Stepping out

[Helen_Highwater]

Please accept that I?m not criticising anyone with what I?m saying This is purely an observation on what I?ve seen online and I hope helpful to those who may be planning to go out.

I?ve put ?crossdresser public? as a search in YouTube and unsurprisingly I get vids of members of our wider community out and about shopping, travelling or socialising etc. Watching these vids I?ve come to categorise them into those that do and those that don?t and by that I mean walk like a GG.

Everything is good, hair, makeup, clothing, standing still they blend. It?s once they start to walk that the illusion is at risk.

It?s written here so often that mannerisms play such a huge part in passing/blending so getting the walk right is something all new outandabouters need to focus on. The main failing I?ve seen is walking with legs too far apart. I call it the John Wayne cowboy walk. There needs to be only a small gap between your knees when striding, in heels each step should be on or close to a centre line. Flats not as important but nevertheless the deviation off the centre line should be kept to a minimum. Steps that fall a foot or more apart will just draw attention. Folks notice the odd and ignore the everyday. And standing still, heels together is the safest bet.

So, my advice would be observe both GG?s out in the wild and look at vids on YouTube of CD?ers. Compare those look right, that blend with those who, well, just don?t look as convincing. It?s one of those skills GG?s grow up with. We have to learn from scratch but with a little effort we can acquire those skills.

Oh, and part of walking is how arms are held and move. GG?s arms never just hang straight down and motionless. Another tell-tale that?ll help give you away.

As I say, I'm not trying to be catty. It's just what's out there for all to see and hopefully learn from those who've gone before.

[Philipa Jane]

I do agree Helen.
I find that in heels I do tend to walk slower and probably with more care as the pavement is often uneven. This also then tends to translate when wearing flat shoes. It is all practice.
Another little trick is to put my handbag on my arm so that the left (usually) is held across my body. It does appear a little more elegant.
I do dislike having to hold my handbag by the handles at my side as this seems too much like a guy holding a large sack. A clutch will work just as well but of course you really can't fit as much in one of these.

[Marketa]

Yup, totally right.

When I wear high heels I tend to naturally walk more feminine with hips movement and as you wrote one leg putting almost in front of the other. Maybe it's the combination of heels and body's instinct to keep balance? idk

And for God's almighty sake also don't move your shoulders like a boxer in a ring ready to punch. Keep them low and wide to enhance your neckline.

I probably should buy smartwatch to find out how many km/miles I walk at home. I just love the feeling when walking in high heels and it's also a practice for the outside world.

[kimdl93]

The other day I had a flashback to my teen years when I was occasionally teased about the way I walked. It was my natural gait, but evidently not masculine enough. I learned, as we all do, to mimic a male walk. But when I am presenting as a woman, my natural walk returns.

[CarlaWestin]

Helen, I enjoy video for when I'm just feeling so pretty and elegant and I get some good takes.
But quite a few reveal that hunched ape walk with my hands curled in like those plastic monkeys we used to link together.

[alwayshave]

Helen, my gate and posture is one of the things my wife always says I need to work on.

[Debs]

Helen, I think getting over the fear of going out and that leads to acting natural with the general public plays an equal part of going out, you know it , we've done it together, at the mall, and before you all shout and scream at me, I know its not easy, Ive had many years of going out in public, and the fear level is different for different people. The more you go out the easier it becomes. Pleas note this is only advising people who are considering going out into the big wide world, I do know from reading other threads some people are happy dressing at home and staying in.

[Genifer Teal]

I'm glad to see someone else bring this up.I've noticed it for a very long time.I had an early experience that pointed it out very clearly to me. I was meeting some girl. We were going to a club. It was her first time out. She texted me I'm here and I'm like, where? she's like, across the street. I looked and I could see from quite a distance away how much she stood out walking across the street. The rest of her look didn't matter. Fortunately none of this mattered where we were going. It still ingrained in me how important it is the way we move. I've done nothing but study study study it.

It's incredibly hard to change your muscle memory to change your walk. Every time a conversation comes up, people talk about how great they've got it. I think maybe they don't realize they don't have it as great as they think. You can fake it. But it's not the same. If you do it the right way, the movement comes naturally. It has to do with the pelvic tilt. Once you get the pelvis, tilted forward. The legs kinda do the right thing automatically. There's so much more to go on about.I could talk about this for days. So glad to have someone else that finally gets it.

[SophiaRose]

Lots of great advice. Thank you. I'm just beginning to go out and not having to worry about walking like a guy will sure add to my confidence. It's funny how we worry so much about hair and makeup but the way you move can get you clocked from a distance. I guess it's time to dust off that treadmill and take some video. It'll be fun to see how different my walk is depending on heel height.

[DianeT]

Now, the line is thin between not doing it and overdoing it, and the latter will get you clocked presumably as much as the former. Personally I don't mind seeing a CDer walking like a dude in public. While one overdoing it is a bit annoying because it becomes a caricature of a woman. But even then, not the end of the world as we know it. All colors of the rainbow.

P.S. Love the thread's title

[Jane G]

If Tina Turner can strut like that, I say go girl. However you walk.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Unfortunately, I'll never walk like a girl. I developed neuropathy in my calves and feet and I now have a balance problem. I need to walk with a wider stance so I don't lose my balance, or use a cane.

[TheHiddenMe]

Look, if you go out, there's a 99% chance people will think you are on the Trans spectrum. Having a perfect walk isn't going to help, because our prehistoric brains make instant judgments about people. It's not how we walk, it's everything.

Instead of watching YouTube videos, I suggest you practice the idea that you don't care if you're spotted. Confidence is 1000% more important than your gait--or having butt pads that give you the perfect shape.

It's posts like these that scare people and keep them from doing what they want to do.

[Genifer Teal]

Any advice can be seen as good or bad. Am I saying "you're doing it wrong" or "here is a better way to do it"? I think it's up to the listener to decide.

What matters to our look when we are out is very subjective. Walking is something that the brain can identify from a great distance away. This is a view we rarely get to see of ourselves. We can't even see it in pictures. Having a discussion might be the only way to learn about it.

When I began this journey, I knew people would figure me out. I accepted the fact that they would likely know I'm a man in a dress. I can only hope their next thought is yeah, but he looks good.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen , I have Noticed so many of your points and Agree, >Orchid**OO**

[Cheryl T]

Not all women walk like a woman.
Not all CD's walk like a woman either. Some have physical restrictions that won't allow it. Some just don't. It's mystifying to see someone all dolled up walking like a linebacker, but then ...
Standing is another thing all together ... I mean feet altogether LOL. Most men stand like the Colossus at Rhodes. Feet spread apart supporting the giant. Women stand feet together or one turned out a bit but still close to the other. It's just something else we must think about that we didn't learn as we grew.

[Meg]

I would love to have the grace of a ballerina. After many injuries and a matter of age, that will never happen. I wear my heels when vacuuming the house for practice. This has helped some but my name will never be Grace. I have a hallway with a mirror at the end I use to practice my walk. This helps keep my head up and shoulders back. I hope to one day have the walk, but I am afraid my journey will never end. Meg

[Aroara Xanthemae]

I practice walking in a feminine way all day long and I believe my co workers have noticed it a bit but walking in heels is definitely more easy to swing your hips but definitely keep the knees close and and tilt the pelvis forward and let it all roll out