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Thread: Venturing outside

  1. #1
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    Venturing outside

    Who has been out in public and what was it like the first time.

  2. #2
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    It was terrifying - but nothing bad happened (I do not go out often, but when I do people are friendly)

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    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Verona, I was petrified the first time, but got comfortable pretty quickly. The misconceived ideas about what will happen are quickly replaced with the reality that no one cares.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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    That is comforting
    Do you go out often
    Last edited by char GG; 05-11-2024 at 04:33 PM. Reason: Please, not necessary to quote the post just before yours

  5. #5
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Omg, I remember the first step outside. I was fully dressed and made up, and needed to move the sprinkler. Just decided to go for out and do it. But that one step broke the ice. Within a day or two I was shopping, having coffee and meeting friends for drinks.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

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    That?s amazing Kim.
    I don?t think I could go and meet others as I don?t want anyone that knows me finding out. I guess I?d have to make new friends and visit their town etc

  7. #7
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Verona,

    It depends upon what you mean by public. many of us started with night time drives, perhaps stopping to quickly walk away from the car. So scary at the time. Move on and it's out in daylight but in quiet places with little chance of bumping into someone. Still scary especially if someone say a dog walker appeared. Then there's the full on, out in full sight of folks, going shopping mode.

    I've related this tale many times. Sat in the car in the car park outside the shops. Determined not to chicken out, hand poised on the door handle. After a few moments that seemed like hours, door opened and stepped out into full view. Coat and bag rescued off the back seat, coat on and hair flicked into place over collar, bag on shoulder, remember to lock car, and then head off towards the nearest store. Butterflies like vultures, nervous as hell, entering the store expecting to be pounced on by security or greeted with gales of laughter and pointed fingers but......nothing. Started to scan the racks getting calmer by the minute. After ten minutes I'm in my second shop, all's good. Still a little nerves but getting less all the time.

    The trick is be confident, don't skulk, you look like a shop lifter. Folks are too busy with their own day to take much notice. Dress like all the other shoppers. Micro skirt and 6" heels will get you noticed. Dress to blend and that's what you'll do. Going glam is for another time and place.

    And that's your other option. Going to an LGBTQ friendly bar/pub. Being a little more outrageous is more the norm but I'd still tone it down a little the first time out. Whatever you choose, you will be nervous, it's natural. But it will fade and you will find folks are generally not taking much notice. never had a problem in all the times I've been out.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #8
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Oh my God, I was terrified and so excited! It is a long long time ago, I was just a teenager and just out walking around in the middle of the night.
    Many outings since that first one, it gets easier, but if you cannot do it very often, there is like a learning curve every time in my experience.
    As other had said, be confident, look like you belong, and hold your head high. If you try and hide, people are going to pick up on it and think something is wrong.

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    Terrifying but exhilarating.

    First time was to get a make over. This was a very safe environment. It was my second visit (first time was in drab). Second visit I went all in. The beauty salon was very low stress and I was accepted as one of the girls. No negative reaction from anyone there (it was quite a busy salon - lots of GGs there).

    After the makeover was finished, I sat and stared in the mirror. I started to see a girl in there. Any and all of the feminine features I had were enhanced. I was awe struck. I started to think this is the best it's ever going to get, we need to test it out. Let's go to one of the busiest malls in the city.

    Now this was scary. Hostile territory. If there is a mob with pitchforks and torches I'll find them here. Initially I was clocked by a couple of women. Nasty stares. I almost panicked and backed out at this point but thought this was my most important opportunity to really try this out. Fail here and it screws up future outings. A couple of deep breaths and on I went. I started to own it a lot more like I didn't care about what anyone thought. From this point forward everything was great. I kept looking for negative reactions but didn't see any. Nobody seemed to notice me. It was like I was invisible (I blended in pretty good I guess). WOW!. It was clear sailing for the rest of my walk. I was checked out by a few guys the way guys do (oh you rascals...). On the way out I went through a major department store and there was the makeup counter. I figured if I was going to be clocked, the girls here would do it. I strolled right through without any reaction. Whew. All in all not too bad.

    This gave me confidence for future outings. I don't know how many people I fool (not all for sure). Many just aren't interested enough to care. I've walked other malls, been out to the theater (saw Eddie Izzard one night). Been out to LGTBQ events and had fun. Volunteered at a pride festival one day and mingled while dressed, some interesting interactions (none bad).

    Here is my best advice if you are thinking about doing this. Halloween! It is my one go-to, never-miss outing. I love it. Wife and I usually go out for dinner first, then a party in a bar of some type. Always had a good time. Out and about mingling with the masses, proud and bold. Low stress, take no prisoners. What fun.
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 05-11-2024 at 09:55 AM.
    Why fit in when you were born to stand out? - Dr. Suess

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
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    My first time I almost did not get out of the car and I did go back into the car before just taking a deep breath and going to a LGBT friendly bar to meet some tgirls. Heart pounding avoiding eye contact I proceeded and wow it felt great! It took several outings before it became comfortable but today I go out a couple times a month to meet friends for dinner or go to a tgirl event and I do not even look to see if there are reactions around me and I am guessing there are not many, people are busy doing their own thing.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetdreams View Post
    Terrifying but exhilarating.

    First time was to get a make over. This was a very safe environment. It was my second visit (first time was in drab). Second visit I went all in. The beauty salon was very low stress and I was accepted as one of the girls. No negative reaction from anyone there (it was quite a busy salon - lots of GGs there).

    After the makeover was finished, I sat and stared in the mirror. I started to see a girl in there. Any and all of the feminine features I had were enhanced. I was awe struck. I started to think this is the best it's ever going to get, we need to test it out. Let's go to one of the busiest malls in the city.

    Now this was scary. Hostile territory. If there is a mob with pitchforks and torches I'll find them here. Initially I was clocked by a couple of women. Nasty stares. I almost panicked and backed out at this point but thought this was my most important opportunity to really try this out. Fail here and it screws up future outings. A couple of deep breaths and on I went. I started to own it a lot more like I didn't care about what anyone thought. From this point forward everything was great. I kept looking for negative reactions but didn't see any. Nobody seemed to notice me. It was like I was invisible (I blended in pretty good I guess). WOW!. It was clear sailing for the rest of my walk. I was checked out by a few guys the way guys do (oh you rascals...). On the way out I went through a major department store and there was the makeup counter. I figured if I was going to be clocked, the girls here would do it. I strolled right through without any reaction. Whew. All in all not too bad.

    This gave me confidence for future outings. I don't know how many people I fool (not all for sure). Many just aren't interested enough to care. I've walked other malls, been out to the theater (saw Eddie Izzard one night). Been out to LGTBQ events and had fun. Volunteered at a pride festival one day and mingled while dressed, some interesting interactions (none bad).

    Here is my best advice if you are thinking about doing this. Halloween! It is my one go-to, never-miss outing. I love it. Wife and I usually go out for dinner first, then a party in a bar of some type. Always had a good time. Out and about mingling with the masses, proud and bold. Low stress, take no prisoners. What fun.
    Loved reading this
    Halloween is a fantastic idea
    Thank you

  12. #12
    Stephanie Lake StephanieLake's Avatar
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    It's scary as heck the first time, but it gets less scary with each successive outing. Take the plunge, you won't regret it!
    Dressing up. There's never a wrong time for it, just enjoy being you.

  13. #13
    Hot Geezer Girl docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    There's that moment before I open my hotel room door dressed to the 9's. Then again when the elevator door opens on the teeming casino floor!

    I've done this countless times before but my heart is always in my throat the first time I do it yet again!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
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    Universally I think we all terrified that first time or 3. It gets easier every time. I get out 4 or 5 times a year, per an agreement with the wife. I was out earlier this week, met a friend for lunch went to the post office, did some shopping. A great day overall, still there are times you feel a little nervous. Get out and enjoy.
    Sara

  15. #15
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    The thought of going out was much more terrifying than actually going out.

    The first time I went out dressed I went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. It's an affirming venue where a lot of people are in period costumes, but primarily same gendered costumes.

    I did a lot of prep work prior to going so that I would be well prepared for contingencies.

    I rented a "wench" costume and I walked out and about among thousands of muggles, plus a few other random CDs. If I had any fear, it was alleviated when I got to the costume shop. The GGs that ran the shop were so affirming and even helped me lace up my bodice, which I think the did for all "wenches".

    I had planned on getting the "Fair Maiden" costume, which included a "full tapestry bodice". The costume lady advised me to get the "Wench" costume instead which included a "tapestry waist cincher" instead of the "full tapestry bodice". I forget the exact words she used but she said that the "full, tapestry bodice" would become very uncomfortable after wearing it for a full day.

    There were a few kind of scary moments, but they weren't really too concerning. Since I was among thousands of people in the open, I didn't think anything bad would happen. There were many more positive moments. My favorite was when I was passing a group of GGs coming towards me. At least one of the GGs made me, and give me a big smile. Not to be intimidated, I gave her a big smile back. She gave me a thumbs up as we passed each other.

    While not necessarily for everyone, I had a great time, and I went back to the Renn Fest several more times "in costume".
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 05-11-2024 at 04:18 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  16. #16
    Member Robyn n TN's Avatar
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    My first time going out in public was with a new trans friend who I had just met and she took me to dinner at a Brewery in Ashville NC then to a college bar. I was scared to death. I had only been dressing for less than 3 months. The next day she took me out for lunch then to the MAC counter at the mall. I got to sit in the big chair in front of everyone... It was terrifying but the experience gave me the courage to go back out very quickly after that trip. Now I go out 2 to 4 times a week and even travel as Robyn. I agree with a lot of the posts that it is not as adversarial out there as we initially think. Enjoy the moment.
    " I have to tell you, sweetheart, my breasts are as smooth and beautiful as the day that I bought them " Lola from Kinky Boots

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    My first time was scary I made an appointment at a wig shop, I needed to replace my cheap wig. A couple day before I went into the local Ulta store to get makeup. That was aslo kind of scary but the s/a made me feel much more comfortable, she was a MAC makeup artist her name was Allie. When I told her I had a wigg appointment she told me to come back after I got my wig and she?d give me a makeover.
    Another customer at the wig store told me ?get out there and have some fun? as I was leaving wearing my new wig. That made me feel much more relaxed! I?ve haven?t had a bad experience going out dressed, even going out with my best friend who can?t go anywhere without running into some who knows her.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Verona View Post
    That is comforting
    Do you go out often
    Yes, I go out about every other month.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  19. #19
    Member Brenda Locke's Avatar
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    Yes, the first time out was scary to say the least. Since then its gotten easier. Once you realize nobody really cares or they are wrapped up with their own thing. So if your dressed to blend and not flashy or trashy no one will give you a second look. Just enjoy the moment and do your own thing.
    Hugs Brenda.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn n TN View Post
    My first time going out in public was with a new trans friend who I had just met and she took me to dinner at a Brewery in Ashville NC then to a college bar. I was scared to death. I had only been dressing for less than 3 months.

    The next day she took me out for lunch then to the MAC counter at the mall. I got to sit in the big chair in front of everyone... It was terrifying but the experience gave me the courage to go back out very quickly after that trip.

    Now I go out 2 to 4 times a week and even travel as Robyn. I agree with a lot of the posts that it is not as adversarial out there as we initially think. Enjoy the moment.
    One of the first time out, I met up with a local T-Girl who I met online here.

    I remember the first time I went to the MAC store and sat in "The Girls Seat" in the middle of everyone. I'm glad that I had a wing woman with me.

    I also went to a wig shop as Steffi. I spent part of the time out in the open and part of the time in their private room. I found out afterwards from another CD client that I met that the husband of the SA I saw was a CD.

    I this the scariest early outing was went to my first pedicure at a salon. I did a lot of recon to find the salon. I wanted one that was not near where I lived, not near where I worked, not in a mall, didn't have big picture window for lookie loos walking by and had nearby parking so I could leave the salon with open toed sandals and painted nails so I could walk back to my car without getting clocked.

    Everything went fine until it came time to painting the toes. My foot started shaking so hard that the nail tech couldn't paint my toes. I needed to do some relaxation breathing to stop my feet from shaking. Since that first pedicure, I've gone to half a dozen different salons, many times as a walk-in. My wife has neve seen my painted toe nails (thanks to promiscuous wearing of socks), but I've gone to yoga class many times with painted toes. At first, I'd try to hide myself in the back o9f the yoga studio. Eventually, I would set up my mat anywhere, like a dude with painted nails was the most normal thing in the world. I asked one of my yoga instructors what color nail polish she was wearing. Another time, a different yoga instructor and I had a side bet about who could/would wear the best ocean blue nail polish

    It's so much more fun when you have a partner in crime.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 05-12-2024 at 01:25 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  21. #21
    Shoes glorious shoes rachellegsep's Avatar
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    !st time was at a friends themed birthday party with my wife. I've done this several times over the years, being to careful not to do it to often unless specifically asked to avoid a pattern emerging. I did however go once to another city (university town) for a weekend visit to a cd friend who was fully out in the area. After dressing up the 1st night and taking pics of each other in different outfits inside, he suggested some more pics the next day outside in the gardens. At 1st I was terrified as we were clearly visible from the street and neighbors. However once I calmed down, realising no one would know me, it was great fun. In fact on a later visit we even went out to a student bar and got chatting to some girls who asked to join us at our table outside. One of them knew my friend. When it came going to the toilets I was worried. I mentioned that in conversation we might have to go as obviously the Gents was out of the question. One of them grabbed my hand and said put on your big girl panties, you are coming with us. My 1st visit enfemme to the ladies with 4 other girls. One even touched up my make up in the basin counter area. Later that evening we went down the street with them to a Pizza joint sitting down at at table and sharing Pizza's before heading home. My most memorable outing.
    In search of muliebrity

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. #22
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    It's hard to take that first step it gets easier with each step you take. It helped me the first time by getting a make over at a Cross dressing friendly salon.

  23. #23
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    My first time out was horrible. It scared me back into the closet for about a year. My second time out was wonderful. I was pretty much out every weekend after that for quite a while. Now ive Slowed down a little just naturally as i'm getting older. I think you have to go out at least 3 or 4 times before. You can make a real decision if it's good to be out or not. If you're not getting anywhere after a few times then maybe it's not for you.

    You cant judge it on one experience. Or even 2, that's why I say. Try it a few times before deciding if it can work
    I also say this to lower your initial expectation. So that if it does go bad and it likely will you won't give up so easily.

    Maybe it will go okay, I hope it does. I can only relate my first experience and I mean, my first time out just to go out as opposed to a few halloweens or whatever. It wasn't actually my first time out but it was my first time I went to go out as a girl. I'm Going Out to be out as a girl. It wasnt there's a party and I can be a girl there because of some random situation. Those don't count those usually go well on the first try.

    Asking me several decades later. What's it like to be out? It's just normal. A more relevant question might be what's it like when you're not out? Those are the ho hum boring moments of life. Life with Gen tends to get interesting and it's always more fun.
    Last edited by Genifer Teal; 05-12-2024 at 08:56 AM.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    It was nerve wrecking, but my first time was also at the local Pride event so I didn't have to worry about too many weird looks there. Once I got comfortable at the event, I was free and easy... even though my southern belle dress didn't blend in too well with the rest of the crowd!

  25. #25
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    I remember sitting at the gas pump working up enough nerve to fill the tank feeling the socks in mom's bra under layers of shirts and a jacket.
    Sherry, I'm not sure if Vegas really counts as normal public. I never got the sexy french maid picture at the Welcome sign like I wanted but I barely got noticed no matter what I was wearing it seemed like.

    1991p.JPG
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

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