Tammy,
I would think that this depends on the individual and each person’s particular situation. There is no doubt that, yes, some crossdressers are selfish and way too obsessive with their dressing. I can understand this a lot more with those who DON’T have acceptance or even tolerance from their wives, but for those who DO have acceptance they’re flirting with danger by going too much into “overdrive” with the whole thing. If all they ever want to do is dress, talk about dressing, think about dressing, anticipate dressing, etc, it’s easy to see why a lot of wives who were otherwise accepting of this part of their husband’s personality to get fed up with it in short order.
There’s another side of the coin, however that bears mentioning here. Many of us have come out to our wives/girlfriends only to have been met with rejection or a flat-out immediate refusal to even TRY to understand the need we have. Most of the time this refusal to try to meet their partner half way results in a certain amount of resentment in the CD. He may not even realize it, but this rejection of a part of who he is sometimes creates a resentment of that PART of his significant other that is just as strong as her refusal to try to learn about crossdressing. This can obviously be viewed as selfishness on
her part and this is ESPECIALLY true if she goes out of her way to see to it that she eliminates any and all opportunities he might have to dress (post-disclosure). This may sound far-fetched, but believe me- it DOES happen, All it serves to do is drive the crossdresser further into the closet and makes him take more precautions to do what he’s going to do anyway. We all know that sooner or later he’s GOING to grasp an opportunity – no matter how minute it may be – to fulfill his need to dress.
Selfish? Maybe so, but it’s a selfishness that’s a two-way street, depending on how it’s handled with individual couples. The CD who has an accepting wife would do well to take heed not to overdo it and therefore preserve the liberty his S.O. has given him with her acceptance.
Dixie --
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