Any others that still dress secretly and how has that been going for you up this point? I have always remained secretive about it. Haven't dressed in a few years and have never fully CDed. Mostly bra, panties, lingerie, skirts. Just curious about others experiences. Thanks.
Except for those that are full time, think that everyone else is in some kind of closet. Some closets are larger than others, some include parts of the outside world but we all have our little (or bigger) secrets. I think that retirement put me back into a closet though I may dress up to 8 hours a day. Kind of took away my business trip adventures. And I still keep it secret from my unapproving spouse. And the kids. But I?m ok with that. I had my fun. Nothing ever stays the same.
i totally agree with Karren ^^ on this
my only closet is my local area, I can dress at home all I want, I cannot walk in my local area or let the neighbours see me, I can leave the house dressed in the car via our garage which is part of the house with electric doors, so I can get fully dressed, put a coat on with a hood, put my big sunglasses on, get in the car in the garage, open the door and drive out with my top half covered with sunglasses on, when I get about 2 miles down the road take my jacket hood and sunglasses of, tada out fully dressed, and when I return home do this in reverse, I can open the electric garage door as I aproach and drive straight in and close the door behind me. What a wonderful life I have
Like Karren said, unless you are full time we are all in the closet to some degree. I am out to my wife and that is it. She does not want me to be seen out and about not that I would do it anyway.
I do enjoy going to a nail salon for a pedicure with color and being treated like one of the girls.
Crissy
My Wife found out about 3 years ago and was very upset/confused
I have purged twice since then, but I think she knows that, now I am unemployed again, my 'silliness' is what keeps my head straight - but we never talk about it.
I dress during the day (although about to hit a few weeks of limited possibilities due to summer breaks and family visits) and when I go out during the day (dog walks, shopping) I present as male but try and wear as much female attire as I can - I have managed to go shopping wearing lady's jeans, checked shirt/blouse with one of my unpadded bras underneath - that made the adrenalin flow! Only one person took a second look and that was when I was getting out of my car and he saw down my blouse - he smiled at me nicely.
I think I am in the closet, but it is a pretty big one. My wife knows and is supportive, even participatory up to a point, and she is in there with me. Although I have been out and about frequently and have CD/TG friends both virtually and in real life, she is the only one who knows both my male and female personas. My sons do not know, and we have studiously kept this secret from them even though they are adult men. How much longer - I really don't know. I wrote an article about this - https://kandis-land.com/what-about-t...n-kris-burton/. You might want to give it a read, it may have some resonance for you.
www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/
Jill has a full womens wardrobe and has been fully dressed in public many times but still in the closet with my spouse. Like Karren when I retired my dressing opportunities while on business trips ended that is the only thing I miss about my working days. I still dress 4-6 times a month I have noticed that wearing panties under my male shorts has helped. Hopefully when I introduce Jill to my wife I can dress more often for the next 20 years or so. Dang I hate the closet!
Jodiee, I fully dress. Not as often as I like as I have adult children living with me. My wife is supportive.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
My closet seems to get smaller. My wife knows I like to dress but is not supportive. After my kids left the nest I had about 10 years where my dressing flourished; my wardrobe expanded and I got out 4 or 5 times per month. With COVID then retirement, we downsized our house and did a major relocation which required me to purge about 80% of my wardrobe.
Now days I get to dress maybe once or twice per month when my wife goes to help my daughter with the grandkids. I'm starting to find shopping locations and social outlets for CDs in my new area. But our new house also has much less privacy and judgemental neighbors with prying eyes. Definitely much more of a challenge but it still brings me joy ... so I keep doing it.
Personally I consider closeted being where it is kept a secret. But if it is dressing alone without going out to any degree I call it private. My gender identity is no longer kept a secret but the gender expression is private when it involves more than wearing feminine colors, patterns and undergarments and the like. In private I will go most of the way to what I would wear in public if I went out which I don't. However in private I don't use much of any makeup or a wig. It has all changed over the years with the further development and a better definition of how my identity works and is comfortable. Of course I do need to consider what my wife of 54 years does not want to see.
Each to his or her own on this matter. It is what satisfies your need.
I have the very same closet as Debs. Except, no electric garage door opener.. I use the same leaving the house method, and remove the camouflage clothing a little ways down the road and add the wig. Voila.. transformation complete.
Works well for me..
Emily
I am firmly in the closet and plan on staying here. I do wear panties with my wife’s tacit approval, but every thing else is for my eyes only.
Honoring the woman within
If out of the closet is defined as who knows then I am firmly in the closet since my wife is the only one. But going out is another thing I go out regularly; and I have just started going out sans wig and makeup with feminine attire. I try not to have people I know see me but I think it is inevitably going to happen. Since I finally came to terms with the dominance of my feminine side I won?t lie about it. If someone judges me by my mode of dress that?s their problem not mine.
I have dressed fully as a CD, but now due to changes in personal circumstances (i.e. married) I only occasionally dress, mostly panties, stockings high heel shoes and other lingerie. This I do secretly as I don't think my wife would understand that it's a need I have which is part of me as a person. Maybe one day we may have that conversation.
I agree with Karen that unless one is open with everyone about being a cross dresser (even if they do not present as such full-time) they are to some extent in the closet, hiding this part of themselves from someone for whatever reason.
So, while I do identify as transgender and I have come out to many friends, colleagues and a few family members, I keep this part of my life, if not a well kept secret, at least separate from some parts of my life. Most of the time this division has worked ok for me in recent years, but I live alone and a fair distance from family. I am not sure how I would be able to tolerate living in a DADT situation.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I live by myself, but I never dress to stay in. I've gotten to where I almost never fully dress to go out around home, although my leggings, shorts, sandals, big loose tops, nail polish, and purse I guess has to qualify as dressing. When I type all that out it even sounds like dressing to me, but it doesn't feel like it. Can't really explain that except that it doesn't include the big three of wig, makeup, and boobs.
The biggest reason I no longer dress around where I live is that I'm traveling for work a lot. Mostly driving distance, and even when it's beyond what would typically be driving distance I try to drive anyway. I don't think I've been on a trip yet when I didn't dress, but as I've said on here many times lately, I just haven't been feeling it. There have been a couple of times that it's been great, but that had to do with the venue as much as anything. It's best if I can extend the stay a day or two rather than just doing a quick evening out for dinner or whatever.
I still feel like I should be dressing to the nines at every opportunity, but I am absolutely uninspired to do that. I stayed at the Opryland hotel a month or so ago, and that's such a great venue to me that I did dress to the nines and really enjoyed it, but that was much better than it's been for a long time. What I want to wear has changed dramatically with age. I rarely wear a dress or skirt. I just don't think I look good in dresses, so why bother. More and more I'm just wearing what I want to wear at the time. I don't have a well-developed sense of where the line is between wearing some fem things in male mode and crossdressing/female mode. Almost every day when I get home I put on women's shorts or legging, woman's big, loose top, women's flip flops or sandals and I go anywhere and every where and absolutely have no sense of being crossdressed. My toes are always polished, but even when my fingernails are polished, still not feeling cross dressed. Add makeup, yep, starting to get there but still feeling "male mode". Bra with no forms (I almost never wear forms anymore regardless of mode), then I've probably crossed a line. Add a wig, then certainly. When I had long hair it was even harder to find the male/female line.
I don't know how it is for everybody else, but for my whole life I've often worn head to toe clothes from the girl's/women's department and felt zero cross dressed, and had zero hesitation about running errands, visiting friends and relatives, really anything. Well, except work, so I guess there was some sense. Off time, though, that's how I've always typically dressed.
I consider myself a closet dresser even tho I go out dressed all the time. Sherry has appeared all over the US and around the world. I often go to clubs, bars, and week long T events dressed.
But, not where I live!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I would say I am in the closet. There are a few people that know. I will go out in the winter time just for a drive. I live alone at this time and will dress at home most evenings. I work part time and an on call so not much during the day since I can get a call to go to work. Mu office closet is all my feminine attire. I now have more heels than men shoes.
I am kinda with Debs and Karren on this. I get out about once a month maybe a couple of times if I am lucky. I travel occasionally for work and that helps a lot. No one knows about me except for my wife, and three other local crossdressers. I have and do fully crossdress from wig to heels (or even flats), sometimes from wig to jeans and running shoes. Brenda
I'm in the closet except to my wife, had the bug since very young but only dabbled over the years only fully CD for about 3 years after coming out to wife, since then I have only been out full femme twice, half hour walk on a beach front early Sunday morning, and been out in male mode wearing a skirt once. Don't get chance to dress full often at all. Still early days for me. It's very difficult mentally. Want to express myself more lol
Last edited by EmilyShy; 07-13-2023 at 11:36 PM.
Everyone's responses have been so great and wonderful to read. As I mentioned, I'm still really new to this forum and it's already been so helpful, relatable, and taking a weight off my shoulders. Thank you all and I look forward to hearing more of your stories.
I have been closeted since I was a kid too. Always snuck around when girlfriends or family was gone. Used to play it safe then got more risky changing during short periods when they were running errands, to eventually dressing when my ex was asleep in the other room. She eventually caught me, and as I've mentioned, I never fully dressed, just skirts, dresses, bra panties, and lingerie especially. A few others know that I have years ago when I sent some photos to them, but other than that it's an unknown to most in my life. I really like the "need to know approach" I've heard some mention. I guess that's how I've gone about things up to this point. We'll see where it goes from there.
I am firmly in the closet to my homophobic wife. She knows nothing and would not want to know. But she volunteers one day a week and usually visits her Mom once a week, so Aneline gets to dress up a little. Was better when we both worked full time and I could work/dress at home. I also underdress with panties, nude lipstick and clear nail polish most days.
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...m-I-an-anomaly
Here you go hun lots of wonderful replies...
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
I dress often. My wife has seen me dressed many times. So, she is not 100% lets go on this but she is not slamming the door either.
Nobody else knows except one sister and my wife's son who she had to tell for some reason.
I have been out in the daytime only. I shop for clothes, food. Been to the movies. No bar or club but I am not a bar person anyway.
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