules
Mod note:
I will remind anyone whose posts have been modified or deleted to read the rules. Search all of them, as many need a refresher. You will find your answers there as to why the modification/deletion.
Any further crude remarks will be removed or the thread will have to be deleted. Don't want to have to continue to babysit this thread.
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php
Last edited by char GG; 07-13-2023 at 08:18 PM.
I never had any problems using ladies room when dressed as a woman, even it is obvious I'm a crosssdresser. Of course every time women notice me as something unusual and worth attention, but they never said anything bad of gave me the feeling that I don't "belong there". But I still try not to use a public bathroom when crossdressed, if possible. I don't want to go to the men's room dressed as a woman, especially because I usually go out crossdressed at night.
I can only remember one time. I was drinking coffee at the Starbucks next to the Ferry building in San Francisco. There was quite a long line to the ladies restroom. After waiting patiently to get in I was by the men's restroom door. I knew no one was in there, went in, and was followed by several others. No negativity, just relief.
Another thought, prompted by my experience of using a unisex toilet today at my local medical centre ...
I had to use a code to get through the door.
Sensible suggestion?
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