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Thread: The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?

  1. #1
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    The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?

    The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?


    You?ve probably considered seeking psychological help. ?I?m a man but I like feminine things. Why? Is this normal? Do I have to accept myself or ?cure? this??

    We tend to naturally like some things and dislike others. Environmental aspects can also develop preferences or strongly influence us ? like a trigger.

    In childhood, a boy who lives with his mother and sisters and does not have a father figure present may have a greater tendency to be attracted to the feminine side. For example: having more feminine behaviors or being more curious to try something of the opposite sex.

    Another boy might notice a stray pair of panties is more attractive?whether it?s the fabric or the pattern than his drab underwear. He may try on such panties and simply enjoy the experience. Another example is finding a princess dress to be much more attractive than a male superhero costume.

    Another boy may might be pushed into crossdressing out of his will?like an older sister who dresses him as a girl for fun or his mother who puts him in a dress for a costume party or other event. Once they have contact with this experience, they may come to enjoy doing it and feel the desire to repeat it.

    In adolescence, the process of growth and puberty, from hormones to the appearance of hair and breasts, enhances the difference between boys and girls.

    A boy who notices girls at school starting to wear bras might be curious and want to try one on.

    The boy tries on the bra and likes the feeling of wearing one. Perhaps, too, he feels a sexual stimulus ? remember that in adolescence hormones skyrocket.

    If he likes the experience, he will tend to repeat it. He will want to have his own bras and adopt them in his daily life.

    In adult life, a man who is not satisfied with his masculine personality ? such as having little muscle or not being successful with women ? may try to compensate for this in other ways.

    He will be able to develop a feminine personality by dressing like a woman.

    Aside from a possible sexual pleasure, he may enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie, a dress, makeup, and a wig. He can look in the mirror and feel that his female presentation is truer than his male self. This could raise his self-esteem and help to overcome his need to compensate for the frustration caused by the failures on the male side.

    If you are ? or are thinking of becoming ? an artist, you might develop an opposite-sex persona through crossdressing. If you like Womanless, you can become a reference in this segment. The internet can help you become an influencer through crossdressing: something that can be very productive, interesting, fun? and profitable.

    There is a downside to this bias: Unless you identify as a transgender person, your feminine side will never replace your masculine one. You can explore your feminine persona, but that doesn?t stop you from developing as a man. You will not be able to be a woman 24 hours a day, nor will you be able to escape your masculine obligations at home and at work. Balance is the secret.

    Many crossdressers reject the sexual component of this practice as others find sexual pleasure in crossdressing; it is essential to understand this. In some instances, you may develop a harmful compulsion, not having control over your desires, and even potentially expose yourself to dangerous situations. This could become unhealthy and require professional help.

    Another positive point is learning skills that may become useful. Learning more about women?s clothing can help you in a loving relationship. Situations such as choosing clothes as a gift for a girlfriend or learning about makeup could allow you to work as a makeup artist. Crossdressing can develop your empathy with the opposite sex: perhaps the time your wife takes to get ready is not as time-consuming as you once thought.

    Crossdressing can also combat stress: if you enjoy doing it, it can relax and give you pleasure ? I don?t mean sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of doing something you enjoy. It may even serve as an escape when practiced in a healthy way

    If you still don?t know why you like to dress as a woman, look for those elements in your life that could justify or support this preference. Therapy ? or even self-therapy and self-knowledge ? can be key.

    Some questions you can ask yourself: 1) Have I always liked women?s clothing? 2) I was influenced by the environment or other people. 3) Do I think women?s clothes are more beautiful than men?s? 4) Do I feel sexual pleasure when dressing like a woman? Only that? 5) Do I use crossdressing to compensate for social, physical, and other failures on my male side? 6) What have I learned, or can I learn from crossdressing? 7) Can I be successful by dressing like a woman? 8) Is my crossdressing healthy? 9) Do I feel shame, guilt, or remorse when I crossdress? 10) Did the lack of a male figure in childhood influence me?

    Having answers to these and other questions is essential for the healthy practice of crossdressing. Unhealthy crossdressing will lead to impulses, guilt, regrets, regrets, and other social, physical, emotional, and financial losses.

    ? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?

    ? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?

    ? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?

  2. #2
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    In answer to your questions....

    ? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? YES

    ? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? NO

    ? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? NO

    Yes, I have wondered why but I have no answers, I didn't start dressing until I was over 50. All I know is that I like the clothes. In general, I look like the guy I am supposed to look like to family & in public, even though my clothes are from the womens department. On my own, which is most of the time, I am dressed as a woman, and I feel weird when I have to leave my bra & forms off.

  3. #3
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Marie, the therapist I went asked, "Is your crossdressing causing u problems in your life?" At that time I wasn't all that involved in it so I answered, "No'. So she said, "Then, let's move on to your problems." End of discussion!

    If u r having problems caused by your dressing than an experienced therapist mite help u. If it's not causing problems, then much of your mullings could be u over thinking it?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    I have been through therapy. Although the purpose was not to diagnose why I was the way I was, the subject did come up.

    One thing to be cautious about is trying to infer some casual relationship between cross dressing and childhood recollection(s). First of all, all memories are reconstructions, and each memory evolves with each recollection. Secondly, any individual may see a connection between some recalled life experience and cross dressing. Even if there were some causal link, this might only apply to that individual case. For example, I grew up in a household that was mostly made up of males.

    human beings are inherently wired to see patterns. The value is that our ancestors might have perceive patterns that helped remember signs of prey or places of ambush, which foods were in season, which berries were not poisonous. But we also have the built in capacity to imagine spurious patterns, to see relationships and to believe deeply in the validity such spurious connections.

    I guess what I am cautioning against is what used to be called “arm chair empiricism”. Basically generating theory out of one’s speculations. Such theorizing may be interesting, but it is lacking in substance.

    A competent therapist will not attempt to discern “why” from your life experiences, but as Sherry said, they will seek to help you cope with any problems that your attitude or your partner’s attitude towards cross dressing might be contributing to (if any).
    Last edited by kimdl93; 10-16-2023 at 02:00 PM.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

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    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Interesting thread. Question answers:
    1. Why? I?ve been wondering that since youth. Pleasure, comfort, makeup, heels, etc.
    2. Childhood influence? Yes, definitely. It?s always been a question, initially, why was I so attracted to just nylon stockings that I just had to put them on? Why not a bra, panties, slip, which all came later. The pink fog? Genetics?
    3. Therapy? Not with a professional, but tons of reading, research, talking with my with, etc. one could say is my form of therapy. The dam broke when I and my beautiful wife accepted it as part of me.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Debs's Avatar
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    Wow Marieclaire thats a lot of deep thinking for me, can I not just enjoy my dressing as a woman without really having to interigate myself and destroy an amazing mystery that makes me feel so great.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    I really have no idea why I crossdress. But at this point in my life (retired, living full time as a woman) I really don't care. I am glad I dress as a woman and wouldn't have it any other way.
    "Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

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    Senior Member Diane P's Avatar
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    Marieclaire,

    To answer your questions

    ? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? NO

    ? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? NO

    ? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? NO

    My simple answer for myself is that I dress like a woman because it feels right, normal and natural. Read into that what you will.
    The Pink Fog will be with you, always!

  9. #9
    Member JesseVF's Avatar
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    1. Yes - totally surprised that anyone would answer no to this question - but that just demonstrates how this is a different experience for everyone.
    2. I have wondered about this as grew up in a female dominated childhood (very dominant mother, three older sisters, one older gay brother, introverted father) - although my therapist tells me this is not really a root cause regarding CD - not sure I totally agree.
    3. Yes - helpful in dealing with the usual (for some) shameful type feelings.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    1. Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Not really. I just know I thoroughly enjoy every minute I'm dressed and/or underdressed.

    2. Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? While I did wear my mom's bras and girdles on rare occasions for about 4 ears, I don't know if it was a major factor in why I CD now.

    3. Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? I'm not certain there is anything to find out about it. I CD, I'm happy with doing it, I'm fortunate my wife is understanding, I feel no guilt or shame, and am not at all conflicted with the fact I enjoy being Heather at every opportunity.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  11. #11
    Member BaliGirl's Avatar
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    For what is it worth - I've done a whole bunch of therapy in the past.

    I never talked about my crossdressing in therapy, because of shame and embarrassment. I know - I should have trusted my therapist with my "darkest secret". I just couldn't make that step.

    It took a couple of years after I restarted crossdressing before I could even write on a public board "I'm a crossdresser". Because for many years I told myself "I'm not one of those people". That's severe denial and judgement going on in my head.

    Fortunately, I found crossdressers.com, and I've accepted myself as a crossdresser. But to this day, I only talk about my crossdressing here, because people here are accepting.

    The only benefit I'd get now out of therapy would be to try to maybe get other people in my life to accept my crossdressing.

    Marieclaire, thanks for your post. It helps for me to think about and write about this stuff. It is currently my only outlet.

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    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Very interesting post and thought out....good luck in gathering information and finding assistance, secondly welcome to site.
    Last edited by mbmeen12; 10-17-2023 at 01:50 AM. Reason: Typo
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

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    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Do not really know why, do not really care why, anymore. Knowing would not have changed anything in my life to date or change anything going forward. So, I have plenty of other conundrums to contemplate before I leave, like why are underwires always on the bottom of a bra? And why no one has made an upper wire? Or a circular wire? Lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

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    Junior Member Sabine7's Avatar
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    Very interesting questions. I could't resist to answer them.
    1) Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes, I have wondered many times in the past and I am still doing that almost daily. Only the answers are different recently and I don't feel guilty any more.
    2) Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, it's highly possible. I do not also exclude a hormonal issue during the pre-natal period.
    3) Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? No. I haven't. I don't expect I would benefit of that. Especially, if someone would try healing me.
    Last edited by Sabine7; 10-17-2023 at 06:57 AM.

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    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    There is no definitive answer . I still to this day dont know why. Driven myself crazy wondering. Come to the point of paralysis by analysis.

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    There are two kinds of Trerapist,

    The one that tells you what you want to Hear,

    The one that tells your Wife what she wants to Hear,
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Admittedly, when younger I cared why I crossdressed. I thought if I knew why I could stop. I no longer care why, it's just part of who I am.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  18. #18
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Too many times to count.

    Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, my Mum was strong dynamic person, as well as a feminist, two much older sisters and a Dad who was a railroader, (gone for periods of time). An often used punishment was being dressed in panties, and/or other girls clothes.

    Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? Yes, it was later in life, as a mature adult. Neither of them made a big deal about CD'ing.

    1. Around age 10 I returned to start wearing lingerie on my own and enjoyed it. 2. It was from my early childhood that led me back to the clothes. 3. Women's clothes are nicer to wear than men's. 4. For many years sexual pleasure was the biggest reason for wearing the clothes. 5. Mostly for stress relief in my past years. 6. Really it is only clothing, I'm still the same person. 7. Maybe, but I don't think about it that way. 8. Now that I am older it is not about sex anymore, but about the simple enjoyment of doing something I like to do. 9. Shame, guilt and remorse are in the past where they belong. 10. My dad didn't take any interest in me until I was a teen. Then it was all about doing what he liked, hunting, fishing, and going to sports events. Unfortunately too much water had gone under the bridge, it was a weak relationship with too many bad memories.

    These are all valid questions that I also have thought about. There is nothing wrong with self introspection, if we had more people doing this, the world would be a better place.
    Last edited by Gillian Gigs; 10-17-2023 at 09:24 AM. Reason: spelling and grammer
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  19. #19
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    For me it is this.

    Do or do not. There is no why.

    I learned that from Yoda ; )

    But seriously I do not know why I started, but I know why I keep doing it. Just read my posts. Haha. It is a LOT of fun.

    Sandi

  20. #20
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    Why? I use to wonder all the time why I liked or needed to dress like a woman. It makes no sense that a man would voluntarily endure all the negativity associated with being a cross dresser.

    Was I influenced in childhood or adolescence? Nobody forced or encouraged me to try on women's clothing which was basically my mother's clothing. I did not have a sister or female cousins or even female playmates. I was a rough and tumble little boy and adolescence who loved playing all sports, climbing trees, playing with cap guns (1950's was the time of westerns). The only other small suggestion borders on prior life experience as a young woman when I was really really young.

    Therapy? Nope.

  21. #21
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    "Have you ever wondered why you like to dress as a woman?"
    As far as I'm concerned, this is the only question that is relevant. I firmly believe it is genetic. I was born this way. I was born with blue eyes, and brown hair, and a desire to wear women's clothes.
    Last edited by nvlady; 10-17-2023 at 05:10 PM.

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    I tried therapy back in my 30's and as another member mentioned, opening up totally with a therapist proved to be a little too daunting for me. It's not easy opening up and I admire those that can/have.

    My best guess is I started as a hope of safety from an abusive older stepbrother that seemed to leave my sisters alone. My behaviors associated with it throughout life have at times proven to be problematic, but I also think it helped develop me into a better person, compulsive behaviors be damn.

    Over the years I've found stress to be a trigger for increases in desires for me to crossdress. It seems to have gone full circle and come back to a sense of safety, or at least a little piece and serenity. Stressed from work or things in life, paint my toenails, nice and easy to hide, like underdressing. Shaving legs not so much but being a cyclist helped. Now that I'm in the Michigan U.P. it's a non issue, pants to ward off the bugs or the cold.

    It's interesting to me that I can pigeon hole myself into just about every paragraph of the original post. When all said and done, do I really understand it or just accept it and does it matter?

  23. #23
    Junior Member Sabine7's Avatar
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    I do dress like a woman whenever I only can and need. That means, I do whenever I am alone. I prefer female clothes because this is part of me. I think my brain was biologically formatted to be the female one. I grew up as a boy beeing taught to be a man but that little girl and mature woman now is still there hidden behind judging external world. I wish I was born a woman. Since the childhood, as far as I remember, I was dreaming and fantasizing about beeing the woman. I think dressing is a method to become one. Interestingly, when in a man mode I do live like the man leading a satisfying family life.
    I have read about certain species of fishes (more than 450 found) that can fit (change) their sex, meaning reproduction capability here, to a partner met.
    It looks like nature knows similar situations...
    Sabine

  24. #24
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    1) Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes, it's what led me to this forum, and I'm learning a lot about my experience both through what I have in common with others and what I don't. But, like other people have said, I don't believe there's an "Aha!" moment for me where it will all make sense. At the end of the day, I don't know why. I may never know why. But I know I enjoy it and there's nothing for me to be ashamed of.

    2) Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, but only in the sense that I began exploring it voluntarily in adolescence. Again, I don't think there was a singular moment in my childhood that resulted in the birth of my desire to look like a woman. I think even without my early explorations, I would have still felt this desire as an adult.

    3) Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? I'm in therapy currently, but I talk with my therapist about other subjects as well. As far as how it's going... see my answer to question #1. My therapist was very quick to say that this desire is not a pathology, there's nothing to "diagnose" or "treat" when it comes wanting to look like a woman. But she does want me to contemplate the possibility of being gay or bisexual. I've assured her multiple times that I've questioned this many times throughout my life (for various reasons, not just because of crossdressing), and I'm very comfortable and confident in saying that I am and have always been a heterosexual man. So all in all, my therapy experience (I've been seeing a therapist for about 7 months now) has been both reassuring but challenging at times, as well.

  25. #25
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I had a few experiences with girl's clothing when I was young that were a big influence. My sister's friends would always tell me I was cute. At 17 I emotionally wished that I was a female but I didn't really think I was born in the wrong body. My mom suggested therapy but she didn't push it, so I chose not to pursue it.

    Why is it that some males have a curiosity of what it would be like to try on a female garment? At puberty, trying on a dress was very arousing (sexually). I tried eyeliner when I was around 18 which also turned me on, and there were lots of female clothes in the house. I would have dreams of being locked in a department store overnight with tons of women's clothes to try on! It's all been an emotional and sexual, life long experience...
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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