Finally got a win!

[Jenniferr]

Due to a very serious medical issue 13 years ago, I have become incontinent. Not bladder but rather fecal. The results are quite nasty. My wife has suggested that I wear Depends, at least at night. It?s a hard thing to wrap my head around .I have tried the men?s Depends but the protection is in front where it is useless for me. In addition, not being very well endowed, it is kinda pointless. I have had success with women?s Depends and brought some with last week when my wife and I rented a lake house for a reconnect get away. I wanted to protect the owner?s beds. I used them quicker than expected so needed to buy some. At the grocery store my wife strolled down the feminine products aisle and grabbed a package of men?s Depends. I explained that I needed women?s and why, her response was ?whatever works?. I have expressed my appreciation several times for her understanding and acceptance. Now that we are home, she added a couple of packages to our grocery order. No problems. I am hopeful her new attitude also applies to me wearing bras, panties, nighties, and dresses and skirts. She was tolerant and accepting, growing into full blown participation early in our marriage but when we had kids, DADT set in. I have to make sure the pink fog does not mess things up again.

[char GG]

It seems to me that it's kind of a stretch to think that due to your medical issue adaptation, to think that would lead your wife to tolerate bras, panties....

Just bring up the topic of more dressing and see if you can negotiate some new guidelines.

[CharlotteCD]

I'm with char on this.

It feels a bit like when people post "I'm allowed to wear a sports bra because I have moobs", and taking that as their wife will now be equally accepting to see them in a lacey balcony bra.

Not the same. It's one thing to wear something feminine for function, but a whole other thing to wear it for fashion.

[alwayshave]

Jenniferr, you may be confusing function and form.

[CDMargret]

Communication is THE most important key to helping get your feelings in the open with your wife. Then hearing and understanding your wife's feelings. You may think she has made a gesture of acceptance yet has she really?? Grandma put women's tennis shoes on Grandpa as they fit him better and had better insoles. She did it for medical reasons and not for our pink fog. Be open and talk with your wife with respect of her past feelings about you dressing. Her feeling may not have changed...yet.

[Jenniferr]

Thanks for the feedback. I had issues with posting and had to rewrite four times so some stuff got left out. I am aware that supporting me wearing women’s Depends is different than a blanket wear any female underwear for whatever reason. I will take it—hey, I still get to wear women’s underwear, right. Different reason but it will do for now. That said, my wife was extremely involved in my crossdressing until kids. Her fear was that they would blab to their friends my dad wears panties and dresses and then the whole neighborhood appears with pitchforks. Now something just seems different—she is very LGBTQ supportive and very against any attempts to corral trans people with biased laws. Our relationship seemed to have been in a rut during DADT, now it seems to be coming back into daylight. It’s hard to explain, I just know there is something different. I realize communication is HUGE. That is why I am very aware to not let the pink fog take over again. I admit yeas ago I pushed the boundaries and ignored some but with the help of a wonderful therapist we addressed those issues and I think she has gotten comfortable that I will stay iwithin the boundaries. If nothing else, we can clear the air, maybe negotiate new conditions, and I still have clear approval to wear women’s underwear even if they are Depends.

[docrobbysherry]

If u consider this, "a win", Jenn? Then, it is!

U don't have to turn water into wine. Sometimes just going out and buying wine's a win!

[Kitty Sue]

People change so I would not expect your wife to change. I think in all LTRs partners often wish the other would change something to match their wishes. However, that is not usually the case. So acceptance becomes key IMO.

[Beth14]

I keep seeing PINK FOG. what does that mean?

[IJCCharlotte]

I had to look it up too, Beth! This is what I found from https://www.renaissancelv.org/single...0can%20do%20so.

"A sense of euphoria where all you can do is think about the excitement and fun you have when expressing your feminine side while you count down the hours to the next time you can do so."

[NjJamie]

Beth, you'll know it when it hits you! And after a really good experience you will have a hard time controlling it, at least I do.