Trans 101

[CaptLex]

Since I came out at work last week I've been facing the inevitable silly questions and comments that I was warned would come. So now I find myself in the position of having to educate people who assume things based on their own ignorance or limited information they've encountered in the media. Of course, I don't have to educate anyone, but it's important to me to shed a little light on people's ignorance so that others don't have to go through prejudice and discrimination. I figure if I teach one person, they can go on to spread the truth instead of gossip, innuendo and misinformation. So, if I think the person is just misguided and would benefit from my teaching them something, I will. If I encounter anyone who is just too set in their ways and totally close-minded, however, I probably won't bother.

Here's a few of the comments I've had to set straight:

1. Someone asked me when I'm having "the operation". I explained that there is no such thing as "the operation", but there are a series of surgeries and one can choose to have some, all or none, depending on the person.

2. Someone else asked me when the hormones were going to shrink my breasts. I told her that if she could invent such a product, she'd be rich beyond her wildest dreams.

3. Someone told me he had no problem with my "situation", as long as it doesn't affect him, his family or his money. I told him my situation has absolutely nothing to do with him or anything of his ("Not everything is about you, dude.")

4. Another person told me I should now remove my Pirates of the Caribbean calendar and Johnny Depp poster from my cubicle and put up pictures of super models. I politely explained that girls are not my thing, never have been, and switching to the other team doesn't change that I'll always lust after Johnny. He was quite shocked by that.

Anyway, these are just a few examples of the kinds of comments and questions I've been getting - nothing I can't handle so far. I was expecting this, so I think I was mentally prepared for it. Does anyone else have silly questions or comments they've received and would like to share with the class?

[privateperks]

I got told once that this guy didn't care what I did so long as I stayed away from his family, church, neighborhood, school and dog.

Just reminded me of number 3 on your list.

I can't imagine what he thought I'd want to do with his church.

[Ms. Donna]

Anyway, these are just a few examples of the kinds of comments and questions I've been getting - nothing I can't handle so far. I was expecting this, so I think I was mentally prepared for it.

As long as they're not rude and seem to have a few functioning brain cells, I'll explain anything. I assume that most people have the capacity to learn if they want to.

Patience and understanding, Lex... Patience and understanding.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[CaptLex]

I can't imagine what he thought I'd want to do with his church.

Or his dog?!

[noname]

Shocking ( but not ) that people would ask such questions. Especially the one about posters. Maybe I'm misreading but it comes across as though this person is trying to test the waters.

I got told once that this guy didn't care what I did so long as I stayed away from his family, church, neighborhood, school and dog.

Yeah, because he owns the neighborhood right? As far as church goes, I've been told that churches can not turn someone away, as long as they are not disruptive to the services. For the record not all churches share the same views as this guy. He sounds like a fine upstanding citizen.

[Sarah Rabbit]

Here's a few of the comments I've had to set straight:
3. Someone told me he had no problem with my "situation", as long as it doesn't affect him, his family or his money. I told him my situation has absolutely nothing to do with him or anything of his ("Not everything is about you, dude.")

Was he SERIOUS What a total Could be worse CaptLex, you could have been related to the Twit

Kudos to you for taking that step out into the World. I wish I had that Courage

Sarah R.

[CaptLex]

Was he SERIOUS What a total Could be worse CaptLex, you could have been related to the Twit

Actually, my relatives aren't any better. My son is the only one that's cool with it. When I told the most open-minded person in my family (a cousin), she felt compelled to inform me that I'm going to hell. I really don't care, though. As long as my son is okay with it, that's all that matters to me.

[gennee]

[SIZE="4"]A lot of people don't know about Tg, MTF, FTM, and the others. If so one really wants to know they will found out and get the facts. It's an adjustment for them and it will take time. Who knows, in the future you may gain some strong allies.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[Kimberley]

Actually, my relatives aren't any better. My son is the only one that's cool with it. When I told the most open-minded person in my family (a cousin), she felt compelled to inform me that I'm going to hell. I really don't care, though. As long as my son is okay with it, that's all that matters to me.

******************
The ones you most care about are the ones you most want to understand. You are so fortunate with your son.

As to the others, well some of them will probably come around in time, and the others arent worth your time.

Kimberley.

[Kirchein]

[QUOTE= Just remember to be patient, very few people know how to deal with the transgendered. It's something that isn't taught in school.[/QUOTE]

yees u´re soo right lex, they dont even know the diferrence betwen crossdresser, transgender, etc etc well they even dont know nothin!

some of them really want to learn, the rest....u should just kicked them off! PUNCH!

and about the stupid questions,

i was asked if I didnt like being a girl or if I wanted to be or seem like a man. Of course i didnt answered to them, well i did but i lied...u know i wasnt ready enough to answer that and maybe they didnt deserve to know whats inside my mind (altough they are my family....)

my brain hurts!

[Kate Simmons]

Actually, my relatives aren't any better. My son is the only one that's cool with it. When I told the most open-minded person in my family (a cousin), she felt compelled to inform me that I'm going to hell. I really don't care, though. As long as my son is okay with it, that's all that matters to me.

Don't worry about going to Hell, Hon. I was there, didn't like it(the cooking was lousey). The Devil threw me out as I was too much of a bitch and I was driving him towards Heaven. Seriously, Cap'n your friends here will listen and support you no matter what. We are all for you achieving your goal with the dignity you deserve. Your Son sounds like the smartest of the bunch. Love, Ericka Kay

[Bernadette]

I loved your post. I think that we all need to post more about what affects our lives.

I am glad you have an answer for questions that are asked of you.

What is an answer for individuals now understanding this experience.

Bernadette

[CaptLex]

I loved your post. I think that we all need to post more about what affects our lives.

Thanks, Bernadette. Most times I feel okay about how things are going since I came out (people's reactions, that is), but sometimes I have less patience about it. For every negative or questionable response, I've gotten about 10 good ones, so I can't complain.

I got the following e-mail at work on Friday, and I'm still processing it mentally. At first I was kind of upset, but now I don't really know what to think. Any opinions?

I have to say I think you are very courageous, honest and a wonderful person and I respect you for that. I just wanted to let you know that this took me totally by surprise and yes, to be honest, it is taking me a while to deal with it--I don't think I'm quite there yet and I hope you can understand. I'm a born-again Christian and this just totally threw me. I'm sure you've gotten a lot of feedback (some of it probably negative and some not), but I know that in order for you to do this that it has been something you've been dealing with for a long time. I just wanted to wish you well (even though I don't understand). I don't know if I'll be able to call you Lex, but maybe [my last name] will do for now.

I just hate it when people hide behind their religious beliefs. I think if they're okay with it or not, it should just be their own feelings.

[bi_weird]

It's all well and good to want people to be honest and not hide behind their religion, but man, you got a born-again Christian to think, rather than just blindly condemn you. In my experience, that's a rare thing. I'd encourage that open-mindedness as much as possible.

[KrazyKat]

Congrats to you, CApt Lex, I just saw this, I didn't know!! Awesome!! This takes a lot of courage, definetely a big step in your life!!

I'm still chuckling on the Johnny comments, how small minded of this person!! I mean, really, Johnny could very possible be attracted to you!! Pffft, what do they know?

Ah, the email you got, sounds like it's in earnest. At least it's better than part of the "watercooler" gang, talking out their arses!!

Kat

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Captlex, Not a bad message from a "born again" Christian. It seems to me though that all Christians have to be "born again" as their spiritual selves(and a change of nature) before entering Heaven. I don't see a whole lot of difference with us really. Most of us are "born again" people here either in a mental or spiritual sense whether we are CD's TG's or somewhere in between. Whatever the case, we've realized we needed to change our "nature" before we enter our personal "heaven" where we can finally be ourselves. Ericka Kay

[~Dee~]

she felt compelled to inform me that I'm going to hell. I really don't care, though.

i wouldnt worry lex, from what ive been told, im going there too .. in fact we are all going there..
so really.. wont hell just turn out to be something like this forum?
except the Tamara that rules that forum would have to be a little more strict .. and a little less evil.

its kewl that you are doing well with it all.
and believe me, there could be worse things they ask you .. or they could simply not ask a single thing ... like my friends, family and peers ... i beg them for questions and they just nervously look at each other and then .....subtly change the subject.

so im left wondering what asumptions they are making...

[privateperks]

Well, normally I'd go on a twenty page rant about people using religion to justify what's essentially bigotry - but hey - you got that person to think. That's something. A lot of them don't even try.

But you could also point out to this person that you actually aren't asking them to deal with all that much. Just call you by your name and not make a stink about using the guy's bathroom. Another case of "it's not all about you, dude."

[Felix]

Hi CaptLex just wanted to say well done and keep ya chin up.

[CaptLex]

Thanks, everyone . . . I'm feeling better. Just had a momentary lapse, but I can look at the glass as half full again. I knew it wasn't going to be all compliments out in the real world, and I've actually received much more positive feedback than negative, so I have nothing to whine about. I hadn't thought about having made a born-again Christian think (at least she didn't send me to hell). Actually, Dee, if hell is anything like this forum, I'll start packing now. You guys are the best!

[CaptLex]

But if she, or anyone else, gives you any trouble, let me know and I'll beat them up for you. :P

Oh cool - my own bodyguard!

[KrazyKat]

Hey, like, Dude, I'll plant some bugs in the house and workplace, and like, uh, take some unsuspecting pictures, just like James,

Kat

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Don't worry Lex, the 1st Battalion, Transvestite Brigade, Airborne Wing has got your back....

[CaptLex]

Don't worry Lex, the 1st Battalion, Transvestite Brigade, Airborne Wing has got your back....

Oh cool - I love it! Will it be led by a certain handsome blond, blue-eyed Englishman?

Hey, like, Dude, I'll plant some bugs in the house and workplace, and like, uh, take some unsuspecting pictures, just like James,

I like your thinking, Kat. Can I ride around in the Aston Martin with you?

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Oh cool - I love it! Will it be led by a certain handsome blond, blue-eyed Englishman?

You'll have to settle for a certain blond, blue-eyed Californian....