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Thread: going out in in male mode

  1. #1
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    going out in in male mode

    I would love to out fully dressed as a woman but have not, but have heard people going out wearing women's clothes but no makeup or wig. Unless you do it away from home and not see any body you know, it sounds like good way to get outed and your secret found out, I have a chance to dress coming up and since I have no wig or makeup skills I like the idea but it sounds risky, help. me understand ??

  2. #2
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    I doubt all that many of us use makeup and wigs as a prevention for being outed although these items would make us less recognizable to people who know us. It is really a matter of personal preference, as I have come to learn. Some have no desire to wear them. I like the all the extras myself because I like being transformed as much as possible into someone I am not. As a result, I view myself as a crossdresser , not tran. Sometimes you have to experiment a bit before you can settle in on what your style and preferences are. Things are often not static, but eventually you will figure out what is right for you.

    Sandi

  3. #3
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    Jennifer, Amazon has been every CD's best friend, the last wig I bought was only $20 and looks fabulous! Watch some Youtube, so many tutorials. I'll be going out tomorrow, "less is more" is key, try to match your features with a look that is somewhere in the middle of where you're going.

    If it's to a few stores, keep it light and you could even wear glasses and a mask if you really feel the need to keep it low key. Wear pants and a colored top, sandals, etc. Have a purse and paint your nails, next time out look at the women in your area and look for "blending" as best as possible.

    I'd start with a medium to short wig, most women around here wear that length, use a color corrector (or red lipstick) if you have a darker beard and add a foundation that is close to your skin tone. Add just a bit of lipstick and you're 90% there. Believe it or not, most of the people you'll see won't look twice, as long as you are close to the average but most importantly just BE YOURSELF! Some of the shoppers will see you as a man, we just are built differently, but no one has ever said anything and I'm about 260 and 5'10", not the "average".

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Debs's Avatar
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    Sandi is right, when I first started going out dressed 30 yrs ago, I was a mish mash of whatever I could get to wear, makup was all over the place wig didnt suit me, couldnt walk in heels, didnt know where to go and the list go on, but starting somewhere is needed. So as Jamie says buy a cheep wig, buy some cheap makeup, practice at home. Internet is your tutorial. 30 years ago I didnt have the internet, what a mess I was with makeup, lol. but my desire was overiding every distaster or step back I came across. All I'm saying and Sandie is you will eventually find clothes that suit your shape which you look good in, your makeup style will settle down and youll learn to use make to blend in or stand out when you go at night, my shopping makeup is totally different than my going out at night makeup. I can walk in heels now for many miles, my walk is feminine my whole body demina is female, it takes lots of practice, not so much these days after 30 years. buy all means dont do makeup or a wig, some peeps are ok with that, but I feel incomplete when out without being 100% dressed. It takes time, there are no shortcuts, lol

  5. #5
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Jennifer, Makeup skills take practice. A sixteen year old girl applying makeup for the first time doesn't get it right. She keeps applying till she gets the look she is looking for. As for a wig. Start by purchasing an inexpensive wig and build from there. As to going out, see if there is a CD/TG group in Pittsburg. Look on meetup dot com.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  6. #6
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Took me almost a year of makeup practice before I was ready to go out in public enfemme. And it was not in the summer. Way to hot here in southwestern PA to go out dressed with a makeup and a wig. And I would have never gone out in male mode wearing fem clothing without a wig or makeup.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  7. #7
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    If you are not ready to have your "secret" discovered, you are not ready to go out in public. More precisely, if you've not done a realistic risk assessment of both the possibility and the impact of such a thing happening, you are not ready to go out in public.

    Forget about passing. Most of us never will. If nothing else tips it, the moment you open your mouth to speak, you're going to be read, and that's OK. If you comport yourself appropriately for your age and the venue, most people, by far, will "play along", accepting your gender as the one you're presenting.
    So what does that comportment look like? Dress, makeup, and bearing appropriate to your age and the venue, for starters. Makeup is a skill that must be learned. Watch the YouTube tutorials and practice. When you feel like you've achieved an acceptable look, seek feedback. Odds are that you'll be more critical than others, but either way, a second or third opinion is always good to have.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  8. #8
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennifer60 View Post
    but have heard people going out wearing women's clothes but no makeup or wig.
    I do it all the time, go out in women's clothes without makeup or wig (or forms for that matter). It's an easy way to be dressed but still look as my family, and society, expect me to look. I went grocery shopping yesterday, my outfit was a pair of women's Lees straight leg jeans, a pair of New Balance femme tennis shoes (on my feet I also had a pair of those femme no-show stretch socks?, a women's tee shirt (you can tell by the shorter sleeves). Underwear was bikini panties and a sports bra.

  9. #9
    Member Jemima Stephens's Avatar
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    I often go out in male mode but completely dressed en-femme, like Michaela, one of my smaller bras under a pair of girl jeans and a blouse or T shirt and 3 pairs of my shoes are unisex.
    I also have a pair of 3/4 length capris that I wear for walking the dogs

    It feels great and you very rarely get noticed, but you have that frisson of excitement and feel you could perhaps go a step further next time.....

  10. #10
    Senior Member Davina2833's Avatar
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    Michaela Jane,

    You are my type of girl....

    Davina

  11. #11
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    The biggest game changer in CDing is a wig. It changes your entire face and can make you unrecognizable, especially when paired with good makeup. So, going out as a man in a dress with no wig or makeup will not only make you instantly recognizable to acquaintances, it will also draw a lot more attention your way than being fully crossdressed.
    Last edited by MonicaPVD; 07-26-2023 at 09:19 AM.

  12. #12
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    Well, thank you Davina!

  13. #13
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Yes, i do this regularly when i go out now and have never had any serious aggro from people.
    I never use makeup or wear a wig, but i still wear a skirt, tights (if it's not too warm), ankle boots, fem top & a bandana/hat. Maybe some female-style sunglasses if the weather merits it. From a distance i might sneak under the radar, but close-up i could never be mistaken for female.
    The best advice i ever received here was: Be confident and own it!
    Who cares if random strangers don't like what you wear?
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  14. #14
    Member Jessica G.'s Avatar
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    If it was me, I would have to go out in full everything. Like mentioned the hair pulls it together for me as well. I can have everything else done, but it is not until I put on a wig that it pulls it all together. But I understand how that may not be everyone's desire. Some may just want to go out in public and have the choice to wear women's clothing which you should be able to do. Women have been able too with no worries. But it is something that people will easily take notice. Just depends on location and setting.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    Hello Jennifer,
    Though I would not do it myself, I occasionally see young men wearing women's clothing in public without trying to present as female. It would seem that young people are more accepting
    luv J

  16. #16
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I agree with Jacques. While working at a concert venue, I often see males dressed in female type clothing without the wigs, forms, or makeup. I agree that this younger generation is more accepting and out in the open about wearing what they want.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I often go grocery shopping or just for a stroll to the other part of town or nearby smaller town wearing women's clothes in male mode. I usually wear skinny jeans in the colder months and shorts or pants from thin material in the summer. I also wear blouses and women's T-shirts occasionally, but never a skirt or a dress.
    Since the shoes are beside skirts and dresses most obviously women's item, I try not to be too conspicuous and don't wear stilettos either, but opt for flats or low heel sandals. Sometimes if I feel really brave, 1.5 or 2 inch block heel pumps or sandals, usually in darker colours. In the winter I often wear ankle boots, sometimes even those with high block heels and small platform.
    I wear panties and pantyhose every day anyway, except in the summer when it is too hot for long pants and pantyhose, but they stay hidden under my pants and socks. On the other hand, on these shopping trips or strolls around the city I don't try to hide that I'm wearing pantyhose and more often than not, they can be easily spotted. They are clearly visible from ankles downwards, either because I'm wearing above the ankle pants and also because women's shoes are more open. On a few occasions I noticed that even panties could be spotted through thin white women's pants when I'm wearing those.
    Of course, I'm nervous every time I go out dressed like that, if by any chance I stumble on someone I know or someone would make a recognizable photo of me and posted on the internet, but on the other side, it is very exciting to go out in the middle of the day wearing women's clothes and shoes and be noticed.
    Most of the time when I go out in male mode wearing women's clothes, I don't wear the "full set", but opt just for one or two items. Most often I wear women's pants and platform sneakers, ankle boots or sandals in the summer. Purse is a must item, because women's pants don't have usable pockets and I have to put my keys, wallet and phone somewhere, but I don't wear too flashy or girly models.

  18. #18
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    I haven't cut my hair since covid. It is now shoulder length.

    Today my wife and I went shopping, I had on a pair of chic denim shorts, a plaid women's wrangler short sleeve shirt , my sketchers and of course shadowline panties.

    I was a little nervous at first because I was completely dressed how I like to dress. But after a while no one noticed and my wife told me I was iimagining things.

  19. #19
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    Are you looking for advice on makeup and wigs, or are you looking for the confidence to go out as a male in women's clothes? If it's the first I have nothing to offer you. If it's the second, I can say there are more men doing just that these days, although not nearly enough to make it mainstream and common. My wife saw a guy this morning walking wearing a blue miniskirt as if it was perfectly normal.

  20. #20
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    OMG, Jenn! U should know it's NOT about anything other than liking what u see in your mirror!

    I have met a couple of girls from CD.com that sinply threw on a dress and nothing else! When one met our T girl group for dinner, I thot she was nice. But, a few T's were obviously NOT pleased with her minimalist preparations. But, NONE of us could pass!

    It took me a year of dressing before I finally like what I saw in my mirror. And, another 10 years before I even thot about going out dressed!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Senior Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    If you go out with no wig or makeup you better be able, as Aunt Kelly mentioned previously, to handle the potential consequences of being found out. Sometimes the consequences can be pretty severe. Maybe wait and get 1 or 2 inexpensive wigs and learn a few basic makeup things then go out in clothes that blend in with other women in your age group. It won't take long to learn this and the chances of being found out by people you know will go way down. You may still get clocked as a CD but people shouldn't readily recognize you.
    "Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

  22. #22
    Senior Member jjjjohanne's Avatar
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    Hey, Jennifer.
    I am a guy who loves to wear women's clothes, but I do not identify as a woman. After trying to pass myself off as a woman the very few times I ever went out as a young man, I got the idea that I didn't need to present female to wear a skirt. So, I started venturing out occasionally. Eventually, I started going out in all women's clothing as a man. I started doing more and more normal things this way. It is what I want. This is not a compromise for me. I have started going out closer to home these days, but it is risky. I keep my crossdressing a secret.
    I blog about my outings and experiences, if you want to see what it is like. For real, crossdressing is kind of like a face tattoo. Some people look, but no one says or does anything about it (at least in my experience).
    https://joeypress.wordpress.com
    I am a man who presents male and wears feminine clothes.
    I blog about my outings: https://joeypress.wordpress.com/

  23. #23
    Member nancy58's Avatar
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    I feel like I am less likely to be discovered by someone I know if I'm dressed all the way, including makeup and wig. Makeup is fairly easy until you get to the eyes. A coating of foundation that matches my natural skin color, followed by matching powder and lipstick seem to do the job for me. (I also have a somewhat sparse beard that is now grey, so I can probably get away with less.) The wig has been more perplexing, because I couldn't even part my own hair when I had it. I've done a fair amount of looking at how-to articles on the Internet, and I also pay attention to what women my age are doing. It has worked so far.

    I have gone out "under dressed" or wearing femme pants and/or shirts that are ambiguous to me in male mode. Sometimes my wife says something, and sometimes not. No one else has ever criticized my attire.
    Nancy
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving

  24. #24
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Public CD'ing, regardless of one's presentation style at any given time, is *not* for everyone.

    And there's nothing wrong with that. Just the facts.



    I should clarify, though:

    It may not be for someone -- at this time in their life, anyway. Somewhere down the road? Perhaps, perhaps not.


    All good!

  25. #25
    Reality Check
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    Some people like to call attention to themselves or "shock" the public by walking around as a "man in a dress". If that is you and you are ready for everyone in your town to think of you as weird, go ahead.

    Otherwise, do the whole woman thing (wig, makeup, boobs, hips, etc.) or nothing at all.
    Krisi

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