Am I a Crossdresser or ???

[Gracefullyfemme]

Hello Ladies ... I ask because I'm not sure. In a couple of previous topics posted by others I've said I question whether I am a CD because I only dress in the privacy of my own home and only wear nightgowns (retro 50's, 60's). That being said IF I knew how to achieve a convincing female look I would love to go out in public (out of town) as a female. I've had a love affair with lingerie and long flowing sheer nightgowns in particular since my mother wore them when I was a teen-age boy. She looked like an angel in such items and wanted to wear them myself.

Much has happened in my life which has made me question everything about it including my sexuality. I'm well into my 60's but mentally and physically feel as though I'm around 50. I have an active mind and do fantasize about being intimate with someone (male/female) as a lady. It does scare me somewhat in "how far do I go"?

[Susan_Michaela]

I would say yes you are a crossdresser but you can or only should take it as far a you can handle it mentally. You didn?t specify any other details but it sounds to me like you are. Don?t overthink it take your time and don?t let it stress you too much or it?ll most likely make it worse as far as the cycle goes. Welcome to the group and many of the ladies here can help with their expertise.

[Samantha51]

Welcome to the forum, this is the ideal place to ask your questions. Perhaps I'm in a similar position, being mid-50's who's recently exploded from occasionally wearing my wife's pants for seconds to wearing my own knickers most of the time. I can't afford to do more at the moment as money is tight.

I feel your "am I CD?" anguish as I felt it too (I'm 99% resolved I am a CD now). I tried to deny it for ages saying "it's stress of not having a job", "it's only knickers occasionally", etc.

Because you regularly wear female clothing then you are a crossdresser - AND THAT IS FINE. I know this can seem a daunting prospect and may call into question your masculinity, history, etc. I felt the same. But being a CD is ok - I've only recently accepted it's perfectly ok. Where you take it is totally up to you.

Earlier in my own journey (last few months) I was questioning my gender and my sexuality even wondering if I'm trans for example. I think that's totally natural as you start accepting and exploring crossdressing. Just wearing women's clothes might be enough for you and that's fine. Wanting to feel feminine/pretty/etc is also fine. Wanting to be a woman (even temporarily) is also fine, even if you don't want to transition. Not sure I'm making much sense, but I suppose I mean - don't try and shoe-horn yourself into labels too much too early on - sit with it, explore it (but SAFELY - be aware of the "Pink Fog").

There's a huge amount to process (well I think so) - Social pressure to conform. Shame. Why do I CD? (very few find real answer)? Can I stop CD (I now doubt I can)? Do I even want to stop CD (not really for me)? Where will it end up? What would SO, child, friend, strangers think? Is this a sexual thing or because I'm feeling my mortality? Endless questions! I've learned a HUGE amount and TBH started accepting and possibly loving myself for the very first time in my life = VERY positive growth!

I don't know if you have a partner (SO), but if you do then that needs to be carefully and compassionately considered - it's a big shock for a SO to deal with.

Good luck, this is a great forum of CD and their partners. Fantastic support, advice and good ideas.

EDIT: just to add that I feel I am a better/stronger/healthier man for exploring this crossdressing/feminine side. Another positive for me!

Have fun!

[Maid_Marion]

Most CDs have an inverted triangle body shape. Busty but no hips. Some girls wear hip pads. Fashion advice for "inverted triangles" may help.
A pleated skirt can add volume to your lower half. As will light colors. Most GGs avoid making their lower half look bigger, so there isn't a much advice for CDs. But there is some.
Many communities are more accepting of CDs. Especially young people. It was taboo for those who watched M.A.S.H. in the 1970s on television, but the younger generation wasn't even born yet!

[bridget thronton]

Welcome to the forum - labels are not really important as long as you are happy

[Cheryl T]

If you want to have a label, then yes, you are a crossdresser.
Anyone who wears any clothing of the opposite sex is, by definition, a crossdresser.
Some, like myself, desire to only be seen and accepted as a female. Others, prefer just to wear certain articles of female clothing and others are somewhere else in between.

I dislike labels, but at times they are a necessary evil. After all, without labels wouldn't everything be the same?

[kimdl93]

I would not spend a lot of time fretting about fantasies. People of all genders and sexual orientations have fantasies about things that they are unlikely to be interested in pursuing in real life. Frankly, I would guess that most people may question their sexuality at some point in their lives. They may question their gender identity. But do not confuse the two. One does not dictate the other.

As to deciding how to view yourself, if you are in the habit of wearing womens nightgowns, you are crossdressing. Your motivations for doing so are your own.

[docrobbysherry]

If a male fantasizes about wearing women's things they r a CD! I know, because I was a vanilla male until my 50's. Up until then it NEVER OCCURRED TO ME to try on women's things!

Almost anyone who wishes to present as a pretty female can do so if they want to badly enuff. I'm 80 and can and do!

No one knows I dress who knows me because I don't go out dressed where I live. But, I've met maybe 1000 dressers and others attending T events and T friendly clubs and bars out of town and around the country! U can, too!

[RisqueLemon]

I am also in my mid 50s and only recently was able to look my fianc? in the eye and say "I'm a crossdresser" She already knew and is very accepting of my choice. Saying it out loud to another human for the first time was cathartic and helped me a lot. I still do stumble when I say it out loud.

I spent a lot of time questioning my sexuality as well. In the end, while I do have some very homoerotic fantasies I do consider myself to be straight. Outside of sexual fantasies I have never been attracted to another man. Gay porn also does absolutely nothing for me unless there is crossdressing involves, make what you will of that, lol.

I thought I was an absolute freak until I was 55. My love affair with women's clothing started when I was 9 years old. I can probably count the number of times I wore female clothing in 46 years on both hands. I thought about it constantly though.

I work in the construction industry and always with many A-type personality types. I now enjoy coming home and putting on something super girly, cute and comfortable. The only reason I don't do it daily is the lack of options to wear, which I intend to correct when money isn't so tight. I am still very, very new to all of this and figuring things out.

I am also terrified. How far will I go? When will my fianc? say "too far my dude" even though she's behind me 100%.

[Deborah G]

I turned 65 last February and I enjoy dressing as much as I did when I was 15! For me, I do not spend alot of time analyzing why but just enjoying that I am do like wearing women's clothing and all that means to me. Love Deborah

[Bea_]

I'm 68 and only became interested in wearing panties in my mid-fifties. At first, I never considered any other items of women's clothing, seeing anything further as too much of of complication. And, I hate complications. When I only wore panties I didn't really consider myself to be a crossdresser. But, the label ultimately makes no difference.

This morning, I got up, coordinated my panties with a sports bra, put on a pair of leggings and a pink woman's fleece hoodie. I finished it all off with a sterling ankle chain. So yeah, I'm a crossdresser. But, I look in the mirror at my fully bearded face and shoulder length gray hair and I see an aging hippie with a mildly feminine presentation. It suits me.

I've been out a couple of times in varying degrees of hybrid mode but overall I'm a closeted crossdresser. I am heterosexual and monogamous, so my fantasies tend to be of my wife finding me to be desirable in whatever I'm wearing. She accepts my style at home, but would love to see it go away.

Ultimately, the classification of MtF crossdresser is just a subset of the the classification male. The classification of crossdresser is so broad that it still barely helps to define a person. As a bearded guy in all girl clothes, I definitely don't fit most peoples idea of a crossdresser. That suits me fine. I respect everyone else's choices for themselves.

[Karren H]

There are as many variations and flavors of crossdressers as there are accepting (tolerating) SOs. Do not over think it. Do what you like to do and do not worry about what anyone (including me) says!

[Gracefullyfemme]

Thank-you ladies for your thoughts. I've questioned this for so long because if no-one within my inner circle knows and I never go out as a female then my thinking was that its just a fetish but that doesn't explain the sense there's a lady within me that wants to come out. Life is mysterious.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to all.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I would say just enjoy what you have, Labels are for Soup Cans,

[Jane G]

You are you. Keep being you and don't get bogged down in why or am I different. We are all unique. Enjoy that and be your self.

Welcome to the forum.

[BrendaPDX]

Yes you are a crossdresser, it's no big deal, there are millions of us out there, you probably know someone who is and don't even know it. Age has nothing to do with it, some start very early, some late in life. Take time to explore yourself, acknowledgement is the first thrilling part of the journey.

[lmildcd]

There are some similarities between you and me. I also only crossdress in the privacy of my own home. I sometimes wear panties, stockings, or pantyhose underneath regular clothes. I sometimes go out with a T-shirt or leggings since no one can tell the difference. As for being intimate with someone, I'm not sure but it would have to be with a woman or another crossdresser. I'm not interested in being intimate with a man. I co consider myself a crossdresser.

[jacques]

hello,
if you self identify as a cross-dresser you are a crossdresser.
So welcome to the forum. Everyone is friendly and supportive here.
We are a diverse group of people.
Enjoy the journey!
luv J

[Genifer Teal]

To some extent that's how this all started for me. I had a curiosity about looking female and even more specifically about wearing high heels. once I had explored that I wanted to take it outside but knew i had to have the right look and that's how it progressed.

[Gracefullyfemme]

I haven't checked-in for about a week so thank-you for the added comments. As I've gone through life I've questioned so much of it, not just whether I'm a CD but also my sexuality. I've come to accept that I'm Bi and open to a serious intimate relationship with either sex. To me relationships are about complete acceptance and to be in one I would want and need to be accepted as a female. I hope to get to a point where I can go out in public confidently as a female and see where that takes me.

Lady Joanna

[alwayshave]

I would say you are a crossdresser. But ultimately, how you define yourself. is up to you. I also love nightgowns and slips.

[Violetgray]

Gotta admit, I laughed out loud when I saw the title "Am I a crossdresser or...?" from someone named "Gracefullyfemme" which I read as "Grace, fully femme"

But to answer your question the answer is you go as far as you want to go, or explore. Are you hurting anyone? If the answer is no, then discover yourself and experiment to your heart's content.

[Kitty Sue]

Only you can decide if you are a crossdresser or not. In saying that I can identify with a lot of what you wrote and I am a crossdresser.

[Lacey New]

You are only a cross dresser if you wish to define yourself as such. And even if wearing a silky nightie is all you ever wear, you are still welcome here.

[gownman]

I too love long, silky nightgowns. I also wear panties under my clothes (Shadowline full-cut briefs - so soft and silky!), and sometimes a camisole, slip, or petti-pants. I have a pretty large collection of silky gowns, almost all of them long. It's fun and sexy.