were you a dorky kid?

[christine55]

I was a dorky kid who stuttered pretty badly when I was a kid. I do know that this contributed to my desire to be a girl. I don't know whether my desire to be a girl contributed to my dorkiness and stuttering. Any thoughts on this. I have heard that many crossdressers stuttered when kids.
Hugs, Christine

[Vallari]

Hmm, well Ive always felt different when I was younger. I always did my own thing and often went against the majority if thats what you mean. I dont stutter myself, so I cant say if it has anything to do with wanting to CD.

[Sharon]

No, I wasn't dorky at all. I always pushed myself to be as as manly or macho as I could, especially when I became aware of what became Sharon. I played in sports all my life, right until I blew my knees out playing rugby eight years ago. And truth be told, I've always been a pretty good athlete, not great, but good.
Even though I participated in every athletic event I could find time for, I've battled shyness since childhood, a very low self-esteem a direct result. I'm a bit better now that I'm more conscious of it, but it still rears its ugly head far more often than I would care for.
I can't really attribute my TG to anything but that I was programmed since birth. I was born right handed, with gray eyes, and brown hair. I was also born with the mind of both male and female.
I never stuttered Christine, but I took extra speech classes in grade school because of a tendency to pronounce "s-" as "sh-". What they told me was a lazy tongue. It was always embarrassing when I would have to say the word "sit."

[flicka]

I must confess my ignorance ... but what is dorky? Anyway, yes, I too stuttered as a child. I'll leave it to the more knowledgable girls to link the CD interest with the speech impediment

[Julie]

The Dictionary says Dork/Dorky means stupid, just because one stuttered as a child (myself included) doesn't mean you are a dork.

Children can be cruel in what they say to other children and I suppose Christine was called this as a child, we girls here know full well she is far from being a dork as she's our photographer in residence.

JJ

[Sandra H]

Hi Christine.

I too do not know what dorky means, so I will not insult you by assuming in case I get it all wrong. I have always been very shy and I have a very low self-esteem. I think this stems back to me being so different from the other boys. I felt frustrated because I thought I should be a girl. I think in a nutshell had I been a girl the things I did would have fitted in and I would have made lots of friends. I am also dyslexic so thank goodness for spell checks But because I was doing the same things as a boy it got me teased, bullied and left me friendless. Even today the only real friend I have ever had in my life in which I could trust not to make fun of me no matter what I did or said, was my wife who died on the 27th April this year. So I am now alone other than my many friends on the site.

I have never strutted, but I have been left speechless many times from your lovely photographs. You always look lovely.

[crispy]

I must confess my ignorance ... but what is dorky? Anyway, yes, I too stuttered as a child. I'll leave it to the more knowledgable girls to link the CD interest with the speech impediment

excuse me Flicka, but the sun is shining right through your filmy skirt. I can see your legs, and I'm sure some others may have noticed; that is so RUDE! please put a modest slip on right away :mad: !

I don't know what girls are coming to these days. The modern generation !

(Oh, sorry, I see you're an honorary Brit from down under. Well, please don't let the side down by being rude again, or we'll have to impose sanctions on your rugby team.)

[crispy]

I understand dorky to mean awkward, not fitting in, of low self esteem, lacking in confidence, not a 'gamesy/sporty type' except for chess, and possibly a bit of a geek by today's standards.

Then the answer is yes, definitely.

[Wendy-Anne]

Dork is about right,
No good at sport, last to be picked for the team, picked on because you were a bit different? Sorta helps drive you deeper inside does'nt it?
Thank goodness for growing up and coming out of the cocoon!
Thank goodness for girls in see thru skirts who are bold enough to stand against the light.

Thank goodness for girls with (dare I say?) sharp teeth!
sigh

[Christiane]

Like some of the other girls, I knew I was different but I worked very hard at being a "normal" guy and participated in normal male activities. It was kind of hard wearing a football uniform when I wanted to dress like a cheerleader, though.

Love,
Christiane

[Georgette]

I was always small for my age, so I worked hard to become a very hard at being a good baseball player , and football, also.
When I graduated from HS there was only one shorter person in my class that was shorted than me and that was a Girl.
I did earn letters for excelling in sports although as, one of the responses said I would rather have been in the cheerleaders out fit than football pads.
I don't think I was dorky , but deffinitely not what people would call the HS jock though.
LOVE Georgette

[crispy]

Like some of the other girls, I knew I was different but I worked very hard at being a "normal" guy and participated in normal male activities. It was kind of hard wearing a football uniform when I wanted to dress like a cheerleader, though.

Love,
Christiane

Judging by your avatar I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you to appear to be a 'normal' guy.

Hey, you can lead my cheers any time!

[ChristineRenee]

Yeah...especially between the ages of 10-15. I was always small and had a late puberty which didn't help much either. Inherited some athletic ability from my dad so I tried to play a lot of sports as much as I could...my size kept me from playing on some of the teams I wanted to play on however. Though I started CDing at age 12, I think it was more of a diversion then as opposed to something I was totally focused on. I had for the most part a typical male childhood aside from being small. I was definitely not a sissy or a mama's boy. I didn't play with girls or dolls, etc. I certainly can't point to anything in my childhood...particularly the environment...that would have been an indicator of why I CD'ed and have evolved as a TG in later years. It had to have come from deep within. I know this much...it is very real...it is always there...it will never go away. (not that I would want it to anyway)

The hardest part over the many years has been trying to come up with some kind of logical, analytical explanation for why I had become this way. It was a lot tougher for those of us who grew up in the '50's and '60's with this because we didn't have the resources available to us, for one thing, and the peer pressure to be "normal" and not different was even greater then. Couple that with the fact that most of us for years actually believed we were the only ones like this. You lived with the continuous fear of discovery...by your parents, maybe your siblings as well, certainly your friends and peer group.

It took a long time for me to come to terms with it...erasing past feelings of inferiority and lack of self-esteem, and looking at this very large part of who I am as a negative. Maybe I have just played a mental game with myself in reversing my whole self-image. I'm sure that advancing age, with some accompaning wisdom thrown in, has helped to right the ship thinking wise, so to speak. Forums such as the one have really given us all a place to go to communicate and share a lot of these deep seated feelings with each other. I like to use the "band of brothers" analogy in that we are all really a "band of sisters" here, and for that I am very grateful. It is a priviledge for me to be a part of this wonderful forum and to be able to communicate with all of you great ladies here on a continuing basis.

Many thanks to Julie M., who does a magnificent job of moderating, and to the administrator for providing all of us with this terrific site. Your time and efforts are truly appreciated.


Love,
Christine Renee

[Rachel Elizabeth]

No, I cannot say that I was dorkie. Others might, but what did they know.

I was a preppie; one of those people who didn't have to study; one of those people who belonged to every club. On the other hand, girls scared the wits out of me. I never dated a girl that someone else didn't introduce to me in advance.

The secret, however, was that behind the facade was a young teen age girl. It was really neat making everyone think I was male when I was really female [mentally speaking.]
Even then, when I eyed a girl, I wasn't looking at her from the perspective of asking for a date, I was checking out her clothes to see how I might look in them.

ta ta.....

[Jill]

No, I wasn't dorky, I always had a lot of friends and have always been much taller than people my age. I was athletic and didn't have much trouble fitting in most of the time. But I have always had low self esteem. I had three sisters and no brothers but was fairly macho. CDing really only confused me, I have always been terrified of being outed.

[Kath]

Christine55, very interesting thread.

Several interesting things in my life that seem to parralell the others. I stuttered when I was young. A nun helped me by making me talk into a mirror. Athletics, I was one of those that was always chosen just about last for any team. Size, I was always tall, having just about my full height by the eighth grade. However, I still had a lot of filling out to do. I remember wanting a doll for Christmas when I was young, probably just before grade school. Interesting because I had no sisters or girl playmates to give me the idea.

All these little things seem to put us all in some type of "range" that could possibly be a predictor of our life styles. Interesting that you never think about it until you see someone else that has been down the same path.

Hugs, Kath

[babe4life]

Intriguing. In parallel to many others here, I was really small for my age (on par with most girls really), not much of an athlete although I did enjoy bowling (cricket). Was considered a nerd / geek as a kid.

Never stuttered, but was incredibly shy and was "the" choice when it came to emotional bullying. Fun no?

Love,
Vicky

[Krissi]

I wasn't dorky or anything as a kid. I was one of those all around types. I had friends and could hang with just about any of the groups; jocks, preppies, stoners, nerds, you name it. I was a pretty good athlete, a good student, I didn't date much due mostly to taking care of family/sports obligations. I know a lot of girls have said they wanted to be the cheerleaders, I liked their uniforms and thought those would be fun, but I wanted to be a girls basketball player. There I could fit in more with my actual body (at that point 6'2 160). I never have stuttered or anything else like that. Though I think this is a fascinating thread.

[GraceUSA]

Well, dorky? yes. Stuttering? yes.

Growing up I was labeled "slow". I didn't start talking until I was in my late 4's and have learning and social disablities. Most of my friends don't really know this about me since through lots of training and also by the grace of God I'm able to work around and sometimes with them. The odd thing that still boobles my mind today was that I was never picked on during school. All the way up to highschool my disablities were pretty prevalent but I never was a target. Sure I was always picked last for sports, that I would rather not play anyways, and that did hurt. But no real targeting out and I can't think of any reason why they wouldn't since my family was poor and had no social infulance at all.

Grace

[Suzanna_CD]

I am still quite shy, and not as good at the "manly" sports as friends. Mostly did/do my own thing, but that seems to be the case with most of us here . Never stuttered that I can recall, but I do repeat myself a lot and forget what I've told people hehe.

[Carrissa]

Yes was somewhat dorky. Felt out of whack .. had crushes on boys although crushes on girls made me think of how it would feel to kiss or hold them ones on boys made me wonder what it would be like to be kissed or held by them

[Amelie]

I was the one who threw eggs at the "Dorky" kids, you probably remember me. Lol


I wasn't a dorky kid, I was a loner, I didn't want many friends. I didn't join any groups of kids, such as sports, music , chess, whatever. I was my happiest when alone. Basicly, I am the same today. When I go to clubs, I am mostly alone, sort of like a wallflower, but a happy wallflower.
Amelie

[Tristen Cox]

This is an interesting thread indeed.

I was sort of a nerd, not really by choice but my parents chose the clothes(dorky ones) and I was a good student with excellent grades. And also a bit of a loner, although I did join the choir and school clubs. Put up with my fair share of nerd calling and abuse. Had only a few friends mostly older than me, and was about average size until turning 11 then I hit one of those growth spurts and thankfully stopped just short of six foot.
Uhm no stuttering here. Pretty much a balanced group of friends male and female until school was over(although I did tend to spend more time with the girls). Then I got out and had some real fun

Love
Tristen

[Rachel Ann]

Well, I was the "brainiac" or whatever. I was never chosen for sports teams, although I gave it an honest try.

Part of it was situational, living in Europe during those critical ages 11-13 thus continuing to interact mostly with my family.

Part of it was my parents who were on an ego trip to have a prodigy and encouraged me to be one of those insufferable "little adults".

High school was better because there were enough other kids that I actually had a circle of friends. Still got beatings for "not loving Jesus" until I became an Anglican for "protective coloration".

I always just saw beatings as part of a boy's life.

Anyway I am happy to be as socially well-adjusted as I am considering the start I had in life. My sister and I are VERY close due to growing up in the same twisted family!

Was considered a nerd / geek as a kid.

I suppose getting people to stop using the g-word and the "other" n-word is a losing battle. For me they always preceded a beating.

[Brittney]

Just the Opposite for me.......... The Older I get, the Dorkier I get.
I was a COOOOOOOOOOOOL Kid, Now,,,, I am getting to be a Dork.

My mom told me when I was a Kid, she said;;;

Don't worry honey, you'll grow into it....