Hi. I've received and read lots of advice that talking, communicating is essential, both "the talk" and ongoing as things develop. I see the value of this, you set boundaries, etc.
My wife, however, doesn't want to talk, I've tried a few times. She replied something like "don't overthink it, or make it too formal". That's cool, but she's also made it clear she married a man, not a woman and there might be a threshold where she's had enough and would want to end the marriage. Things have improved in general from that pretty low ebb for us, so that might not be true anymore, but without talking to find boundaries how do I know what I can do, how I can develop?
She's also (as I've said before) said she loves me too much to stand in my way, but that she might not be able to stay with me. I want to stay together, CD be damned.
She's accepting and not discouraging (painting my nails, not aghast when I asked to sleep with her in a nightie, etc).
How do I find my boundaries without being too formal/legalistic? I suppose slowly slowly, but perhaps I'm already pushing, e.g. asking to sleep with her wearing a nightie. The last thing I want to do is blunderingly burst the bubble of her love.