I am sorry for old question but now is 20 year of my CD time, I find out that I don't have clear reason for it, most of the time I CD, I fap fap fap (sorry again), but sometime I don't feel it's really because of fapping, sometime I want to turn myself into a perfectly beautiful woman with a clean, brilliant clothers, but for what? why? let us discuss about that odd reason of CDing
do you like my breas!t?
I can only talk for myself. I think I do CD because the woman that lives hidden deep in my brain needs that.
I was born and educated as a boy, but I think I am feminized deeply inside. It took decades for her to get upto the surface and makes me aware of that.
In fact, I don't want to be a perfectly beautiful woman but according to my age a mature lady with a curvy body.
This is part of my fancy and desire and I am not going to transform my body.
I think we do because it is part of our DNA. I believe we were all born with this.
Crissy
Originally Posted by Sabine7
you are right, sometime I online and reg a female account (facebook) and act, talk and even THINK as a woman
do you like my breas!t?
Based in part on the variety of personalities that I've met in this forum, I'm sure there's no single reason.
Personally, I think of transgenderism as a spectrum that goes from people who have experimented with crossdressing on one end, to full-SRS transwomen on the other. I feel like I'm lucky to have been born low enough on the spectrum that frequent crossdressing is all I need or want. It satisfies me, and has for 50+ years.
"Don't hate me just for wanting to feel beautiful."
There doesn't seem to be one single reason. From what I can tell it ranges from something sexual to loving the clothes and the look of a women to almost transgender type feelings. For me I've always had a relatability with girls since I've been young but I'm mostly fine with being a man in everyday life. I'm Becky as an expression of my inner femininity.
For me the roots of it I think stem from my curiosity about women at a young age... didn't really have a girlfriend until maybe about 16 yo... when I was 14 I "borrowed" a pair of panties from a friend's sister for at the time an unknown reason, other than I was turned on by it. Then when I was 17, a girlfriend gave me a pair of thermal underwear one time... which drove me wild, just because they were hers. In college after a bad breakup, I discovered my GF had left behind a pair of VS satin underwear, and I wore those for a while (for fact of missing her, and because it felt great.) In particular, this GF and I would cuddle at night while sleeping, and I loved her more than anything. I was devastated when we broke up, but I think I had become addicted to the closeness we shared at night. Fast fwd to marriage... tried on a thing or two in the beginning, but it all started when she accidentally left a pair of satin (again with the satin LOL) panties in my drawer... rekindled the interest. Plenty of business travel gave me chances to try pantyhose and panties from VS stores in the towns I visited. Now, my wife is not much for cuddling during sleep (something I crave to this day), so when I discovered bras and the "constant hug" from them, and then breast forms and the added weight and feeling from them... it snowballed HEAVILY at that point. It was about three years later that I finally caved and told my wife about the dressing and what not. That was 14 years ago. So while the underlying curiosity has been there since an early teen, I don't think it was until I discovered that dressing replaced something I missed that I went into the deep end with it. Probably a lot more to unpack here, but this is the best explanation I've been able to come up with. It feels good and it makes ME feel better.
Kelly a.k.a. VS Fan
Because it's me. In my DNA, my soul and heart. It's just part of who I am. Makes me happy, calm, and comfortable. It's fun, sexy and risky. I love the selections of clothing and fabrics. Just so many reasons and not one not to dress.
Because its the most beautiful amazing feeling that god could ever had given to me, I love the way it feels, I love makeup, I love shopping dressed there is no other thrill like it on this planet earth. Hearing my heels click around the Mall, the feeling of the wind blowing up my dress, the swishes and the noise of female clothes. Strutting out at night to the pubs and meeting friends, what more can I say, its soooooo me.
Debs
In my case I started under dressing in bikini panties about 20 years ago. I can't really come up with a reason why I bought them. I had gone down to Denver from Bozeman, Mt, with a friend, to pick up a Jeep that my wife left at a Jeep dealership to be worked on. My wife and I had gone down to Denver the week before to pick up a car she bought through eBay. As we started home I noticed the Jeep was overheating, so we stopped at a Jeep dealership to have them work on it. They said it would be a couple days, so my wife and I headed home.
It was a 10 hour drive between Bozeman and Denver so the friend and I stopped at a motel in Casper, Wy for the night, staying in separate rooms. While at the motel I had a thought about wearing women's panties. So went to a nearby Walmart and bought a package of bikini panties. Got back to my room and opened the package and put on a pair. They felt just so wonderful! So for the next 20 years I would buy, wear and then purge panties. I don't think my wife ever knew but I'm not 100% certain.
The tail end of Mar last year my wife had an accident and broke her right leg. She had it operated on and between two hospitals, the one in OKC that did the surgery and one out here in Clinton, she was in the hospital for about three weeks. She came home the end of Apr and I had a hospital bed in the living room for her. One day in the middle of May we were talking and out of the clear blue she said "I'll be dead in six weeks", which scared the hell out of me. She passed away from pneumonia on July 5th.
Before her accident I had purged my latest bunch of panties. The beginning of Sep I decided to go to Walmart and buy myself some more panties. On the way over I had a thought pop into my head, "I wonder what I would look like in a dress". I had no idea where that thought came from but it was followed up by, "transforming Dean into Diane". Again no idea where that thought came from. At Walmart bought myself several packages of bikini panties and found a couple dresses I liked. Needless to say it has exploded from there. My female wardrobe has pushed my male wardrobe out of the bedroom closet and into another room.
In the long run all I can say is that it feels so right, normal and natural to me to be wearing women's clothes. I think I'd have to agree with Sabine that there is a woman deep in my head, Diane, and she finally had the chance to express herself. I am Diane and Diane is me.
I apologize for this being so long. This is the first time I've gone into detail, online, about my wife passing away last year.
The Pink Fog will be with you, always!
That's a loaded question Marihanne. First I would say I'm not even sure I am a CD. I say this because I've never gone out in public as a CD and only CD in the privacy of my own home and it's always lingerie (nightgowns) although I think that if I new how to be a convincing female I would venture out as one.
To answer the WHY is more complicated. I know it gives me a sense of calm and gives me peace within. It's also the sensualness of feeling the material on my body. With regard to the peace it brings me its a mental peace. Without going into details there were traumatic things that occured to me when I was a teen which went on for years. I've questioned my sexuality ever since. I've had a fondness for women's "underthings" since I was a young teen and never grew out of it. My interests are mainly more female oriented and I'm more comfortable conversing with females. In general I'd say I have more feminine traits and just sense I'm more a female.
I've said quite a bit so I'll leave it at that. Have a great day ladies.
Like most others here, I've given this a lot of thought but unlike others I haven't really got a real grasp why I crossdress.
It started with me looking at Christmas catalogs when I was little and stumbled upon the lingerie section.
As I reached puberty, I didn't have access to male adult magazines, so I would look at old catalogs of women wearing lingerie to enjoy myself. Then I wondered what the lingerie would feel like against my body, which turned me on quicker than just looking at pictures.
Now I am more comfortable wearing women's clothing around the house and no longer get turned on by it. I will admit that when the wife and I were on vacation and she suggested that I dress as a woman while traveling it was exciting, but after a while I just back to being comfortable again while driving. Hower the excitement came back when she suggested that we go into a convivence store to get some drinks, but after a couple of minutes the excitement disappeared and it was just the 2 of us getting something to drink.
So why do I crossdress, I am not sure why I enjoy it so much other than fact it I feel more comfortable wearing women's clothing.
To me it has to be something hard wired in my brain that eventually compelled me around 5 yo to put on my mothers bra and stuff it with whatever materials I could find. Just felt like it gave me the correct body shape. Having breasts/bras was my main focus (never had a piece of other fem clothing) until two years ago when had the talk. Then with the newfound freedom been expanding to a relatively small wardrobe/wig/now starting makeup- and have been slowly venturing out more and more. No intention to trans but also not sure where this expansion of behaviors will stop- kind of nerve wracking.
Because it just feels right.
When I dress up and go out as a woman, many would say that I'm masquerading as a woman. Our society has groomed me to all my life to dress like a man. However, when dressed as that way, I feel more like I'm masquerading as a man.
I feel more comfortable with a group of women, and feel out of place in a group of men. I've been that way since kindergarten when the teacher extract me from teh girls'' play area and force me to go over with the boys.
It just feels right, and it always has.
-peace
-Gracie
There's a theory, or postulate (that I read in the book "Becoming Nicole") that it's not DNA, but it is physiological.
Fetus has XY genes and starts to develop male gonads (parts) in the first trimester. In the second trimester, the brain begins developing. For some reason, there is more estrogen in the amniotic sac in the second semester "than normal". This additional estrogen "feminizes" the structure of the brain. Since the gonads are already formed, they continue to develop as male parts. But a person with a feminized brain and male parts is born transgender.
I know this doesn't describe all of us, but it is an intriguing theory that may apply to those who knew they were different early. I would guess that there are some environmental factors, like socialization of parental acceptance that may make it easier or more difficult for the femme side to come out.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
O don't have a deep reason. I just do it to make me feel better at times. I will admit that wearing women's clothes does feel natural.
Do not really know, do not really care anymore. Knowing won't change anything for me going forward or explain the past. It is what it is and it is not going away.
Last edited by Karren H; 10-10-2023 at 10:15 PM.
Karren - great point - I was glad to be able to pinpoint the origins of this for me, but tbh, that was more for the therapist than myself. I figure I am what I am... and it's not going to change, so might as well deal with it and enjoy it
Kelly a.k.a. VS Fan
CDing, It is just who I am , And it's Just what I Do, And I totally Enjoy being a Pretty Lady,
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
U can read my reply then forget about it, Marihanne, I'm one of kind. Altho it's taken me decades to figure out that when I began dressing in my 50's, I am simply a man with no woman inside to please or appease.
As to why? I expect because at my age, 80, it's the most exciting, challenging, and fun social "hobby" that I can still passionately enjoy! Like I should give up Sherry for golf or model trains!?
I would compare becoming Sherry to a drug or alcohol addiction. But, with more of a high and without the hangovers and early death side effects!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I have always had the desire to dress up. I've been dressing up regularly for three years, managing to blend in, so I got rid of my inhibitions and do it in public without drawing anyone's attention.
I have also tried to guess the reason for this inclination, primarily expecting that I have a female alter ego stuck in me.
I went so far as to spend two months in female disguise, with short breaks on 7/24.
After that I know 100% that I don't want to be a woman, nor does any Betty live in me.
My satisfaction with cross-dressing is of a fetishistic nature: when I was young something caused me to transfer my interest in women to their things as well.
Judging by the content of posts on the forum, posted photos - I suppose this applies to most of the people here, although certainly also - not all.
As previously stated, we/I are part of the spectrum. I am not just a CD though but my sexuality is affected and then finally transgender bouts manifests. Sometimes Steffie possibly might have something as to the root cause...
https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...You-Crossdress
Last edited by mbmeen12; 10-11-2023 at 02:34 AM. Reason: Multiple links to research
Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.
I have no real idea but I do know that's it's fun. Suspenders and stockings are a fetish on cis women as are the rest of sexy things women get to wear. And when I say sexy that is in each and everyone's opinion. I love skirts and dresses, make up high heels and I suppose all the other things few women of today seem to wear (normal everyday attire) Me wearing today is just an extension of that. I admit im a young starter like most CD and was always fascinated by underwear, only dabbled very occasionally most of my life annd it was only lingerie not clothes until 4 years ago then I started a lot more. Maybe it's because I don't see these things any more (or my SO not wearing them) but it fulfills a void. I also love the taboo aspect, although I'd like to be able to go out without prejudice I also do not want it to main streem either. I don't do it for sexual gratification but I will be honest and say it is very sexual and sensual. I also feel free and happy when dressed or may be that's just an adrenaline shot lol I only fully dress about 4 times a year. Underdress each week.
Or maybe I'm now the wrong side of 50 like Sherry and I just want to have fun and be different. All I know is I love doing it and can't wait for the next opportunity to dress.
mbmeen,
Thanks for highlighting Sometimes Steffie post, I had only been on here a couple of months when she wrote it. It was good then and excellent now.
We are blessed with both of yours info and excellent feed back on various topics...
Thanks,
Davina
It's a question asked so many times and I'm at a loss to really know why. What I do now know is that is has become as much part of me as any other facet of my personality. I know I find it pleasing when looking in the mirror and see a reasonable facsimile of a female looking back at me. I know I feel more comfortable in female clothes. I know I'm comfortable when displaying female traits and mannerisms and engaging with other as my female self.
What first drew me to start this journey I really can't say. I know it started at an early age, way before puberty so not driven by raging hormones, it's just always been there and as life's progressed I've become ever more comfortable with this aspect of myself. So I guess I'm at the stage where it is what it is and I'll go with the flow.
Erm can I ask, I'm not familiar with the description "most of the time I CD, I fap fap fap". So what's fap?
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
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