Did I get caught??

[Jenniferp18]

First off I?m defiantly in the closet and my SO would definitely be a DADT person. Last year we attended a wedding and she wore a bodycon type dress that I drooled over when she bought it and couldn?t wait to put it on myself. The wedding was out of town and we stayed at a hotel that evening. To this day she says that?s the drunkest that she?s ever saw me. When we got back the hotel she said needed a shower. When the water turned on I couldn?t help myself and threw on her dress! All of the sudden I heard the bathroom door start to open and I pulled the dress over my head as fast as I could but I tripped and fell on the couch and had the dress under me. My heart was pounding so fast! She said what in the world are you doing? I said I tripped and fell. She got in the shower and never said anything else about it. A couple weeks later I picked our dry cleaning which included our wedding clothes. There was also another dress of hers that I?d worn a few times before too. Her dresses and my clothes were covered together under the plastic that the dry cleaners put over it. I went to hang them up (we both have walk in closets) and asked were she wanted her dresses. She said just keep them all together and hang them in your closet. I?ve never thought about it until recently but do you think it?s possible she saw me in it that night and doesn?t want it now?

[Traci H]

My first thought was no, she just is taking the easy route and keeping things under one wrap with less in her closet. I based this on something my wife might do and it just seemed logical. You of course know your wife?s thoughts better and may read more into it.

[docrobbysherry]

U referred to DADT, Jenn. Some dressers here thinks that means, HC and L. Hide, Cheat, and Lie. It doesn't!

Actual DADT is an arrangement couples discuss before implementing it!

[char GG]

I think you did get caught and she may be waiting for you to make the first move to talk about it.

Don't wait too long. There are many threads here about talking to your SO about agreements and perhaps, compromises.

[Jenniferp18]

Im not sure how I would even bring it up at this point. I can see her being a Dont Ask Dont Tell type rather than talk about it. I?ve made hidden comments after this happened. Shes more or less the bread winner if will of our household and I jokingly said once that I should just retire and do all the house cleaning and cooking and that it would be like her having a personal maid to take care of her. We both laughed until I said I could even get a maids uniform to wear and she stopped laughing and said uhh no I would vomit seeing that.

[kimdl93]

Anything is possible, However, I think if she no longer wanted any of those dresses she would get them out of the house rather than have them dry cleaned for storage in your closet.

[Jenniferp18]

I would agree KimdI93 but there has a couple times since then that she has needed a dress to wear. I asked her about one of the dresses in my closet and she said no and that she didn?t like the way they look on her anymore.

[SylphDevine]

That's the time to ask if you can keep and wear them.

No time like the present. I'd inhale sharply and give it a whirl...the worst she could say is "no", but the most exciting thing she could say is:

"Sure"

[_jenni_]

Nah, you didn?t get caught. You may feel like it but you didn?t.

[Elizabeth G]

That's the time to ask if you can keep and wear them.

No time like the present. I'd inhale sharply and give it a whirl...the worst she could say is "no", but the most exciting thing she could say is:

"Sure"

Or maybe "I'm outta here"

[Bea_]

Sounds like a place to start a conversation. She could have a new aversion to the dresses or she could just be being more generous or it could be both.

[Tracy Irving]

Probably not, but keep dropping those subtle (and not so subtle) hints.

It may not work for everybody, but it worked for me. It just takes time.

The all or nothing method might not be appreciated and could lead to disaster.

Ultimately, you need to find what works best for you.

[CharlotteCD]

Dropping subtle and not subtle hints is, based on responses I've seen from GG's and partners, not a good way to go about things.

The drip, drip, drip method is not appreciated.

[Rhonda Darling]

Jennifer, I agree with Sherry (DocRobbySherry) and Char GG’s points. Also, based on what you said was her revulsion (my word) based response about your suggestion that you could get and wear a maid’s uniform, I sense that your wife is actually a NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) type. You should talk to her and have the conversion, but if you decide to have the talk, read and use the resources available on this site, including writing out what you want to say, and have at the ready a list of resources she can read and ponder as your conversation goes forward.

My warning: In many parts of the US there is a resurgence of anti-TG/TS/CD sentiment. Many people now think that all of us are Drag Queens who want to lead Drag Queen story-hours for children in schools and libraries, or trans M2F who want to compete against genetic girls and women in sports, both of which are being vilified in some of the news and public on-line forums. If your wife aligns with the general vilification, she may well view you through the same lens.

I hope that’s not the case, but nevertheless urge you to proceed with great caution. That said, there are many of us here who have very accepting wives/SOs/girl friends and enjoy their support of our lifestyle.

[SophiaRose]

I would agree KimdI93 but there has a couple times since then that she has needed a dress to wear. I asked her about one of the dresses in my closet and she said no and that she didn?t like the way they look on her anymore.

So she normally keeps some of her overflow clothing in your closet? If so, I wouldn't assume you've been caught. A-lot depends on her tone of voice when telling you to hang them in your closet. Only you know that one. After hiding things for so long I often have to remind myself not to panic or catastrophize. More often than not it's all in our heads.

[Jenniferp18]

No she doesn?t keep any overflow in my closet, just those two dresses. New update: This weekend she was looking for a dress and I asked if it was one of the ones my closet. She said no and then I made the comment that I wondered if our house cleaner has seen those dresses in my closet and thinks I?m a crossdresser. I purposely hung them up where they are slightly visible when you walk in and one stands out bc it?s bright pink. She laughed and said that I doubt that she?s looking through your closet and trust me no one would want to envision that scenario.

[Angie G]

You mayhave been. It may be time to go fishin
angi


.

[daphne g]

Did you fall over into the Drees.

[Jenniferp18]

It was a bodycon type mini dress so it’s a lycra spandex type material. I had it on all the way and was tugging down the sides when I heard the door open. The hotel was set up with a hallway with bathroom door first then it opened up into lounge area with couch, table, and tv then bedroom was at the end. I was in the lounge area and when I heard the door start to open. I quickly turned away while pulling the dress over my head like a tshirt and tripped over a suitcase and fell to my knees against the couch. I’m pretty sure the long sleeves were still on my wrists but the rest was under my chest. I just don’t know how she didn’t see me with it halfway off unless she was looking down as she came out.

[DianeT]

To be caught, or not to be caught. That is the CDer's question.
Of course you could ask your wife. "Why do you want your dresses hanged in my closet?".
A straight and simple question may get you a straight and simple answer. But you may want to prepare yourself a bit before that (like, reading the How to tell sticky).