Maybe I?m not supposed to dress up anymore

[Shannon Lace]

This morning I was out on my back deck dressed up and painting my long nails I recently bought. I had just responded to Rhonda Jean?s thread about men wearing nails/polish when I heard a female voice say hello. I must have looked like a deer in headlights and my heart was racing. A female coworker stopped by since she was in the area. I had no idea she said and apologized for not calling first. She sat down across from me and was smiling ear to ear. I looked at her and said, what? She said I looked really good and said she wouldn?t say anything to anyone. I said thank you and we sat there for hours talking about me and other things in general. She barely took her eyes off of me the whole time. She offered to finish my nails and I said yeah. She asked if she could stop by a little more often and I said I didn?t mind. I laughingly said just give me a little notice in advance. She said I was welcome to stop by her place anytime and that we can just hang out and talk. I told her I would like that. Well ladies, that?s twice now within the last week or so. Maybe someone?s trying to tell me something.

[EmilyShy]

Sounds to me like she wants you to dress for her ��

I'd play along rather stopping dressing.

[Kris Burton]

I guess this sort of thing really does happen sometimes....

[Diane P]

I have to agree with Emily, it sounds like she would realy like to have dress for her. So for now I'd say roll with the flow and see where it leads.

[Di]

Yeah NO
Since your wife is being kept in the dark about your crossdressing let’s not make things worse.
So if this happened -don’t even think of dressing like others suggested while your wife is being kept out of it.

Without looking back - update
Your hair dresser knows and keeps your secret
Your mom, her neighbors
The friend you FaceTimed with knew and has kept your secret
Your coworker just showed up and offered to do your nails…..just walked around back
You tell your wife after being shamed here since seems everyone knows but her it seems
She is thrilled after seeing you tells you grap your purse let’s go out to dinner .
But you are taking it slow
MIMS

[docrobbysherry]

U have a wife? And, u didn't bother to mention that here, Shannon? While hinting something was going on with u and a co-worker?

I was going to ask how this woman knew how to find u on your "back deck"? But, after knowing how u enjoy deceiving us? Fogeddaboudit!

[char GG]

Maybe it's time to come out to your wife. And stop entertaining female coworkers at your house when your wife isn't there. Do you want to blow up your life?

How would you feel if a male coworker came by to entertain your wife while you were out? Just because you are a CDer, doesn't justify your behavior.

Maybe someone is trying to tell you that you are playing with fire.

[Aka_Donna]

Forget fire, you have pulled the pin on a hand granade. You need to think carefully and get life under control now, or time is ticking and you can't hold the firing lever that long...

[EmilyShy]

I didn't know you were married when I posted does your SO know you dress? Time to tell her if not, as the cats out of the bag and also mention your co workers visit. Things can end well for you here if your honest and upfront

[Shannon Lace]

In my defense my wife is friends with all of my coworkers as I am with hers. My coworker who dropped in on me has been here before for a cookout as well as all of our other coworkers. My wife and I both tend to flirt and joke around. I?m only guilty of not telling my wife I dress.

[JulieC]

Chime in STRONG agreement that you are playing with fire/live grenade, etc. Char GG says it very well.

[char GG]

If your coworker that dropped in on you knows your wife, and knows that you dress, don't you think that your wife will find out? What makes you think that your wife doesn't already know?

Read some of threads from the GG's here. Many are most angry about the sneaking/hiding rather than the actual CDing. You may actually be able to do your nails together with your wife too.

[Di]

A coworker knowing before your wife is a BIG DEAL.
I would take Chars suggestion to looking into how wives feel about such things is a good idea.
Why was it kept from your wife? And yet you have a co worker keeping your secret now.
Seriously?

I?m only guilty of not telling my wife I dress.

Again read the GGs stories??the hardest thing for the wife to get over is the betrayal.
The hiding the games.
Not Cool

[Shannon Lace]

You ladies are right about this issue. I plan on opening up to my wife tomorrow. I want to be the one to tell her and not her hearing it through the grapevine. Everyone please keep your fingers crossed for me. I?m nervous as hell.

[Cheryl T]

So why would this most opportune event make you think you shouldn't dress anymore.
I'd love to have a female friend in addition to my wife that would accept and be like your friend.

[JulieC]

Best of luck Shannon! Let us know how it goes!

[Shannon Lace]

Thank you JulieC. I?ll let you know how it goes.

[Crissy 107]

Shannon, I hope you do come clean to your wife tomorrow and do not beat around the bush. Good luck and please let us know how you do

[Aka_Donna]

Good move, just remember it's better to err in timeliness than to postpone too long waiting for the perfect moment. Too often any good or somewhat good time is better than waiting too long hoping for the perfect time.

Alas, I have waited for the perfect moment too long and finally realized the perfect moment was in my head and not expressed thought/need eats away more than any possible joy from hitting the perfect moment. That's too much like waiting for lighting to strike.

[Di]

A good decision especially since someone else knows your secret……and not your wife.

Here is a post to help you
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...l-your-partner

Also alot of great posts in the Loved Ones ( especially the sticky’s )

Do not lie as it will come back to you ten fold.
She might have questions for sometime.
Remember you knew this about yourself many years give her grace to come to terms with it.

[Stephanie47]

First, you need to come clean with your cross-dressing and also tell your wife your friend stopped in while dressed. That may not stop your wife from unloading on you, but it may stop her mind from racing to whether or not your friend will spread the word. I do agree with others that she wants to see you attired as a woman. However, going to her place is totally out of the question. It's an open invitation to a destroyed marriage.

[NancySue]

Char is right. I?d strike both Maybes?Tell her ASAP, if not sooner. The match and stick of dynamite are very close.

[Shannon Lace]

Well JulieC and Crissy107, I did it. I came out to my wife this afternoon. We went out for lunch and as we were finishing our drinks, I told her everything. She asked if I was serious. I said yes. She asked me if I was gay, I said no. She asked if I wanted to become a woman, I said no. She said then why? I said that I just want to explore my feminine side and it was my escape from reality and stress. I told her I was completely happy with our relationship and marriage. I also told her about my coworker stopping by and my friend who saw me with makeup and curlers when she FaceTimed me. She said ?you?re not too smart are you ?.I couldn?t disagree with that. She seemed pretty calm throughout our conversation and I could tell she was processing it all on our drive home. She said we?ll talk more about it later. I was kinda left hanging for now.

[Diane P]

Shannon, when I posted my previous response I didn't realize you were married. The best thing you did was let your wife know about your dressing and the two other people who found out. Hopefully this will work out in your favor. I'll keep my fingers crossed fot you.

[mykell]

congratz on disclosing these things to your wife today....just a thought....she is processing lots of things right now
and i think the biggest hurdle will be the circle of friends.
so i think you still have some work to do too salvage your relationship....being brutally honest is what will be best in the future for you.
with coworkers having knowledge about you i cant see a DADT working.... i wish you both the best....

just a side note, when i disclosed to my wife she said its great that i got this off my chest but she felt i put her in the closet, having no one to talk about this too was a hardship.

maybe offer her the the FAB forum that di has in the forum....

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...f#faq_gg_forum