One thing that concerns me about expanding my crossdressing activities is my relationship status. I?m currently single and would love to have a relationship with a GG. I?m wondering if crossdressing has impacted you either positively or negatively in starting and developing a long-term relationship with a GG. What has your experience been?
In my experience going out dressed women r generally curious and accepting of dressers.
Until u ask for a date!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Please read the tips from the GG's. Be honest upfront before you commit to a long-term relationship. That doesn't mean first date. But don't waste your time or her time if she won't accept you as you are.
I would have to say negatively. I believe both my ex wives would agree with that assessment.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I agree with Char, if you're looking for something long term you need to let her know about your CD'ing, not at first but before you too serious. If she can't accept that part of you then better to find out before it's too late.
The Pink Fog will be with you, always!
GJ81, welcome to the forum!
I doubt there are many women who grow up dreaming of the day they marry their prince in shining...white wedding dress.That said, there are plenty of women who will accept having a crossdressing partner. Of the women that I've dated, four have known about my crossdressing. The first was quite confused about it, and took some time to wrap her brain around it, asking the usual questions in the process (are you gay, do you want to become a woman, etc). The second was wholly intolerant, and was rather critical. Unbeknownst to her, she taught me to never accept someone who didn't accept me. The third was a brief relationship, but she actively enjoyed it, quite possibly because she was bi.
The fourth is my wife. I told her about my crossdressing about two months into the relationship. A couple of days later, she bought me pantyhose. It hasn't all been perfect; there have been a couple of bumps. But, she's very accepting. We've been together more than 20 years now.
Will being a crossdresser reduce your opportunities for a long and happy relationship? Yes. Is it the end of the possibilities of that? Absolutely not. You can be a crossdresser and have a happy relationship. It can work, and it can work well. I very strongly advise you to follow what Char GG said above. Don't waste your time or hers. If you don't find someone accepting, move on. It's not worth living out a long term, maybe life long relationship with someone you know is not accepting. Too many of us don't accept ourselves enough to tell our partners until after we marry them. Don't do yourself or herself that disservice. Let her know relatively early on. Personally, I waited two months to give my (now) wife time to learn about me, and what I had to offer in a relationship.
Don't look to me, I have never had a positive experience in that realm, yet. Still waiting though!! lol
That is a big question. Luckily for me, I was already with my wife when I started dressing and she is mostly accepting. But I always wonder if women would be drawn to or repulsed by a crossdresser that they don't know. I've heard mixed things.
I was honest with my girlfriend by the second date, low and behold her brother transitioned. FYSA I have not changed my signature in ten years here. It still relevant to this day.
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
My ex girlfriend finished with me 20 years ago because of my dressing, but we are now best friends she comes out with me on a regular basis about 1 or 2 times a month, we have an amazing time, dont asked whats changed, I dont know, but I pick her up while Im dressed and we spend the weekend together and do all the girlie things girls should do. I found that golden ticket
We are really in a tough situation when it comes to some things and this is one of those things. I remember believing I was in full control of the situation a few days before marriage. I got my black garbage bag and removed my pantyhose stash what I thought was forever. I actually believed that was it a new life awaits, a new chapter and wearing fem clothes wasn't going to be part of it, no problem the garbage bag was thrown out and the slate was clean.
All for that encouragement it lasted two weeks, the first morning back from our honeymoon my wife went to work and I had another day off and there were slips and pantyhose everywhere and I broke so fast and wore a pair of my wife's pantyhose. That was the first time I wore anything of hers. I was so ashamed of myself that I broke her privacy and I was sitting on the edge of the bed thinking for hours with a white flag hanging over me this was stronger then I could have ever imagined. I didn't want to live as a fugitive to this the rest of my life and that same night I took the biggest chance of my life and told my wife everything, from the first time I remembered putting on my sisters pantyhose to that same morning I put on hers. No matter whatever the outcome was a building was lifted off my shoulders and I was really expecting my new traditional Europen wife was going to go home crying to her mother that she married a sissy. Instead she listened and a few questions and then told me she was upset that I wore her pantyhose but decided she wanted to see where it was going. That was over fourty years ago and I wrote this just as an example that we can believe that we could stop and especially when we love someone so much and don't want to lose them or hurt them and in the mean time the most hurting I would have did was to keep this behind her back. Because my wife accepted this and just didn't see any harm in it as long as I decided to keep it our secret and I thought at that point every women was the same until I came here a stated reading the horror stories of unaccepting women. What I'm really trying to say is for me it was why stronger then I thought and in the end I was ready to lose her knowing it's not going away and not to discourage you but get ready to drive on a road of uncertainty. It could go either way after all that was 1986 and there was no internet and I do have so much respect for my wife going in blind of what her newlywed husband just told her. Now a days it's more common and a women could educate themselves more. I'm not trying to discourage you lets just say it's good to be prepared.
Hi GJ. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find helpful all the discussions here. There is an infinite amount of experiences and opinions to inform anyone in the theme!
A couple of weeks ago my, now wife, shared her thoughts of advice to a crossdresser for how to behave in a new relationship:
1. As soon as you believe the new relationship has potential to endure, tell her about the crossdressing;
2. Think ahead and (know and) be clear about how you feel regarding your sexual orientation and where you think you will go with it;
3. Leave a lot of space to build together so it will be a couple’s matter, not only yours.
In our case, CD was essential to the success of our relationship. We have been together for 6 yrs and married this year.
Hi GJ81
I know you are currently single.
However, read the link in my signature on how to tell your partner, it has some great advice.
It was written by a GG(genetic girl) who was a member here.
I agree with "not on the first date" but don't hide anything. I'd pay extra-special attention to my longish nails, accessories, and other things when prepping for the first date. Maybe a mani-pedi. And thin out your body hair in case you really click.
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
A big change compared to forty or even twenty years ago is the relative economic status of men and women.
It is much harder these days to find men who are well off financially. Or, in some places, men with good stable jobs.
CDs do seem to be above average when it comes to finances, though there are some exceptions.
If you are well off, or even in a good place with a stable job, that can be a much bigger plus dating women than it used to be.
Gi,Originally Posted by Gi Gondin
Where is this posted?
I haven?t been in a relationship since I started dressing (coincidence! I was single when I started) so haven?t really had the same experiences as everyone else. Plus, I?d like to eventually transition, so that will complicate it even more.
My ex wife new from early on. We had fun with it before the kids. We were together for 20 years. Divorced for other reasons. A GG I was dating for 4 years found out while we were having other issues. She was angry that I didn't tell her and was confused as to what that meant. We had parted ways and she later read up on crossdressing. We have recently been in contact and she says she is OK with it. She even wants me to have a "girls night" with her. Whats funny, during our relationship she would paint my toes and thought it looked good. One time I joked about adding some foundation to make my complexion look better since it was winter ( tan was gone) she did my foundation and then progressed to a little neutral eye shadow and a hint of mascara. She thought it was fun that I would do that with her and never realized why I was a willing participant. Now she knows!
I know a few GGs that have willingly entered into a relationship with a CD and maybe a couple more who learned after they were married and embraced her husband's CDing, but they're few and far between.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Stephanie, seems like a good opportunity. It is interesting that she read up on cross dressing and has had a change of heart. People can change the minds if they are willing to learn.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Maybe I'm off base, but it seem like single bi and bi-curious women, as a group, might be more accepting of dating one of us. More understanding of LGBTQ+ than the average cis female, attracted to the female form, etc.
Last edited by Lisa Gerrie; 09-25-2023 at 12:47 PM.
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
Obviously the right thing to do is to be honest and upright as soon as a relationship starts to become serious. Having said that, every relationship is like a fingerprint - no two are the same and there is no way to accurately predict the eventual outcome.
My now ex-wife caught me on several occasions while I was wearing her pantyhose. The first time was only 6 months after our wedding. She threw a fit but I continued to secretly wear her pantyhose and I also continued to get caught.
We eventually divorced but reconnected as friends years later. My dressing eventually evolved for a period and my ex was happy to help me buy clothing and give me tips on how to properly present as a woman.
Why the change of heart? She said that she had changed and was at peace with things now, but I think I know the real reason... she could support my dressing because I was no longer her husband. Many women are tolerant and playful with crossdressers in general, but most women wouldn't want to be romantically involved with one.
On the flipside, my current girlfriend of the last several years has known about my dressing desires (which is primarily back to just wearing pantyhose) almost from the start of the relationship and happily accepts and encourages this part of me.
Why did these two women react so differently? Simply put, my ex-wife CAUGHT me wearing her pantyhose six months into our marriage, whereas I TOLD my current girlfriend within a couple months into our courtship.
The average girl prefers male characteristics in her partner.
Putting on a dress and putting on makeup are certainly not among such.
I don't know what qualities one would have to have in order to win the competition with another man who doesn't create potential problems with his gender identification.
There is no need to fool yourself, as an apparent cross-dresser your chances for a new relationship are statistically speaking - small.
However, they are not zero, as evidenced by some posts on the forum.
Try to put yourself in the opposite role.
What choice would you make yourself:
a pretty girl who likes to put on dresses, take care of herself
or the other:
preferring a masculine style, short hair, rather pants and loose blazers?
Based on my personal track record... Immediately attracted, the pretty one. Grow to like and maybe love, toss a coin. Then, if the masculine-dressing one is cool with crossdressers, the choice is clear. Who knows? Maybe she's the ever-elusive to F-M crossdresser.
Last edited by Lisa Gerrie; 09-26-2023 at 03:38 AM.
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
I am going to wing it here as I have no experience dating while also being a crossdresser. But, when you consider how many men and women there are that enjoy different aspects of the human experience, I cannot believe cross dressing would preclude finding yourself in a deeply committed and loving relationship with a woman. Some women are bi, some are into BDSM, some are into 1,000 different things. The only issue really is if you find someone you truly love and don't feel you can go thru life without, will she be accepting. That's why it would be important not to let the relationship get to that point before jumping out of the closet. Once you're out of the closet, if she happily hangs around you will then at least be able to see how the relationship develops (or dies a slow death). And be sure, if the relationship dies it may have nothing whatsoever to do with your cross dressing.
It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.
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