The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?

[Claire M]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? All the time. I used to wonder how I could make it stop. Now I just wonder why it gives me such joy.

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? I think so. I was the youngest of 5 with three older brothers, then my sister who was closer to my age. When dad and the boys went off to do "guy" stuff I was usually relegated to hanging with my sister because I was too young. I also heard quite frequently my parents tell the story that I was supposed to have been born a girl ... to the point the had no boys names even considered when I was born so I was "Baby M" for almost a week.

I will admit that I was that boy in the drab underwear who noticed a pair of my sister's panties on the bathroom floor. I still remember vividly seeing the color and print of the fabric and feeling the texture of the fabric and being almost overcome ... I HAD to know what it was like to wear them, even if I might get in trouble for doing so. I HAD to know. It was amazing and empowering. A few weeks later I HAD to know what wearing her bra felt like. Then pantihose, the a dress, then lipstick, then ....

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? Twice. The first time was back in the early 90s and my wife had discovered my secret. I told her I would "get help". I went in wanting to be "cured" so I would never need to do this wierd and disgusting thing. He told me it was "just the way I was wired" and there was no "cure". I was positive this guy was a quack and never went back.

About 10 years ago I was in a very stressful work situation and found great calming when I dressed. I had learned a lot more about crossdressing since my first go round and was no wondering if going farther into transitioning was for me. We had some amazing discussions about my dressing, my gender and my life in general. I was able to find a calm satisfaction in just dressing and expressing my feelings as I needed to.

[KymG]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Yes, all the time, without ever coming to a conclusion. Apart from the fact that it feels fantastic.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
No, but i recall i guy at school, who wore a dress for a play or something, and i remember being terrified for a long time that it might happen to me. Rather than just saying no, im not doing that.
Always wondered what i was scared of.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
No not yet, but im close to doing so.

[BLUE ORCHID]

It's Just Who I Am, And it's just what I love to do, >Orchid**00**

[Erin Lafleur]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Yes, often. But I really don't dwell on the question. I do know that I really enjoy it and I'm now at the stage of life (empty nester etc.) where I feel that I'm catching up for so much lost time and feeling wonderfully free to explore my feminine side. I really couldn't feel more genuine than I do now...

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
Yes, most definitely. As I've mentioned often, my first foray into cross dressing was at a very young age (5-6 years old), where I first tried on Mom's panties, slips etc. I knew then, at a very early age, that it felt really good and lo and behold, nothing has changed in six decades since. Except for the fact that I have now spent a small fortune on clothes, make-up, wigs etc and intend to live out my life indulging in a past time that is incredibly pleasing to me.


Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
Nope, and I never will. I'm OK with it. To me, it would be like seeing a therapist to understand why I enjoy model railroads, (if that was the case, it isn't... no offence to those that do of course). I really don't understand why the gender question enters into it and why that is perhaps worthy of therapy. I simply enjoy it. No explanations or justifications necessary...

[DianeT]

As a child I found superhero costumes much more interesting than princess dresses, I craved for some Superman's mojo like flying up to the skies.
Then I discovered superheroines in superheroine costumes. Ok. Wow. Different kind of mojo. This is about when it started.

[Johnjo]

After almost 60 years cross dressing it remains something of a mystery to me. We are all different and that?s just fine - I finally have made peace with it and feel happy in my own skin.

[Christina89]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
I used to wonder why it happened when I was younger, but as I got older I realized it's who I was and accepted it.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
Yes I did. My mother was a single and a family moved in across the street from us and we all connected well. They also had 2 daughters and before back we would all go shopping together and I saw the styles of clothing they got wear and I used to get jealous and would sometimes ask if I could get those instead of the boy clothes and was told no because they were for girls and not boys.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
No I haven't, but I have looked into possibly doing it.

[Bea_]

[B]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?

Why? - I've always had a somewhat feminine aesthetic which only extended to the things i like to wear within the last fifteen or so years

Influence? - I went through adolescence in the late sixties and early seventies when things became much more androgynous than they are these days. My mom and sister never wore anything that appealed to my taste so I never really had any temptation to experiment back then.

Therapy? - Yes. For me, therapy has been a way to consolidate a sense of identity which includes my feminine aesthetic with the goal to move past the tension that exists between me and the "real world". It's been partially successful so far.

[jacques]

hello Marieclaire,
Sorry, but I am a little concerned about you dividing crossdressing into "healthy" and "unhealthy".
I hope that we don't judge members of this Group in that way.
luv J

[marieclaire]

hello Marieclaire,
Sorry, but I am a little concerned about you dividing crossdressing into "healthy" and "unhealthy".
I hope that we don't judge members of this Group in that way.
luv J

Don't worry: What I mean is that EVERYTHING in life can be healthy or not. Depends on the context.
Some healthy things may cease to be healthy if consumed excessively or inappropriately, for example.

[Geena75]

As a child in a very traditional home in a small rural setting, anything that would be construed as 'sexual' was suppressed. Still, a TV diet of things like the June Taylor dancers on Jackie Gleason, or women's figure skaters caught my fascination. I was so attracted to their look -- and legs. Then, the occasional person in drag would pop up (sometimes very convincing), and my curiosity took on another dimension -- could I look good? After decades of partial dressing and under-dressing I discovered the forum and realized that my feelings were shared by many others, and I found ways to dress more until I finally went all the way with makeup and wig, etc. and stepped out in public. Having done so, I satisfied so much of my curiosity -- questions of how I could look, and what it would feel like were answered.

What now? I came to the conclusion that what appeals to me is that it is interesting (so much to learn and try), exciting (stepping out as a different person), and fun (dropping so many inhibitions). As long as I find it interesting, exciting, and fun, I will keep doing it, if on a occasional basis.

[DrFishnets]

I dress like a woman because I have anxiety and panic disorder and the feel of women?s clothes especially nylons and pantyhose make me feel grounded. There is no other feeling that is so sensual and sexy as tight nylon of stockings and tights/pantyhose around the feet legs and bottom. I also dress because it makes me feel sexy and happy.

[Monique65]

I gave up trying to figure out why years ago. Now I just enjoy the experience.

[Lacey New]

For me , it was an addicting behavior. I was attracted to girls and what they wore particularly the lingerie that hid the secrets of their bodies. So, the first time I put on a pair of panties, it was an instant rush. You know what happened. And because it was so exciting, I would go back for more. Afterward, I would feel guilty and ashamed and vowed not to do it again. I wondered if it meant I was gay even though the idea of sex with a male was not appealing. But after awhile, the urge would come back and I?d go back to the panties. Eventually, out on my own I amassed my own collection of lingerie. Like potato chips, you cannot eat just one, so, if panties were good, they were better with a bra and other lingerie as well. I never had any kind of tharapy and I just eventually learned that it is part of who I am. Thankfully, due to as much research as I could do and sites like this, I learned that I am simply a cross dresser among many. Perhaps not quite normal by some standards, but certainly not unusual either.

[AllieBellema]

I have no explanation for it other than I just enjoy the chance to break away from my reality to be something I'm not full time as. No better way for me to explain it, I guess.

[jacques]

Don't worry: What I mean is that EVERYTHING in life can be healthy or not. Depends on the context.
Some healthy things may cease to be healthy if consumed excessively or inappropriately, for example.

Hello Marieclaire,
OK. I understand. Cream cakes are nice. Too many cream cakes are sickly.
luv J

[sometimes_miss]

I don't want to fill up the forum with duplicate posts, so my answer to this thread, can be found in the other 'why do we CD' thread, here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...3004-Why-we-CD
at post #49.
Hopefully, it will help answer your question. As always, feel free to PM me with any questions.

[mbmeen12]

Well stated sometimes_miss. My initial post, I did do the research on this question and found numerous iderations but decided to answer politely stated " great question" and it is. To even look at ones profile to see previous questions posed to the forum. How often folks are on the site etc. I'm also super leary of data collected for gender studies and health privacy act questions for gender studies etc etc.

I propose this, if someone asks similar asked questions. They should do the research and post statistics from previous posts closed of years past and then see how it trends over the years/decades. That would be really be an awesome post. Just saying �� Ball is your court Miss Claire on your question challenge....

[audreyinalbany]

What is a mu question?
In Japanese and Korean “mu” means, “nothing,” “without,” “not,” “impossible,” “non-existent.” We answer, “mu” when a question does not have an answer. Or makes us answer in a way that is not true, not possible
It leaves the question in void and it is up for the questioner to reflect upon themselves.

[Cheryl T]

I used to spend a lot of time analyzing this.
I don't anymore, I have accepted myself. This is who I am, who I am supposed to be and who I will always be.
As the signature says.... I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes.
I feel more real, more comfortable, more natural the way you all see me. This is me.

[JackieD]

I remember my first time in panties.. You know it wrong . If someone finds out you will be the laughing stock of the neighborhood. BUT you just could not stop yourselve. Just so excited to be wearing them. Had to and keep them on for the rest of the day. You somehow knew you were hooked. Taking my wife?s old panties. Latter on getting my own. Love Jockey no pantie line panties.

[jjjjohanne]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Of course.

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
There was a boy in my neighborhood. His swing set had spots on it. We would press the spots like they were buttons. It would make us sing. Sometimes we used to sing about poop. Sometimes we would sing about pantyhose. I don't remember any other topics. I don't know which of us started the pantyhose thing. I never had any attraction to poop, but I did eventually try on silky ladies' things. Years later, his brother told me that my friend was caught wearing a pair of pantyhose. I really have doubts whether all 100% of people are "born this way". I wonder if lots of people are this way or that way based on one or more experiences in their childhood. The first time I can remember trying on women's clothes was when I was wearing a pair of thigh-high stockings when I was very little (3-4). I'm pretty sure they were around my ankles the whole time. The next memory was when I put a pair of Barbie's red panties on my big toe. I remember feeling good about getting to do that.

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
I went through a bout of anxiety about work. It messed me up. It was hard to go to work. It was hard to face life for a while. My doctor sent me to a counselor. I decided to admit right away to my counselor that I was a crossdresser. Eventually, I started going to our sessions in a dress. We discussed it some. She never tried to change that part of me. For the most part, she trained me to detect when I am starting to become anxious. I learned to watch for certain phrases, such as "I don't want to let you down." That's my sign that I am worrying. Then, she taught me some techniques to work my way out of anxiety if I get into a spell of anxiety. She was a big help. I recommend it.

[MarinaTwelve200]

It started as an erotic aid to masturbation for me. I noticed that some feminine things like makeup, nylon hose, etc. somehow "excited" me as early as 8 years old. I was 12 when I first tried Mom's lipstick (when she was away , of course). by age 14 I was dressing fully, when left alone with enough time. I began to realize that cross dressing had OTHER pleasures than me simply "getting off" on it. One, in particular was that I could completely disassociate myself from "Me".--- That is it permitted me to "take a vacation from myself" and become a completely "different person" where even my gender was different. This let me release "stress" totally--- Those associated with my OWN concerns and those associated with simply being a male as well. It was (and still is) the ULTIMATE form or "unwinding' and stress relief. Yes it STILL has an erotic element there, but the "relaxation" (and the great feeling of being pretty) is what kept me going.

I was initially concerned when I started, as to whether CD was "Gay" or not, for as we all know, all sorts of inaccurate stories and definitions were floating around back then (And still now , in many circles) But, being a "Book kid" I studied Psychology books on my own and discovered what "gay" (Homosexual) really meant, and it was NOT me. Neither was Transsexuality.--- A really big load of my mind, there. I had a fetish for women's clothing was all-- I could get excitement from it. NO big deal, really, I didn't go out in public and risk humiliation and didn't dress all that much anyways. Indeed, it reenforced my "masculine" confidence as CD's were defined as HETEROSEXUAL people who could get pleasure from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex.

[stefaniec]

It's a rather simple answer for me. As a man, I know what traits I find feminine and attractive. Seeing that those traits are less common lately, I adopted the persona myself. And there has been no shortage of compliments and flattery to indicate that other men share my outlook on what makes the female form attractive, regardless if there happens to be a male physique in the bra, nylons, and heels.

[Robin777]

To answer your questions

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes

I wondered when I first started dressing when I was 12 or 13 and I started getting attracted to women's lingerie and clothing It took me a couple of years to figure it out. Then I realized I felt that I was born the wrong gender.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes
Growing up having your mother say on multiple occasions that when I was born that I was supposed to be a girl. When I got older I started wanting to be a girl.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? No.

My simple answer for myself is that I dress like a woman because it satisfies a need in me to express my feminine side. I wanted to transition when I was younger, but that was 50 years ago and it wasn't accepted and understood at that time.