I am not posting this to start a fight but...

[mistunderstood]

When I first started to post here at Crossdressers.com I post on the M2F side before I realized that was not proper for me to do. I am a F2M and I have learned that I need to watch what I post to. It saddens me to see repeat offenders posting to thing for F2M's. Sometimes I do not want to even read any of the posts because I get bummed out or I admit even angry when I see wrong people posting. There are a some M2F's who post on the F2M side who have posted things that have been so on target with the subject and I have learned alot from them. When I see there name I know I will learn or at least be enlightened on what ever they post. It gets so frustrating because there is so little for us F2M's out here on the web. Please let us have are space to be we need this just like you need your space.

[EricaCD]

Hi Aaron. Obviously a few of our MtFs got a bit overzealous in replying to Tammy's recent post here. I certainly understand that FtMs have a much smaller universe of spaces to call their own and I absolutely agree that you have the right to preserve this as a uniquely FtM forum. Hopefully we MtFs collectively can respect that right.

I have posted here in the past for a couple reasons:
1. I am one of the few genetic men who can at least roughly comprehend what you all are going through (though I still believe that you have it worse than we do).
2. In some cases I believe that the threads raise questions where a GM perspective might be useful.

I gather from your post that you agree that at least in some instances MtF participation here can be welcome. I have done my best to ensure that I do not distract from the tenor of the threads or this forum generally. I will freely admit that I am imperfect, and if I have distracted from the focus of this forum then I apologize to y'all. And, if the general consensus is that this is a forum best occupied by non-MtF's, I understand and will respect that wish.

By way of ending a too-long post, I must say that I very much enjoy the posts from the FtMs in our (MtF) forum. Your writing has a fascinating perspective and I hope you will continue to check in on the other side of the fence!

Best,
Erica

[Scotty]

I was guilty on one post!! Under "The Nod", but I figured I could lend my experience to help you all out.......

Sometimes that experience, if posted properly could help you and if it can I will post it but otherwise I try to stay out of the way

[mistunderstood]

Thats all I ask. There are those of you who post wonderful things on our side and I learn from the post and some posts make me laugh. I need both so I do not want to step on a soup boxs and say "you all need to go but just watch what you post to".
I have search on-line for along time and this is the best one out there that has anything for F2M's. So I guess maybe I'm alittle protective of our space. So please just watch.

[Wren]

I welcome MTF imput, it's just grinds when there are big Bold letter saying FTM only, or when they scald us (this has been so infrequant though, why am I even mentioning it).

But what are we going to do about irrelevant posters who are FTM. -_-"
-btw, that be a joke y'arr.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Yeah, it's irritating when people can't seem to respect requests (direct or implied).

BTW, Aaron there's nothing wrong with your posting on the MTF side (unless someone specifically wants responses from MTFs). Anyone who gives you grief about doing so needs to be set straight.

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Aaron,

I saw kells earlier thread on this and I sympathise.

But y'know the answer is quite simple you've got mods - presumably with a delete button - or a move button - and the facility to pm. People will get the message.

I can understand that you may not want to upset M2Fs - but maybe the times up.

Fiona xx

[Ryan]

Urm...am I going to get shot, I think as long as it's good advice then it's ok, most of us, f2m's or m2f's are sort of going through the same thing so I dont see a prob if it helps. OOps.

[suezeq]

we can both learn a lot from each other but it takes time

[Kate Simmons]

Works for me folks. I'm always open to learning from others. I try to respect everyone's feelings and only speak from my heart. Ericka

[ShortSkirt]

I'm glad to see this thread.

I read, and was going to post to "The Nod" thread, but I wasnt sure if I should have or not. I really hate stepping on anyone's toes and I respect the space you all have. I just didn't think I had the "right" to invade it I guess.

On the other hand. I would enjoy and look forward to, anyone, posting on the M to F board, as it's nice to know what everyone thinks.

[mistunderstood]

Hi Ryan welcome to the Zoo We do not shoot people till they reach post level of 100.

[Dee 1062]

It's ok...no big deal...we all here for a reason,, lets all be friends

[Julie Avery]

It saddens me to see repeat offenders posting to thing for F2M's. Sometimes I do not want to even read any of the posts because I get bummed out or I admit even angry when I see wrong people posting.

This is a friction that I fear is not going to go away. I hope you keep posting in this, your area. Every time you post, you're reclaiming this space for yourself and the other guys like yourself over here.

I think mtf and ftm crossdressing are radically different. As an mtf cd, I am always happy to see an ftm post in our area - it's unlikely that a genetic female will offend a genetic male by expressing their desire to crossdress. Those of us genetic males who crossdress face such fierce social disapproval that we welcome acceptance from people who are not like us. And for many of us mtf's, crossdressing is sexual in a way that is unappealing or outright offensive to ftm's. Not to mention that there are so many more of us, than there are of you.

I think your sensibilities are different than ours, and I hope your original post gets a careful reading and a lot of respect. Be well!

[Julie York]

I think in order to get a clear understanding of what is happening, you need to refer to the development of this site. CDs go to a gay club.....often they are not gay but they found a refuge with all the other "outcasts" where they would not be intimidated and gave a nod of respect to each other even if they didn't fully understand each other. The FtM found a home in a section specially for them in a corner of a forum (the music was crap but we all got along).

Before my time...this site was mainly established as a MtF CD site...then there was a FtM area created....because we were all 'outcasts'...and we used to nod to each other....or the funny gay guy would come across for a chat...or that weird MtF had something interesting to say etc etc and we enjoyed each other's company, in the same way you can enjoy being in a club with a diverse group of people if they are nice folk anyway and contribute to your knowledge or enjoyment somehow, even if they come into your corner of the club.

But over time, now you have your own club in the same corner, and we can't nod across the room anymore. You changed the signs, saying, "Hey we used to talk to you but now you can't come in! We used to..but now this is OUR GANG!"

It isn't possible to be selective of who you want in your Gang and who you don't, based on entertainment value or intelligence if it is your own club and people can't come in if they aren't FtM.

But that's just a consequence of growth. The sign on the door and the ticket you pay still says crossdressers.com to everyone who joins. That's why there is intrusion now and then. It is a surprise and a little disappointing to people when they suddenly find an arm across their chest saying "Hey you can't come in here buddy!" When people post in the wrong sections, or WANT to post in all the sections, it is not really a matter of wilfull bad manners, but more often that they thought they had bought a ticket to ALL the party.

(And given that I am actually a genetic male I am very put out that you don't worship my every word.)

[mistunderstood]

Thank you Julie Avery. By george I think you got it. M2F are different in there dressing than we are.( NOT THAT IT IS WRONG IN ANY WAY) When I dress it is not a turn on but a way for me to feel normal, to make the outside match the inside. I guess when I started this thread I was frustrated with what I seen on are side of the fence and what I was seeing going on with how the GG's was beening treated. We all need each other but there has to be rules with out rules there is chaos and in chaos there are people being hurt. That is not fair.
So please be kind to one another.
Ok I am done preaching. Thank you for reading.

[mistunderstood]

Julie York your write too. Yes I will admitt I am new here and do not know the history of the web site but as M2F's you all seem more open about things than F2M our.

[Wendy me]

i very rarly post over in you guy's place although i do read it .. as with mtf's and ftm's and gg's here we all tend to drift a bit ... but as i have come to see over my time here most of the time we don't really mean to step on each other's toes..... sometimes we can hurt or offend each other without even knowing it ..

even though it would appear we are all the same and come here for about the same thing .. we are not aware of others feelings .. and when we hold things in and don't let others know what we feel it only makes it worse for us all ...

some feel that because thay are the gender of your desire that their input is needed or even sought after and try to inject into their response .. i believe it is done with the best of intent and not meant to cause any ill feelings ....
we here are a vary different group of people ...

and if you see something posted in not only the ftm forum or any other forum that you think should not be there let a mod know and if it needs moving we can do it ...


as far as stopping people posting in the wrong forum .... well people being just that people i have no idea how to do that we have all those forums and sub forums thay all tell you what is expected by each of them and we all can read them but it still goes on....

[CaptLex]

It is a surprise and a little disappointing to people when they suddenly find an arm across their chest saying "Hey you can't come in here buddy!" When people post in the wrong sections, or WANT to post in all the sections, it is not really a matter of wilfull bad manners, but more often that they thought they had bought a ticket to ALL the party.

Julie, Julie, Julie . . . I think I can speak for the guys when I say that no one will put an arm across your chest (or any of the other girls' chests) and say "You can't come in here." I believe the actual message is just, "Please read carefully."

I've said it before and I suppose I'll have to keep saying it until I lose my voice . . . we welcome and even cherish comments and insight from MtF and GG members of our very cool club (and the music ain't that bad). Our only complaint is from those who fail to realize that we're not all MtF and may be here for different reasons. I realize that the misunderstandings are caused by newbies that are not used to seeing an FtM section (as I think it's an exclusive function of this club and unknown almost elsewhere in cyberspace, so who can blame them) and that the initiated members are aware of our presence and respectfully wipe their feet on the rug before entering. This is why I have patience for the new ones, but I can see why people get tired of pointing this out.

So, to summarize: you're all welcome and we enjoy your posts in our section, just please realize that you are in our section.

[mistunderstood]

Thank you CaptLex. Thats all I ask.

[JoannaDees]

I don't come here much, but the highlite showed something of interest. Ah hell, controversy, I thrive on it. Anyway, this WHOLE forum is a billboard for ALL TG individuals. Embrace the MTF as we would the FTM. We can certainly empathize, and not being able to "fully feel the angst" does not negate the fact we CAN empathize!

[Julie York]

So, to summarize: you're all welcome and we enjoy your posts in our section, just please realize that you are in our section.

I think there is no clear understanding of when we are contributing and when we are being intrusive. That's what's causing the confusion. People think they are just 'joining in' sometimes and didn't realise they were stomping on a sensitive thread. Plus...as you pointed out....some folk just don't read the Thread starter carefully enough to know when to leave it alone. Have you thought of changing the colour scheme for your section? It would make it obvious that it was a different area when people use "New Posts".





BTW I love the title of this thread. My name and this Thread title combined must have given at least 4 Mods a heart tremor when they saw it. LOL!

[Ms. Donna]

I look at it like this:

If the thread topic or beginning of the thread specificly asks only for replies from a specific group of people and I'm not in that group, then I don't reply - regardless of my rather erudite opinion.

Otherwise, if what I have to say is on-topic, then I'll post a reply.

I don't think it's anything more that that.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Tamara Croft]

Julie... you have a tiny bit of info incorrect.... When this forum was first set up, this is how it looked... The FTM section has always been here, unless you are refering to the recent private ftm section?

MTF
FTM
CD personals
Events
TS

Lounge
Tech Forum

[Julie York]

Didn't know that. O.K.

I thought there was only Abraxas when it started so there wasn't a section and he'd have not had much to talk about on his own anyway....

(Voice in distant backroom of crossdressers.com:......"Aaaaallll by myyy seeeeeellf...dont wanna beee....")