I'm just curious what some of you apartment dwellers go through to get out while dressed. I live in a house, and it's no big deal for me. I just get dressed and walk across the drive to my garage, get in the car, and drive off. But those of you who live in apartment buildings have the entire world looking. What do you do to get out while en femme?
Goodness, I can't believe I'm the only one to post a reply!!
I live in a rather large complex, but they are divided into 8-plexes with outside entrances onto a common breezway/stairway. I'm on the second of 2 floors. At first I was very nervous, and only ventured out late at night and only after spending many minutes peering through the little peephole to see if all was clear. I'd gingerly step outside and lock the door (but not the deadbolt) then down a very noisy wood steps (especially in heels), my heart pounding wildly. A quick trip around the plex, then back ... whew!!
That was about a year ago. Now, I just go outside. If I know there are a lot of people on the landing, I might wait for them to clear out, but I'm not going to wait forever. I've learned that the world is not going to collapse if they see, everyone who has thinks I'm a girlfriend (he's been asked), and very seldom has that happened. I've had girls come to the apartment fully dressed (a few rather outlandishly) with no problems what-so-ever.
I've had several wolf whistles and blatant stares when I've gone for the mail ... I choose to believe it's because I look good (and feminine).
Sherry
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't ... you're right
Henry Ford
First you've got to get up the courage to go out.
[size=2]~Kristi~[/size]
I have concidered this but never done it cause I have always lived somewhere that someone is watching. At night is a good start as I actually have gone to my car in the past 'dressed' to go for drives. I would rather wait to change in the car. Otherwise if it were during the day, I suppose the general thing I would do is put my head down and keep movingOk not the best plan but hey..LOL
*hugs*
Tristen
I only worry about one of my neighbors finding out. He's a nice guy but rather conservative. He has been known to pop out of his appartment to say "hi"
Other than that, I suppose what has been said describes the routine to a "t" Look out peephole and run.. lol!
Megan
--,--`--@
i live in a house the yard is big enough were you can walk out the back deck to the pool buck nacked and not be seen...............park the car around back in the day time drive away the nabors don't see anything..............
I live in a house now, but when I lived in an apartment I used to go out dressed all the time. Each apartment had doors that led outside though instead of to a hallway.
I used to love it. All of our mail was near the main offices so I used to dress in some nice casual stuff to go get that. Other times I would just walk around the lakes we had. One time, late at night on a week night (like 2 in the morning) I got dressed in nice tiny black bikini and actually when to the hot tub and sat in it for a little while. That was such a rush. When I got out, I took the long way back to my apartment and walked halfway through the entire place wearing nothing but that bikini. I purposely didn't bring anything else so I had no choice but to wear only that. One teenage girl walked by my very close in the opposite direction and never even looked twice at me. I was much younger then and would never have the courage to do that now. I'm suprised I could stay tucked for that long.
Charlotte
I must relate a story that has been posted elswhere on the site.
While going out on a shopping trip with Samantha (a crossdressers.com member) I was all dolled up and we stepped out the door. Just as I closed it I realized I'd left my purse inside ... along with all my money, I.D., and, of course, the house key!!
Although I'd been going out in public quite a bit by then, I had a true panic attack. It was mid day on a Saturday, but few people were about. After several minutes of trying to open the door with credit cards, etc. the bitter truth had to be faced: a trip to the office to retrieve an extra key, or get someone there to open the door.
I happened to be wearing girl jeans that could pass as boys, and a sweater, again girl but could be boy. I quickly wiped my face to try and get rid of the makeup, took off my shoes and wig, and went to the office.
The office girl was working with some people, but I stuck my head in the door and asked for a key. She didn't flinch, and gave me an extra key. I went back to the apartment (past a very busy pool area), got my purse, and we left.
It wasn't until I started replacing my makeup in the car did I realize 90% of it was still on, my hair was matted down, and I had toenail polish on (very red)! I hadn't fooled anybody, let alone the young office girl!
I now keep the extra key on a cute key ring in my purse at all times.
Sherry
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't ... you're right
Henry Ford
What will the neighbors think?
Here in NY, it is possible to live next door to someone for 30 years and not even know their names. My wife is the one who worries about Steffie going out."Suppose someone sees you?" she said. "You mean those people, next door? What is his name? Bob, John? I think his wife's name is Rita?" The cops were there the other night. They seem to be having their own problems and are not interested in Steffie. What do you think "they" would do? And so it goes. In all the years I have been going out, Never once did I have a problem, with the neighbors, or any one else for that matter. Main thing is to just do it; worry about it later......
Most people see what is and ask "WHY?".....
I see what never was and ask "WHY NOT?"...........
I live in a highrise where you are lucky to see your next door neighbor once a month, but I always peek out into the hall to make sure the coast is clear before going into the all, and I always walk down a flight on the fire stairs before getting on the elevator, ditto on my return. And I keep a spare key hidden in the fire stairs, in case my purse gets lost or stolen. Windy
Sherry, I had a very similar experience. I do all of my outings in a nearby city, and sometimes I get a motel room for an overnight stay. One Saturday afternoon I did so and spent a nice leisurely two or three hours getting ready for a night out. Showered and shaved, makeup, dressed, the whole works. I dressed for clubbing, with a new pair of black stockings and a really short skirt.
When I'm ready to leave the room, I usually take a small bag with another outfit in case I feel like changing, along with street clothes in case something comes up, but on this night I intentionally left my street clothes behind to add to the thrill of being out as a girl with no backup (but that's another story!). I also carry a purse with drivers license, credit card, cash, lipstick, comb, etc.
So, I'm dressed, I take my bag and purse with me, get in the car and head for the club. About a mile from the motel it hits me with a sudden wave of panic — I had forgotten to put my room key in my purse! Frantic, I pulled over to search my purse and my bag. No key. I sat there wondering what the hell I was going to do. No solution came to me, so I decided I needed a drink and time to think and I continued on to the club.
Sitting at the bar, nursing a drink and drumming my pretty fingernails on the bartop, I'm not coming up with anything. I saw the club owner come in and in a few minutes he walked over to say hi and ask how I was doing. On an impulse I blurted out my predicament to him. I knew he had lots of experience with the drag queens who do shows at his club and I thought he might have a solution, but he just laughed and said with a shrug, "I don't know what to tell you babe." Gee, thanks a lot.
To make a long story short, by 1:00 am I had figured out that I had no choice but to return to the motel and ask for another key — and maybe lie a little. I pulled up near the entrance, got the phone book I keep in the trunk and called the front desk with my cell phone. A young lady answered and I explained that I was a female impersonator who had just finished a show and discovered that I had locked myself out of my room. She puts me on hold to go get the manager, so I get to explain it all again to him. He hears me out and then suggests in his thick Indian accent that I come to the desk and get a key.
This was my first stay at this motel and the lobby was huge, but at this late hour there weren't any other guests around. The sound of my high heels on the tile floor seemed to echo forever in the big room. The manager was waiting for me at the counter, flanked by what appeared to be the entire night staff, obviously present to enjoy the show. Great.
Thankfully I had ID with me and in no time I held another key in my sweating hand. I thanked the manager in my little girl voice, smiled sweetly at his crew and headed for the door. I could feel all the eyes on me, so you know what I did? Yep, you guessed it. I walked out of that lobby with my very best runway model swish!
As I swung my long stockinged legs into the car, it hit that this was one of the most exciting "no choice" moments I'd ever had! And when I got back to my room, know what else I did? I grabbed my ice bucket, my purse — and my room key! — and ignoring the vending room at the corner of my wing, I walked clear across the large motel courtyard to get ice and a Coke from the machines near the rear lobby entrance. And prissed my naughty little self back to my room.
What I did next is another (and even naughtier) story ...
[QUOTE=sherribicd]
To make a long story short, by 1:00 am I had figured out that I had no choice but to return to the motel and ask for another key — and maybe lie a little. I pulled up near the entrance, got the phone book I keep in the trunk and called the front desk with my cell phone. A young lady answered and I explained that I was a female impersonator who had just finished a show and discovered that I had locked myself out of my room. She puts me on hold to go get the manager, so I get to explain it all again to him. He hears me out and then suggests in his thick Indian accent that I come to the desk and get a key.
Just think what would have happened if you hadn't called; just walked in and asked for a second key. You would not have had such a great audience, would only have had to explain yourself once (with proper ID).
Of course, that wouldn't have been nearly as fun.
I've written many times, and firmly believe, that the worst fears are in our imagination. I've been out in public many times in the past year or so, and I've never been physically accosted, or ridiculed. Of course, that's possible, and I'm sure there are girls who have had that happen, but it is rare.
The only real problem I had, and it wasn't, really, was while walking in the parking lot to go into a second-hand clothing store, a small group of teenage boys started yelling and whooping it up. I was with Samantha, and we just continued on and ignored them. As it turned out, they made much more of an ass out of themselves than any embarrassment to us.
Keep exploring the limits, push the envelope a bit more each time. It's exciting, fun, and you'll soon learn most people really don't give a damn.
Sherry
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't ... you're right
Henry Ford
Sherry, my calling ahead was not premeditated to arouse interest, prurient or otherwise, I assure you. That never occurred to me. Perhaps it wasn't necessary, but I was just trying to prepare them and make sure I wasn't going to be met with suspicion or belligerence. I was even worried they might throw me out of my room.
Which brings me to your second point: I think you're absolutely right about our own paranoia — as long as we exercise a little common sense. For example, I live in cowboy country, and I'm pretty sure that if I sashayed into a country and western bar, I'd have to fight my way out, and right quick, too. Ditto a biker bar. And even a leather bar, if we had any around here. What's more, there are any number of retail establishments here in the Bible belt who would ask me to leave. In fact, there is an adult video store here that won't let me in en femme. On the other hand, I had breakfast alone late one night at a local Denney's without incident. My waitress was quite nice, in fact. A CD friend I had at the time was horrified that I would try something like that, and while I dismissed her alarm, in retrospect I probably won't do it again solo, but if I was with friends I'd do it in a heartbeat.
A great deal of my reticence has to do with not wanting to be found out by the wrong people. Other than that, I'm getting pretty brave, especially as I've gotten better at achieving an attractive, though not persuasive, appearance. (I have no illusions about passing.) Were I to find myself in a big city away from home (something I hope to do before long), I'm game for just about anything, maybe even a trip to the mall or restaurant or something. If I'm rejected, it will make me uncomfortable, but I wouldn't take it personally, nor would it dissuade me from other adventures — adventures tempered by common sense, of course.
As for being accosted, I've heard that the greatest potential for belligerence exists with young males, especially inebriated young males, but we can't overlook the random hater. Crossdressers are injured or killed for no other reason than that they are crossdressers. That cold hard fact of life should not prevent us from going out, but it should prompt us to exercise some judgement andd keep our wits about us.
Great thread and great replies girls. I have a tale to tell too on a similar vein. I lived in Glasgow and went walk about on a regular basis. My normal route was blocked by a group of you girls 15-17 year olds. Worse than you boys for spotting me!!!! As said by others I always had my wits about me but this night I let my guard down so I took a detour to pass the crowd; but on this evening out of the blie a guy came from nowhere and started to chat. After a while I realised he had no idea of what/who i was. We talked and walked for 10 minutes; It was and still is one of my better days as Jayne. Bliss.
As other girls have said people have there own problems - dont care - are not really looking - dont suspect etc etc. Relax and go for it. It's the best
x
x
Jayne
ps
Out again in the morning; lucky girl
England does have Roses
Lost my hotel door key, too!
I lost my hotel door key, too! And I wasn't wearing a blonde wig!
I had just had a makeover with "Countessa's Closet" near Studio City, CA, and was returning to my room, dressed in a new summer dress, and realized I didn't have my room key! It was late and dark, and I figured I'd have to show my id, so I got that ready and was ready for any humiliation that might occur...
But the guy was REALLY nice, called me "Sweetie" and never asked me for ID.
Don't know if I passed, or if he suspected something else...But I was pleasantly surprised.
Ava Mouse - An artist experimenting with the medium of femininity...
"Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery."
Ava, it's a nervous feeling, isn't it? You feel so vulnerable ... in hindsight, it makes me tingle!
.Which brings me to your second point: I think you're absolutely right about our own paranoia — as long as we exercise a little common sense. For example, I live in cowboy country, and I'm pretty sure that if I sashayed into a country and western bar, I'd have to fight my way out, and right quick, too. Ditto a biker bar. And even a leather bar, if we had any around here. What's more, there are any number of retail establishments here in the Bible belt who would ask me to leave. In fact, there is an adult video store here that won't let me in en femme. On the other hand, I had breakfast alone late one night at a local Denney's without incident. My waitress was quite nice, in fact. A CD friend I had at the time was horrified that I would try something like that, and while I dismissed her alarm, in retrospect I probably won't do it again solo, but if I was with friends I'd do it in a heartbeat
I agree, there are places to watch out for. I am blessed with living in a city that is very tolerant. We have a popular female impersonation club that is very well known and respected, and TGs walking in that area is very common.
I appreciate you understood my point: if I may be excused for misquoting: "We have only to fear fear itself"
It is so sad to read of so many girls that deny themselves the experience of going out in public, but I certainly understand the fear; after all, it only took me how many years to cross that line myself. So many wasted years!
You don't have to "pass" (very few of us ever really will), just be appropriately dressed, polite, conservative in actions and manner, and aware of your surroundings. But most of all don't take yourself so seriously! Relax, have fun!
Being "made" by friends and acquantances is a very real fear for many of us (myself included), but actually, I think the odds are pretty small, unless you live and go out in a very small town. Think about it: you are covered in makeup and a wig and wearing entirely different (really different!) clothing. Unless you walk up to them and start talking (the voice!! watch the voice!!) it is very unlikely they would recognize you at all!
As an example, I had known Samantha for some time, gone out with her several times, before I ever saw her not dressed. When she knocked on my door as a man, I absolutely did not recognize him, even though I was expecting him! Of course, as soon as he said "Hi, Sherry" the jig was up!
Sherry
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't ... you're right
Henry Ford
Sherry you are so right on with the points you make. I especially agree with your statement about passing, a subject I have written about in my blog. I think passing is largely a pipe dream for most CDs., a myth propagated by fantasies. But that doesn't mean we can't be attractive and make a good impression, cuz we can. I believe that the more tastefully we present ourselves, the higher acceptance levels will be, even when it's obvious we're not g girls.
One caveat about small towns and bigger cities: If you're like me and live in a small town near a big city, the city is obvisously the place to go en femme. But use some judgement about where you go, because other people from your town go there too. For instance, it is rare that I go to the mall in the city without running into someone I know from home, and I see hometown people in their cars in the city all the time. It's a sure bet that if you notice them, they notice you.
I also live in a block of flats and have been trapped in the lift twice over the past two years in drab thankfully, but the prospect of getting caught in a lift dressed makes the fire escape a must for any possible outings. Has anyone been trapped in the lift dressed, admitedly a remote possibility?
Windy! I love it. What a great plan you have. Hiding a key is very important. I couldn't imagine how horrible it would be to lose a key and then have to find the custodian or go to the office or whatever else.Originally Posted by windycissy
I have gone so far as to venture out onto my balcony in the condo building that I am living in. It was last summer, during the black out in Toronto, in the evening and then the next morning. I was wearing a sport bra and short shorts that was a matching set as well as two inch summer sandal heels. I did hear a few people outside on thier balconies and noticed that my upstairs neighbor right above me was out. I then calmly and quietly moved back indoors after about 2 minutes. I will say this much, it was envigorating as well as scary. I'll see what I can do this summer - braver and more bolder...
XOXO,
Racheal
to get out leave the sales flyers out were wendy can see ................a shopping we will go...................
but the prospect of getting caught in a lift dressed makes the fire escape a must for any possible outings.
Any time I ever saw anyone using fire escapes, apart from the danger of the poorly maintained things falling down with you on it, I would wonder what in the world is he/she doing? If you don't want to draw attention to yourself I would think the fire escape would be the last place you'd want to be.
Hugs, Christine
A subject with which I am familiar...
Sorry, don't know what happened there...
It is the most heart pounding part of going out, since you have to co-exist with your neighbors, and you can't make people understand. Once out there, don't care, till it's time to come home.
At night, it's easy, I just walk out to driveway. If they know it's me, oh well.
Durring day, I make sure All close by that I am familiar with are off to work, if it is a weekday. (I work some odd days and hours) On weekends, I pretty much have to stay inside.
Next time I move, entrance/exit points will definitely be on my mind when looking. On other hand, will probably move to a rural setting with lots of privacy. Have to drive almost everywhere, as it is, anyway.
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