FtM's That Like Men

[RevMoonSerpent]

Ok, I haven't started a thread in awhile but, I'm in a rant mood.
First, I want to say that I like the positive way that the media has been educating the public on what it means to be transgender.
My only small irritation with the matter is that everyone of the programs that I have seen that represent the FtM community are all in relationships with women.
Now, before anyone starts jumping on me for being against FtM's that are dating women, you can hold onto those thoughts because I have no problem with people seeing whomever they want in life as long as the person is happy.
I just wish for once they would show that a transgender person, being FtM or MtF, can be in a relationship with the same gender. It would make some of us that come out to family and friends a little easier when they mistake gender for sexual preference.
I have personal experience with this as I have had a difficult time trying to convince my family that although I am transgender, that does not mean I want to start dating women and divorce my husband.
Ugh, I think I'm done with my rant but, just had to get that out.

[Kate Simmons]

I know what you mean. The media(and everyone else it seems) automatically assumes that a man transitioning to a woman is attracted to men and a woman transitioning to a man is attracted to women. That's the "normal" thing. Then everyone, even though "shocked" says: "Okay now I get it". Problem is, it doesn't take into account feelings of the person. If a woman who becomes a man decides he likes men , people say:"WTF, what was the point of them changing?" Obviously, they still don't "get it". I decided long ago that if I ever transitioned (which I'm not), I would probably still like women. I seem to have a rapport with women (except my wife) and am more comfortable around them. I would probably end up being a lesbian. So what? That's who I am as a person and what my feelings are. When are people simply going to accept the person for who they are and forget about what "society" thinks? I accept everyone for who they are, as they are. The world would be much better if everyone else could also. Ericka Kay

[ReginaK]

I agree with Ericka. The general population automatically assumes FtM guys are "just lesbians" and the media feeds them this stereotype in order to keep the peace.

[CaptLex]

I'm glad you said it, Rev. I've had such a hard time explaining my sexual orientation to people too - it's frustrating, I know. I even have a gay male friend who didn't get it. He finally did when I said, "I'm exactly like you . . . except that I look like a girl." And I've had people ask me why I want to transition since I can already date men as a female.

The way I see it, most of the general population is attracted to the opposite sex (in varying degrees, I know, just making a general statement), and it's the same with the trans population. So most people assume that others are straight and they assume that we are all straight. I just simplify it and tell people that most people are straight, but approximately 10% are gay (debatable, I know) and most trans people are straight, but I fall in the 10% category there. That usually works, but if they still don't get it after that, I give up.

You're right, though, the media could do a better job about clarifying this when they talk about us since most people don't know trans people (or know that they know trans people) and get their info from TV shows, etc.

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]The thing about assumptions is that many times they are wrong.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[Kimberley]

The media like so many others just dont get it.

Gender and sexual preference are two different things that are in no way related. We even see people here on the forums who miss the point. Guess we just have to keep hammering away at it.

Think people are getting tired of listening to Donna and I yet?


Kimberley

[Felix]

Omg!!!!!!!!! It's those little boxes again that society like to put us all into nicely packaged to make everybody else but ourselves feel comfortable. It does my head in sooooooooo much. People just need to let other people be and just try taking the labels away for a while and just see the people for themselves. I like women and I know that If I was a man I would still like women even though I find gay men extremely attractive and I love to be in their company, but I would never have a relationship with a man straight or gay. I do understand where you are coming from though so go for it it is your life and your sexual preference at the end of the day. The problem is socities don't let it become yours live and let live and to hell with the rest!!! Whoops I've blown my trumpet there but I do feel so strongly about such stuff cos I hate discrimination. Silvawitch@Frodo xxxx

[KrazyKat]

Maybe too many people subscribe to the saying, "Ignorance is Bliss", because a lot of them can't understand when it's right in front of them, when they are told over and over, they still don't get it!!
I always quote what Karen's therapist and Doc says, that they believe that all people are bi-sexual, some just don't act upon it, because all sex therapists tell you that 90% of sexual intimaticies are about the brain, I'm a thinking that controls all the hormone outputs from visual images.
It's kinda strange, but as I get older, woman don't look so bad , sexually, that is. I was quite sure there was no attraction before, but now that I' ve realized how attracted I am to a transgendered MTF, it's opened my mind.

Kat

[Sarah Rabbit]

I am a transgendered MtF who is married to and adore my GG but do experience attractions to certain GM's that I know. Had I been born a GG would I still be attracted to the GG or GM. My brother put this to me, and I had no answer. having spent the last year or so trying to figure it out with NO success, I've decided to let it slide and just enjoy myself. maybe one day it will come to me, maybe not

Sarah R.

[Abraxas]

It's always annoyed me. People do assume that all FTMs like girls. . . And probably assume that all MTFs like men. Which is totally wrong. ARGH.
I mean, I really do appreciate that talk shows and networks, etc., are being "daring" enough to finally put us in the spotlight and do a bit of educating. And I also appreciate that they (mostly) try to do it in an informative and educational way (as in, they don't make TGs like a spectacle, they treat them, and their stories, like everyone else).
But I don't appreciate the fact that they don't do enough research, or that they don't acknowledge FTMs a lot. Like-- did anyone catch that episode of the Tyra Banks show where they had a bunch of transpeople on? I believe two (but definitely at least one) were FTM. And then at the end of the show they had a therapist talking about transgender issues, and she made absolutely no mention of FTMs, even though there had been a couple of them on the show! I was like, WTF? She kept saying, "yeah, these girls are so brave," and "what must it have been like to go from a boy to a girl"-- I mean probably not that but ya get what I'm gettin' at. And it's like, the FTMs were sitting thre just looking at her like "what, we're invisible now?"
That pissed me off a bit.
I mean, I'm not knocking MTFs at ALL, but seriously, it pisses me off when we boys don't get any credit, or get ignored like that. Especially when there were FTMs sitting RIGHT THERE!

Okay. Rant over. I'm jolly again.

[Sarah Rabbit]

I can understand your annoyance. as CaptLex wrote not long ago "Most people do not know that FtM exist" Sorry CaptLex, if I misquoted you, but the feeling is there. Most people (I hate ppl, as a short form) do not know FtM exist. I did not know FtM existed until I came here. (What an education this place has been) I asked once, whether people think that a FtM is mistaken for a 'Tomboy' and I suppose that still holds true. Maybe one day things will change...I hope so

Sarah R.

[CaptLex]

And then at the end of the show they had a therapist talking about transgender issues, and she made absolutely no mention of FTMs, even though there had been a couple of them on the show!

Yeah, I caught that show too. I kept waiting for Tyra to correct the therapist, but she seemed oblivious to the mistake. Aaaaarrrggghhh!!!

You're right, Lex, it's one thing to assume that everyone is straight (since most people are), but when we correct the assumption, people should be fine with that. Some people aren't - and they can't hide their reaction.

Sarah (bunny) - you are wise.

[KrazyKat]

"Actually I'm gay/bisexual/pansexual/asexual/any other type of sexual,"

Lex, can I borrow this?
Like , this is my story , and I'm sticking to it?
Maybe add to my business cards, like, uh, sexual business cards, like "who's business is it" card.
It still is a passion of mine, to educate people to let go of the need to place people into a gender, isn't just being a good human being enough? Why does being a good person have anything to do with gender and sex?

I just like to give people the Khesire Kat grin, and let them wonder what I've been up to,
Kat

[Kieron Andrew]

im tri-sexual.......i'll try anything once

[RevMoonSerpent]

Thanks for all the responses. I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one bothered by this issue.

[KrazyKat]

Kieron, reminds me of an old movie in the 70's, Maybe a Jacqueline Suzanne thing, with the famous line:

[SIZE=3]ONCE IS NEVER ENOUGH!![/SIZE]

Probably only works if you liked it the first time,

Kat
PS Thanks , Lex, I didn't wanna be looking over my shoulder, lol, like fight club coming to get me or anything!!
Course I used to be pretty good at wrestling as a youngster!! And ya know, I just thought of this, there was a time when I dreamed of getting into a real fight, I guess I was thinking of with girls, because I wanted to show them how you should really fight, not pulling hair, and you know, girly fight!! That's funny I just thought of that, must go meditate!

[Felix]

Talkin about TV programmes I always watch documentaries about transgenger and I agree there just aren't enough programmes about female to male trans ppl Every time I see a advert I think great but its always male to female. No disrespect ofcourse because I find them very informative but I would love to see more female to male trans documentaries There is one documentary that is on every so often about female to male trans and it is really good it follows the the guys through to begining hormone therapy and the processes they had to undergo it was a great documentary and we need more!!!!

[CaptLex]

Talkin about TV programmes I always watch documentaries about transgenger and I agree there just aren't enough programmes about female to male trans ppl

This is why I liked the show Transgeneration (don't know if you caught that). It had two MtFs and two FtMs so it showed how different the trans experience can be for all. Usually we only get to see one side of the story.

[kittypw GG]

This is why I liked the show Transgeneration (don't know if you caught that). It had two MtFs and two FtMs so it showed how different the trans experience can be for all. Usually we only get to see one side of the story.

Transgeneration has a followup show comming up in oct I think. They show you what the people featured are up to now. I caught the show and will catch the follow up.

[Ms. Donna]

Every time I see a advert I think great but its always male to female. No disrespect ofcourse because I find them very informative but I would love to see more female to male trans documentaries

Female bodies 'masculinize' better that male bodies 'feminize'. Transmen have a better time 'passing' as T will bulk you up, lower your voice (a bit) and give you that all important body and facial hair. At best, E will give some physical changes, but not to the extent the T will. I think this allows Transmen to keep a much lower profile and therefore, there simply is not the same level of curiosity out there for the F2Ms. You are simply not as visible: good or bad, all depending on your POV.

M2F transwomen have been and will continue to be a curiosity primarily from the whole social perspective: why would any 'man' want to become a woman? To abdicate male privilege? To chop off their, er, manhood? We are such a male dominated society that people could see a 'woman' wanting to become a 'man' - but a 'man' wanting to become a woman... Why?

We understand that the motivation is different. We can look at both sides of the hall and understand what at a base level what is going on. The general public - to them, we're either the wackos on Jerry Springer or those 'poor souls' on the documentries. In both cases, almost exclusively male bodied.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[deakane]

We are such a male dominated society

Donna

Good one ! I needed a good laugh tonight !