Women are lucky

[Maria 60]

First of all I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. We have a big family and it's our tradition that during Christmas Day we try to drop in on our older reliatives houses. I was literally envious of how all the women were dressed. With there red leather skirts and beautiful holiday coloured dresses and black tights just all of them dressed to the nines. And there I was a dress shirt and black pants, I wasn't going to wear anything under but my wife convinced me to wear pantyhose, I guess I kind of felt a connection having the pantyhose on.
I asked my wife if women do appreciate the excitement of dressing for an occasion with all the bells and whistles. I guess I'm jealous I couldn't wear my red leather dress yesterday. I guess I'm just venting.

[jazmine]

Oh yeah. I know exactly where you,re coming from. I feel the same way most often.

[JohnH]

You have 12 days of Christmas. So it's still Christmas. Merry Christmas.

You describe how the women were dressed to the nines. I had a reverse situation where I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner. Everybody was dressed casually wearing jeans while I showed up wearing a dress, makeup and painted nails. The host even apologized for dressing so casually, that she said she should have worn a dress.

To be fair, I wear dresses more frequently than trousers. That includes shopping and church.

John

[docrobbysherry]

I don't agree, Maria. The LAST place I'd wish to dress is for a big, traditional, family event like Xmas. Making the occasion all about me instead of connecting and sharing it with family members I rarely see all year!

As my Xmas photos of Sherry testify, I do plenty of Xmas dressing in striking seasonal clothes on my own, in private, or out to T friendly venues in Dec!

[rachelatshop]

Merry Christmas Maria
What was you wife's answer?? I know I'm also jealous of all the ladies getting to dress up. Although I know my wife never has been one who really never wanted to get all dressed up, it was always a lot of work. I think she was turned off when she was young and her mother always insisted on getting all dressed up, and being shown off like a doll.

[Cheryl T]

I felt the same way yesterday.
One was wearing a really cute dress and black tights, 2 others with tunic tops, leggings and heeled boots. I felt so left out and so wanted to have worn a similar outfit. But alas, they are unaware and to keep the peace I was un-adorned.

[Diane P]

Maria I'm glad to hear that you havr such a supportive wife she at least suggested you wear pantyhose undet your male clothing.There are a lot of the gurls on here who either can't even let their wives know they dress or are in a DADT situation.

[GaleWarning]

On Christmas Day it really should be all about meeting and greeting family members one does not often get to see or socialise with. I was blessed to be able to share the day with my growing extended family, surrounded by children and grandchildren (and sundry animals!).

That said, I was pleasantly surprised to find my daughter in a dress! The last time that happened was probably the day she got married! But it was hot and humid here in NZ.

Best wishes to all here on cd.com

[alwayshave]

Maria, what was your wife's response to "I asked my wife if women do appreciate the excitement of dressing for an occasion with all the bells and whistles?"

[char GG]

I think she was turned off when she was young and her mother always insisted on getting all dressed up, and being shown off like a doll.

I don't think some men realize that this quote seemed to be "a thing" long ago. Our mom's made us wear dresses to family gatherings. Where the boys could wear playclothes and play outside, girls were relegated to the house (maybe helping in the kitchen - dishes) when we wished we could be playing outside. The boys weren't expected to help hand wash a pile of dirty dishes. So, we were jealous of the boys being able to have fun. Wearing dresses was not fun or exciting as a girl growing up in the 50's.

In the current times, kids wear whatever they want to family gatherings - and most people have automatic dishwashers.

So, women may be lucky to be able to wear dresses in some respects, however, many choose to dress casual. I don't see men going around wearing nice clothes or suits to gatherings. It's a casual world.

[Debbie Denier]

I know how you feel Maria and often feel the same But I don?t think dressing would be half as much fun for us if we were actually women .

[DianeT]

[...] - and most people have automatic dishwashers.

Except in American movies. Nobody ever uses an automatic dishwasher in American movies (nor a microwave oven). I suppose that having a chat in front of a humming device is less cinegenic than splashing and wiping plates.

Char, maybe you'll find solace in the thought that this little brat climbing the tree while you were stuck in the house may be writing in these columns nowadays and was, back then, red in the face, not because he was climbing a tree, but because he couldn't wear a dress like you.

[Bea_]

I am somewhat jealous of the clothes, but I appreciate the fact that my wife is the woman and I'm not. Women go through too many things that I don't envy... childbirth, cycles, menopause, etc. Many see their body drastically and permanently changed after having children. A lot of the clothes we covet, many women covet but cannot feel attractive in particular styles. My wife misses her youthful figure and all the clothes she could wear that don't work at all now. It's all perspective.

There are a lot of women who see other women as lucky for the styles that they can wear. And a lot of women see men as lucky for whole other reasons.

I did have a private celebration on Christmas morning by putting on a beautiful red sweater and nice leggings over my bra and panties and spending the whole morning before getting back to normal for a family gathering in the afternoon. While my wife barely acknowledged my outfit, it was nice to be comfortable in front of her with absolutely no tension. I felt lucky.

One other thing that I might point out is that women are "lucky" to be able to wear pants now because their grandmothers and great-grandmothers fought the legal battle against laws that made wearing pants illegal for them in many states and municipalities.

I am glad your wife acknowledged your preferences by suggesting the pantyhose. Many men covet that kind of support.

[JohnH]

I don't see men going around wearing nice clothes or suits to gatherings. It's a casual world.

Suits? I am so sick and tired of coats, ties, and trousers being the ONLY formal attire for men. WHAT A RUT MEN HAVE GOTTEN THEMSELVES INTO!
Yes, occasionally I will wear a coat and tie outfit, but I also wear dresses for formal wear.

And ties? They are called nooses but I like to call them gravy magnets. And much of the time if you soil a tie, you can't get the spot out and you might as well throw it away.

John

[Stephanie47]

As a boy of the 1950's I agree with Char (#10) that girls were highly discriminated against in the 1950's when it came to playtime. It seemed that females from little girls to aged adults were "required" by the social graces to dress up for family holidays and church. Female students had to wear dresses or skirts/blouses to school, even on freezing days when girls wore snow pants under their dresses to school and had to remove them after arriving. Playtime? Little girls could wear shorts in the summer until a certain age when they were expected to wear dresses. The family gatherings these days are casual. My wife and I wore Christmas graphic tee shirts and jeans. If I want to see women in dresses on a holidays I have to watch Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune.

[NancySue]

I totally get from where you?re coming. Things around here are pretty casual. Years ago we belonged to a couple old time social groups where black tie was mandatory for men and dressy cocktail dresses for women. It was fun a few times a year. I always envied her dressing, especially the lingerie part. She hated strapless underwire bra and pantyhose, still does. I usually wore thigh highs. Alas, those days are gone. It?s all casual now.

[Dutchess]

As a boy of the 1950's I agree with Char (#10) that girls were highly discriminated against in the 1950's when it came to playtime. It seemed that females from little girls to aged adults were "required" by the social graces to dress up for family holidays and church. Female students had to wear dresses or skirts/blouses to school, even on freezing days. Playtime? Little girls could wear shorts in the summer until a certain age when they were expected to wear dresses. /I].

I modified that to fit Texas( we didnt do snow pants of course but still .. ) where I grew up ( born 1962) and it stayed like that for us until the 70s !

Very grateful I am not defined by the clothes I have on . That a piece of clothing doesn't make or break me emotionally or otherwise .

I really admire John and Bea's approach to this .. I was thinking about that earlier .

Historically I've liked men who dressed differently from unisex haute couture to a tank top and a skirt but didn't think or wish they were women . I think its bold and gives of alot of confidence to do it and look good . Its actually very reasonable .. You stay you , they didnt lose themselves or imagine themselves to be someone else .
My second dresser companion/spouse was really this way and he was all the way out everyday and that was so much easier for me to live with .. there wasn't all this psychological stuff going on , pretending, or hiding either and he really looked good . He liked looking good and didn't care what anyone else was wearing .

I still don't like leggings on adults but that's for another time .

[Maid_Marion]

I now wear pretty skirts and dresses for parties to eat food when I have the opportunity to do so.

Marion

[DianeT]

I asked my wife if women do appreciate the excitement of dressing for an occasion with all the bells and whistles. I guess I'm jealous I couldn't wear my red leather dress yesterday.

I appreciated the days I used to wear suits and ties for the office, and I still do in some occasions that call for it (the tie excepted, more and more a thing of the past). When I do I can feel some pride being well dressed with clothes that make me look at my best. A nice dress shirt, an elegant watch, a clean hair cut, all participate to a sense of elegance that I enjoy for a few minutes, checking the mirror after getting ready (then I forget it and just live the event). I do this for my wife and for myself, and I know she likes it, and she says so, and that makes me feel good.
I miss the days when people did put some effort on their attire when going to events, to the living theater, or a concert. I'm not talking tuxedo, but just selecting the clothes carefully. It made the occasion a bit more special. Nowadays, more people tend to go to these special places dressed as they would to watch TV, which lessens the magic in my opinion.
When I dress as a woman, and it comes together, and the result looks good in the mirror, I get a similar sense of pride. Boy mode, girl mode, doesn't really change the feeling. Men are lucky too.

[audreyinalbany]

there was a time when we would go to dinner dances a couple times a year that were, while not 'formal' per se, were at least 'dressy.' I'd love to be able to go out for New Years wearing a nice cocktail dress and go out on the dane floor with the GG's. (the guys all dance very reluctantly) I find it interesting that my wife will often see a dress at a shop and say' it's so pretty, but I don't have anyplace to wear it.,' and I feel exactly he same way. My everyday women clothes at least get used once in a while, but the really nice dresses pretty much stay in the closet.

p.s I'm with Diane on this too that I don't mind in the least getting dressed up in guy mode. Suit, tie...the Mrs likes the look and I do as well...but it'd be nice to be able to cross over to her lane occasionally and get girl glammed....

[Christie ann]

I’ve told my wife this when we go to weddings. She is in this beautiful flowy dress while I am wearing long pants, long sleeve shirt with a coat and this thing around my neck trying to strangle me. In the summer!

[Bea_]

I still don't like leggings on adults but that's for another time .

I find this to be interesting. My adult daughter hates leggings and skinny jeans. She doesn't wear much makeup and I enjoy a touch of makeup. She is one of the most balanced people, male of female, that I know. I would say that she's probably at the top of my most admired women even though I think she'd be totally disappointed to know that her dad was a contributing member here on the forum.

I admire most women in leggings/yoga pants even if they don't have the perfect body for it. Women (and crossdressers) can definitely miss the mark on styling an outfit including leggings but the leggings usually are not the issue (in my mind). I feel like I give people a lot of leeway in choosing their personal style and it's more combinations of items rather than the items themselves that get positive notice from me.

I love wearing leggings and I'm enjoying the weather right now more than I have in the past winters because it makes leggings the perfect thing to wear around the house.

[Jane G]

I would love to dress to the nines as a woman and head out to the theatre or a concert. Circumstances mean I probably never will. But I can dress up to the nines as a male, for such occasions and I do.. Richard Gere eat you heart out..

[Karren H]

I?ve told my wife this when we go to weddings. She is in this beautiful flowy dress while I am wearing long pants, long sleeve shirt with a coat and this thing around my neck trying to strangle me. In the summer!

Your wifes sister, my wife thinks that women are unlucky being forced to dress up for occasions and for work. Would not have to force me! Sigh.

[Deborah G]

Back when I was working in an office environment, and a dress code was in place, both men and women complained for different reasons about the code. When we went business casual, I recall very few people adhering to the old code of suits and ties for the men, and dresses and skirts for the women. Today most dress for function, comfort, and some still adhere to a style and what is considered acceptable for certain occasions. If I chose to wear a dress to a family gathering today, I probably would be the only one doing so,which may raise more eyebrows than usual! That said, it should be up to the everyone to wear what they wish to wear.