Have Sort Of Come Out To My Parents

[Siobhan Marie]

[SIZE="3"]Before you all tear me to pieces and ask me what the hell I'm going about, please just bear with me as I'm going to tell it pretty much as it unfolded yesterday afternoon as its the only way I can tell it. I'd like to point out that I don't live with my parents. I own my own flat about 4 miles away from them.

I was talking to my mum yesterday as it was the first time that I'd seen her for a few days (Dad had gone out to do something) and she asked me how work had been (I work in security) and I was telling her about the location I'd been working at (I used to work there full time and don't now) and said that they had 3 members of staff and were going to lose 2 more. She asked me who they are and I told her, one of them being my TS colleague, Lisa (whom I refered to by her old name, Percy) and nothing more was said, we carried on watching television. Then Mum looked up and said to me "Percy, isn't that the one who is going through a sex change?" I replied "yes Mum, it is", she then said to me "you don't want to do that do you?" I tried to bluff it (which I'm bad at) and replied "I'm not sure" and she said "what do you mean, you're not sure? You're not dropping a bombshell on me are you?" I said "no Mum Like I said I'm not sure". She replied "if you ever tell me that, I won't want to know you", I said "do you mean that?", she said "yes, it would kill me". All I said after that was "at least I know where you stand" and nothing more was said.
Dad came back in from doing what he had to do (he'd been to the chippy to get some tea, as he and I were going to an auction that evening). Poor Dad, you could've cut the tension between Mum and I with a knife, it was horrible. Before Dad and I went out, I had to go to the toilet, which gave Mum and Dad the chance to talk behind my back. When Dad and I left for the auction, he asked me what had happened between Mum and I and I told him. He asked if I needed to do what Lisa is doing and I said yes and I told him everything, he then asked if I wanted to have the final operation and I said yes. I also said that I couldn't live a lie anymore. Dad said while he couldn't give his blessing to what I want to do, he would never disown me while Mum is another story, she is very old fashioned in her outlook, and she would disown me. He also asked me if I'm on on hormones, I said no I'm not. He also asked me if I was out at work. I said yes I was, I was out at the location I used to work at. I also told him that I would not be staying in security as everyone knows me as Bruce and this would just confuse them. I want to be settled in another job for 6-12 months before I go full time. To give credit to Dad, he seemed to take it quite well. He also me to hold off telling Mum and starting my transition for 2 years as she is really ill and may not be here in two years time. This I agreed to but said if she's still here, she'll have to be told and I'll have to face the consequences of that. Needless to say I didn't sleep very well, although I do feel better that at least Dad knows.

Anna Marie x[/SIZE]

[Sharon]

Why would we tear you to pieces? If anything, I think it's fantastic that you have told your parents, even though, in your mother's case, it could have resulted in a better reaction.

You made a tremendous step here, Anna Marie -- telling your parents something of this magnitude is never easy. I think you did wonderfully. Meanwhile, don't give up on your mother. Maybe she'll come around a bit when she has more time to digest the news you laid on her.

BTW -- your dad sounds like a wonderful father.

[Calliope]

That was one gruelling experience! You're certainly brave to communicate that - what a grinder, your mom's blackmailing response and then, even when your pop sounded rational abut it, telling you your mom might have only a couple of years to go. So you've got it out in the open but it looks like your mother is going to try to play some serious control cards. My head is sure spinning. As I see it, you've made the hardest move and probably the next few will be easier - which still seems like a tough ride all around. Hopefully time will temper your mom but, truthfully, if she's ill she could take a 'no-prisoner' approach. You did the right thing for sure but - well, my heart goes out to you, what words could properly suffice? I am so sorry you had such an uphill with the folks. In the end, though, you'll probably look back and know it was worth it, being honest with them.

[livy_m_b]

You did remarkably well! Give yourself a break, you were honest, kind, respectful of their feelings and true to yourself. That's as good a character as I can imagine a parent being proud of!

[CaptLex]

I'm proud of you, Anna Marie. I know how hard that was, and I think you handled it as well as possible. Your mom may come around (some do), but even if she doesn't, you're being true to yourself and that's the important thing. Your dad sounds like a really cool guy, by the way. I know you're probably going through a range of feelings, and I hope one of them is relief. You deserve a pat on the back - and a hug.

[GypsyKaren]

Good for you Anna, I'm also very proud of you. I know how hard coming out is, and I think you handled it wonderfully.

Quite the coincidence, today I sent a letter to my stepmother explaining that I am TS, along with a picture of how I look now. She's one of the few people left that doesn't know about me, I've waited till now to do it because she lives on the other end of the country, and we haven't seen each other in years. I think it will work out okay, and I hope to go visit her as myself soon.

Karen

[great gg]

[SIZE="3"]Before you all tear me to pieces and ask me what the hell I'm going about, please just bear with me as I'm going to tell it pretty much as it unfolded yesterday afternoon as its the only way I can tell it. I'd like to point out that I don't live with my parents. I own my own flat about 4 miles away from them.

I was talking to my mum yesterday as it was the first time that I'd seen her for a few days (Dad had gone out to do something) and she asked me how work had been (I work in security) and I was telling her about the location I'd been working at (I used to work there full time and don't now) and said that they had 3 members of staff and were going to lose 2 more. She asked me who they are and I told her, one of them being my TS colleague, Lisa (whom I refered to by her old name, Percy) and nothing more was said, we carried on watching television. Then Mum looked up and said to me "Percy, isn't that the one who is going thorugh a sex change?" I replied "yes Mum, it is", she then said to me "you don't want to do that do you?" I tried to bluff it (which I'm bad at) and replied "I'm not sure" and she said "what do you mean, you're not sure? You're no dropping a bombshell on me are you?" I said "no Mum Like I said I'm not sure". She replied "if you ever tell me that, I won't want to know you", I said "do you mean that?", she said "yes, it would kill me". All I said after that was "at least I know where you stand" and nothing more was said.
Dad came back in from doing what he had to do (he'd been to the chippy to get some tea, as he and I were going to an auction that evening). Poor Dad, you could've cut the tension between Mum and I with a knife, it was horrible. Before Dad and I, I had to go to the toilet, which gave Mum and Dad the chance to talk behind my back. When Dad and I left for the auction, he asked me what had happened between Mum and I and I told him. He asked if I needed to do what Lisa is doing and I said yes and I told him everything, he then asked if I wanted to have the final operation and I said yes. I also said that I couldn't live a lie anymore. Dad said while he couldn't give his blessing to what I want to do, he would never disown me while Mum is another story, she is very old fashioned in her outlook, and she would disown me. He also asked me if I'm on on hormones, I said no I'm not. He also asked me if I was out at work. I said yes I was, I was out at the location I used to work at. I also told him that I would not be staying in security as everyone knows me as Bruce and this would just confuse them. I want to be settled in another job for 6-12 months before I go full time. To give credit to Dad, he seemed to take it quite well. He also me to hold off telling Mum for 2 years as she is really ill and may not be here in two years time. This I agreed to but said if she's still here, she'll have to be told and I'll have to face the consequences of that. Needless to say I didn't sleep very well, although I do feel better that at least Dad knows.

Anna Marie x[/SIZE]

sorry, but I can't read the color font and I don't know how to chnge it. sorry.

[Siobhan Marie]

Why would we tear you to pieces? If anything, I think it's fantastic that you have told your parents, even though, in your mother's case, it could have resulted in a better reaction.

You made a tremendous step here, Anna Marie -- telling your parents something of this magnitude is never easy. I think you did wonderfully. Meanwhile, don't give up on your mother. Maybe she'll come around a bit when she has more time to digest the news you laid on her.

BTW -- your dad sounds like a wonderful father.

[SIZE="3"]Sharon, I haven't exactly told my mum, what I did was to test the water to see what would happen if I did tell her and now I know. The only person who knows properly is my Dad. I haven't told Mum properly yet is because of Dad. I will tell her even though I know what will happen when I do. The thing with Mum is that she won't come round, not now, not ever. She is positively Victorian in her outlook and that won't change. Going on what Dad said to me when we were out, she knows, he's sure she does. What did really surprise me was Dad, I really thought he'd shut down and not say anything but he was great about it, and its so nice to know that even if Mum won't have anything do with me after I tell her, which is why Dad has asked to hold off on telling her or doing anything for 2 years because she is very ill, and she may not be here in 2 years time. I have said that if she is still here in 2 years time then I will have to tell her and deal with her reaction then.

Anna Marie x[/SIZE]