Compliments on photos vs looks?

[Camille15]

Hi All,

Maybe I am reading into things, or being overly sensitive, but as of the last year or two I often see more comments on my posts in the Pictures & Videos form like "nice photos" or "love your photos" and "your pics are beautiful" rather than "you look great in those photos" or even just "you look beautiful".

While I do appreciate the compliments on my photography skills, it feels so much nicer to receive a comment on how I look vs how good my photography skills are, at least here in this forum. Maybe I'm just being vain or shallow. Or maybe it feels like I'm looking less good with age, and people are just reaching for something nice to say? I'd almost rather not receive those notes, because then it feels like it's just confirming the latter.

Is it just me? Or do others sometimes feel the same if folks compliment their photography skills, or fashion choice, rather than how they appear in said photos? Thanks for listening to my low self-esteem vent.

Best,
Camille

[Sandi Beech]

Ah yes, it is easy to have self doubt when getting compliments on posted pictures. Are people just being nice to me is the same thought I have had. It definitely feels much more sincere when someone walks up and out of the blue in person to pay a compliment. Those are always nice to get.

I hear you on the aging aspect. I wish I could just go back 6 years to my looks when I first started going out on a regular basis. The thing is, few of us look like real female models so we just have to accept our limitations and do the best we can with what we have to work with.

You are not alone though. I sometimes have the same thoughts.

Sandi

[Fiona_44]

Camille,

I can only speak for myself but if/when I say something like "nice photo", I am not talking about the photography aspect of it. Occasionally I might but would phrase it something like "nice composition in that photograph". I sometimes might comment that "you look great in that dress" or "you look lovely" but sometimes use just a simple "nice photo" which, for me, means that the person in the photo (you or whoever), I think is nice looking. I suspect others may use it similarly sometimes.

[Emily in the south]

I agree with Fiona.
Comments like.. nice pics, almost always are meant to compliment the person in the picture. Their beauty, outfit, poses etc.

So ok Camille, to set the record straight... your photography skills are average at best, Lol, but You always look absolutely gorgeous in every image.

Emily

[Bea_]

I get it. I don't post photos here, but I feel the same about anything my wife might say. I'd love to hear her say that I look great in some item or outfit, but the best I've ever gotten is "I like that, I wish it would fit me" or "That looks comfortable". I have to cherish those little things because, for the most part, she never verbally acknowledges my dressing. It's kinda reverse DADT. I don't ask what she thinks and she doesn't tell me.

But, here on the forum, I'm guessing the "Nice photo" comment isn't talking about photography skills. Assume the best and enjoy it.

[Rhonda Jean]

I think you're reading WAY too much into it. I venture that they're never commenting on your photography skills.

[Kris Burton]

I would not overthink it Camille. I would like to think there is artistry in what we do, so if a person says "nice photo" or "love your photos" you are being complimented on the totality of your presentation. Photography skills might be a part of that, but if the image presented is not pleasing or moving it is not likely you would hear much of anything. You are getting a positive reaction, and that is always good - accept the deserved compliments coming your way. A much bigger concern is if your images elicited no reaction at all.

[DianeT]

You are questioning the authenticity of the thoughts expressed by people in comments. Maybe you are reading too much like some said, but I don't think everyone comments honestly in this section because this is a support forum, and people expect kind or at the very least respectful comments. Some comments may be sometimes more diplomatic than genuine, some try to focus on what they think is nice about the picture.

Commenting on a person's beauty is of little interest since the person can't do much about her genetics, and anyway beauty is in the eye of the beholder (and there are a lot of beholders with a lot of different eyes here).

But commenting honestly about the clothes, accessories, makeup and poses would seem useful, wouldn't it? I don't post pictures, but if I did, I'd rather have honest comments, not about me (can't change my genetics), but about my presentation, so I could improve. But maybe I wouldn't want comments to be public.

Some members have PM'd my wife for advice about clothes, and I think that is smart, because the average GG is head and shoulders above us in that game. They learned for years and years to adjust their clothes to their particular body and character. Same for makeup.

The thing is, if you asked GGs (some did, like the OP in a thread about introducing her female alter ego to her wife), you could seriously refine your game, and avoid many mistakes.

[docrobbysherry]

Camille, I've been here a really long time. And, whatever thots u have? I've probably mulled them over decades ago!

My mother told me if u can't say something nice? Don't say anything at all. So, my posts tend to be on the "sincere", not, "fluff" side.
That being said, there r some very wonderful, very sweet, ladies here that simply must say something nice no matter what!

I will NEVER EVER condemn these lovely, good hearted, girls!
But, I may not take their compliments to heart.

What strikes a chord with me is when I know someone really looked at my photo and said, "I like the way everything matched". Or, "Your figure looks really fem." Or, "U should have taken off your shades." Etc., etc.

[Crissy 107]

I think you're reading WAY too much into it. I venture that they're never commenting on your photography skills.

Rhonda Jean is spot on here. You look great and I love your smile. Nobody is commenting on the photography but how good you look.

[Diane P]

Camille, I have to agree with Crissy. If someone says something short like "Nice Photo" they're not commenting on how the photo looks but how the person in the photo looks. Believe me when I say that every photo I have seen of you shows a beautiful woman who is full of life and also dresses very well.

[mbmeen12]

Is it just me? Or do others sometimes feel the same if folks compliment their photography skills, or fashion choice, rather than how they appear in said photos?

Yup it's you...

[alwayshave]

Camille, Sometimes it's the photographic skills, sometimes its the subject. I wouldn't over think it.

[Maria 60]

Well I don't know much about photography so my comments are about the person in the picture. If it any consolation you do look beautiful in your avatar pic

[Natalie5004]

When I say I love the photo, it is a reflection of the woman in the photo. Not the skills of the photographer.

[Patience]

Eh, I don't know.

It is well documented that women are far more generous with compliments to each other than men. Just because someone is a crossdresser does not mean they can or will override all basic masculine traits.

As most of us are (ostensibly) heterosexual males, complimenting another biological male on their looks (enfemme or otherwise) can feel like it goes against the grain for some.

People for the most part will compliment what they find nice, or in some cases at least try to find something nice to be complimentary about which will preserve their heterosexual self image.

Since complimenting you directly could be (rightly or wrongly) considered kind of gay, folks might be deflecting and complimenting your photo technique instead.

Still, I think honest misguided or deflected compliments are preferable by far to people who go out of their way to be gratuitously nasty about others' looks, especially when the person leveling the criticism never bothered to share any pictures of themselves. A rare occurence, granted, but still ridiculous when it happens.

My question for you is - Why are you so fixated on your level of attractiveness and why do you feel the need to be told you look good by others, and in such a specific way? You know you look good. Just take the darned compliments, woman!

[Camille15]

My question for you is - Why are you so fixated on your level of attractiveness and why do you feel the need to be told you look good by others, and in such a specific way? You know you look good. Just take the darned compliments, woman!

Fair question and point. So I am a very introspective person and have done a lot of therapy and personal growth over the years. I am committed to not living my life for the approval of or praise from others, which I unknowingly used to do, and have made great strides in my everyday life towards this goal. But I still find that for my femme side, I feel a wonderful, glowing warmth inside of me when I hear or read someone saying I'm pretty. I've thought about analyzing and addressing this need for external praise, as I've done with my male self, and to learn to appreciate my inherent beauty. But then I decided, life is short, and I get precious little time as my femme self anyway, so I'm not going to overthink this one and will just let myself enjoy it and be vain the 0.001% of my time I get to spend as Camille. It will be a guilty pleasure I allow myself.

[NancySue]

I agree with Natalie 5004. I don?t even think about the photography.

[Cheryl T]

A good presentation is a combination of things when it's a photo.
The outfit, the makeup, the pose as well as the background and the composition of the photo. If you have skills in photography, use them. When I see someone's photo and they ask for criticism I don't include the photo aspects, only the person, the makeup and the outfit and pose.

[Di]

Yup it's you...

Lol that made me lol
I never think of the photography and I always say great pictures.
Would never say to anyone….your so beautiful I only said that to Sherlyn.
I know the pictures everyone is looking for validation and support.
I only occasionally venture into the Gallery so if I say great pictures or love the pictures please don’t take offense .
I rarely go in there because that section is where Sher modded and hung out the most.
But want to say if you enjoy taking pictures and sharing them ( Sher did) try not to take comments negatively…….People express themselves differently and I think they are well meaning comments and just have fun with it.

[Shelly Preston]

As a moderator I very rarely comment on pictures.

I also know that not everyone sees a picture in the same way.

Remember those posting chose to share there picture with us.

Some do it for compliments others do it just because they can.

[nancy58]

Well, I'll say you look great in your profile pic! But don't split hairs so much. A great photo can of course have a subject who doesn't look great, but it seems perfectly reasonable to accept the compliment as including you. Take 'em however you can get 'em!

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Camille:

Any future comment I make about you will make it clear that I think you are beautiful, because it's true.

[Karren H]

Personally, I take anything positive as a compliment, regardless of how it is worded.