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Thread: Best advice you've been given here. Gratitude

  1. #1
    Member StacyG's Avatar
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    Nov 2021
    Fort Worth

    Best advice you've been given here. Gratitude

    I'm curious as to what's the best advice you've been given personally or indirectly by reading someone else's post and member replies. A few years ago I posted a picture of me in an outfit that no one responded to. My feelings were not hurt. Its one of those things that where it looked good on the model on the website and on women I'm seen in real life but not me. Someone said try shopping in the maternity sections. It was the best advice. They just fit right and look good.
    I'll admit i have a bit of a satin/silk fetish, and it was just time for me to try other outfits in other fabrics. That opened up a whole new world for me.
    Share what's helped you. Fashion, relationships or whatever.
    Thanks for all the support, advice and encouragement.

  2. #2
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    Kent, England, UK
    Over the years i have benefitted from some great advice here, especially early on when (with the benefit of hindsight) i really had no idea what i was all about....
    However, the best advice i ever received here was based on a post i had made (several years ago) about going to a Pride event but worrying about being seen and outed at work.
    One member here, whom i respect massively, told me very straight that if i wanted to go out in public then i needed to own it and be confident about who i am.
    When i first read her reply i was rather disappointed, because nobody likes to be criticised by somebody that they respect. However, when i re-read her comment and considered it, i realised that she was absolutely right and that i was being rather selfish and hypocritical.
    That advice was the metaphorical kick up the behind that i really needed and it became a watershed moment in my life.
    In the years since then i have come-out to my colleagues and some of my friends and intend to come-out to my family soon. I now regularly go out in public and feel confident about who i am.
    I will always be grateful to her for being a good friend and telling me what i needed to hear rather than what i wanted to hear.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  3. #3
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    SouthEastern Ontario
    What a great thread .
    I look forward to everyone’s input.

    My best advice given to me
    No CD is alike ….Just because you read something on here does not mean your partner is the same.

    I pass that on to new GGs because they read something on here does not mean that their partner feels the same.
    Just like there is a million reasons ( it seems) why someone CDs in the first place.
    Be yourself … don’t be ashamed …be proud everyone .
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


  4. #4
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    May 2016
    North Carolina
    When going down the path to being a transwoman, I was told I was going too fast and to slow down!
    I listened and started going out every day and being dressed 24/7 as much as possible before the HRT!
    Waited an additional 3 months before the start of HRT!
    I worked with my councilor and MD and started!
    The 3 months that I waited helped me so much! I can not explain it but it helped get my head screwed on right!
    May that advisor rest in peace!
    Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    When I first arrived here eons ago I was riddled with shame, guilt and recrimination caused by my dressing.

    Then, the T's here explained that I wasn't breaking any laws and not hurting anyone else. So, get over it and be myself!

    Altho it took a few years, I did! And, now at 80, dressing is the best part of my life and is what keeps me feeling and looking young!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
    The advice I remember, when you are feeling overwhelmed by the pink cloud and maybe have the uncontrollable urge to tell all to others....dont, wait, and think why and consider telling someone on a need to know basis - this will make more sence the day after............Debra

  7. #7
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Do not worry about what other people think! If they have a problem it is their problem not yours.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  8. #8
    Member Deborah G's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Just East of Houston, TX
    Stacy G,
    Second what docrobbysherry and Karren H related! I didn't start living until I followed this advice, as there will always be naysayers.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Hmmm, best advice. It came from my psychologist many years ago when I finally admitted that I was a cross dresser. Her exact words were: “Its not a crime, you know.”

    I heard variations on that same advice from people here over the past 13 years and I think I finally got to the point where I accepted that bit of wisdom.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  10. #10
    Senior Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    best advice = be yourself
    "Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

  11. #11
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    Just do it! Not Nike, but just go out already and stop procrastinating.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    It was not a specific post, but over time I came to learn it is not my wife?s fault that she is unable to process and accept that I want to wear some fem things like pantyhose. It is just the way she is. I used to have some hard feelings about it, but I have let that go completely. Granted I have not stopped, but I do not make her see of it anymore, and we are both happier for it. No it is not ideal, but I get it that she did not connect with me for my fem side. This site has helped me understand that better.


  13. #13
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK
    This is sort of a reverse look at things. I've written before about meeting a sister at a support group who just didn't come close to passing but just went out shopping enfemme and that instired me to next day walk into my first, and certainly not my last, shop while dressed.

    Having done that I realised just what great advice I'd read here about owning it and being confident, walk head up as you've every right to be there.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  14. #14
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    The Ask-a-GG threads were instrumental in my decision to reveal my CDing to my wife.

  15. #15
    Member CDMargret's Avatar
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    Dec 2018
    Niles Michigan
    Still waiting for my best advice moment yet everyone here has such great advice. Thank you for sharing.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Very early here I used to drive to quit industrial areas and walk around, I knew in that moment there were people who cared because this community red flagged me instantly. They warned me about the bad idea that was and warned me about the dangers.
    I thought that wasn't just good advice but took it as people concerned for my safety.

  17. #17
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    Do not hide things from your wife (communicate and give her time to process changes)

  18. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    The best advice from this forum I have not yet used but Im confident when I get the nerve to discuss my desire to wear womens clothing with my wife the advice from the ladies here will help us both. It is amazing how many intelligent threads and comments I have read on this great forum. Thank you all!

  19. #19
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    out and about
    Perhaps less advise and more lessons learned while being a member here for like 16 years.

    The biggest was I am not alone.
    We are all different yet so similar let others follow their pathway as they let you follow yours.
    Be yourself, you are not a bad person those other people are just narrow minded.
    Let your style flow from within and, it might take some time and money and mirrors and pictures to find what that style is, and, it will change over time.
    There is lots of wisdom in these pages listen and learn.
    Life is too serious to be taken seriously.

  20. #20
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    In reflection, after all these years, while we?re alike in many ways, we?re also different in many ways. It?s nice to hear from others who have similar interests and experiences. Private messages are fun. Telling my wife was the biggest, toughest but best thing I did and wholeheartedly recommend it. Regardless of response, secrecy will rarely work. Even if negative, it?s on the table. I?ve gleaned to have a more ?who cares? attitude and am going out more.

  21. #21
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Northeast Pa near NJ and NY
    Accept yourself.
    There is nothing wrong with you.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  22. #22
    Once upon a time... Veronica Lacey's Avatar
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    Aug 2008
    From many threads I've gleaned and adopted the belief that the world wouldn't end if somebody ever did find out that I dressed (my wife has known since very early on.) Still, after so many years and related quiet anxiety about it all I feel better equipped to navigate the world should an unplanned reveal occur.
    Last edited by Veronica Lacey; 12-10-2023 at 09:41 AM.
    Part-time crossdresser, full-time human

  23. #23
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Finding out on how to deal with my disphoria and the cause and effects the treatments.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    The best advice I was given was not here.

    It was a former moderator here who suggested I join this forum.

    Since then, there are lots of little things that have helped me along the way.

    Far too many to mention.

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  25. #25
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    Stacy, I have gotten lots of great advice here. But more than that, I have realized I am not alone and there are others just like me.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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