Need some good advice

[kittypw GG]

Hi guys hope you don't mind me asking all of your opinions.

Here is the deal. I work in the medical field and we had a new Pathologist start recently. She will be heading up our molecular lab which I am a part of and I will be working more closely with her in the future. She is openly gay but I have noticed that she wears a lot of guy clothes. Two days ago she was in a very stylish suit with tie. I would like to breach the gender topic with her or at least let her know that I understand and accept her for who she is but fist of all is it a good idea? Second how would you go about doing it? I was thinking about a tactful card?
Thank you in advance for your advice.

[privateperks]

Honestly, I've always thought it best to let the person approach you, not the other way around. It's just you can't be sure that there is a gender issue as far as she's concerned. And butch lesbians can get kinda tweaked if you suggest they're trying to be men even if you didn't mean it like that at all.

[CaptLex]

I would like to breach the gender topic with her or at least let her know that I understand and accept her for who she is but fist of all is it a good idea? Second how would you go about doing it? I was thinking about a tactful card?

Hmmm . . . had to think about this for a bit. Your intentions are good and the right party would certainly appreciate the gesture, but Perks is right that someone who identifies as a butch lesbian and not FtM may get upset if you suggest it. And it's hard to tell from just looking at someone.

Personally, I would welcome the card, but someone else may not - even if she is FtM. She may not want to be outed and may even deny it. I might try dropping hints about having friends who are FtM or other transgendered topics (not easy to just bring up in conversation, I know) and let her come out to you, if she wants to. If she sees you're TG-friendly, she may feel comfortable enough to open up at some point or, at the very least, see you as an open-minded person.

Would like to hear other opinions too.

[kittypw GG]

She seems very open and friendly and smart as well. (you kind of like that atribute in a pathologist). She looked very nice in her suit and I almost said "looking kinda dapper". But I didn't. I think you are right maybe the hint dropping or compliments on her clothes would be a better start. I am looking forward to working with her and she assured everyone that our calls and questions (about work) would be welcomed. This is where your tatoo would come in handy captin. You could just show it and wink. Thanks and I will let you all know how things go.
Kitty

[CaptLex]

Thanks and I will let you all know how things go.

Yes, please keep us posted.

[Scotty]

"Very nice suit!".

Simple, effective.

Or maybe just say it, "You look very nice in that suit"......