Nice progression

[Samantha51]

Hi all you lovely people,

Yesterday was another nice step forward. My wife asked me to help put her clothes away which was pleasant in itself, but she also passed to me another bra that is too small for her and a pretty t-shirt. The big step (mostly for me) was that she encouraged me to try the bra on in her company, something I've mostly resisted. She asked if it was comfortable, I said yes. I kept it on. We then had a "mini at-home" spa session (part of a love calendar thing she started which is turning out to be good). So we did face masks (my 1st) whilst watching TV. I'd put candles in the bathroom to give her feet some attention but we ran out of time. She also got me to buy some eyeliner.

Today I am sat here in my thigh-highs and the new shirt pulled down to look like a mini-skirt. I really like the look which surprised me as I thought I'd avoid the clubby look and go for mature look. Nice. Very nice indeed.

Looking at myself today and I increasingly think I am more than a crossdresser, that I am further along the trans spectrum, even though I'm happy with my maleness. Interesting times.

The only fly in the ointment, and I am not downplaying the significance, is that she's upset and angry that it's taken me to become a CD to start paying attention to her/women's clothing. She thinks my greatly increased attentiveness, romance, thoughtfulness is a phase and that it will pass in due course. I understand her feeling this way - I've been quite miserable - I thank God she has stayed with me. It made me feel a little narcissistic. All I can do is 1) be her man enough of the time, and 2) give her time to realise that it's a real change.

I put my change down to discovering, accepting and enjoying that I'm a CD (I really had no awareness), but also being on antidepressants and for the last week sleeping pills so I actually get 8 hours per night (BLISS).

[Maid_Marion]

Listening to her vent will help.
If you don't get something, spend time to figure it out.
A good listener wants to understand.

Marion

[Cheryl T]

My wife felt the same about my attention to her clothing and appearance when I came out to her.
I explained that it wasn't that I wasn't paying attention to her and her attire it's that I was walking a fine line trying to show attention, but not TOO MUCH attention that might give away the fact I too love feminine attire. It was difficult to be appreciative of her choices and sometimes critical when I wanted so much to be able to openly express my feelings.
After discussing all this she began to understand it wasn't a new found interest, but a release of what had been bottled up for so long.

[docrobbysherry]

In my experience that "honeymoon" stage lasts about 3 years or so? However, u may be that rare and lucky couple that makes it last a lot longer, Sam!

[kimdl93]

One thing you might want to think about is whether you are becoming something that you were not, or discovering a part of yourself that was always there. It may help diffuse your wifes issues with your emerging interest in womens clothes if she understands that your learning to understand yourself.

[Genifer Teal]

Maybe it's a trick and she doesn't want you to gain weight. She's rewarding you for staying this size.��

[Aunt Kelly]

Count your blessings. Most members here, by far, have had far more negative experiences when their partner learned of their gender identity. I'll say it again, count your blessings, and do whatever you need to do to let your partner know that she's absolutely right. You are paying more attention because it now matters to you on a completely different level. That starts with communication. Let her know that you understand and respect her feelings and reservations. Ask her what you can do to let her know how much her acceptance means to you, and how you might reassure her that you will never take that for granted. Then go out of your way to do what she suggests, and more. You are a very lucky crossdresser, and if you later find out that you are "something more", you're going to need that bank of trust and understanding you will have built.