Hello Ladies...Well as a new crossdresser I question myself many times if I am doing the right thing. My biggest fear is of being caught. I love the feel of being dressed and I have tried to stop many times but keep going back to dressing. Is this normal...I mean do you start and stop many times before you say the heck with it and except dressing as a way of life? Please let me know to handle this...Have you started and stopped, thinking that it was wrong. Thanks Jessica
Jessica - We (generally speaking (writing?)) "start and stop many times before [we] say the heck with it and except dressing as a way of life."
Some of us quit (temporarily or permanently), some dress part-time, and some dress full-time.
When some quit, they "purge" (get rid of their clothes), while others store them (or "purge" part and store part).
Some of us have "started and stopped, thinking that it was wrong."
The fact that you ask these questions, shows (to me) that you have come to a place where you belong.
Welcome.
I think most answers will be affirmative. Starting and stopping seems to go with the turf certainly early in life it seems. I think you'll also find that some, maybe most, don't embrace it as a lifestyle and simply start and stop more frequently. Some are very comfortable and good at compartmentalizing the two modes. It's ultimately up to you to decide, because the answers will vary. What do you feel most comfortable with, compartmentalizing, merging or transforming? It's not been an easy question for me to personally answer so I experimented a lot to help decide.
Oh, there is something else to consider when answering that question - commitments to loved ones that were based on their prior perception of your gender identity.
-b
I have not stopped because I thought it was wrong. I understand what you are talking about because I have had many second thoughts about crossdressing. Mostly, I am embarrassed about doing it because I do not understand my affection for women's clothing. I have stopped out of embarrassment from thinking about what I do. The embarrassment has diminished to a great extent largely because I am more reconciled with the fact that I will never change. What is, is. The crossdressing continues when the opportunity arises.
Yes ,YES ,YES
Many times have i stopped ger rid of all my things only to start again sometime months or years later not any more if i do stop again it all goes in the attic.
Karren Hutton your an Inspiration
Jessica
I have been there many times (the following is what i did) DO NOT follow my example AS THIS WAS RIGHT FOR ME NOT EVERYONE WILL AGREE WITH ME ....... RIGHT HERE GOES ......... i was sent to see a shrink by my mother a number of yrs ago ( more than i like to remember ) when she found her clothes under my bed, ( yes i could have found a better place to hide them ) but she found them and made an appointment to see the shrink .... i dont know if this did any good i still dressed but hid them better then as time went by i was dressing then stopping for a yr or so then starting again ... it wasnt untill i got married that i decided that i loved to dress ... and started to do it again ... just underwear and stockings , nothing that could be noticed under male clothes, then the wife found out ,,,,, she hit the roof and told me to stop or she would leave me .... to cut a long story short ... we divorced .... i vowed from that day if i got with anyone else that i would tell them from the start .... and this i have done the partner that i have now and have been with for the past 2 yrs knows all about Mallisa, she has encouraged me to go even further as i now have breast forms wigs i wear makeup every time that i dress ...... the only thing that i havnt done while dressed is go to any meetings to meet others like me ...... at the end of the day what i am trying to say is you will do what ever you want to do yes you may stop then start again sit down and have a good think about it .... we girls on here will try to help you the best that we can ..... but at the end of the day it is up to you
(hope this has been of some help to you .....( I DOUBT IT ) BUT I DID TRY
hugz mallisa
Wow when I consider all the sexy stuff I have thrown away, because of the the many guilt trips, it makes me want to cry. As far as I am concerned I am totally comfortable with who I am today, but it was not always the case. I can tell you that I love the Rita in me and I thank God that I am at peace with all of me today. It has taken a long time though and it was not a very easy road. It took a great deal of soul searching.
Hugs
Lovely Rita
The journey is about learning how to love and to do it with all our heart.
The Revolution moves forward!!!!!
aspiring to be "part of the cure and not the disease."
to quote Cold Play.
Becoming the person I was created to be
not the person you expect me to be
"Girls Just Want to Have FUN!"
You don't need an excuse to Love just an opportunity!
Jessica,
God yes... I have throw away hundreds of dollars worth of clothes. Last time included the best breast form ever. But, that's the way we, I develop.
I'm now convinced that although I may be a bit twisted, I am not broken and that being a CD is normal for me. And lifew is just too short to worry about how others are judging me.
XXX
Megan
Loving the Lace!
Yes, a couple of times... Then I decided I'd rather be exotic and different than dull and drone like.
Der Transsexuellaußenseiter
The lovers have flown...
[SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]
Yes, not sure if normal is the word i would use, but starting and stoping and deciding to get into things more deeply.Originally Posted by Jessicainme
It depends on your situation, everyone will have a different way of dealing with it.
Kim
[QUOTE=Kimkandy;630228]Yes, not sure if normal is the word i would use[QUOTE]
Normal is the word I would use. What we do falls within the range of normal human behavior. We may not be the 'average person'but there are a lot of us. AStatistically significant amount.
But yes, for many of us, this is a roller coaster ride. I am trying so hard to accept this and not run from myself again. I want to quit quitting! This time around, I am staying true to myselves Its not just something I do , Its a part of me.
Simple answer yes. Beth
OK just said I wouldn't use normal, I'd prefer exceptional.
Kim
I think purging is a way of life for a lot of us. I have serveral times. Looking on the bright side, today I started shopping for all new outfits.
Billie
YES, I have wasted alot of money and grief on the issue. Purging, shopping, and feeling guilty. At some point I came to the realization that I am a straight man who likes to put on a dress now and again.
Dont know why, Dont care why, if it is not hurting anyone or breaking a law, then it is OK with me
Take care and dont feel guilty for being you.
Kelly
I would just like to say thank you for all the support and advice that has been given to me. I will still continue to dress, but I will not tell my wife as of yet. I do love the feel of looking nice and why should all the GG's have all the fun. Jessica
We're all brought up in a society where it is not the generally accepted nrom for males to present themselves in a feminine form. Even we have the inner need to do so, we are still fighting against years of conditioning, insidius (sp?) conditioning, for many, many sources. It's not wonder, therefore, that we end up doubting ourselves at times, and occasionally purging.
Life comes in all colors ... so please be kind to all you meet.
Were all going to say the same thing!! Started and stopped. Tried to quit! Guilt. Purge.
So crossdressing is not for the faint of heart!! And your already one!! So get used to it!! Accept the inevatible and move on!! "Resistance is futile". Hehe. I Love STNG!! Crossdressing is kind of like the Borg!!only prettier!!
So you might as well just face the face that you are what you are and get on with your life...lives!!
Love Karren
Jessica a girl of your young age that has been dealing with this funny little thingy we do... well at some point in time you just know .... you know like when you see those to die for shoes and you have to have them... i too at one time struggled with the same issues.. it sames that the easy thing to do is stop and walk away from it .. no more troubles no more worrying about getting found out .... just way too easy to do ... but something brings you back and you just know all is OK ... and it just feels right then all them issues side step and deep down inside you just know this is right and for us it's way normil.......
jessica,
All Cds have gone through these cycles or periods. The amount of clothing that we throw away is staggering! I have dressed since being a kid. If I had kept everything I had owned since beeing a teenager, there would not be room for anything else in the house!
One thing I wish I had done was to tell my Mom when I was young. My wife has sort of known from the beginning -wearing things while dating. She knew the full extent within months of marraige. Think about telling her as she will feel a significant lack of trust with you if she finds out before you tell her. You can use a lot of information from this site to help. Living a secret is difficult, but it's up to you.
Janice Ailene:
If you get the urge to purge (hey that rhymes!) - DON"T do it - just box it up and put it AWAY - think of the $$ involved......
Now me, I like the closet, but there are times things get so busy and so much is going on that everything stays in the closet, quite literally!
Scottie
You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey... Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally.
Go your own way, quietly, undramatically, and venture toward trueness at last.
-- Vernon Howard
You are doing simply what pleases you. I fail to find any fault with that. As time goes on, you will find for yourself just how far you wish to take the dressing.
Jessica,Lots of us have started and stopped over and over again.The urge to dress comes back eventually.But it's not "wrong" there's lots of crossdressers out there and I just think that nature creates this and it can't be "cured". So enjoy your dressing at your leisure and cd'ing doesn't nescesarily mean that you are also gay or transexual.Granted,if you are,fine,those aren't illnesses either.As far as getting caught is concerned,there are usually people in most of us cd'rs' lives that are not TG freindly and would really scream if they found out.But maybe there are people around us who would be cool about it.It's kind of a dilemna sometimes.You can't always come out to family and freinds.But things get better over time and you'll find other cd'rs and new freinds that will probably accept it.Samantha
I ,too have to agree with the general line of thought here. I have been involved in this since I was a kid. Once you're one of us you are always going to be one of us. There are variables but it's all pretty similar. My advice, for what it's worth, is to just go with it and learn to enjoy it. It really is a gift! Peace, Girdlewoman
Hey Jessica!
To stop the urge to dress would be like stopping the world from spinning.!! there are few things I have encountered in life that have (except the love of my children) had such a grip on me. The more I have resisted the tighter the hold it has taken. I have refused it, rejected it, purged it and have tried to will it away but there it is. I cannot reject that half of who I am or I cease to be totally me!!!! Without it I am destined to live half a life.
Live Free Jennifer
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