I was a bad ally tonight

[CharlotteCD]

I was on my evening walk tonight and at the top of a hill I spotted a short skirt and tights. For whatever reason that's my superpower - I can pick out a skirt and tights from a distance, even on a dark night like tonight.

Initially I was concerned - if this was a woman out late at night, having a 6ft5 male walking towards them in the dark on a road with no cars around may seem threatening, or cause them fear.

I then moved on to "Is it a lady of the night?" thinking, because it seemed so out of place for a woman in a fairly short skirt to be out late at night.

As they got closer I realised that it was a male with a skirt and tights on.

I was so shocked to actually see "one of us" in the wild that I didn't really have any kind of facial response for them either negative or positive.




I'm so disappointed in myself for not giving them a smile and just letting them know that I was happy for them to be living their best life.

[Simple pleasures]

Such a shame and a missed opportunity but the other person probably felt happy that there was nothing derogatory said so maybe a small win!

[docrobbysherry]

That was u, Charlotte!?

[bridget thronton]

I just smile and say hello if we pass one another

[char GG]

You did just fine, Charlotte.

As you know, many CDers may be unhappy if they think people recognize them as a CDer.

[Betty70]

I suppose your reaction was not due to the fact that the person you met was a cross-dresser.
The problem was that someone dressed inappropriately for the time and place.
E.g., a summer dress with cleavage in the midst of snow drifts would be a curiosity, regardless of whether it was worn by GG or CD

[Helen_Highwater]

Thing is, is there a lesson for us all here.

"I then moved on to "Is it a lady of the night?" thinking, because it seemed so out of place for a woman in a fairly short skirt to be out late at night."

If wearing those clothes is what floats your boat then that's your choice but if you don't want to draw attention then modesty is your ally.

[SaraLin]

I'm so disappointed in myself for not giving them a smile and just letting them know that I was happy for them to be living their best life.

- and there is definitely the possibility that they are probably swimming in euphoria, believing that they "passed!"

Don't beat yourself up, hon. You did fine.

That is exactly the reaction that I would want from a man if I were in that situation.
(Leave me alone and let me enjoy my walk in peace!)

[CharlotteCD]

Thing is, is there a lesson for us all here.

"I then moved on to "Is it a lady of the night?" thinking, because it seemed so out of place for a woman in a fairly short skirt to be out late at night."

If wearing those clothes is what floats your boat then that's your choice but if you don't want to draw attention then modesty is your ally.

I think that this is a key thing that a number of people on this forum should be more aware of when it comes to their first outings, and anybody who is trying to do an outing to pass.

Like many, I did my first trips out in the dark. Few women will be seen out alone in the dark just walking around.

The one thing I did do well however was to wear skinny jeans and a coat rather than a dress or skirt. Things that would certainly draw attention.

[alwayshave]

Charlotte, Some people get spooked by interactions while dressed. You acted perfectly.

[GretchenM]

For shame Charlotte!!! On the other hand the indications were ambiguous as to the sex of the person. An easy mistake. But the CD Gods will likely forgive you.

You did just fine!

[DianeT]

I suppose your reaction was not due to the fact that the person you met was a cross-dresser.
The problem was that someone dressed inappropriately for the time and place.
E.g., a summer dress with cleavage in the midst of snow drifts would be a curiosity, regardless of whether it was worn by GG or CD

I can tell you of groups of friends walking in the streets of a Northern European country by 32 Fahrenheit and a humid weather, and among them you would frequently spot one or two young women walking with a jacket, no scarf, a tight short skirt, hose and heels, in other words clubbing attire. I sometimes see this in France as well in winter evenings. Differences with CDers? They seldom walk isolated streets alone in such attire, and usually don't do this past 60.

[Jillcder]

On a few occasions while out shopping I have encountered another crossdresser I cautiously complement them on their look and have only received smiles in return and a quick conversation nothing negative at all.

[CarlaWestin]

Way back when I thought the cover of darkness would cloak my CD behaviour I encountered another CD in the wee hours. The outfit was interesting. I large woman's hat and then wrapped with a giant scarf to make a hobble dress using about 50 safety pins to keep it together. Other late night encounters have been police. It dawned on me that after dark the only people out are cops, crooks and daring crossdressers thinking they're all alone.

[Stephanie47]

I think the locale has something to do with interactions; daylight or otherwise. You were taking an "evening walk" which suggests to me that it was not the dead of night. I know you're tall which may make you appear as a potential "threat." It is customary for me to make eye contact with everyone and just say a gentle "Good evening" without breaking stride. I do not think anyone would want to stop for a discussion; woman, man or cross-dresser. I am 76 so as an aged man I may not appear as threatening as a young male.

Me? When I have had the opportunity to go out for an evening stroll I have usually gone to my favorite neighborhood of private residences and small shops and restaurants as well as two 24 hour grocery stores. I am strictly a dress, heels and hosiery wearer; not a pair of pants in my wardrobe. Depending on the season I will wear a light jacket or winter knee length coat. I carry a tote from one of the two grocery stores to make it appear that I do belong; a woman on the way home from work and stopping for groceries. There are always other people on the street as it is a "walking" neighborhood and not some warehouse district where anyone would be out of place.

[Kitty Sue]

You did nothing wrong at all.

[Karren H]

Early on, just not being harassed or laughed at when out enfemme made the day a large success, for me.

[Beth14]

I dont think you did anything wrong. Most people have the same reaction

[Aunt Kelly]

Thing is, is there a lesson for us all here.

"I then moved on to "Is it a lady of the night?" thinking, because it seemed so out of place for a woman in a fairly short skirt to be out late at night."

If wearing those clothes is what floats your boat then that's your choice but if you don't want to draw attention then modesty is your ally.

That... and the whole "alone at night" thing are common themes here. Ironically, the fear of being clocked is also a thing. I can't help but think that there is more than a little denial, of some kind, going on here. If you want to wear something, do it, and stop being afraid of "discovery". It's not a crime to dress like a hooker. If that "risk" is what actually does it for you, admit that. In any case, stop hating yourself for being who you are.

[Geena75]

One curse I have when out dressed alone is not having words ready to say. The same applies when my mind gets wrapped around things CD. Once I was out and saw a guy wearing a pleated skirt, no wig, and cowboy hat in a store and I could think of nothing to say. A lady said something nice about my sweater and boots once, and I could barely say thank-you. Perhaps I still have the deep fear of being 'outed' and that stymies my replies.

[Heather76]

On a few occasions while out shopping I have encountered another crossdresser I cautiously complement them on their look and have only received smiles in return and a quick conversation nothing negative at all.

I'm with Jill on this. There is nothing wrong at all in offering a compliment about liking the outfit the person is wearing. It doesn't indicate you can tell they CD. This last week while going thru a McDonald's drive-thru, I was handed my food for the 2nd time by a young man with fingernail polish (or fake nails). The last time I saw this, I wasn't quick enough to tell him I liked them. This time I was prepared. As he handed me the sack of food, I simply said, "I love your nails. They're very pretty." His response was a huge smile and a sincere "Thank you." Complimenting someone in this manner can only help them to feel validated.

[Susan_Michaela]

Would love to see another crossdresser while out and about. I would definitely be a graceful and positive speaker to admire them. That?s the one thing I?ve never seen though and have been out 24/7 since January 1st of 2023. You would think with me out and about plus all the many years previous to my coming out I?ve still yet to see or meet another crossdresser or otherwise. Hopefully someday I?ll finally get the opportunity to meet another like me.

[Christie ann]

Early on, just not being harassed or laughed at when out enfemme made the day a large success, for me.

Yes! What she said.