being told to crossdress

[jacques]

Hello all,
I remember when I came out to my wife about liking to wear women's clothing, for some reason I was embarrassed about it. My wife had no problem at all with it, but I did. And for some reason the embarrassment got worse for a while. I needed to crossdress but was scared to do it. So we came up with a system that I would leave a sign in the bedroom (her jewelry box lid was open) and then she would tell me to dress up. All stupid, I know, but it seemed to take the decision-making and shame away for me.
I was wondering if any other Group members used similar tactics?
I don't do that now, by the way, and my wife is still OK with my choice of clothing.
luv J

[JulieC]

To this day, I don't always feel all that comfortable getting dressed en femme in front of my wife (who is very accepting). Once I'm dressed, I'm usually fine. If she asked me to crossdress, I would probably feel a lot better about getting dressed in front of her.

[NjJamie]

Jacques, your method of communicating on when it's OK to dress is awesome! So many of us only dream of our wife asking for it, I know I've been trying my best to find a similar system though it will always be me starting the ball rolling.

Julie, same here, I am uncomfortable while "in transition", avoiding mirrors to the max extent possible and only taking a good look when I'm 100%, hopefully this Friday!

[April Rose]

Forced cross dressing seems to be a universal theme in trans fiction. I think it is because so many of us have wasted so much of our time and lives in shame, trying to resist doing what we ultimately know we really want to do. It takes away the responsibility of acknowledging who we really are.

[Stephanie47]

Sure, many have fantasies concerning "forced" cross-dressing, but I think Jacques method is nothing more than non-verbal communication. It's a way to communicate a need and get a response. As a man with a non-accepting wife I would love it if she communicated in some manner that it was alright to be en femme. From years of reading on this site the most frequent tip a wife seems to give is "Honey, I am going out for the afternoon. I'll give you a call when I am on the way home." My wife use to do that pre-covid when she use public transportation. She tell me what time the bus was going to stop near our home. However, it still left out any presentation in front of her. Jacques you're darn lucky.

[Veronica Lacey]

Funny that I was pondering just such a predicament not long ago. Was wondering how I would respond should my wife ever choose to say "Sure, go ahead and wear what you want when you want and I'll be ok with it forever more." I imagined feeling quite awkward for who knows how long and wondered if I would ever simply feel normal and calm in her presence without second guessing what she was really thinking or feeling about it all.

Perhaps some of us need that physical signal that it's ok to do what was agreed and accepted.

[Heather76]

I doubt my wife would ever suggest I CD. However, early on she did say this is my house and I can CD in it whenever I want. Her only request has been no wig and no makeup in front of her. I honor that request. After she goes to bed at night, on goes the wig, lipstick, and occasionally press-on nails. If she gets out of bed and comes to the family room, she will see me like this; but, that is rather rare. Nonetheless, I don't feel badly about being "caught" as she knows exactly what I do each night after she goes to bed. It's my alone time as Heather rather than my time as her weird husband wearing a dress, bra, panties, forms and nylons. I normally get partially dressed between 7 pm and 8 pm. She retires to the bedroom at 11 pm. Heather gets her alone time from then until 1 - am when the wig and lipstick come off and the dress if exchanged for a nightie.

[JesseVF]

I consider myself very lucky in that my wife as said dress however you want in the house. I dress pretty much every evening miad (with forms) but still find it difficult to feel at ease. Tonight after a week of non cd due to being away with family on vacation I went even further with wig and a bit of makeup. I warned her with a text before she arrived home. She made no comment except to ask did I feel good dressing up. Hoping this is a sign of furthering acceptance as my dream is to be more out in the world with or without her.

[Debbie Denier]

I wouldn?t need to be told or asked twice. Never going to happen to me in reality.

[NancySue]

My supportive wife doesn?t tell me to dress, but when she senses some anxiety, tension, or fatigue, will suggest dressing, especially my favorites, hose, bra, panties, slip, knowing the calming effect they have. Love it.

[kimdl93]

I had to think about this before responding. There was a time when I would have loved if my (ex) wife had coaxed me into cross dressing. I think at the time, I felt I needed and wanted her permission to crossdress. The time came when I no longer felt that I needed permission, but I still would have appreciated if she had been able to support me without her suffering stress associated with having a transgender partner. The stress continued even when I took an 18 month break from dressing around her.

[CDMargret]

My wife is ever so accepting and totally involved with all my crazy antics. I do enjoy it when she tells me to go up stairs and put my outfits on. Such a sexy rush. Never have I felt odd or such when dressing in front of her but we started together on dressing. I have always just been bold in my choices.

Not long after our marriage she was complaining of how tight her one piece swimsuit is. I said it stretches?soon I was in it and we shared great passion together. Long journey from her suit to now a full wardrobe. She is the best.

[Karren H]

I wouldn?t need to be told or asked twice. Never going to happen to me in reality.

Same here!

[Melindatv61]

My supportive wife doesn?t tell me to dress, but when she senses some anxiety, tension, or fatigue, will suggest dressing, especially my favorites, hose, bra, panties, slip, knowing the calming effect they have. Love it.

Same here Nancy Sue she seems to sense the pink fog is there or I'm becoming anxious. She has suggested a few times I go and dress to relax ,it's wonderful when that happens .

[alwayshave]

My wife is completely encouraging of my CDing, but has never told me to dress.

[AmyJordan]

Hi I am rarely in male clothing only when going out, once home if I haven't changed within a few minutes my wife will ask why and tell me to go and dress appropriately which I know means head to toe. Sometimes she will tell me a specific outfit she wants me to wear otherwise I know what makes her happy and it's not trousers.

[Suzie Petersen]

Never had my wife encouage my desire to dress up, but it certainly would be a dream.
In the early days she would make time for me, and would even buy me little presents like clothes or makeup, but that has changed over the years.
What was once maybe a tolerance from her has changed to what can best be described as utter discust of the very thought of crossdressing.
Except of course, she is very open and accepting of other peoples needs, just not IMBY.

- Suz

[DianeT]

So with this lid up signal, you are basically telling your wife to tell you to dress. Interesting.

[Jillcder]

My goodness Amy I love your wife!

[prw230]

the closest my wife comes to asking me to dress is telling me she wants the maid to come a particular day. She usually plan this a few days in advance.

[Tip or Ozma]

I have a very supportive wife, but sometimes, not knowing her exact mood I do feel a little anxious. I have also learned to be more direct about how she is currently feeling about my dressing.

[Bluesman]

I would love it if my wife told me to or suggested that I get dressed. She actually did, one time quite a while ago, and that was very exciting, but hasn't since. As you can see from my recent post, we've come a long way in terms of acceptance, if not support. I've thought about asking her to tell me to get dressed, and she would probably reluctantly do so, but it still wouldn't be the same as being her real idea or desire.

[BLUE ORCHID]

That is a very interesting story, Thanks for sharing,

[CDMargret]

Wifey is so accepting and I have never felt awkward when dressed around her. But on occasion she has said go get dressed. Usually to have me do something like vacuuming for her. Things I help with any how but dressed up is more funner?lol

[Freddi]

My wife will sometimes ask me if I plan on getting "changed" but never tells me.......we don't have a tell each other what to do type relationship....mostly its my decision but I always ask if she minds when I fancy getting changed and if she has a preference on what I wear. It's about mutual respect for each others feelings.