Dreaming???..

[BustyOlivia]

I don?t know about you girls but I long to find a friend close by that understands having two sides to you. I?ve dreamt of a time where I can be Olivia and interact with them as myself! Ahhhhhhhh if only! Anyone ever done this IRL? I?d be cuing you had fun or if it?s just a pipe dream

XoXOlivia

[Emily in the south]

Would absolutely love to have a girlfriend nearby, locally, to chat, share, shop, and do fun things with. Currently, I have to drive at least 2 1/2 hours for that in real life.

I suppose I am lucky to have that, and my circle of friends keeps growing all the time.

Emily

[GretchenM]

I regularly communicate via email with two people that experience that duality that you are referring to. We can easily discuss "guy things" or "girl things" in the same email because we each accept that our total identity is composed of two more or less different portions that are functionally connected. We operate on the Total and not the separates, but we can comfortably discuss most anything when using the separates.

The key is to not think in terms of a dichotomy but rather as an assembly that constitutes our complete identities. Right now my identity is ambiguous due to testosterone suppression due to prostate cancer. It is weird. I don't really feel any urge to outwardly express the male-like or the female-like in the way of dressing; I just wear clothes. But in my brain there is still a separation although the male-like part of the total identity is pretty vague when it comes to behavior and the female-like isn't all that strong either. It is pretty much a neutral state. Goes to show how much hormones in the context of social behavior expectations is involved in the sensing and the expression of our sense of gender identity in whatever form it takes. The hormones are a major chunk of that but are not the deciders; that function exists in the brain.

As I live more and more in a world of more female-like behavior the desire to express that outwardly may increase in time. I am expected to remain on testosterone suppression for the next 23 months (already have 1 month) so there is plenty of time to see what happens physically, medically, and psychologically. But communication as Gretchen is still fully available and I don't expect that to change. But communication in my male name mode is a bit more difficult because it is so weak even though still active.

[Michaela Jane]

I would too. Maybe the trick of finding someone local is to add your location, as many of us do.

[bridget thronton]

I have done that with 4 women friends in Second Life (who I also knew in real life) - but I do not see them every often these days

[Geena75]

I've been looking for that for years. Even when I find someone in my area who has a similar view/goal of this "peculiar pastime" it is nigh impossible to coordinate schedules. I'm sure that eventually things will open up for me.

[Stephanie47]

When my wife and I had "The Talk" in the early 1980's she said it was alright with her if I found a support group. I looked and none was found. Forty years later I still search but have lost the need to interact with like-minded individuals. I find it difficult to image having a friend who would be accepting of me showing up one day unshaven wearing jeans and a graphic tee shirt and the next day wearing a dress and heels, makeup and a wig.

[docrobbysherry]

That's what Frankenfurter says in Rocky Horror. And, I took his message to heart!

After 10 years of dressing in complete solitude I came out online here and attended my 1st SCC trans conference in Atlanta. Where I met other T's for the 1st time. Maybe 50 from here on CD.com!

What followed was meeting nearby dressers in clubs, bars, and events in towns near where I live, but NEVER where I live!

Now, I have a T buddy to go to these places with. We're going to a vanilla, Asian dance club tonite!

We've even dressed out in other countries we've visited. Yet, I still consider myself a closet dresser because I don't go out dressed at home!

Don't dream it, be it!

[Cheryl T]

Before we retired we were part of a support group and I had many friends there both GG and CD. The group would do a dinner and movie night every few months and we would get together and go shopping at least once a month with a few of the ladies.
Now where we live I don't have that and wish for the same. It would be so nice to have a girl friend close by to meet with and do things on occasion. Haven't had any success finding anyone so far, but the hunt continues.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Olivia, Keep looking, That special Freind is out there for you,

[Rachelakld]

I have that friend, we used to have coffee and chat about nuclear fusion, heavy elements, gravity waves, Star Trek, latest dress trends etc or go for a walk about once every 2 months. Now Covid is a thing of the past, she's often overseas for months and I'm out of town a bit more than usual so the last 18 months we haven't been as regular as we used to.

I think for us, we need to find someone into crossdressing and also has another similar interest in something.

[kimdl93]

Used to. Once I retired and moved back closer to home those connections have kinda fallen to the wayside. We are still friends, but have not seen each other IRL for five years.

[alwayshave]

BustyOlivia, I belong to a couple of meetup groups. I head to different meetups and enjoy the company of other CDers.

[Melani65]

I also found friends and support groups through meet up. Both Pa and Fl had very active groups, odd though not one where I live now, but no worries I have found other ways to find nice friends. You just need to be patient and look through non-creepy sites. As always be safe meet somewhere safe and never give out personal details. And never go outside your comfort zone, that won't be fun. And is supposed to be all about fun.

[Jenn A116]

I've been fortunate to connect with some friends through my local support group. Of course the big step is to actually go out to one of those meetings and introduce yourself.

[Sasha_inside]

I have been trying to find someone local to talk with as well. Like Melani mentioned there are some creepy sites and definitely some odd people you end up talking with.

[Corynn77]

BustyOlivia, I belong to a couple of meetup groups. I head to different meetups and enjoy the company of other CDers.

Where it would be so much fun to spend time with other CD?S

[Robyn n TN]

I regularly go out in public, 2 to 4 times a week. I have met a lot of people who I spend a lot of time with while out and a lot of those are women. I have a group of women that I spend time with a bunch and they invite me to do things with them from parties, pool time, and just hanging out. It is a great feeling to fit in with people who are different than me and be loved by them. I also go to a bar at least once a week and the regulars have told me many times that I am in the family that they will stand up to anyone who gives me a hard time. There are people out there who want to be friends with us but my experience is it happens easiest if I don't come in with an adversarial attitude and allow others to get to know me.

[BustyOlivia]

I want to thank each and every one of you for your encouragement to find a friend. I will try to add my location too and see what could happen! I like being able to be myself here. I feel truly as some of you that I am made of two halves. In my culture we call it mahu (two spirits) and in recent years I?ve come to accept there are two sides of me and that I become whoever I what when I want (well as much as possible in a DADT)