CD's in the men's room

[CDMargret]

Hello everyone,

I have been following Kimberly's posting of troubles in a local bar using the ladies room. Most cis women would rather us to not be in there. What I was hoping to read was other's experiences in the men's room while dressed. Now I was visiting an LGTBQ friendly bar and when I need to take care of business without thinking I used the men's room. Never occurred to me I am in the wrong stall so to say. There is a boy and girl and both are one room facilities with locking doors.

My question is have other's en'femme used the men's room and did they encounter negativity?

[Patience]

Yes and no.

I mean, yes, I have used a men's room en femme (I mean, I must have done. Using the restroom is not the part of the outing I tend to remember. I guess in our case a lack of recollection is a good sign) but have never been hassled.

However, I must admit that I organize my outings in such a way that I don't really need the restroom until I get back home - I make sure my stomach and bowels are as empty as possible when I go out.

In situations when I know I will need the restroom, I tend to favor or remember locations that have gender neutral facilities. I have only really been hassled about using the restroom once, when I was walking enfemme thru an airport to my gate. I waited and used the restroom on the plane.

Not an ideal solution but it's worked for me.

[Karren H]

I have never used the mens restroom when out enfemme. Ok maybe once in a park but that was more a photo op than a necessity.

[Jillian Faith]

When out enfemme I have never used the men's room and have always opted for the ladies room. I've never had a negative experience using the ladies room. I go out during the day and never busy crowded venues so I go in, select a stall, sit down do my business, put my self back together, wash my hands, check my hair and makeup in the mirror and leave.

[Sandi Beech]

I have used mens and womens restrooms plenty of times. No one has ever said anything to me whether LGBT or regular club. Nothing negative anyhow. I mean what are they going to do, run out and say there is a man in the men?s room. Haha. It is not a big deal.

Of course I never use a urinal. Always a stall.

Sandi

[Sara Marshall]

I am along with the same outlook as Sandi. I have been to fairly large music festivals, concerts, Casinos and clubs dressed and I usually use the men?s room. Now I will say all of these venues are usually very friendly atmospheres where everyone accepts everything. Most of the time guys just give me a compliment but nothing out of the way. Sometimes I do go in the women?s, but it?s because the girls drag me into there to redo my makeup lol. I have never had any negativity by using the men?s room but I also try not to put myself in places where I would, but of course you never know.

[Natalie5004]

I am seeing more and more Unisex bathrooms these days. It is strange to come out of a stall and see women washing hands and checking makeup. When dressed I use the women's room.

[Aunt Kelly]

While doing so in a gay bar will likely cause nary a raised eyebrow, do not use the men's room in any kind of vanilla venue while en femme.

[docrobbysherry]

U must remember there r huge differences in men's and ladies rest rooms.

If u use the ladies room when it's not crowded u can slip rite in, enter a closed stall, finish and slip rite out!

Not so the men's room which may have only one or 2 stalls. And, if they're busy u need to wait around until one's available!

[Stephanie47]

Actually, at crowded venues I have seen more CIS women rushing into a men's room and yelling "Woman on Board!" because the lines for the ladies' room is so long. I never saw any guy having a problem with that.

[GracieRose]

If I have to use the restroom when dressed, I either find a gender neutral room or use the ladies room. Like Jillian, I go directly to a stall, do my business, wash my hands and leave. I've never had a problem. including the time I walked in to a full restroom, and when the next stall became available, the girl in front of me turned and told me to go on in because she was just waiting for her friend. I like to believe that I blend well enough that walking into the men's room would draw more attention than walking into the women's room.

[Fiona_44]

I always use the ladies room or a gender neutral room. Never had a problem. No way would I ever use a men's room.

[TheHiddenMe]

Most cis women would rather us to not be in there.

<Snip>

My question is have other's en'femme used the men's room and did they encounter negativity?

No one knows what most cis women think, and it is foolish to believe we--as most here are AMAB--that we do. Personally, because virtually all women's rooms have stalls, I believe cis women don't really care, as long as it doesn't involve their personal safety.

When there are unisex bathrooms, I use the unisex bathroom. When dressed, I use the women's and never had an issue.

The ONLY issue I've had is when I'm in the ladies room with my GG friends, and they want to discuss things in the stalls. I tell them in advance NOT TO ASK ME THINGS because I don't want other women to hear my voice.

BATHROOM ISSUES ARE FAR OVERBLOWN ON THIS BOARD. GET IN, DO YOUR BUSINESS, GET OUT.

SIMPLE.

[alwayshave]

In DC, most places now have gender neutral restrooms. In the older buildings I use the women's room.

[Debs]

Ive been going out dressed for many years in the uk, and never had a problem in the ladies, I cant understand what the problem is, you go into the ladies you lock yourself in a cubical to which nobody can see in or enter, its completely private, so how do you upset someone in that situation, if your not in the cubical, your fully dressed en femme and maybe stop to wash your hands and put a bit of lippy on, so how is that a danger to other women in the loo ?. When I was working I was sent to Denmark, Norway and Copenhagen, over there there are just Toilets, No ladies or Gents, just toilets with cubicals to which you lock yourself inside and nobody bats an eyelid or complains, and here in the uk is becoming more just toilets for both and just cubicals you can lock, I was in the Trafford Centre Manchester (A massive Mall) last week again just toilets, most cafe bars are just toilets, its the way the world is going, but it seems to be a problem in parts of America, do you not have locked cubicals in America. I can also see the benifits for small cafe and restaurants, they save space not having Ladies and Gents seperate toilets. Here in the uk Im finding its older establishments that have had seperate toilets in the past and have kept them like that at the moment, but all modern and refurbed buildings are going to a single toilet room with cubicals, As the Mandalorian says "This is the way"

[Princess Chantal]

To answer the question, yes I have used the mens restroom while enfemme only when there was a long line up for the womens. I have not had any negative confrontations in doing so. However, I did not do it alone as I always asked my friend Mutt or any other guy in my group to come with me for possible security purposes.

[macada10]

If lavatories are split by sex: Male-Female we should use male ones always.
How would you feel if a man ( crossdresser or not) enters a lavatory and your 9 y/o daughter is its only other user?
No doubt the best solution are individual lavatories without sex restrictions. But let's do the correct.

[prw230]

I was traveling dressed in skirt & blouse, but otherwise presenting male. As I was leaving the mens room, a guy was coming in. As I held the door for him, I could see his eyes scan me. The look on his face was "oh my god, I'm walking into the ladies room". He did a quick look at the sign that confirmed it was the mens room & his expression changed to one of confusion. It was all pretty funny.

I travel this way often & have never had a problem using the mens room

[MonicaPVD]

I have been out dressed and presenting as a woman for years and have never encountered any hostility or negativity from any woman in any ladies room. Now, if I just slapped on a dress and looked like a man in a dress, I would absolutely avoid the ladies room. There are certain social contracts that don't need to be written down. If you present as a woman, most if not all cis women will treat you as one. Even in conservative communities. If you present as a man in a dress, you run the risk of a more conservative woman thinking that you are invading their private space. That usually won't end well.

[Gillian Gigs]

The latest style of washrooms I have seen in Canada are doing away with the concept of male and female. You walk into this hall way and there are several doors on both sides, which are not marked. You step into a small narrow closet which has a toilet, and sink. They are so tight you can bang both elbows against both walls when seated. It would be a tight squeeze for a person of large girth. The church I attend has just renovated one of the washrooms to this standard also. The exception is common sinks and mirrors. Unisex washrooms are on there way in. They are safe and private with doors going from 2 inches above the floor to the ceiling.

[Natalie5004]

I agree. The bathroom thing does get out of proportion. Get in, get out. No issues.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Last time I was out enfemme the "family" restroom was busy and I didn't want to use the ladies so I went into the men's room. It was empty. Found a stall, took care of business and left.

I passed a young man entering on my way out. The look on his face was priceless!

[GaleWarning]

I am visiting churches in our parish on vestry business. The one I visited last Sunday had just one (unisex) loo. No-one seemed to mind. It's the way to go!

[Patience]

...no pun intended.

[Geena75]

The very few times I have used the facilities when out as Geena I have used the ladies' room -- but it was a single occupancy with locking door, and in an accepting venue.

I have a theory about which room to use: a) if I'm dressed and using a ladies' room, I hope to look like a lady and seem to blend in. No one is going to see my personal stuff because there are stalls with doors. Not much of an issue. b) if I'm dressed and using a men's room, I still hope to look like a lady and would not blend in. Again, I would use a stall and hope it has a door. I would stand out more, and be more likely to be harassed.

To those wanting to shelter their child from cross-dressers -- it would be easier to tell a little girl that they saw a homely woman in the ladies' room than to explain the same to a little boy in the men's room. In neither case would one's personal stuff be on display since a stall is used.