The Fit Hit the Shan

[Laurie Ann]

Well girls the worst thing that can happen to a closeted dresser happened my wife discovered Laurie. It happened over a week ago and it has been a very hard time time since then. The usual fears and questions came from my wife and she told me if it ever happened again she would divorce me. She has continued to talk about the situation and claims she is trying to understand. I am at a loss and do not know what to do. For the time being I will be laying low and as time allows I will try to continue to check in here from time to time and hopefully, time will heal this wound. The hardest part is coming to grips with the loss of Laurie and what she means to me. I hope that with time my wife will allow me to show her the other side of me. I want to thank everyone here for the past year and I hope and pray that it will all work out for both of us.

[Breanne]

We're with you and here for you, Sis.
My prayers for you and your wife.

[Deidra Cowen]

I am pulling for you Laurie Ann and hope it all turns out well for ya girl!

[Teresa Amina]

Hang in there girl! We're here for you.

[wannabeagirl]

I with you too. How'd she find out?

[renee k]

Hi Laurie,
We're all praying for you, things will work out for you and your wife.

Huggs, Renee

[Wendy me]

so sorry to hear that...my wife knows but is not fully accpteing of my dressing...we are trying them small steps...if you need to talk let me know i wish you and your wife the best....

[Barb Valentine]

To my dear sister
I hope that you and yours will be able to work thought this
You know that we missed you very much
You will always be in my thoughts
Nice to have you back

Barb

[Ms. Donna]

Hi Laurie,

I'm so sorry to hear this. The fear/anger combination is a tough one to work through. The fact that she is trying to understand is - at the very last - a starting point.

I'm not sure were in NJ you are, but I work in Jersey City. PM me if you want or need an ear. Typing is all well and good, but sometimes you just need to talk.

You are both in my thoughts.

Regards,
Donna

[Jolene]

Good luck Laurie Ann and we are all here for you. I hope you can work through this............... Jolene

[KateW]

Sorry to hear you are having problems, and wish you the best of luck. I found the following sentances (which many will be familiar with) to be quite helpful:

1. No, I'm not gay.
2. No, I don't want a sex change.
3. I'm still the same person, and I still want to be with you.

Also try and explain that you are still the person she fell in love with.

[Tamara Croft]

Aww Laurie I'm so sorry to hear that. Divorce is such a harsh word, I'm sure she didn't mean it. She's probably in shock and is very defensive right now. Keep talking and keep us updated when you can.

[Carlacd]

You know how to get ahold of me. I am there for you Laurie.

[Sandygal]

Hi Laurie....Hang in there. Its going to be rough for awhile for you both. Even if you stop dressing, she will treat you .....Lets just say different. If the love is there, you both will work it out. Many of us are in your shoes, so please come back for help when you need it.
Best wishes
Sandy

[Sierra]

Its hard now, but now its out and you can slowly move to a more free and honest relationship with time.My wife freaked at first,now she buys me such great womens clothes at the best prices.

[Phoebe Reece]

I wish you luck Laurie Ann. About the only thing I can suggest is you take a second look at all the other threads that have been posted here in the last year about getting caught (and there have been a lot) and how others have dealt with that situation. It sometimes has a happy ending and sometimes... you just don't know where the situation will take you.

[suanne]

Hi Laurie. I believe I understand what you are going thru. I got caught years ago and went through a living hell. I think you are smart to stop dressing and just go slow if you want to save your marriage. I know this is a very hard time right now. We want to encourage you any way we can. You are correct when you say it is a closet dressers worst fear. You just do the best you can right now. I tell you that my wife and I made it through this but it doesn't help with the dressing. I hope you can come to some understanding. You are in our thoughts. If you can, please keep us posted on how you are doing. If it is to risky we understand that to. The most important thing now is to work on your relationship with your wife.

Suanne

[EricaCD]

Good luck and hang in there. We are all here for you if you need help!

Love,
Erica

[Adrienne Heels]

Good luck , Laurie. I hope you and your wife can work it out. Just go slow.

[TGMarla]

Yikes! You know I know just how you feel. I wish the very best for you. Hugs and prayers.

[eleventhdr]

Are the peoples going to realize that there are something's you can not change no matter how hard you try being transgenred is not the easeist stuff to ever come down the pike very old saying

I just fali to see why others can not love us dispite our own falinigs what have you.

Until that time we will never achive any kind of lasting peace be it on a personal levle or elsewhen!:

Jay Suzy!:

[flatlander_48]

Just remember:

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy or simple...

[ashlee chiffon]

so sorry to hear horror stories like this...the worst of the worst and the toughest situation for a cd to face! Now you have to torture yourself with withdrawal and repressed needs...you may need outside consuling or a good therapist to start seeing...this will be tough and hard to control, as you well know! Maybe the two of you can go and a compromise can result to allow a minimum of acceptance!?
its soooo hard to just quit dressing...sorry and big hugs, luv...my best thoughts to you and please check back in...us gurls will miss you!!!

[Billijo49504]

Good luck, I wish you the best....BJ

[Wenda]

I am sorry to hear of your situation, but there has been some good advice alread::
Put the clothes, makeup, wigs, shoes, etc away. (don't purge)
Listen to your wife, and HEAR what she is saying, as the others have said, she is probably feeling:
1)afraid, that she has lost her husband to another, strange, indescribable woman who lives within her husband
2) betrayed, if you can lie about something this huge, what else have you misrepresented
3) hurt, A friend of mine lost his wife to her lesbian lover. It nearly killed him. Made him really doubt his own male identity.
4) embarassed, what if friends and family found out?

You need to understand her feelings. Don't worry too much about Laurie Ann, you know where to find her any time you need her. All the best, w