Finally Angela

[Angela Marie]

Over the past year or so I have had trouble coming to terms with my gender issues. My wife suggested therapy. I finally found a wonderful nonjudgmental , understanding person. Since transition is not a realistic option she suggested I try to go out dressed every now and then without a wig and makeup. As I pointed out in a previous post I did that and it was quite liberating. Fast forward a few weeks later and I feel a sense of peace and fulfillment. Being true to yourself is a wonderful feeling.

[Diane P]

Congratulations! I'm glad to hear that you feel a sense of fulfillment and peace. I only started fully CD'ing Sep of last year, prior to that I underdressed for about 20 years. I'm not quite sure how it happened but back in May I had a dream where I was saying "I am a woman, I am Diane, Diane is the real me". When I woke up I remembered the dream and said that comment out loud to myself. It felt right.

Last month I went to dinner, dressed as Diane, with a friend in OKC the day before a Girls Night Out. Walking down the street to the restaurant from where I had parked I knew people could tell I was a man dressed as a woman and didn't care. I guess telling myself that "I am a woman, I am Diane, Diane is the real me" the month before helped me be confident in myself.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela , There is only one person that knows what you really want

[Natalie5004]

Please remember that people do not really care. Be true to yourself. That is all that matters.

[ellbee]

Only every now & then?


Me? I'd do it 24/7/365, if feasible... I swear, it's like I'm addicted or something!


Nah, it's just my comfy spot. Sounds like you found yours, too!

I've basically been doing it for the past 7 years now -- and this hasn't been my first go-around with this, either, ha! I may very well be doing this for the rest of my life, really.


People probably won't look at you the same. Any more. Ever again. Get used to that. It's not bad, just different.

Some men will avoid you. Others may view you as feminine companionship and/or with sexual desire (personally, I'm single & usually fine with that! ). Fortunately, most will be somewhere in the middle.

GG's will probably no longer view you as a potential mate. I'm fine with this, as well, because the trade-off is well worth it! While they will probably see you as some sort of (gay?) trans-person (as long as one isn't too "creepy" with it), many will welcome you with open arms into their sisterhood as an honorary member! Again, though, not as a GG... Instead, the gay/trans thingy I mentioned earlier -- the guys will, too. Are you okay with this? Being viewed as "one of those"? If the need to do something like this is that great, then one *has* to be okay with it.

At the same time, though? It's actually kinda freeing in a way, too!


P.S. Learn to work with your outfits. If you ever feel the need to, your new "wig" is now a hat or a hood. Wear stuff that will minimize your masculinity, and accentuate your femininity (if that's what one is after) -- while keeping in mind that you're still presenting in "guy-mode." Also, doing just your brows & eye make-up sometimes, for example, can only take a few minutes... Yet, still really make a big impact on femming up your presentation, if the mood strikes!

[Angela Marie]

I actually wish I could dress 24/7; however my wife who is mostly supportive has asked me to abide by some restrictions and my children do not know. The important point is that I have accepted Angela. as my true self. As for makeup I do try to present as femme as possible even when not dressed and I agree a quick touch here and there does wonders. The long and short is that I simply want to live my life as Angela. No clubbing, dating. Just day to day; which I suspect most people make or female do.

[GretchenM]

That is so wonderful Angela. I discovered that approach a few years ago on my own and it definitely works for me. I save the glamour for when I am home alone. There are those that will give you the evil eye for not complying with strict tradition, mostly men and once in a great while a woman - ignore them or just give them a smile or a pleasant "Hi." It is sort of a statement of, "Yes we are different and that is OK." And it is OK with my wife as well, but not one of her sisters. My wife does not want to see the full Gretchen; "I can't unsee it." That's OK.

[alwayshave]

Angela, I'm glad you found an understanding therapist.

[CDMargret]

I now how you feel. Last Friday night I went to a local like minded event and I did not wear my wig and makeup. The place is just to hot and last visit there I was a dripping mess. It was very freeing to be out dressed like that. And I did get a bit warm yet not like the last visit.

[Sylvia88]

Congrats Angela!! Being true to yourself makes all the difference!

[kimdl93]

I am glad you have found an approach that works for you and your wife.