Does crossdressing impact your personality?

[JulieC]

For me, crossdressing has been a bit of a challenge throughout my life. Not in the doing, but in the integrating me into me. Over the years, one of the things I've really come to understand from this forum is that we crossdressers come in all shapes, forms, and sizes...and I'm talking about inside, not outside. All of us are different in our own way, and work with crossdressing with our own approach.

For some (maybe even most) of you, there's a mental separation of your femme self from your male self, or at least a compartmentalization. "Becoming" your femme self when you crossdress. That works for you, and vive la difference!

For me, I've tried to steer away from that. I want me to be completely integrated. I don't want there to be two sides of me, with one side being allowed to occasionally come out. I've never knowingly had any mental health concerns, but I do feel like compartmentalizing myself is unhealthy. So, in a sense, I want to live full time...not as a woman, but as me. That includes the skirts and heels and pantyhose and dresses and bras and..and..and. It also includes jeans and sneakers and t-shirts and button down oxfords and ties and..and..and. Ideally, I want all of this to be integrated into a whole me, not a separate mode me.

So, I don't want there to be a personality difference when I am dressed en femme. My wife appreciates that I crossdress, and understands that me being a crossdresser is who I am, and she fell in love with who I am. I don't want to repress those elements of me when I am not wearing a dress. I want them integrated into all of me, a complete me. We both will sometimes refer to my femme self as "Julie", especially if we're out shopping. But, I always want all of me to be all of me.

[kateydoe]

I?m more feminine than masculine. It?s who I am. I don?t try and be more masculine and I have no desire to be. I think crossdressing has brought my feminine side closer to the surface over the years but I?ve always been this way

[April Rose]

It certainly did growing up. I learned to be secretive and reticent. More than once in my younger days I was told by someone that they didn't know what to make of me, or, that they never knew what I was thinking.

Thinking about it now I realize that I am still overcoming it to this day.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I am sure that being in this Program for 77 or 78 of my 82 years it has to had an affect on my Personality,

[GretchenM]

I tend to vary all over the map over time with regard to the intensity of my female-like identity and my need or desire for expression in various ways. But because it is a behavior that is strongly controlled by my brain it has to have some effect at the time. But it also "leaks" over into times when my male-like identity is dominant which is becoming less and less common over time as a result of testosterone suppression. That is being done to limit the chances of any prostate cancer showing its ugly head again. But that suppression has a huge effect on my behaviors and sense of self that tends to wipe out a lot of masculinity and at least boost feminine behaviors either because there is less masculine potential or because the masculine neural nets just don't work very well without T.

I have been this way for a few years and this change is growing in strength. Recently I have had some identity shifts that were a bit shocking to me and my wife. They are quite spontaneous. It involves not only how I speak and the expressions I use, but my mannerisms. For just a few minutes they appear and seem to replace everything with a bit of what appears to be a "different" personality. It is not really "different," but seems to be a selected preference by something internal to my thinking and perception. It does not appear to be associated with any particular environmental factors. And, sadly, they don't last more than a few minutes at which time I switch back to "normal me," whatever that is. But they are quite strongly female-like, so much so it surprises me and anyone around me. Not frequent but really potent.

[Stephanie47]

If anything, it has made me more accepting of anyone who is not like the rest of the herd, whether it is race, creed, color, sexuality or sexual identity, etc. I dislike people who are judgmental of others and I feel the need to come to their defense, whether it is the entire group or an individual. One does not need to "out" oneself to be supportive of those being the target of ill will.

[NancySue]

Definitely. After getting dressed, I?m more tolerant, happier, and positive. It?s so nice getting dressed, slipping into hose, choosing what to wear, etc. it?s great.

[Sabine7]

It has become to me quite obvious recently that I prefer to consider myself more a member of the female tribe than male. There are no male patterns I would like to follow any longer. There is so many women around that impress me so much that I would like to be like. Interesting...

[JesseVF]

As others have alluded cd more matches my personality than changes it. I try to stay away from the fem stereotypes but I just fit in better in the female world at least to some extent. So the cd is a comfort for me matching my brain. I?m hopelessly lost when finding myself in the macho male world activities and situations.
I actually remember a college roommate back in the day remarking I would be perfect if I were a girl - haven?t thought of that in a long time but somehow this thread triggered it.

[Jane G]

That's an easy one. Nope not at all. I feel I'm the same old me on top of a mountain in the alps, full winter clobber, ice axe in hand, as I am full make up, dancing to fred and ginger on youtube and everywhere in between. Acceptance is a wonderful thing.

[CynthiaD]

Yes, over the years. Due to crossdressing, I have become a more caring and loving person. I like myself better this way. In male mode, I have become considerably more masculine. I used to worry about acting masculine, about whether I was reacting the way a man was supposed to act. Now, after realizing that it was mostly an act, I have become stronger and more confident. I feel much better about letting my feminine side loose while in male mode, being kind and loving as a man. Knowing yourself, and accepting yourself is liberating. Liking yourself is one of the keys to happiness.

[JackieD85]

When dressed, I feel more feminine and everything about being Jackie feels natural. The mannerisms come so easily.

A female friend told me that not only do I look like a woman, but she could see that I?m relaxed and happy.

[TrishaLake]

For me as I am fluid, I believe the overall act has helped me allot. The fact that I carry a female side and a male side has improved my relationships and understanding of others. Once I noticed that a few years back, I use it as a strength . I hope that helps.

[Jennifer Soames]

Yes it has changed my personality, A female friend and I were at coffee when she came straight out and asked me if I cross-dressed. I was lost for words and finally answered yes. She smiled ( or smirked a little) and said I thought so. I asked how she knew. She said lots of little things but the confirmation was me looking in a dress shop window with her. She was very cool with it and gave me lots of hints and used after I told her she used my femme name (shortened, ie Jenn). It was such a buzz. Since then I have been more easy going and less stressed. She did my makeup and once I dressed we went out to a Cafe /Restaurant, so exiting and less scary. So yes a secret shared is so liberating.

[abbylhr]

It has definitely changed me.

In parties and with friends, I prefer the company of females; I am so done with usual male talk of sports, investing, drinking, DIY, etc.

I have slowed, calmer, sit/ stand better, and feel in control.

[AlicePetticoat]

My personality does change when I become Alice. I walk different. I talk in a softer tone. I play with my skirts. I sit different when I am reading a good book. Everyday activities are done with more grace and poise. I feel like such a flirt when I dress up. My male self just does not know how to flirt, but Alice does

[jjjjohanne]

The way I understand neural network Artificial Intelligence (AI) -- that's the kind of AI that we talk about a lot currently -- is affecting how I look at myself.

COMPUTER PART:
It is my understanding that researchers said, "Let's try to make something that is designed how we think the brain is designed." Then they connected a lot of "nerves" together and made a "training" process where the amount of influence one nerve has on the other nerves go up or down on a connection by connection basis. It's really just a lot of Algebra 2 matrices filled with numbers behind the scenes. Anyhow, it appears to work. We don't understand it very well, but we can get a neural network to recognize the content of images, or predict what the next word of a sentence should be...

PEOPLE PART:
I think that EVERY experience in your life "trains" your neural network. Every experience changes your personality. You are a different person every moment of your life than you were shortly before. You are similar, but you are changing perpetually.

I heard a quote, "Do something. You will never be the same." That quote came from a non-AI person. He was just saying that experiences change you. That totally lines up with how AI makes me see myself.

So, yeah. Crossdressing probably changes your personality.

--- edit ---

I will add: Diversify your input and you will be better trained. If you only experience one place, and one people group, and one philosophy, then your brain will get trained to think that "This is right". But, you will be wrong. Visiting other countries, meeting people not like yourself, hearing ideas you don't agree with, and SEEING WHEN YOU ARE INCORRECT, will train you to think in better and better ways. The "Pink Fog" is what we call it when you start to incorrectly believe that you pass and that your family will accept you and that blah blah blah. Being alone or interacting with crossdressers, reinforce the pink fog. But, when you go out in public, and people point or laugh at you or express something that disagrees with the pink fog, you realize truth, and you exit the fog. Likewise about politics (on every side), racism, choices, faith, etc. Diverse experiences reveal the truth, and train you to not believe untrue things. People who want to control you will warn you to avoid diverse experiences. Truthful people have nothing to fear about you seeing "the other side" of whatever...

[elliemoss]

I wouldn't say changes my personality but certainly my mannerisms and the way I hold myself. The really strange one is smoking? I detest smoking, I couldn't even touch a cigarette but when out as Ellie if I get offered a cigarette sometimes I'll accept and I find it quite sexy and enjoy it. Weird!

[LizMichelle]

As Jackie Lynn, a very nice personality comes out of me

[Meg]

I must agree with Kimdl, I think a lot of it has to do with growing into adulthood. I am more accepting and passive, along with some other traits. Crossdressing or maturing? This forum post has elicited some responses from members I have not seen post before. It was very nice to read through all of the posts. I am very happy so many members responded. Thanks all for sharing.

[JesseVF]

Another thought from me as something happened recently I thought was kind of funny. I was at the church I recently joined where I attend as Jesse. At the after service coffee hour I was with a few people - one guy was wearing a T shirt with a picture of Dolly Parton. He was joking around adjusting the shirt to in his words make her boobs look bigger - which of course got a laugh from the group. I realized my actual internal reaction was to think - omg men and their obsession with breasts! Don?t think I would have had that thought if in male mode.

[Heather76]

I notive 2 distinct things in my CD journey. First, whenever I can, I wear a bralette under my drab golf shirt. When I'm driving, I put forms in the bralette. I am a rather aggressive (but very safe) driver normally, but with forms in place, I'm not at all aggressive. Example, this past weekend I had a 2 hour one way trip to make. With forms in place both directions, I set the cruise at the speed limit. Without forms, I would normally set it 7 or 8 over and not have an issue going faster if traffic would safely permit it. Second, I am always in a dress and nylons after our evening meal. I am simply a much easier going personality when dressed. Things that might get my drab mode to react to quickly, simply don't get such a response. I'm a much calmer person.