Sisters I have a problem

[Donna Louise]

Sisters,

I have fallen head over heels in Love. He is my dream come true. He sees me as beautiful. He has asked me to marry him, nothing legal just before god.

Background. I posted Mr Right and Mr Right #2. We have not made love far from it. He has been the the prefect gentleman, in emails and in person. I have looked into his eyes and have seen the love that is there.

Tonight I looked in the mirror, I mean really looked. I started crying. I do not see anything close to the woman that he has fallen in love with. I feel that it might be best if I don't see him again.

God how I Love him! He makes me feel special, Loved. We have never talked about sex in our emails or in person. We have never talked about sex in anyway. He just tells me that he loves me because I am real, that I write from my heart.

I do not feel that I am worthy of this man's love. I do not see the person that he sees. No, there have been no lies. Everything has be competely open and honest.

I will try to post the email I am about to send. I have asked for your counsel before but never anything of this depth. I know that our collective expericene and knowledge will help guide me.

I will thank yo now for whatever you have to say.

Hugs
Donna Louise

Sweetheart,

I Love You more than life.

I just looked in the mirror and really looked at myself. This is so hard I am crying. I Love You so much. I am not pretty, I am old, I am ugly, I am fat. You deserve more then me. God, How I Love You. I cannot see what you see in me. I feel that you would be better off with someone else. God, how this hurts. I have no idea how I will hide the tears from my wife. They will not stop. I Love You so very much.

I will meet you tomorrow but it will be the last time. I will do my best to hide this from you. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. I do not see myself the way that you do. I see myself as extremely ugly. I will not stand in your way. I hope you the best. God, how I Love You. This the hardest thing I have ever done. Go find someone worthly of your love.

You are such a special man. Any woman would be so proud to have you and your love. I know I am. But I am not what you see. Honey, I'm so sorry. I Love You with every fiber of my being. You deserve better then me.

I will cherrish what few moments we spent together but you must go. You must find someone worthy of your love. I am not, in my eyes that woman is not me.

I will love you forever. As bad as I look now, what will I look like in 5 years, 10 years. Sweetheart, you deserve more. I Love You with all my heart and soul.

I Love You
I will always carry your love in my heart
Donna

[Donna Louise]

He will not get the email I am about to send as he has no home pc. He would not get it until Monday. We are sked to meet tomorrow.

[Allison Vamp]

you know Donna, if you don't go through with this, you're going to regret it, you going to think about what could have been. give it the chance. don't deny yourself the pleasure you deserve.

[LauraB]

Dearest Donna Louise

We all know you to be a special person. Mr right finds you to be a special person, and if you find him to be special and love him then what more do either of you need, other than as Amelie has said time. Take time for you both and then you both may be all that the other needs or desires. In which case you two will have somethimg that so many never do.


Love and best wishes to you both

Laura

[Donna Louise]

Sisters

All I can say is thank you. They say love is blind. From where I stand, its vision is crystal clear. Maybe he sees something I don't.

Because of his confidence in me I will venture out tomorrow compeletely dress for the first time ever. Yes, I Love him that much. I am willing to risk everything just to see him smile.

Since we have been open and honest. I think I will print my orig post, give it to him, walk away and see what happens. There can be only 2 outcomes. Either he will come to me or he won't.

God I hope he comes. If not I will be back tomorrow broken hearted. Ladies I have never know a love like I have for him.

Thanks again
I Love My Sisters, You are
My Voice of sanity in a world of confussion
Donna Louise

[Celeste GG]

Donna Louise! get a grip!

You have met each other. You are both in love!!!! Take it from me don't let him get away.

I nearly did with my husband. He is five years younger (never been married or long term girlfriend, no children) me no longer able to to have children. I told him that he should not marry me as he has no kinky fetishes, and I am not able to give him children and in a few yearsI would be looking much too old for him. He should find someone else.

We split up for about two months, he cried all day, at work and night. I cried all day and night. He did not even want to look at another women... and had them throwing themselves at his when they found out that we had split. We are totally incompatable... but we love each other.

So now we are married and I still play dressups with t-girls and we are happier than wehave ever been.

DON'T BLOW IT!

Celeste

[Georgette]

Remember Donna it is not the packaging that;s important but what is inside, you will do just fine have confidence in yourself and in your love, for him.

[carolynhcd]

Donna, honey, read, reread and read again what Amelie wrote to you in this thread. There is no reason to make a big drama out of something that could be allowed, like a flower, to unfold in its own time. If this is meant to be, then it will be. No one is shipping out to the gulf in 12 hours that requires such haste in decisionmaking. Maybe you should make love with him a few times before you make such a life-changing decision. There is no need to judge yourself so harshly. Remember, everything ends as it begins. If this begins with you feeling badly about yourself, that is how it will end. Start realizing the good things about yourself, change what you don't like that is susceptible to change by your efforts, and let the rest go to the devil, for it is out of your hands. Be happy; someone says they love you. Have you had many lovers in your life? If not so many, then perhaps you are caught up in something akin to adolescent infatuation and that is nothing to act hastily over. Calm yourself, gather your thoughts, pacify your roiling emotions and open your eyes and heart and listen to the quiet voice of truth. It takes great concentration and centeredness to hear that quiet voice. Let go of the dramatic e-mail timebomb idea and relax. The answer will present itself in the fullness of time. It is not necessary to push the river, it flows of its own accord and in its own time.

[Rachel Ann]

Donna, Donna, Donna!

Remember that as men mature looks go down the scale of what they consider important in a mate!

And he LOVES you!!!

[Rikki]

Donna,

You don't see what he sees because you are not looking at what he is. He see a beautiful person with a beutiful heart that is true. You only see an ugly old girl and not looking to the inside where the real you is. Remember the guy you was? Then the real you come out and life has been better since, that is what we all see in you, not some ugly old lady. Don't give up so easy, give him and yourself time. We all know that love is on the inside.

my two cents. I hope things work out for the best. Rikki

[Priss]

[size=2]As a transsexual, I can say that learning to accept that person whom you see in the mirror is a very difficult thing. It took quite awhile for me to see Marsha (real name here...) staring back at me in the mirror. As a matter of fact, I think that there was only one way that I could do it. I had to throw out that old belief system, and build a new one. I had to stop believing all of the stuff that had been taught to me, like gays are bad people, like God doesn't love people who are this way, like "I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed". Donna... We are worthy people. Our lives are worthwhile. We are just as deserving of all the love and kindness that the world has to give, as anyone else is. We deserve to have the love of our lives... It takes a little bit, but if you look in the mirror in the morning and instead of saying good morning to the old person, say good morning to the new person, the person that you are... Let go of those ideas that others have given you of "you'll never be a real woman", "you'll never find a true love", etc... Those are roadblocks put up, to prevent you from being who you really are, to prevent you from being happy.[/size]
[size=2][/size]
[size=2]Donna... You are deserving and worthy of this man's love. Don't pass up on the chance of a lifetime. You may regret it for the rest of time...[/size]

[DonnaT]

Donna

Take the post, print it off, [SIZE=8]burn it [/SIZE] then delete it from here so you never see it again. Especially delete the email you composed. Do not send it.

You should not care about how you think you look, that's vanity, and not good for the soul.

If he likes you, which your other posts idicate that he does, then be fair to him and yourself. You need to take it slow, as the others have said, see where the relationship takes you. Don't make snap decisions and don't feel pressured into going further than you are comfortable with.

And like any GG should also do, do not put yourself in a position you can't get out of. Such as moving in with him and having no place to go if the relationship fails, or relying on him for monetary support. In other words, keep yourself in strong independent postion, just in case things don't work out in the long run.

But don't quit before giving your relationship a chance, especially over a such a little thing like your looks.

[racquel]

that someone is crazy in love with you and you consider it a problem?re-read donna t's advise.then lay out a georgous outfit for tomorrow and start the rest of your life.oh ya and let us know what happens,we do care.huggs

[Rachel Ann]

Donna, as so often, you said it best!

[Donna Louise]

Sisters

I do not have words in my heart to thank you properly. You have been there for me in my time of need. I hope that I will be able to repay that debt in some small way in the future. As I have told others (newbies) ask a question and the collective knowledge and wisdon will answer it.

The email has be destroyed and deleted. Luckily I had save it as a draft and not sent it.

I wish you were all here so I could give you a big hug, kiss your cheek and tell you thank you in person. Please accept my heartfelt "Thank You".

Yes, I Love him dearly. I guess you have figured that out all ready. I know that he loves me too. As I said before, I saw it in his eyes. He has not pushed or even asked for sex in anyway. Unlike so many I have chatted with in the past. That seemed to be the first thing they have to say "Lets get together" seems to be the catch phrase.

I am to meet him today at 1. I have to leave the house and change in the car. It would be so much easier if I could leave here dressed. I will be lost without my makeup mirror.

Once again, Thank You so very much from stopping me from making a mistake I would have regreted the rest of my life. I would always have wondered "What If".

I promise to do my best to support and help others, here. You have done so much for me. I believe kindness is returned in kindness.

I Love You All
Donna Louise

[Sandra H]

Hi Donna Louse

Let me be the one to put a little realism into this situation. In your email to Mr. Right, you say that you do not know how you are going to hide your tears from your wife. So you are married, this means that you are having an affair it is just that this time it is with a man rather than a woman. My advice for what its worth is to get a grip of yourself.

You are obviously BI as you are in love with a man. I being straight cannot understand this, but that does not mean that I am right. The question is do you love you wife and would you be happy to leave her and everything you have with her for another person either male or female? If the answer is no then do as you are planning and meet Mr. Right to say goodbye as affairs never work out. If you are happy to leave you wife and start a completely new life, then take your time.

Consider this, supposed you have a daughter and she comes home all excited and says she has met mr right and then in less than a few weeks and one or two meetings and several emails and she said to you that she is so in love with him that they are wanting to get married you would think she was allowing her head to rule her heart. You would as a father do everything to make her slow down and take her time. Why? Because you would rightly say that she does not really know the man and you would be right.

So think long and hard, you are at a point where things can go right or very wrong. If you love your wife and are very happy with her and your life with her, then cut this affair in the bud. It will be painful, but far less painful when the s*it hit’s the fan. Then you will be hurting not only yourself and Mr. Right, but your wife also.

Think long and hard and what ever you decide I wish you the very best of luck.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Sandra has said what I really wanted to say! Thank you. Well put and non-judgementally I think weighing the situation carefully is wise!

hugs
kew

[Trinity_cat]

I agree with Sandra that you should think long and hard on which direction you want to take.

About your E-mail? Bloody hell, Girl, what are you thinking.
You are old fat and ugly? Jeez, I'd like to give you a slap to wake you up.
You run yourself down to the man you love, because you had a good look in the mirror? SLAP! and cried? SLAP! Next time you look in that mirror, laugh your dam head off. UN-slap, because that is where the beauty is - behind the laughter. Don't get blinded by the tears.
One thing puzzles me."I do not see the person he sees" .How do you know this?

[Donna Louise]

Sisters

I took Sandra's post to heart. I called him early and made an excuse not to see him today. We do have a meeting set for the 30th to spend a part of the day together. I figured this would give me a cooling off period. If my heart still feels the same then as it does today. I will see him, if not then I guess I will say goodbye.

My heart was in control. Thanks to Sandra, I'm trying to balance my heart with my head.

I was down since I really wanted to see him. I did what any girl would do. I went shopping. I picked up a white stretchy top, a black sweater and a pair of tight black pants. They lifted my spirit some. Not as much as seeing him would have but what is a girl to do?

I would like to thank every one for their kind words. Especially Sandra.

Hugs and Kisses
Donna Louise

[samanthajay]

donna you are starting to sound like my girlfrind. everyday i tell her i love her and she looks at me funnya and says something like wy do yu love me or i wish that was true or but im not pretty. and every time i tell her that i really do love her for who she is. yes sometimes she's a handful or she dosn't get along with my friends but i still love and i told god i love her. if your man says he lves you pleae dont question it. let it go and be his woman. if you love each other then be true to yourself.

[Rachel Ann]

donna you are starting to sound like my girlfrind. everyday i tell her i love her and she looks at me funnya and says something like wy do yu love me or i wish that was true or but im not pretty. and every time i tell her that i really do love her for who she is. yes sometimes she's a handful or she dosn't get along with my friends but i still love and i told god i love her. if your man says he lves you pleae dont question it. let it go and be his woman. if you love each other then be true to yourself.

Samantha, you are quite right - but I think that Sandra's points are well taken.

As far as I know, women have been complaining about and downgrading their looks since time began. And as far as I know, there is no right thing that a man can say in a situation like that.

[Donna Louise]

Donna, I missed this in your letter, but Are you married to a GG? Do you have a wife as well as going out with this other man? If this is true, this might be another reason you are in a confused state.
Amelie

Amelie

Yes, my wife is a gg. We have been together since 74, married in 75. A few years ago, our marriage has moved into the roommate phase. Our daughter is 29 and grandson 10.

I probably should not tell you this but - a couple months ago, I was feeling frisky (guy mode). Got the wife in to take a mid-day nap. Well I tried and what I got in return was nothing but, "I will still love you if we never have s- again". Now I am not looking for a crying post or shoulder the fact is we have been together once this year.

I have only seen one other man once and did not turn out the way I wanted. He would not even return emails afterwards. The man in question in this orig post, we have done nothing but kiss a little.

Yes, I am confussed at times. I have been dressing off and on almost my entire life. For about the past 10 years I have thought often what it would be like to be with a man. About 6 months ago I tried it. Even though afterwards was bad, it felt good, you might even say right. I would love to be completely faithful to my wife but I have this deep desire to have more.

I will never hide things from my sisters here. I know that I will get crap for this but, if so I probably deserve it.

I hope this answers your questions.

Hugs
Donna Louise

[DonnaT]

Well color my face red

I missed the married part too! I do not condone affairs outside of the marriage. If you had your wife's permission, then that would be different.

I'm glad Sandra (and Kew) caught it and you listened to her.

Guess I'll have to be more careful reading some posts.

[Donna Louise]

Sisters,

I have always tried to be completely honest with you. I have never tried to hide anything. Now I feel as if I have let you all down. If so please let me know.

DonnaT, Amelie - what can I say, other then I'm Sorry. Maybe I don't fit in here after all.

Donna Louise

[AnnaMaria]

Donna,

I can see where some of your confussion is comming from. I went through the same thing before I left my first wife. I felt as if something was missing and that the thing that was missing was in the gg that I was attracted to. But I did nothing about it at first and she moved to Boston from Indiana. When that happened I felt lost and alone for a while but then I started to accept that she was gone. Then about three months after she left I had to spend two weeks in Louisiana for the military. I had no idea that she would be there or that I would ever see her again. But when I arrived there she was there and it all came rushing back to overwhelm me. During that two weeks we spent a lot of time together and eventually even had sex a few times. Then it was time to go home. We made plans to stay in contact via email and left it at that. But, when I got home everything fell apart. And less than 24hrs after getting home I left for good.

Now 4yrs later I look back on that time and realize that God was sending me a message. My first waife was very open sexually but completely against anything that I wanted. And I realize now that no matter what I would have left her anyway. Now after four yrs of living with my second wife and being married for just over a yr I realize that she is the one that I was ment to be with.

I am fortunate in that she is very accepting of who I really am, and she is willing to explore this side of me with me instead of pushing me away because of some stereotype of people like us. It has only been a few weeks since she found out about my real feelings about who I really am and we have spent more time in those few weeks talking than we ever did before. I now realize that the more open that we are the better things are going to be. And the more supportive we are to each other the closer we will be in the long run.

That said I feel that I should also say that the only thing that I regret in the transition between the two wives is that I was not free of the first before I started with the second. It really created a lot of stress between us at the begining. And since you are married I would like to do my best to try and save you some of that heartache. So my advise is to take stock of the life you are living and make sure that you are willing to give that part of you up in order to move on to the next stage of your life.

For me the first thing that would be on my mind would be my daughter. I would want to talk to her and explain the situation to her as gently and respectfully as possible and make sure that I wasn't going to loose her in the process. Her rejection would be the one thing that I would not be able to deal with. But I would want her to know from me instead of her mom so that I could control what she was told and how she was told about who I really am. Rather than her mom telling her in a way that would cast a shadow on our relationship. As I am sure that most here can attest, gg's can be very brutal and vengeful when they want to be. Especially when they feel that their womanhood is being threatened or attacked.

But at the same time you have to follow your heart. Use your head to guide yoru final decisions but your heart will decide if you are going to be happy or not for the rest of your life. And above all remember that beauty comes from within not from the skin. Just because you don't see what he loves about you doesn't mean that it's not there it just means that it is so much a part of you that you don't realize it exists. I don't personally find myself attracted to men. It's just not part of who I am but I do realize and accept the fact that love is love and no matter what we do in our own lives there will always be others that are different from us and that doesn't mean that we should reject them as people just because we don't live the same way or feel the same way. That out of hand rejection is a big part of the reason that cd's have such a hard time in this world.

My heart and prayers go out to you in your time of need and I hope that in some way I have said something that will help you in your strugle to be all that you can be. Wheather as a woman or a man. The heart doesn't have a sex and doesn't see the way we see. It only sees love and inner beauty. Not the ugliness of the world aroud us.

huggs
anna