Wife's cracking down on "Girl's Jeans"

[Teal]

Well, I'm kind of bummed out...the wife told me she no longer likes the way my jeans look. She has no idea I crossdress or even buy women's jeans, I've just been able to pull it off, I guess. So, now she wants a more loose look with no flare, that I just don't care for. Well, I don't wear the fuschia stretch ones in the attached picture when I'm with her but I sure love them. I've gained a little weight and it seems to go right to my butt (stomach, too). I've always had sort of wide, womanly hips for some reason. I suppose my wife just wants me to look like a guy...oh, well. Not one of the lucky ones who's SO is tolerant.

[JoAnnDallas]

I have to say, they look good on you.

[Annaliese]

I suppose my wife just wants me to look like a guy...oh, well.

I ware low rise jeans you might try a pair of them the last pair I got were Levi's from Wal-mart boot cut they fit great you can get them in stright legs also.

And do you tell your wife what to ware. Dress in what you like and are comforble in, if you tell her that you are more comfortble in the jeans you ware then she cant argue with that.

Anna

[Karren H]

Just tell her you really want to wear gauchos or capris....she will let you keep your jeans. Lol

Love Karren

[Marla S]

Well, if your wife doesn't know that you crossdress and she doesn't know your wear woman's labeled jeans (How that ??? Are the labels cut out ? Or do you wash and iron your own clothes ?), all that has nothing to do with CDing. She just don't like the look. Ask her why.

Or she is aware of the non-cutout labels and knows that you wear women's pants. Than it could be time to put your cards on the table.

Label or not, I am quite sure your SO knows that you wear fem-pants if you wear them in her presence. (GGs have an eye for that, and CDs sometimes become blind due to wishful thinking )

[Charleen]

Bummer! i love mine, and wear nothing else. I have a pair of Riders that are up to the waist, and straight cut. Betcha a nickle wifey would know unless she looked at the size. Just a thought. Love and xxxx, Lily

[JoAnnDallas]

Recently, I accidently (really) put on one of her Hanes T-shirts. We were out at Wal-Mart when she looked at me and said " That's my T-shirt". I remarked that it was mine. She then looked at the tag and sure enough it was hers. I then said to her "Well, I like it and it feels great". So she bought me a bunch of them while we were at the Wal-Mart.

[Jillian310]

[SIZE="3"][/SIZE] This may be slightly off topic, but.....the other day I noticed that wifey was kind of struggling with the fly zipper on HER jeans. I asked her why her jeans dont have the zipper on the side (like they did when I was in school). She sort of snickered, and said that they haven't been that way in ages. Hmm. I never wear jeans, so wouln't have known. One of the things I like about my skirts is the zippers are on the right side or in the back. So, are front zipper women's jeans just another example of opposite gender apparel, but f to m?

[Sandra]

Instead of moaning about here, tell her why you like wearing them you never know she may like the idea

[Calliope]

So, now she wants a more loose look with no flare, that I just don't care for.

I've been in that spot and found simply turning the table did the trick. (Of course, my missus is radically unfem, so the effect was pretty acute.) 'You can't wear lipstick at the grocery store,' she would say; 'Alright, then you wear the lipstick' I countered. Tra la la... No, she's not especially happy - but I am dressing as I please now.

Um, thinking it over, considering my marriage right now, probably best to disregard my advice.

[BrendaB GG]

Not one of the lucky ones who's SO is tolerant.

Teal, I have to agree your hips do look great!

But I have to wonder, you say you are unlucky because your wife is not tolerant, but how can she ever be tolerant if she doesn't know that you dress?
If she knew that you were a CD, then maybe that would explain your taste in jeans and you could continue to wear them. Just a thought to consider.
Brenda

[nishababe]

Dear Teal,

You look great ,with a really curvy ,girly figure !!
To quote a previous thread of mine ,
'' You should have been born as a Girl ''

Love Nishababexx

[Teal]

You know, I'm not sure if she's tolerant or not, or just chooses to ignore things. I must say she's very observant in all ways, but I bought several pair last year from the Gap, Newport News, etc. and I never cut out the labels hoping she would confront me on it, but she never has...and she does the laundry. She does tease me about how I bootleg all her lotions, hair products, etc. and says stuff like, "you should have been born a girl, the way you primp." On the jeans, she may have just gotten to the point that she doesn't want other people (friends) to think anything odd. But all the evidence is there, size 12L right in the waistband, but she says nothing or just doesn't look. Thanks all, for the kind words and support! Some day I'll come out to her and this great weight will be lifted!

[nishababe]

Just loveeeeeeeeeeeee Girls jeans,I have all types and wear the really girly ones at home or at night ,wear the less obvious ones all the time .Love the colours ,and fit ahhhhhhhh ,they feel just great and also like you just always love wearing panties and stockings underneath wowwwwwwwww ,I just love anything girly mmmmmmmmmmm !!

Love ''Nishababe''

[Marla S]

You know, I'm not sure if she's tolerant or not, or just chooses to ignore things. I must say she's very observant in all ways, but I bought several pair last year from the Gap, Newport News, etc. and I never cut out the labels hoping she would confront me on it, but she never has...and she does the laundry. She does tease me about how I bootleg all her lotions, hair products, etc. and says stuff like, "you should have been born a girl, the way you primp." On the jeans, she may have just gotten to the point that she doesn't want other people (friends) to think anything odd. But all the evidence is there, size 12L right in the waistband, but she says nothing or just doesn't look. Thanks all, for the kind words and support! Some day I'll come out to her and this great weight will be lifted!

Well, than you can be quite sure she knows or at least has a very founded guess.
That she seems to ignore it most of the time, seems not untypical to me. In doubt she doesn't want to hurt you or she trys to avoid a confrontation. Same for her wanting to change your pants style. Maybe she can't stand it anymore, but doesn't want to name it, and says "I want you to wear baggy pants" instead of saying "I don't want you to wear woman's pants."

I think it is about time for the both of you to have a little talk. (careful and prepared)
The "someday" should be very soon. Waiting doesn't make things better here.

Only after this talk you will have a first impression if she is open to be at least tolerant.

[RikkiOfLA]

Teal,

I have to agree with Marla. I think what you have here is a case of "don't ask--don't tell." I think your wife probably knows full well that you're wearing women's jeans. And if they fit like those fuchsia ones do, she probably worries that everyone else does too. And it's possible that she doesn't admire the look on you. (She might even be jealous?)

But she clearly doesn't know why you buy women's jeans. She may be thinking "The dumb things that guys do!" And rather than call you names, she's trying to be polite. She's trying to let you wear the women's jeans, if that's what you like, but try a looser size or cut, so you look less like a girl in them. Of course, you like looking like a girl (don't we all!) but she doesn't know that.

So a heart-to-heart talk would answer her "why" questions.

When I started crossdressing, I didn't believe I would ever pass. (For those who think that and haven't really tried it, I have news: it's probably easier than you think!) So I dressed androgynously. Very androgynously. Shorts with dark pantyhose, black nail polish, chunky heels, earrings, and a purse. It was fun, and it was gutsy. I carried it off. It taught me the self confidence I needed to carry off crossdressing for real, but that's another thread. Anyway, one day when I was leaving the men's room, a guy coming in gave me this look like "one of us is in the wrong restroom!" and I realized that I had taken it too far. I also realized that, while I'd been having fun, it was my wife who had the real guts--she'd had to be seen with me, when I looked like a freak sometimes! And she was never as blind as I led myself to believe. She had (and still has) a lot of courage. Today she's winning the fight against lung cancer. Yeah!

So I have a pretty good idea that your wife has seen it, and is putting her foot down. To be frank, I suspect your appearance has become embarrassing to her.

Would she accept it if you crossdressed tastefully and passably, looking like a real woman? I can't read her mind, of course. But it would probably be easier on her than you trying to be a guy in those tight-fitting jeans.

And you'd have the perfect excuse to wear the jeans.

Sincerely,
Rikki

[Sam-antha]

Simple, it is the colour.
~Samm

[Stephenie S]

Dear Jillian,

Yes, you can still buy jeans and pants with the zipper on the side. I forget where I saw them but it was on line and within the last week. Try Googling side zip pants. If I run across it again I will post the link here.

Steph

[Teal]

Yes, believe it or not, I think sometimes she almost feels threatened to a degree...that somehow I look better than her. My wife is very beautiful, mind you, but you know how GG's can be. I think she feels she should have the market cornered on the "girl stuff." Then again, other times we hang out together, go shopping and she almost treats me like a girlfriend...just a vibe I get. I guess because I'm so into women's fashions, I'll pick shoes for her, we'll talk girl's stuff...even read Lucky magazine together. You're right something should give, probably sooner than later. Today I went to Wal-Mart, looked at the guy's jeans and then went right to the women's dept and picked out several pair of jeans to try on. Ended up with another pair of stretch low-rise boot cut. They're a little looser than some I have. Only problem is they have that little squiggle embroidery on the back pockets like 7's...but man, the look good! Maybe I can pull them off and she won't mind them. I just can't help myself!

[Nancie64]

Sometimes we are a little nervous about letting our wife or g/f know how we feel. Don't want to take the chance. My wife helps me buy clothes and a few weeks ago while she was looking at jeans, I picked up a pair and she asked if those would fit me. I guess I answered that there is only one way to tell and off to the dressing room I went. Needed one size smaller, There nice and I love them with my casual heels. The color was probably a dead give away. Go for the regular jeans for while, than ask if she could help pick out a nice pair for both of you, maybe matching. Good Luck

[kathy gg]

Okay...lots of things to ponder on this post......

If she does not know what ths scoop is on the jeans you are wearing, then she is either blind or is pulling the "dont' ask don't tell" trick and her little comment to you is her way of making clear how she feels, even though you choose not to be clear.

Secondly it is possibleshe thinks you are just a big dumb guy that keeps grabbing the wrong pants every time he goes shopping....

Thridly....as said eariler...how can one complain about non-acceptance when one has not asked for acceptance! Gotta love how boys minds work.

And my last point: how can she feel threatened when she *supposably* has no idea you are a cd? Are you really feminine and have people always mistaking you for a super-model in the grocery store?

Anyway...if you really desire to have your way {as you have been having without any input from her} then why dont' you tell her that this is your style and until you start dictating to her what she wears she has no say in how you dress.....? Get tough and insist ? WHy not....?

[Phyliss]

I guess my wife is doing the "don't ask" thing. Over the last few months I've picked up about three or four jeans from Fashion Bug and Dress Barn. One of the things I've been careful about is to look for jeans without designs on the back pockets. I'll admit they're not easy to find, (the hunt is part of the fun) but I have found them. L.A. Blues is the brand that Fashion Bug carries.
With my first pair, wife asked "Where'd you get those?" "Oh, I picked them up at K Mart the other day. What with my loosing weight my other work jeans are getting baggy." "Oh,....." kept doing what ever it was I was doing and nothing more has been said. BTW I do the laundry so I don't have to worry about tags. As for the stretch aspect of the material, I found a pair of "guy" jeans that have some stretch so I bought them while I happened to be with her. Didn't need them but had to prove a point.

[annekathleen]

I have about 15 pair of "womens" jeans that I can get away with wearing about 4-5 different pair without anyone noticing. Another 4-5 pair that are boot cut and a little tighter in the lower legs, especially around the ankles, and the remaining 4-5 pair are definatley and obviously a womens pair of jeans, you know stretch jeans, frayed around the hem and waist, etc..

[Marla S]

I've gained a little weight and it seems to go right to my butt (stomach, too).

Ended up with another pair of stretch low-rise boot cut.

Uhhh, maybe that is the reason.
Gaining wight and wearing low rise boot cut jeans is risky.
That easily can produce a not so favorable "double butt".

Ok, I don't think this is the reason ....

Maybe I can pull them off and she won't mind them. I just can't help myself!

Face it ! She knows, she feels uncomfortable. It's up to you to sort this out. It's up to the both of you to find at least an agreemend (by talking and not by guessing)

[Annesah]

I like the Sears "Gloria Vanderbilt" line. They offer a conservative yet trim pair of stretch jeans that might satisfy both your wife and you.