Shopping

[Fanny57]

Hi Girls, I love to dress but unfortunatly I'm still in the closet. I have gone to different stores to purchase some intimate items or even some clothes each time a bit braver than the last time. It's a bit hard though at times because I have purchased the wrong sizes. Sometimes I'll get a bit of a stare from the sales girls but that adds to the thrill. Well my problem at present is I'd love to buy some heels but don't want to order on-line, I have seen in some of the forums that Payless has larger sizes and are resonably priced, if I get the nerver up. How many of you girls really do your sopping at the stores and does anyone know of a store open to CD'ers on LI, NY., also would love to purchase a reasonable wig......Thanks for any help...Luv....Fanny....

[CindyT]

I often go shopping perhaps with the wife or one of the kids for other stuff and when you walk into many dept. stores the very first thing you see is womens clothes!!!!! I casually glance thru the stuff as I pass by when it's busy, then, later when there is not so much of a crowd I'll buy some regular things THEN wander over to the womens section and pick out 1 or 2 things. I try to have some stuff in the cart to hide them as I continue to shop.

I often "Case" the checkout, first, to see if I (or my wife) know the checkout person.

I find that it seems to look better if you have a shopping list in your hand and pick up a womans item, then look at the list as if the wife wrote it down for me to get.

Works for me!

I'm too impatient to order online because I want to try it on right away! However I am considering doing some online shopping......

[CindyT]

Did anyone else get the latest Victorias Secret Swimsuit catalog? HOT! HOT! HOT!

I don't know what I like better, ogling over all the Hot babes OR considering ordering one of those sexy outfits! There are lots of other items besides the swimsuits like those stretchy jeans and cute tank tops. In much the same manner as a girl, I love to shop for new outfits!

I just got the catalog today, so if you are on their mailing list, it's coming! If you are NOT on their mailing goto their website and DO signup!

Also I noticed that if you search "Victorias Secret" on Ebay there are a lot of items there at wholesale prices!

I really want an entire outfit........

Hmmmmm


Cindy

[MichelleH]

I sympathize with Fanny. I am always very embarrased to go shopping and many things I've never had the nerve to buy. My only bra I got at a crossdresser's shop. I'd like to get some more, but I just can't bring myself to go into a regular store and buy one. What does everyone else do? It would also be hard for me to order online since I'd have to get things shipped to the house.

Michelle

[CindyT]

Michelle, I recently changed all my mail to a PO Box mainly for security reasons. You know there is all that "Indentity theft" plus someone could steal my mail, so when I got the mailbox only I have the key! That is the only way I can do it.....

Cindy

[jenny_k78]

So far all of my purchases have been off the internet. I have to go out of town for any options and that doesn't happen very often. My next trip out might be for that special something . I find it easy to order stuff off the net but it was tough at first trying to get the right size. I would like to buy from a store once to have the thrill of the experience.

Cindy.. I like the tip on using a shopping list, I may just give it a try.

[CindyT]

Remember, how do the sales people know if you are getting something for your wife or girlfriend? I really IS a thrill to shop and "Get Away" with it! Just act normal and no one will think anything..... don't be looking all around or anything, just act like you do this all the time.

I feel more at ease if I am out of town where no one knows me, I give them the impression that either my wife made a list of "Sale" items OR that I'm gonna surprise her with something special! If they don't know her, they don't know she "Just Happens" to be "Just MY Size"! Think about it!

Cindy

[Lee]

Hi Girls,The frist couple of items I bought scared me to dead ,heart pounding,everybody looking at what I had on the counter,well you know what I mean.It seems now,thanks to this forum and all the wonderful ladies,I am not scared anymore.I just look around until I see what I like.The next thing I want to do is try on a skirt in the dressing room.That would be exciting!I did buy a skirt that is a little bigger than I wanted.I guess I will have to ask the sale lady if I can.I will let you know when I do this.

[Summer]

Why not just pick a women store. Go in and start shopping, if the sales lady ask to help. Say yes, I am trying to decide on this or that. If she askes who are you shopping for say me. You will find they will not look at you funny. And more than happy to help you find what is best and make suggestions. I almost always ask help with colors, I am color blind. They are on commission. A sale is a profit for them. I have never had a problem being direct.
Summer

[Fanny57]

Hey Cindy, It definetly is a thrill to have the sales girls guessing. When I started purchacing delicates I once went to an adult intamate shop. Well the girl kept coming over to see if I needed help and I couldn't decide on the right size so I finnally told her it was for me, she didn't even flinch and helped me out, and of course because of the type of store it was expensive but worth it. Yesterday I went to Sears and purchased a pretty blue night gown which I'm wearing now and slept in last night. I love purchasing my string panties I wear and have a few different ones. I also love the lace top thigh-hi's Sears has, I very rally wear panty hose anymore.....Thaks girls for the feedback.........Luv.........Fanny.........

[CindyT]

I was working with a contractor at a factory one time, this factory uses a lot of liquid materials for their machine. They use a lot of "Rags" to clean up spills. So they goto a store that buys and sells used clothing. This store gets a lot of donations from people who are purging thier wardrobe to make room for more stuff. What they do is order a a truckload of clothes to use for rags! When we spilled some stuff I was told to go to the large bin and get an armload of "Rags" to clean it up - mostly womens clothes! A CD'S Dream! I dug thru the stuff and found a TON of bras, skirts, tops and a lot of sexy stuff like thong bodysuits! I carefully set aside a bunch fo stuff and when no one was around put them in my truck! What a killing! This was how I figured out what my girls size was, by trying on different sizes. Everything is used and washed before they sell it but I washed them anyway just to be sure! I got a whole pile of stuff from that one!!!! I hope we go back there soon,,,,,
Cindy

[PaulaJeanette]

Wow, Cindy...that's about as close to nirvana as one can get...awash in mostly women's clothes...a true crossdresser's dream! I bet your heart was racing! I know mine would be going a mile a minute.

You know, that "adrenaline rush" may just be part of the addiction...like the thrill of winning in competition or wearing women's clothing or shopping in the women's department of a store. I believe we can all recognize it whenever we experience our hearts racing, shallow breathing, etc. Physiologically, all those functions trigger brain chemicals to be released. I'm feeling one now...sitting hear in panties under my shorts and typing this response.

Lee...when purchasing clothes in the women's department, ask the clerk if they have a box to establish the point that this is a gift for your wife or girlfriend. You can also ask where the gift wrapping is done to get across the same plausible point. I've used it A LOT. Only time I didn't try the gift charade was at Glamour Boutique...what would have been the point, right? Who else would shop there?

Summer...if I looked like you and went shopping, I'd proudly say and would have no problems telling the clerk, the items are for me. Doll, you'd be able to get anything in Nordstroms without a second look.

Enjoy your day ladies...

Paula J

[lizzy b]

I've read the posts on this thread with great interest. I've gone through the same emotions and feelings as many of you, but now have gotten to the point where I feel entirely comfortable buying clothes/shoes, etc. and have rarely, if ever, had any sort of untoward stare or comment. Yes, I've had great success at Payless and they seem to have a decent selection in larger sizes along with very reasonable prices (def. go there on buy 1 get the second at 1/2 price...it's a great deal). I had recently written elsewhere that I had purchased a very lovely pair of three inch black pumps at a Payless while dressed as a man several weeks ago. The young salesgirl (early-mid 20s) rang them up then out of the blue said, "What will you wear with these, they're very pretty". At first I didn't know what to say, but then said I had a matching black mini skirt, but wasn't sure of the top as yet. She smiled and said she was sure it would look very pretty (or something to that effect)...to shorten the story, I called back and spoke with here a few weeks later and came to see her fully dressed en femme. She was marveled at how I looked and we've been spending time together over the past week or so...go figure!

[PaulaJeanette]

Lizzy B:

How lucky and fortunate you are to have run into a very positive minded female. Makes me feel good that there are many supportive and "interested" females just waiting for the opportunity to interact with a crossdresser. As a married crossdresser, I wonder what I'd do if confronted with a similar chance.

Enjoy your new found friendship,

Paula J.

[lizzy b]

Thanks Paula...I live alone for now and don't begin my new job for two more weeks, so I've had a lot of time of late to dress full-time. I've taken advantage of it to experiment with different looks (one of my sisters is a beautician/cosmetician who fully accepts and supports me and works "wonders" as well) and have been with my new "friend" solely en femme. What makes it a bit odd is that she has no desire to see me otherwise and has come to treat me (I believe) as though I was truly a woman. It is a bit novel as far as my past experiences go, but we get along well and who knows where this is leading? Sometimes life takes some very odd twists.

[Germaine]

I have purchased all of my clothing from ebay...I love the trill of the bid... I have went shopping for the sole purpose of looking for something for me with my girlfriend but couldnt find anything i really liked...My girlfriend loves to shop with me and thinks it is very entertaining...She also talks about getting me dressed in something casual...jeans, heeled boots, and a top. I have a wig and makeup...I am not a passer...i would never fool anybody but she and i have a great time working on outfits and planning outings...I am planning on video taping our next outage for a documentary on crossdressing...

[newfemale]

I figured out a few ways to buy things without many problems. If you are wanting to buy make-up, or many other beauty products, go to a CVS. They have TONS of things to buy there. But to keep intentions hidden, bring a jacket with a hood, to hide your face. Get your items, pay the cashier, and leave. You don't even need to speak. Something else good about that is that the items there are very inexpensive. You can also take your girlfriend with you, point out things you'd like to get to her, give her the money and have her buy them. Its that easy!

-I hope this helps some people!

[Kimmy]

I'm too afraid to shop in person... so I end up shelling out for shipping and waiting forever for some stuff to get to me, and taking the risk that it'll be damaged in transit and cost me more to have it replaced...

I usually carry a shopping list anyway, but my mind just won't let me relax about it. I've bought a few things, but never clothing... the last time I tried to have a female friend of mine stand with me and take the blame, like I was buying her something... she started mouthing off about my wearing it or if it would fit or not, right color, etc... things like that. I could have died!

I keep trying to tell myself that these cashiers and shoppers don't know me, and if I'm in a different town they'll never see me again most likely. But I still can't get over the anxiety and just do the shopping I want to do. I get so nervous just thinking about it, I glance at the section and instantly start to worry even though I really want to go in and look around. The times that I do manage to go in I'm so nervous I really don't look as well as I would like to, and pretty much just get out fast with nothing in hand.

I'm sure the solution to fixing my shopping anxiety is to "Just do it" and it'll become easier in time. But my situation doesn't even let me go out on my own when I want to give it a try. No car, lost my job, <insert more bad luck here>.... I keep wanting to go to places like Goodwill because some of them have great clothes at super prices... but it all falls back to I can't go anywhere with out family or friends around me.

Life can really suck.

[Germaine]

I am of the mind...f what people think...me and my gf go out and have a great time going out and picking things out...we dont make a big deal about it and most people dont pay any mind to you...so i would say go out and buy and live how you want... and have fun...

[Kimmy]

I know I should be like that... sometimes I get into that mindset and buy some little things and don't care... I know it's just a mental anxiety that doesn't make sense, and that I should over come it. But it's like any kind of phobia I guess, sure it doesn't make sense to hate water like I do... and to others it might seem strange or even silly that someone should be afraid of a little thing like water. But I am... and it's a big fear that doesn't make rational since.

One of these days I'll make an active struggle to shop how I want... take that big deep breath and walk in and make myself stay until I find something I like. I know it's as simple as that... but I wonder if anyone else with a similar fear has tips or tricks to helping yourself calm down and over come the anxiety?

[Germaine]

I myself had a severe fear of dark places well into my teen years which is crippling when your fear incompasses ridicule..I understand you when you say you know it is irrational and you know it doesnt make sense..i knew the dark wasnt any different than the day, but the mind is very powerful...but what i did to conquer the fear was little by little...i would enclose myself in complete darkness until the panic would start to set in...then i would hold until i felt like screaming...i wrote the times down and then increased my exposure to it more and more...now i prefer a dark room...I have no problems with tight dark spaces...this was a technique taken from i believe i got it from some old psychology book...sorry cant remember what the title was i am far from my teens and many years of self abuse to make remembering more difficult...well i hope that i might of help...anyway i understand...

[Fanny57]

Hi Kimmy, I see that I started a subject we all deal with, I have gotten better with my shopping in stores, and I always make sure it's not in my local area. My problem lays with things like shoes and a wig. Like others have said we've just got to do it. I wish I could pass but I'd never make it, maybe a few years ago, your picture is quite nice and the glasses look fine, wish I looked as good.......Luv......Fanny......

[Sabryana]

Well, yesterday I took the next step in my progress when I went to the store and bought leg wax and a pair of pantyhose. Something else that I learned and should be helpful to a lot of you here as well. A lot of the Wal-Marts now have a self checkout line. You can go in, buy everything you want and just go check yourself out without ever speaking to anyone. Granted Wal-Mart doesnt have all the selection we all may want but they do have a wide variety of items.

Today I used the wax (well sugary gunk really) and here is what I have learned from my first experience with the stuff. I have a really high threshold for pain so it didnt really hurt to me much. The problem I had however is that my legs are very hairy and I did the waxing with the very hairy legs. Let me just say that its not as easy as you may see on infomercials. The package came with 20 6"x2" strips and that was only enough to do half of my legs. Pulled so much hair off with the first time that couldnt really reuse much and when I did try to it hurt far more than actually removing the hair. My suggestion is to shave first then let the hair grow back to about 1/4" which is stated in instructions.

Well, thats my little story and now I have a place I can shop for little odds and ends without the fear of dealing with any sales people.

[Fanny57]

Well girls I finally did it, will I was out shopping today I said what the heck and stopped in at Payless shoes. I headed down one of the last isles which also happened to have mens shoes, but the larger sizes of womens. From what I've known I had to wear a 10 or 11w. While I was looking the sales girl kept glancing down the isle to see what I was doing. They had a limited choice for what I was looking and I real wanted basic black heal maybe with an ankle strap. Well I really couldn't find what I wanted, but I was determined to buy a pair. I finally picked up a cute pair of sliver (Fioni) slides with two cross straps and one vertical all cover with little gold and silver flowers. Well I want you to know it's was the greatest thrill and the sales girls was so nice when I went to pay and well you must know I dressed now and I simply love these shoes. I wish I could figure out how to send an attachment with this, I'll try.....Luv........Fanny......

P.S. can't figure out how to attach pix

[Jenny]

I absolutely love shopping in stores. I have done it several times now. There is nothing like being able to try on things before you buy them.

This is how I did it. The first time I did it I called ahead and told the clerk (who turned out to be the owner) I was a guy but that I wanted to shop in her store and asked if that would be all right. She told me it would be fine as long as I wasn't a jerk about it. I assured her I was a nice guy and asked when I could come in. She recommended either right after they opened or right before they closed. I went in right before they closed. I introduced myself to the owner. She told me she had several other men who shopped in her store (her store catered to tall women). She said I should feel free to try anything on. I showed up wearing panties under my jeans and a bra under my tee-shirt and carrying my breast forms in an overnight kit. I went into one of the dressing rooms and put in my breast forms. And then I came back out and started looking through the racks. I was the only customer in the store. I picked out skirts and tops and jeans. I even tried on a prom-style dress. At first the owner just worked behind the counter and didn't bother me but after a while she came over and started helping me with styles and colors and sizes. It was heaven!!!!. Like being in the biggest closet in the world. I ended up buying several different items, all of which fit me. It was so freeing walking around the store with my breast forms in my bra and not even feeling self-concious at all.

Since then, I have done this with several other stores. I have gone into several Tall Girl shops, which also cater to tall women. Every single one of them has been very accepting and helpful. Two stores in Denver -- a Tall Girl shop and a Tall Etc.(? I think) shop -- have been especially accepting. I have also gone into several Victoria Secret stores and found them very helpful. One clerk told me they were trained to be non-judgmental about their customers. I have even been measured for a bra and tried on several bras in VS stores.

Finally, perhaps my most open experiences have been buying breast forms in two different mastectomy supply stores. Again I called ahead and set an appointment. In both stores the clerks were very helpful. In one store I bought a set of self-adhesive forms and the clerk even helped me shave my chest hair so the adhesive would hold better. Now that's customer service!!!

So I would say to all of you who are thinking of going shopping, just do it the way I did and you will be surprised at how accepting most stores are. (If you call up and get a negative response, just don't go to that store.) I'm sure you will love it as much as I do.

Jenny (the shopping fool cd'er)