Dream

[StephanieLake]

A little background before I get in to the dream. I came out as a CD to my wife of 30 years a couple years ago. She's ok with in mostly. So far it's been just dressing around the house and at times going out as a MIAD, when I'm at the lake house by myself. And once with her in Vegas. Boy, that was fun.

A couple nights ago, I had a dream that my wife went away on a trip without telling me beforehand. To make my self feel better, in the dream, I decided to practice my makeup. I told her about the dream and we talked about how I did. Not well. Lol. That night, she said goodnight and said, "Hopefully you'll have another makeup dream." I always try to reassure her, when I have dreams like this, that I have no desire to transition or live full time as a woman. So I reiterated that and said, "I'm not going to lie, obviously if I'm dreaming about it, it's something I have thought about." Her response was, "Well, if you're going to do it, don't go cheap. Buy some decent stuff. You get what you pay for." I told her I would only do it at the lake house by myself. She said, or you could go on a trip.

So here is my question. Is she giving me permission to try makeup? I don't want to push it with her, but this seems like a step forward and I can try my hand without having to hide the makeup. What do you girls think? I'd like to hear from some GGs too.

[MonikaCD]

Hi Stephanie,

IMHO your wife gives you green light to try on makeup. I don't know you if usually dress in your house when your wife is around, but to be on the safe side you better try it on your own without showing her how you look. Then you can tell her, that you did that and how was it.
If you don't have experience in applying makeup, but have the courage, please consider going for professional makeup session - just google for makeup lessons. I went once to a one-on-one lesson with makeup artist and it was night and day comparing to what I can do by myself (for now ). If you don't have any makeup products, she will also tell you what to buy, how to apply and so on. Your wife was right that decent products are not cheap, but there are some cheaper, but high quality product that good makeup artist will recommend.
If you go to Sephora or similar, they will try to sell you some good, but expensive brands.

[StephanieLake]

Monika,

I do dress around her, but no forms or makeup, obviously. My plan is to go to Sephora or Ulta for a makeover/lesson. I can't imagine trying it by myself. I need help matching and applying it. I know they are not cheap, but I think it will be worth it.

Stephanie

[Laura912]

Why don’t you ask your wife?

[StephanieLake]

Laura,

I was thinking the same thing. I don't want her to think I'm harping on the issue, so I was thinking of waiting a few nights they saying, "The other night when you said...."

[Kris Burton]

Sounds like a green light to me, but tell her first what you are considering and to confirm that what she said is how you interpreted it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stephanie , I think that you are waiting for her to take you by the Hand and lead you to the Makeup Counter.

>>>>>>>>>Orchid**OO**

[Di]

Why don’t you ask your wife?

Just what I was going to say.
I do not know her .
I myself think she is giving the green light….but that is me thinking like me.

She is right you get what you pay for..,,makeup, wigs everything really.
I would be watching makeup videos on YouTube….mostly CD related as I found ( through Sher )it’s different shading , contouring, beard cover and so forth.
Let us know how it goes.

[char GG]

I also think you should ask your wife.

We don't know the tone, the context, or anything other than the words that you are repeating. Are you putting a spin on what you wish she was saying? Best to clarify - we really don't know.

[docrobbysherry]

What if a 100 of us strangers said we thot she said ok, Steph? U still wouldn't know for sure?

When u can ask the one person who really knows because she lives with u!

[alwayshave]

Stephanie, Just ask her to help you purchase the makeup. That should let you know whether she is giving you permission or not.

[GretchenM]

I think it is important to take dreams with a grain of salt; perhaps a large one. We don't recall everything in a dream but only those parts that can be assembled into a story line. The dream itself may not have followed a story line. So, I would suggest you ignore the dream.

Instead look at the conscious reality that you CD for some reason and have structured it in a way that is respectful of your wife's feelings that establish some kind of boundaries. So, if you want to take the step toward makeup just bring it up with her and ask her what her thoughts are.

You two appear to be considerate of your individuality beyond the boundaries of your marital union and it is good to remain respectful and keep in touch on her feelings and inform her of your feelings. That can only be done with communication - assuming something and then doing it may be OK or it may set things on fire. Just talk about it and ask and most of all talk more about the feelings the action creates rather than the action itself.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I have learned that 95% of DREAMS are simply "re-statements" in "Dream language" (Imagery) of things you already know. So to interpret, you look into what things and objects like "makeup" , etc. SYMBOLIZE to you. and you often get an answer . Perhaps it's something like "I don't do makeup very well". Nothing profound, you may already know that and expressed it into words many times before you dreamed it in symbols. Working out dream meanings is fun, though even if it evokes a response "Is that all? I already knew that."

I don't claim to have interpreted your dream, but only offer advice and a good example of what I mean. YOU are the one who knows what each of your dream elements symbolize. You will have to work it out yourself and not be surprised by how simple the answer USUALLY is.

[StephanieLake]

Thank you all for your advice, as usual, it was good.*

Last night I asked her if what she said meant she was ok with me getting and wearing makeup. She said yes. She said "I knew you wanted to, I could tell by the way you watched when I shop for it. You may not notice, but I pay attention to these things."*

Several of you suggested I ask her to help. While I would love for her to, I'm going to let her take the lead on that. Since I first came out, she has been very willing to help me pick out dresses, explaining all the different styles and fabrics. She even put together a couple outfits, explaining why this top went with that skirt and not the other one. I'm hoping the next time we go shopping, after the holidays probably, when we go by the makeup counter, she'll ask if I want to look around like she still does when we are in the clothing sections.

Once again, thank you all for your great advice.

Stephanie

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Based on the fact that your wife has been very willing to help you pick out dresses, and explaining styles and fabrics to you, why not take one more little step with a request?

You could say, "next time we are in Sephora or Ulta, would you mind helping me select the right make up. I would appreciate your help."

[NancySue]

As we all know, it takes a lot of patience and practice to put on makeup. She sounds like she?s aboard.
Thought, why don?t you do the best you can applying makeup, then ask her for suggestions, help, advice, etc. This worked for me. Maybe after makeup, she might accept forms. Mine does. It?s great.

[Stephanie47]

I think she is giving you the green light to apply makeup. Heck, she is your fashion consultant when it comes to dresses. When you use the term MIAD I get the impression you're subconsciously or consciously attempting to not go too far; lack of pseudo breasts and wig. Ultimately, wouldn't you want the full experience? I suspect your wife thinks you're headed there but letting you decide when. Has she put limitations on how far you can go?

[StephanieLake]

Nancy,
I'm going to play it by ear on asking for her help. Funny story, sort of related. I have a green golf cart that we entered in a local Christmas parade. I was the Grinch. She did my makeup. She said last night she could tell I was enjoying her doing it, so who knows.

Stephanie,
It is a conscious attempt. A lot of what I do is not around her. When I'm out as a MIAD, I actually do have forms in. She doesn't know about those. Yet. Since she noticed me looking at makeup, I'm hoping she has noticed I've been looking at bras too lately. She has set limits, but has been relaxing them a little, like the makeup. After the Vegas trip with me wearing a skirt all day, she said don't get used to it. She is ok with me going out by myself now, although she's worried for my safety.

[Heather76]

Your wife is quite supportive of your desire to CD. She helps you put tops together for skirts. She explains why things go together or don't go together. She says she knows you want to get make-up. Your line of communication appears to be wide open. In that situation, I would definitely ask her if she'd care to help you learn how to properly apply make-up. Explain to her that if she does help, the money you save by not going to ULTA/Sephora will be just the right amount to take her out for a wonderful, intimate dinner. If she declines the chance to help you, thank her anyway and know you have permission to go to ULTA/Sephora unless she says otherwise.

[Karren H]

To me, that is good as a green light to go crazy! Lol. Not a stretch to say a boob job is cosmetic in nature?

[StephanieLake]

Karren,

I like the way you think.

[kimdl93]

Your wife certainly opened the door for more conversation. It would make sense to let her know you are interested in getting good quality makeup and ask for her help, both in selection and application.