My mind

[Maria 60]

I haven't been going on my Friday drives for a while, our neighborhood has been hit with car jackings and home invasions. The last time I went my wife had all the lights on the house and feeling uncomfortable so I desided to stop going. During the week my wife was staying at her parents house for a few days and when I was leaving she told me since she wasn't home her car needed gas and I should dress up and go. Well you know I did and it felt good to feel some outdoor air, even though I don't do much except maybe put gas or vacuum the car or put air in a tire that doesn't need air, but just feeling the outdoor air feels so good.
Well once I tested the waters again you know now I want to jump in. During the day yesterday my wife was coming home and she wanted to have a quit relaxing night, I automatically thought maybe I could go out again and give her space and my mind started racing. This is my point of why I'm writing this, my mind started planning and timing things out, when I get home on Fridays it's usually a few beers and a few glasses of wine with dinner, instead I didn't want alcohol in my system in case I wanted to go for a drive. I calculated everything out, did all my chores so I would leave a window of opportunity for me to go out. When my wife asked me why I wasn't drinking wine with dinner I told her I was thinking of giving her the night to relax alone and I would go for a drive. Instead the look on her face was she was probably hoping to go to bed early but with me out she probably wouldn't sleep. So I decided not go. My point is I couldn't believe how my mind was working yesterday, making sure I had all chores and things done to make sure I could have went out. If I would put that effort into other things maybe I would be a genius of millionaire.
Strange how our minds work, it must be worth all that effort

[Suzie Petersen]

Maria,

I don't know if there is a good explanation for why we can get so wrapped up in this, but you are certainly not alone in that. There are different definitions of the Pink Fog, but to me this falls under that same umbrella. We get in this mindset and can sometimes barely function until the need has been filled, whatever it might be that time.
It is hard to justify this behavior, especially to an unaccepting spouse who sees the Honey Do list items largely left unattended, but "he" is in his zone being pretty and trying on 20 outfits in an afternoon. No wonder they get fed up with that sometimes.

I am supposed to work on our old house to get it ready for sale, but I keep letting myself be distracted because of the rare freedom I have, being here alone. I have actually gotten a lot of work done, but I have been in girl mode 95% of the time doing it. That's fine, if it wasn't for the other 19 outfits I "have to" try on before evening, so I am probably only working 50% of the awake time.

I am putting together a picture post from the Girl Work time here and you will see a lot of pictures and a lot of time spent on hair and makeup.
Of course I know I shouldn't be distracted from the work but I cant help it, it is just so addictive!
At least I have to stay at the house because there are neighbors all around, but OMG I would be out all the time if I could.

I also wanted to say Good for you deciding to stay home when your wife was uncomfortable being alone. Definitely the right thing to do, and proof that how ever deep in that pink fog you got, thinking about going for a drive, your love for your wife still came first. Wonderful to see.

- Suzie

[bridget thronton]

Sorry that your neighborhood is being targeted (hope the bad people move on soon) - good for thinking of your wife's safety and staying home.

[docrobbysherry]

Excellent post, Maria. It made me recall how many times I've read about dresser's who find dressing "relaxing". While I tend to find it anything but!

When I plan to dress it's for an outing or a shoot I start visualing it all in my mind. As u were doing. That's not relaxing for me. Deep, detailed concentration feels like work for me.

However, these periods of detailed mental organising and planning r very distracting and all the usual clutter and noise going on in my head is swept away!

Maybe when some dressers say they find dressing relaxing they mean it's distracting and clears the worrying buzz out of their minds?

[char GG]

Very nice of you to consider your wife's feelings Maria.

Could there be a compromise?

Since she knows all about Maria, could your wife join you on your drives?

Does it have to be Fridays?

Could it be a different night that works for both of you?

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I live in a lousy neighborhood, but we've never had any problems because the neighborhood is afraid of us, both for real and imaginary reasons. Can't go into details here due to rules, but I'm happy to share privately if anyone wants.

[alwayshave]

Maria, I lived I what the realtor described as an up and coming neighborhood in Washington DC. There was a multigenerational crime family right down the street that would steal anything that wasn't bolted down. I use to worry about my wife when I was at work. So you did the right thing.

[CarlaWestin]

Back in the old neighborhood we learned that gated community meant there was a gate as there were several break-ins.
Now we live in a splendid, "Try that in a small town!" community. If you know what I mean.

[Jane G]

All that time to plan and you binned it all to stay in and be with your wife. Tells us so much about you and yours. Enjoy your crossdressing, but you clearly know what comes first in your life. A life partner is something very hard to replace. Sad to read about the local situation with car jacking etc. Hopefully those idiots will move on and you can get back to enjoying your free time out.