From accepting wife to feeling like a weirdo

[DianeT]

In my experience, people intoxicated tend to blurt out truths that they wouldn't otherwise. I think your wife resents the dressing to some point. And that's normal. As a wife, seeing my husband dressed as a girl would probably push a few of my buttons, too. I know my wife is puzzled by my dressing and resents a few aspects of it. And again, that's okay, wives aren't supernatural beings, they're human. They cope with our proclivity to the best they can, out of their love for us. My wife does extraordinary things to make me feel accepted. So, as hurtful it was for you to hear what you heard, remember that your wife loves you deeply or she wouldn't have done all these things for you. Just talk to her and see that your dressing doesn't overwhelm her, maybe discuss boundaries again. If she remembers them, she probably regrets already the things she said. But she, you, we, are just humans. We do mistakes. Forgive her. And when you are ready, talk to her.

[RoseReve]

Hello,
reading the most recent posts made me think that maybe there is a kind of psychological pattern by some women married to husbands who explore the feminine side: at first they try to be supportive, out of love, comprehension, maybe curiosity...But at the same time there can be in their subconscious a growing fear of the wedding relationship being somewhat threatened by the crossdressing habit and/or growing impersonation of a woman by the husband.
And like in many subconscious processes, there can come a time when the subconscious is stronger and overwhelms the conscious goodwill.
Verona's story, JulieC's one, and an episode I had to live through in my own couple, tend to indicate it...And I also read similar stories in another thread...

[krissy]

My ex used to enjoy my dressing even took me on walks but we broke up her sister was staying with us she told her sister about me then a week later she hid some of my wifes
sexy clothes and told my ex she saw me steal them she didn't believe me and left. but when i moved out i found the halter tops and bras and panties under my wifes and my bed mattress .told wife didn't believe me then told all my family and hers all my male friends in my mechanic shop i thought thats it ill never live this down lost all friends and most family I'm 66 now i still dress my current wife cant stand this part of me any of it we have been married for 45 years i love her dearly but not being able to share this part of my self with the one you love hurts so bad she used to buy me things even put my stockings on driving down the highway it was so cool. but she had a friend that wanted to see me dressup and wanted to help me with makeup so the three of us got to work her friend did one hell of a job .you know when you look at your self in mirror and your mind gets blown away on how pretty i was .later my wife came up stairs to ask if i wanted a threesome with her i saw the look on her face and told her no .she gave me the best and sexyest kiss i have ever had in my life .we both had on lipstick our lips just glided over each others I'm 66 and never had a kiss like that but the next day she told me she didn't want to see like that ever again. and this is the weird part she told me i don't know what you need but ill try to make you happy .so we stayed together all these years you know life and kids got in way till they all left now i try to sleep in my bras and breast pads she sleeps in her own room but always comes in my room i think she dose it to see if I'm wearing any thing.

[Verona]

Thank you everyone for the advice, I feel more nervous approaching this conversation than I did when I first told my wife x

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hello,
reading the most recent posts made me think that maybe there is a kind of psychological pattern by some women married to husbands who explore the feminine side: at first they try to be supportive, out of love, comprehension, maybe curiosity...But at the same time there can be in their subconscious a growing fear of the wedding relationship being somewhat threatened by the crossdressing habit and/or growing impersonation of a woman by the husband.

Good thought. Kind of like the honeymoon period, when neither husband or wife does anything wrong.

[nancy58]

I believe Jillian nailed it. Whether or not you give up crossdressing, you need some serious conversations about how to express your respective gripes before things explode. I've been working on this stuff with my wife for 32 years now, and I believe we've finally got it figured out. One thing my therapist recommended to me was when we have an argument about something, revisit the situation some days later when tempers are cool. That's hard for me to do as a conflict-avoider, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes. I wish you both good luck. It sounds like you have a pretty good thing going.

[Verona]

Thank you all so much for the advice. I sat down with my wife yesterday and told her how I felt and I also read this thread to her and all your replies and everything is back on track. She says she has missed Verona so much and we are having a full day of dressing and fun today. Thank you all so much for the support. Love you all xxx

[Sometimes Steffi]

One thing my therapist recommended to me was when we have an argument about something, revisit the situation some days later when tempers are cool. That's hard for me to do as a conflict-avoider, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes. I wish you both good luck. It sounds like you have a pretty good thing going.

My therapist told that if you get into an argument with your wife, the adrenal "flight or fight" hormones will be released. Once they are released, it will take about 30 minutes for the adrenal hormones to subside and be reabsorbed. Nothing good can happen in those 30 minutes. Walk away.

That was good advice, and it has a physiology about it that is easy to remember and makes sense. I use it quite often I often take a 30 minute walk or go upstairs to chill out for 30 minutes. I tell my wife what I'm doing so it doesn't seem like I'm walking out. It really works. It's amazing how much a 30 minute cool-down period changes my outlook on life. We can usually come to a solution, but even if we can't, at least we can remain calm about it.

[Brynna M]

I’m so happy that things are back to being good for you! ��