about my need to be a girl, and it did not go well. My dad started telling me they will not help financially even a penny, and my mom started crying and called me a freak...what am I supposed to do now?
Well, I did it, I told my parents...
about my need to be a girl, and it did not go well. My dad started telling me they will not help financially even a penny, and my mom started crying and called me a freak...what am I supposed to do now?
Poor girl
Just a question. How old are you? Do you still live with your parents?
yeah i still live with them and i'm 18...their even gonna make me start paying them for little things like using the internet, and i cant even get a job right now because i've applied everywhere in town and in the surrounding towns and no one is interested in me. and if i dont pay them, they may decide to kick me out.
I cannot imagine such a situation to be in
I am only a bit older then you(age 20) so wisdom is not yet on myside, but is there another place you could stay like a sympathic family member or friend? Is there no reasoning with your parents?
i dont have any family in this state that would take me in and my friend's parents already said that if i ever got kicked out, i've been having issues with my parents for a while and they know it, that i couldnt stay with them...i just dont know what to do. i dont even feel like dressing and all i want is to smoke till i cant see straight
Well, that may be your problem. You already have a not so great "track record" with your parents. No offense but I believe the best thing for you to do at this stage should be to quit the drugs and try to gain as much foothold as possible in life. It's sad, but your parents made it clear that they wouldn't support you in this at all. The only person you can count on is yourself...Originally Posted by Volca
Transition requires, strength, courage, and also support. In my opinion, you're simply not in a position where you can do it at this stage, because things are too unstable for you... Realistically, you will need to have moved out, and have a reasonably well-paying job before you can seriously consider it... So I would say, try to put aside the torment, put away everything that could bring you into trouble (especially drugs), and focus on building a solid situation... So that you can live relatively "free", and be able to seriously consider transition if that's what you want to do.
At this point, if you attempt to explore your feminity, you're going to get rejected even more, and you'll have nowhere to go for help, which is simply not a pleasing idea... You have to think about all this strategically (as in military strategy: plan ahead, and then farther, try to anticipate every possibility).
Oh Nyx, what good advice!
Steph
Hola
Hi there,you see,I want also to tell my parents my little secret,that I dress up and everything,but I dont want them to freak out for my decisions.
So,I decided to keep it a secret.I know that if I tell my parents,they will not understand it at first,they will explode in tears,and finally anger because in my country the sex gender is more defined.Man is always to be a man,and shall not use the other sex s clothing....I must say that I crossdress at anime conventions,and I really have a blast doing it.My parents doesnt know and I decided that they dont need to know,croosdeessing is as personal as the toothbrush.
Why should they know something that is incredible personal?You should dress like you want,dont tell people that you know wont understand.
Keep in mind that here at Crossdressers.com you have a real family that offers you love and understanding.
Hugs and Kisses Sakura
I am going to be the daughter that my mother never had!!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Dear Volca, My heart goes out to you. You may yet find a path where you can be true to yourself without being at war with the world in which you live.
Love and hugs,
Wendy-Anne
Why waste your life searching for an answer?
Look for the right questions instead!
this may seem kinda dark...but these are my thoughts now...
Due to the recent events, I have a new philosophy about myself. I no longer consider myself male, female, or even human. I am me, myself, in a class of my own. There are none other exactly like me in this world and there never will be. So, if I am not human, what could I be? A demon? An angel? A thing of nightmares, or a dream? Who knows. Some day I may find that answer, and until I do, we'll just say I'm the unknown, unlike any other.
Dear Volca,
Sorry to say this, but welcome to the human race.
There are those that will pose the question: "Do I know the difference between my feelings and reality?" Its an old chestnut. The nature of the world we live in is to put us into easy-to -define categories. It helps if we conform to the formula. You are different. Special. You cannot be defined by a simple trite definition. So you don't fit? who says you have to?
Ok, your parents. Thats where this thread started. But your dependence is not forever. Maybe there needs to be a separation of the emotional from the practical and environmental. In short, you need to do what you have to do to put a roof over your head and survive. In your head and your heart, you need to be true to the little vulnerable girl within, who needs the love and nurturing to grow and blossom into the woman of your waking dreams.
Hey, life is short. We only get one chance.
love,
Wendy
Why waste your life searching for an answer?
Look for the right questions instead!
***********
There seems to be a lot of confusion here and my advice is for you to get educated about all of this. As Nyx said, it appears as though you are on the wrong path right now so I would suggest you start by changing shoes. At 18 you are far from finished your education so that should be your first priority. That is what will support you, not your parents nor anyone else. In the end it is all about you and the choices you make for yourself. Make the wrong ones and you will suffer at worst or stagnate at best; make the right ones and you will go ahead on your own for your own benefit and life.
I am sorry your parents took it so badly, and their position is obvious so now it is up to you to provide for you. How you approach that is going to set your path for the rest of your life unless you change directions and take ownership for your own life. When you have done that you will have a lot more options open to you.
Sorry if I seem harsh on this but I think it needs to be said.
Kimberley.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
www.transgenderlondon.com
Venus and Mars are not aligned; Good thing.
Where are all the rumballs?
I may not soar with eagles, but then weasels dont get sucked into jet engines...
I'm so sorry that it went the way it did. But you need to consider that how they feel today, does not necessarily show how they will feel next week or next year.
I remember when i was 17 I had a secret too, and when i told my parents I was thrown out of the house right then and there. Didn't even let me pack. But it didn't take long before they came around. And now that is all water under the bridge.
The best thing that you can do right now is provide them with educational materials about transexualism and stay your course. Show them you are the same person, and at the same time start thinking about someplace else to stay even temporarily. Some space and some education may really help both sides.
Brenda
And ironically, here we are now 30 years later and we're afraid to tell them I'm trans! I wonder if you'll get the boot again???
with love,
Victoria
[tori-e] Victoria Escher
Victoria Escher TG Website
Well, girls, me and my parents had a talk tonight and things are getting better. We're at an understanding now. Although, rules are still set. If I dress in the day and they see it, I will still be thrown out on the spot. But they will try to learn to cope with it and once I do move out, and they come over and I am in a dress, they will be indifferent.
Thanks for your advice everyone, it wasn't to harsh at all, I understand everything that was said. You dont need to get onto me about the suicide thing either. I'm past that now too. In fact, going to spend the next few days with my dad out of town while he's on a business thing just to get out for once.
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 09-20-2006 at 04:40 PM. Reason: Will PM.
Big
If it's any consolation you're not the first person on these forums to feel suicidal. Smoking yourself into oblivion when you're depressed just makes the depression last longer, and often makes the physical symptoms of depression and anxiety more intense. If you can't stop smoking pot, please try & have a break, or at least delay your first smoke of the day for as long as possible. And please don't smoke alone when you feel down!
At least you're not trying to drink yourself into oblivion; that stuff can kill you.
I don't know where you live, but here in Australia (& the rest of the civilized world) we have free mental health care for suicidal people. Also, some community-based organizations for people with gender issues may provide free or low-cost individual & family-oriented counciling.
I know things are tough for you now, but try to be positive. You have decades of (feminine) life to look forward to.
Robin
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Dear Volca,
Thanks for sharing.
I'm sorry the situation is so challenging.
I was so relieved by your later post: Some parents never make any progress at all on this, and yours did after only a couple of days. Good for them-it's a lot for them, and for you.
And Volca, telling them took courage-you are courageous.
I've spent a lot of time angy at my parents, and it hurts.
What are you studying in school? I mean, favorite subject?
Take care,
Princessmichelle
"Princess" was on a shirt given to me by a cd who barely knew me. I purged it, but kept the nickname to remind me of the kindess.
Hi girls, I'm back. Sorry I was away a while, but I spent the past week in a psychiatric ward for the depression and anger. They have me on antidepressants and antipsychotics, and I'm feeling much better. My parents still dont want to see me in clothes, but we ordered a book about coping with transexualism for them. Things might yet look up.
How did that make your parents feel?I spent the past week in a psychiatric ward for the depression and anger. They have me on antidepressants and antipsychotics
well, they feel that it was good for me to spend a few days there and that if the meds is what it takes to keep me from being depresssed and what not, its the best thing to do.
Hi Volca.
I am so happy to hear that things are looking some what better for you. I do understand what you are going through. I am 25 and my parents did not take it very well either. To this day, my farther will not talk to me. My mother is comming around slowly, at least she will come vist me and spend time with me as Susan. I have my own appt. My sister is my rock, she has been so wonderful and accepting.
I knows its hard sweetie, but things will get better in time.
Hugs - Susan
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