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Thread: Nice progression

  1. #1
    Member Samantha51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2023
    London, UK

    Nice progression

    Hi all you lovely people,

    Yesterday was another nice step forward. My wife asked me to help put her clothes away which was pleasant in itself, but she also passed to me another bra that is too small for her and a pretty t-shirt. The big step (mostly for me) was that she encouraged me to try the bra on in her company, something I've mostly resisted. She asked if it was comfortable, I said yes. I kept it on. We then had a "mini at-home" spa session (part of a love calendar thing she started which is turning out to be good). So we did face masks (my 1st) whilst watching TV. I'd put candles in the bathroom to give her feet some attention but we ran out of time. She also got me to buy some eyeliner.

    Today I am sat here in my thigh-highs and the new shirt pulled down to look like a mini-skirt. I really like the look which surprised me as I thought I'd avoid the clubby look and go for mature look. Nice. Very nice indeed.

    Looking at myself today and I increasingly think I am more than a crossdresser, that I am further along the trans spectrum, even though I'm happy with my maleness. Interesting times.

    The only fly in the ointment, and I am not downplaying the significance, is that she's upset and angry that it's taken me to become a CD to start paying attention to her/women's clothing. She thinks my greatly increased attentiveness, romance, thoughtfulness is a phase and that it will pass in due course. I understand her feeling this way - I've been quite miserable - I thank God she has stayed with me. It made me feel a little narcissistic. All I can do is 1) be her man enough of the time, and 2) give her time to realise that it's a real change.

    I put my change down to discovering, accepting and enjoying that I'm a CD (I really had no awareness), but also being on antidepressants and for the last week sleeping pills so I actually get 8 hours per night (BLISS).

  2. #2
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Listening to her vent will help.
    If you don't get something, spend time to figure it out.
    A good listener wants to understand.


  3. #3
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Northeast Pa near NJ and NY
    My wife felt the same about my attention to her clothing and appearance when I came out to her.
    I explained that it wasn't that I wasn't paying attention to her and her attire it's that I was walking a fine line trying to show attention, but not TOO MUCH attention that might give away the fact I too love feminine attire. It was difficult to be appreciative of her choices and sometimes critical when I wanted so much to be able to openly express my feelings.
    After discussing all this she began to understand it wasn't a new found interest, but a release of what had been bottled up for so long.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  4. #4
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    In my experience that "honeymoon" stage lasts about 3 years or so? However, u may be that rare and lucky couple that makes it last a lot longer, Sam!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    A bit south of the 49th!
    One thing you might want to think about is whether you are becoming something that you were not, or discovering a part of yourself that was always there. It may help diffuse your wifes issues with your emerging interest in womens clothes if she understands that your learning to understand yourself.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Maybe it's a trick and she doesn't want you to gain weight. She's rewarding you for staying this size.��

  7. #7
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Greater Houston
    Count your blessings. Most members here, by far, have had far more negative experiences when their partner learned of their gender identity. I'll say it again, count your blessings, and do whatever you need to do to let your partner know that she's absolutely right. You are paying more attention because it now matters to you on a completely different level. That starts with communication. Let her know that you understand and respect her feelings and reservations. Ask her what you can do to let her know how much her acceptance means to you, and how you might reassure her that you will never take that for granted. Then go out of your way to do what she suggests, and more. You are a very lucky crossdresser, and if you later find out that you are "something more", you're going to need that bank of trust and understanding you will have built.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

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