What is it about the calming effect

[Rhonda Jean]

Steffi, I had this discussion with my therapist a while back. I was working a very stressful job and definitely found dressing calming and relaxing. I could only dress once every week or two. One of her observations was that NOT dressing might actually be adding to my stress levels. Dressing was my way to "balance out" my desires to express my needs as "Claire" against the demands of the rest of my life.

I agree. Sometimes I'm unaware if it. When I was married and our first child came along I tried to "man up" and quit wearing panties, among other things. One day my wife told me "You just need to go back to wearing panties." I didn't know I was acting any different, but she noticed. Years later when I was doing my couple of days out per month thing, she would sometimes be the one to bring it up. "You need to go do your girl thing." Didn't get much argument from me, even if it'd only been a couple of weeks. I was unaware that the stress, or whatever it was, was showing at all.

I don't know how much of it was that I needed "needed" to "be" something and how much was that I just got to do something that I really enjoyed for a little while. I think we often confuse want with need, and I was not above that.

[Sabine Janus]

I wonder if some of the calming effect is the tightness of some of the clothing. We see hyperactive/autistic persons calmed by weighted blankets etc. Even if the over dressing is loose, the undergarments are often tight/shaping.

SJ

[EmilyShy]

I think the calming effect for me is the fact that when I'm in drab I'm at everyone's beckon call, but the time alone I get to be Emily I'm just that. I can't do anything that involves my daily life routine I get just to be an alternate me for a while. Bit like being on a deserted island. Nothing else to do but relax and soak it up.

[Camille58]

It was the sense of calm that surprised me when I stumbled into crossdressing. I just didn't see that coming. Now that I have had a little time to try to figure it out, really think that the calming effects are the result of feeling complete. I identify as a man, and have no problem with that. I built a career in the trades navigating a male dominated culture.But there was always a tension in me. I always felt more comfortable in a room full of women than of a room full of guys. While I enjoyed most of the traditional male activities, I also enjoyed many of the traditional female activities and interests. I think that there is a strong female side of me that crossdressing helps me express. And by doing so, I sooth that tension. I have identified a side of me that I didn't quite appreciate. And the more I discover about that side, the more I love her!

[Maria 60]

Sometimes when my wife what's to have a intense conversation she will ask me to get dressed because she says I'm calmer when I'm dressed. A few years back I was going through some family issues and I was dressing more then usual. My wife's theory was I was trying to escape my male self.

[Bea_]

I do feel more calm and at peace with a more feminine presentation, even though i don't present as "female'. For me, my feminine wardrobe represents a core part of my overall sense of self. It doesn't overtake my masculinity but I feel like it completes that sense of being masculine.

[BLUE ORCHID]

It Works for me,

[Johnjo]

It is very very calming. For me the mere act of dressing for a few hours does more to relieve stress than anything else. Heaven knows why.

[Christina89]

I've always found peace when I let Christina. She's more claiming than male me since I lead a stressful life with the work I do.

[sometimes_miss]

The 'calming effect' is simply our minds being able to resolve the gender identity dysphoria, by adopting feminine attire and behaviors which help our minds make us subconsciously think that we are female. Doesn't mean we are, just that for whatever reason, the need to feel that, needs to be addressed. It's like, oh, an itch that needs to be scratched. You feel better after taking care of that feeling. THEN you can feel more relaxed.
I feel normal when dressed as a girl, and oddly not quite right when dressed as a guy. I resolve my 'dressing like a guy' time, by pretending that it's my 'man uniform' that I have to wear to 'go to work' at whatever tasks I have to do where dressing as a man simply makes it easier to 'do the job'. Much like a deep sea diver needs to wear a special uniform to do his job, I 'need' to wear my 'man uniform' to go out in public, to go to work, work on the car, paint the house, meet relatives and friends, etc..
'Man' uniforms. It's what we need, to get the jobs done. Then we can come home, and get into the pretty (girl) clothes that we're supposed to be wearing!

[StacyG]

I get excited when I get a chance to have the house to myself for a few hours and I can relax around the house in something comfy and pretty or walk around the back yard and feel the fabric move against my legs. I sleep in night gown or night shirt every night and I always look forward to bed. I think the most relaxed I have been in ages was a few weeks ago I went to Surfside Beach here in TX. It's about 20 miles long and there are areas with no homes or lights. I wore my favorite black long satin dress and sat on the tailgate of my truck by the surf for a few hours and even walked out into the water up to my waist. It was so peaceful.
In psychological terms from another program I am in. I do what I do to change the way I feel.