I want to try on clothes in shops

[Emma England]

I have a strong urge to go to a store and try on some skirts.
Would love to have a mini (or two).

I know about being nervous - a few years ago, in an M&S store, I took 2 pairs of ladies jeans to the fitting room. The sales lady asked me to go to the mens fitting room (which was on the next floor). That meant several minutes walk instead of being able to use the ladies fitting room where I was at

The thought of asking a sales lady to try on a couple of skirts seems a buzz to me. It would be obvious they would be for me then Would I actually do it? I would like to. The only reason for not doing so, is that I dont get much chance to dress (even at home, my folks are in too often).

I guess I am kinda shy, which is why I haven't made many posts yet.

[Nina]

Trust me Emma everytime i go to try stuff on in shops near were i live i've always chickened out and ended up just buying the stuff all red faced saying it was presents for my girlfriend. Just buy i the clothes try them on at home then take it back if it dosen't fit. Or buy of line it's so much easier.

BTW Emma if ever you want to come out for a night out in Bristol let me know there's always loads of TV's out there(something in the water i think). Much more fun than trying on clothes in shops

[Emma_Forbes]

Hi Emma,

If you check out the shopping thread I have posted the results of a number of emails I sent to all the top stores and shops in the UK asking whether they would accept crossdressers trying on things in store. I have full details if you want them.

Em

[Joy Carter]

Call Ahead An Ask Them If They Serve The Cross Gendered Community Or Even Email Them I Have Had Positive Responces From The Smaller Shops. So What If You Have To Walk To The Men's Department To Try On Jeans Nobody Will Know Just Don't Take A Dress There. Another Thing You Can Do is To Come At Opening Time Before They Get Busy. Good Luck In Your Shopping Adventure.

Sorry Emma I Got Your Name Wrong

[Gemma Rhodes]

I can definately recommend Bristol for a first night out in "the real world". I went a few weeks ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Didn't meet Nina though.

Gemma xx

[Butterfly Bill]

I always first check it out while it is on the hangar with a measuring tape that I always carry when I shop for clothes, and if it passes, take it over to the men's side as casually as I would a pair of jeans, than walk back to the ladies' side to buy it if that's what I have decided. The reasons for segregated fitting rooms is some women don't like for a man to possibly see them naked, and that's any man, trans or straight. Go to the men's side.

Do you just want to "try on" the skirts, or are you seriously interested in buying? Store clerks may treat you differently if they think you are one or the other. Tranny money is just as good at the bank as straight money, and if they think they can make money off of you, they ain't gonna chase you away.

And just shop like it's the most normal thing in the world. Don't call ahead and ask about transgender policy or anything like that. If they don't know anything about it, and you call up about it, they will start thinking it's something that might be bad just because you seemed concerned enough to call about it in advance. If a store treats you bad, take your pounds to somewhere they don't. That's how competitive capitalism is supposed to work.

[Stephenie S]

Shops don't want you to try on clothes, they want you to BUY clothes. When you go into the store go directly to the SA, tell them what you are shopping for and ask if they have a problem with you shopping there. Then if they say yes, you can turn arround and leave. No harm done and no embarassment.
Now, I can assure you that 99% of the time you will be welcomed. Your money is just as good as any one else's. And it will be good to have the SA helping you with selection and sizing if she knows what you are looking for. Small local shops can be much more friendly than a busy mall. Also you are FAR less likely to get a giggly, imature teenager to wait on you in a small specialty shop than in a mall. Malls, however, are a bit more impersonal and the big stores will have more selection. Try and locate a store that carries larger sizes and you will have a bit more selection.
Good luck, dear.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[carolinecd2006]

Hi there,

I have actually tried on both skirts and shoes in regular shops whilst in mainly male clothes. I did have femme underwear on and the shop assitants saw my seamed stockings when l asked their opinion on the items being purchased. Quite a nice buzz so if you manage it you will enjoy. I also shop for my lingerie whilst fully en femme in one particular shop where the lady owner is most understanding and helpful.

caroline

xx

[Joanie]

And just shop like it's the most normal thing in the world. Don't call ahead and ask about transgender policy or anything like that. If they don't know anything about it, and you call up about it, they will start thinking it's something that might be bad just because you seemed concerned enough to call about it in advance. If a store treats you bad, take your pounds to somewhere they don't. That's how competitive capitalism is supposed to work.

Got to respectfully disagree on that last part....calling ahead is vital because it can give you the name of a clerk that can be helpful and if you are warmly received on the phone, give you the self-confidence you need to go in there and break the ice, ask questions, shop, etc. You can sort of tell from talking with tme if they are really comfortable or not working with guys. With makeup purchases, most will tell you on the phone something..."I don't have a problem, have helped lots of guys." I have called ahead when shopping for makeup and shoes, just about always warmly received.

It is a problem not being able to try on in the store (I can't do that because if I am around here, what on earth would I say if some women I know shows up and I am walking out of the dressing room holding a skirt?. If not seen coming out of the dressing room, they can just assume I am shopping for my wife.

[Emma England]

Shops don't want you to try on clothes, they want you to BUY clothes. When you go into the store go directly to the SA, tell them what you are shopping for and ask if they have a problem with you shopping there. Then if they say yes, you can turn arround and leave. No harm done and no embarassment.
Now, I can assure you that 99% of the time you will be welcomed. Your money is just as good as any one else's. And it will be good to have the SA helping you with selection and sizing if she knows what you are looking for.
Good luck, dear.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Thank you for all the replies so far.

Yes, I do want to buy. I said about trying on because I would like to buy clothes that fit properly. I know most shops allow exchanges, but think it would be more fun with the sales staff if I asked for help (that's what they are there for right?)

No, I wouldn't think of calling beforehand as that wouldn't be a natural shopping experience.

To Emma Forbes: I have seen your uk shop policy thread. House of Fraser may increase their sales thanks to your research!! (Not just from me, but from other girls reading this message).

[kay_jessica]

Emma, go for it. I frequently try on clothes in Debenhams or House of Fraser, mind you i'm always en Femme when I do, which is a real buzz. Quite often the SAs will be most help full. Even had to resort to asking one to zip me up. Shame the dress was over a Hundred pounds, it looked good on me, or so the SA said.

Hugs
Kay

[luvbnjessica]

i've been trying on clothes in stores since age 16.it was my way of fullfilling my desires to cd.my mom was a slacks and blouse lady,so for me to wear skirts or dresses i had to try them on in stores.never really any problems you get some pretty odd looks and giggles sometime but really worth it.worst expeirience was onetime in a bridal shop i was trying on dresses with clerks ok,while in changing she called police and they came while i was still in changing room.i was real embarrassed i put dresses back on rack and walked out.of coarse they stopped me and wanted to see id.no doubt so they could tell their buddies and have the name so they can have a few laughs.i asked them if me being a guy make it illegal to wear girls clothes,their reply was no.

[carol ann]

As I understand it the policy in the UK of most of the department stores with changing rooms is that if you go shopping dressed as a female they will let you try things on in the female changing rooms but not if you go dressed as a male. If you go as a male and wish to try on girls' things some will let you change in the male rooms but by no means all - I believe it is up to local management decisions.

[Jodi]

I have been shopping openly for the last 7 years. Have never had a problem. Also, I have never called ahead. I just walk in with confidence, respond with a pleasant hello and a smile when the SA greets me, and I begin to brouse. When I SA approaches me to ask what I am looking for, I directly tell her that I am shopping for me and what I am looking for. I always get positive help. I've been told once, about 5 years ago, in an Ann Taylor Loft store, that it was company policy that a man could not try on. I thanked the SA, handed her the items I was holding, smiled, and walked out. About a year later, I was in another Ann Taylor store in drab, and asked if I could try on. The SA said "no problem", and set me up a fitting room. So much for the company policy BS.

Today I stopped at the outlet mall that I frequent often. I stopped into Ninewest to try to find the perfect shoe to set off a new multi blue/white dress. I have white to match, but wanted something with a statement. I tried to explain to the store manager what the dress was like. After she showed me several pairs of summer sandals, she said, "tomarrow, I'll just stop at BCBG (where I got the dress), borrow the dress from there, and match the right shoe to it". She said she'd call me on her findings. Now that is service.
Then she said, "I just pulled out a shoe that you have to try on. We have one pair of 9-1/2 left". She got the shoe out, a great looking brown/camel snake print pump, and said, "sit down, you have to try this on." Now--there is no beating around the bush. I'm expected to try on before I buy. There were other customers around. They didn't bat an eye. BTW, I bought the pumps--pic attached.

Confidence is the key. Know what you want. If you don't know ask for help. If you walk in scared and hesitant, you will get that in return.

Jodi

[Girly Boy CD]

The SAs at BEBE have never had a problem with me reying on tops, skirts, and dresses at their store.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

And just shop like it's the most normal thing in the world. Don't call ahead and ask about transgender policy or anything like that. If they don't know anything about it, and you call up about it, they will start thinking it's something that might be bad just because you seemed concerned enough to call about it in advance. If a store treats you bad, take your pounds to somewhere they don't. That's how competitive capitalism is supposed to work.

Exactly. I'm never called ahead and never had problems shopping en femme. However, one thing I will do if there aren't dressing rooms that can be accessed individually is to ask a salesclerk to start a room for me. (That way I'm not perceived as charging into a shared women's dressing room.)

Emma, I assume you're talking about shopping en homme? That does pose some complications -- for example, it's not unreasonable for them to ask you to use the men's dressing room (if so, just throw some men's clothes over what you're really trying on). But I've bought stuff for myself en homme and not had a problem.

A sale is a sale and if they're on commission that's a great motivator for tolerance. If they've got a problem with that, then ask for a manager, who will usually set them straight. And if the manager doesn't, then don't shop there.

[HaleyPink2000]

I just got it in my head one day to do it and I did.0.02

It's not a big deal anymore.

[Vicky_Scotland]

I think that there is a vast difference between the way we girls are treated in the US and here in the UK.

Here in the UK men wearing woman's clothes is still the great last Taboo. I remember going to a store and picked out a couple of skirts to try on. I made my way to the male cubicles for changing and the lady on the changing rooms told me that I could not take them in and try them on.

So I handed her my basket and said to her that money was the same as anyones else's but you have just lost out on it and another store will benefit from my custom.

The other thing I notice in changing rooms is that many of them are not full lenghth doors....they have a gap at the top and bottom. Bit difficult if you are wearing hold ups or tights under your jeans, because everyone can see under the door and some men might take offence. Also many of the doors on changing rooms do not have locks on them.

Sure these things are here to test us.

[kay_jessica]

I think that there is a vast difference between the way we girls are treated in the US and here in the UK.

Here in the UK men wearing woman's clothes is still the great last Taboo. .........

I'm not sure I agree with you Vicky, I've tried on loads of dresses and skirts in a variety of high street shops. I've never had problems, indeed quite the opposite, quite often the sales assistants minding the changing cubicles are more the willing to help. As I said in an earlier post in this thread, on one occassion I tried on some dresses in Debenhams (UK department store) and needed her help to zip me up. She knew I was TS and did not react at all negatively. On another occassion I was uming and ahing over a suspender belt in a lengerie shop and the sales assistant suggested I try it on.

[amandacd2002]

Since I stared going out dressed or in guy mode I've very rearly had trouble going to the nearest changing room and trying on stuff. but do be careful. go in there and do your business, just like going to the bathroom e-femm. I went shopping last thursday evening for a dinner dress and went into the nearest changing room with no problem. at a JC Pennys in Seattle. Seattle Area stores are pretty accepting. If its an all womans store usually they will let you try on stuff, with no problem.

[Ann lee]

hey hun, jsut do it!! i was so scared when i first started but after a while i found out if your up front with most of the clerks there willing to help you out, and i live in a really harsh religous area. but if not you can always buy from the internet?

[Julie Avery]

I try on femme stuff at WalMart (not to ignite a political controversy). I drape it over my arm under guy stuff when I ask for a dressing room (for men). The holders of the dressing room keys have never looked really close at what I'm taking in there, and I'm not sure they'd much care what they saw, if they did look close. Their job is to prevent shoplifting, not crossdressing.

[Sky]

.. but if not you can always buy from the internet?

Agree to disagree! Don't settle for the web. It's nowhere near the same. For starters, you miss the excitement of being in a store, browsing around and physically seeing, feeling, touching what you want to buy. And the right fit is not just a number. Raise your hands those who tried on a thing which looked awesome on a picture but lousy on you (it happened to all of us).

I've been to England but did not shop, so I can't tell whether things are similar to the US or not. But at least here, as long as you exercise reasonable common sense, things are pretty relaxed. I have never tried to step into the ladies fitting rooms when in drab, because I think many gg's would take objection to it, and rightfully so. But I never had problems when dressed up: of course the salesgirls would read me, but as long as you smile nicely, they would be helpful. I'm sure they saw it all already. And when I'm in drab I simply go into the mens fitting room, where the worst I've had was a clerk telling me "Sir, these are for ladies" to which I replied "I know". The clerk shrugged and that was it.

[Karen Edmonton]

Emma , I've been dressing for about 25 years . When I was living at home I had a choice , one ) wait until you have some time to yourself and get dressed the best you can , then go shopping enfemme .Or two) what I use to do , rent a motel room for the day , get dressed your best , then go shopping enfemme ! It's the only way to shop !!! Atleast twice a month I get dressed and take a walk through the malls to see what is new ! If you look and act like you belong there , people won't give you a second look ! Good luck and happy shopping !

[Kristen L]

I shop offen in any store I like with little concern as to what I would like to try.
I have been traveling to Costa Rica quite often and have never had a problem there either. Only a few time has any bothered to see what I had to try on. My
wife will go with me alot and she seems to be more concerend as to what they say then I. The security girl in Costa Rica asked me Not what items I had to try
on but how many. The fact that they were three mini's didn't seem a concern.
Here in the US i have tried on clothes in Kols, Pennys, Filiens and Macy's in male atire and just go and use the mens dressing room. Believe me it bothers you more than the dressing room atendant.