CD stuff that puzzles me

[MarinaTwelve200]

I might seem like some sort of "know it all" to some folks here, but there are a lotta things, concerning CD that puzzle the hell out of me. I suppose those mysteries are what drive me to learn more and more.---Things i dont understand bug the crap outa me.

Here is a short list of my favorite CD "mysteries"

1. Why do a lotta GAY people seem to be into CDing? Transsexuals not withstanding, one would think that gay guys would be the LEAST likely persons to CD---dressing up like "yucky" women and girly stuff.---Perhaps its only an "illusion" that gays are especially prone to CDing, but that does not make any sense to me.

2. CDing like "Little girls".? Little girls are not sexually attractive (unless one is a pedophile) but MOST important they werar no makeup, have no boobs and dont wear high heels or other sexy clothing---none of the "good" CD stuff. I aint figguered this one out either--unless its a play on the "ultimate vulnerability or helplessness of little girls. I dont mean to be insulting here---I'm cool with everyones personal variations, it just that I dont understand some of them.

3. CDing without makeup? This is likely a less complex "mystery", but in my opinion, a guy somehow seems to be holding onto a part of his male identity is he does not also "cover" his face and change that into its female aspect too.

Im sure I can think of a few more things that puzzle me, but these will do for now.---- Do you have any personal CD mysyeries too? or Any comments that may be of help?

[Vicky_Scot]

To address your points.

1. Why do a lotta GAY people seem to be into CDing? This is not the case. The vast majority of men who cd are straight and married or in long term relationships.

2. CDing like "Little girls".? I have yet to meet a or talk with a cd who likes to dress as a little girl. I would find this quite disturbing if they did.

3. CDing without makeup? Woman do not always wear makeup.

[Kate Simmons]

It depends on what your motivation is for CDing. Some gay guys want to be more "attractive" to their boyfriends, so sometimes dress "pretty" like girls. This is only an means to an end though and in the end who is fooling who anyhow? Some CD's can only be with guys when they are en femme. That's one even I haven't figured out yet and I've been with guys.The "little girls " have something they call the little girl "ethic". That is, to be sweet, do no harm and to play games, etc. I know several "little girls" over 6 feet but they seem to play the role quite nicely. As far as guys going out cross dressed with no makeup, ya got me too. To go out in a dress, pantyhose and heels and just have a guy haircut and/or beard or mustache is all some need I guess. Far be it from me to judge anyone because as Ericka, I enjoy CDing as Eric myself. To each his own and really I don't think any of us are any weirder than a polar bear trying to look like a penguin. Ericka/Rich

[Scotty]

Why do we do it? That may be the biggest mystery!

Myself, I identify as a woman, although not 100% because my lifestyle and because 35 years of male programming have to be undone....

I see gay guys that act femme but do not DRESS it, and in fact the few that I do know are WONDERFUL at matching colors, decorating - maybe it goes hand in hand...

But if a guy likes his male side, is he/she actually PART TG but not willing to give up his male side?

I believe as the doctor said, that while genetic identity is at 8 weeks and sexual identity at 24 (? I could be off) - maybe it's not a black and white thing, maybe those chromosomes get mixed slightly.

Who knows, that may be a mystery!

[trannie T]

1. The vast majority of crossdressers are straight, a few gays dress as women but usually as drag queens, an exaggerated form of feminine dressing.

2. In my opinion the 'litlte girl' look is more of a fetish as are rubber and latex clothing. Those that choose to dress as little girls are a different group from most crossdressers.

3. Some of us are not adept at putting on makeup. Some of us are only attracted to clothing and not to makeup.

[CharleneCD]

I am going to tackle #2.

I frequetly find myself in stores looking at the little girl clothesthinking how cute they are and wishing they were my size. Thereis nothing sexual about it or a desire to be sexy. I think it has more to do with the late age I came into my CDing, and a longing for a missed girly childhood. But do to size issues and appropriatness I must just have to do with my adult disney pj,s.

[MJ]

well my question is why do CD . do it .. for me being a ts i got it all sorted out my means justify my ends " i am a woman feel like a woman there for dress like a woman and will get surgery to complete the job" but for a CD well you don't want surgery or hormones so why do you do it ? thats my question... and a good one too bet you can't answer that

[Sharon]

1- What's a lot? It is no more prevalent in the gay community than the straight, so I don't know why you think it's so common. Besides, gender and sexuality are two very distinct things.

2 - I don't understand this either, but as long as pedophilia isn't involved, I say "to each their own."

3 - I hardly ever do without some amount of make-up, but you have to understand that there are all different levels of crossdressing. Many crossdressers are interested in just one particular piece of clothing and don't care at all about anything else. There are also some that get more enjoyment from make-up than they do clothing. Everyone has their own place in the world and we're all different to some degree or another.

[rickie121x]

....short list of my favorite CD "mysteries"
..... I can address question 2:
2. CDing like "Little girls".?

To me, "little girls" are the ones under sixty .... And that is the target of my dressing and makeup process; to look under sixty. And if I work at it... for about two hours, I can make that happen. ...not so easy, as I am 72.

The deeper meaning is a lot more powerful, the sensual notions of feminity that I am able to allow to emerge, to emulate, to make my being lighter and more pleasurable. Ummmmmn, ummmm, ummm!

Rickie

[thea]

Interesting topic about the mysteries. What makes me wonder is the variety of crossdressing among CDs. There are those for whom CDing happens in phases or cycles and they're fine the rest of the time going without; there are the full-timers whether all the way or full-time underdressed and otherwise fully dressed when they have the opportunity; there are the catalogers who keep a complete count of each type of clothing they own, and the collectors who concentrate on a specific item as a fetish; for some, wearing the clothes is enough while others have to achieve the complete look; many prefer to remain behind closed doors while others want to be public; and of course some are in it for the psyche while others concentrate on the libido. And all of that just has to do with crossdressers regardless of sexual orientation, and doesn't include other TG people like transsexuals or performance female impersonators.

For the mysteries you brought up, Marina Twelve, I speculate like this. Gay "bottoms" might want to dress to more approximate the traditional female role, and of course while most CDers are heterosexual, there's a proportion of gays who are into it, too, as it's not directly related to sexual orientation. A lot of gays grew up being labeled effeminate and being called sissies, and in adulthood they get to spread those wings and claim their femininity.

"Little girls" and other "adult sissies" have chosen or are driven (likely some of each) to focus on a particular period of life, which could relate to a time of feeling secure or to attributing security to an age and style of dress, or it could be complex in other ways. To the best of my knowledge and relief, these "specialists" are into being childlike, not being predatory toward children.

Makeup's the easy one. Some are into dressing, not appearing. Others want to be as natural as they can be, and view makeup as masking, and won't wear wigs either. And plenty have restrictions of time or other circumstance that doesn't give them the leisure or opportunity to apply makeup.

[Jenna1561]

Well, I live in a small town and

1 - the only 3 gay people I know, do not CD.
2 - I don't know any CDers who like little girl clothes, though they are pretty and I wish that I had had a childhood where I could have been dressed in such finery.
3 - Some are not comfortable with makeup and would prefer none, or they are not ever leaving their homes and don't feel the need for makeup.

Now MJ,

I don't really know where I fall in the CD/TG/TS spectrum. I have always thought I should have been born a girl, have always felt uncomfortable being a boy in a boy's world. I prefer to dress as a woman. I feel more at ease in women's clothing and prefer to wear makeup all the time because it improves my look. Were it not for my wife and children, I am certain I would be on HRT and at least have an orchey (spelling?) done, maybe not SRS (expensive). So, I guess I am further down the road to TS than CD.


Jenna

[Kimkandy]

1. I don't think Gay guys are that much into CD'in, but I'm no expert here...

3. Women do not always wear a lot of makeup all the time. Especially when there just nipping out to do some shopping at the supermarket. If you can get away with it, I think you can often pass better using less makeup.

One CD mystery I find intriguing is that even though people may start trying on female clothes as young as 4 or 5 or in their teens. They often don't do much about it till much later. It seems much less common for CD's and Transsexuals to know what they want in their late teens or early twenties.

Kim

[Kathryn Philips]

1) The percentage of gay crossdressers is roughly equal to the percentage of gay men in the male population. Homosexual orientation and being "gender gifted" are unrelated phenomena. Most gay men discover their sexuality during their middle to late teens whereas judging from reading many CDs bios, most of "us" knew about our interest in girls clothes,etc. before we were 10. I am straight and have never had any doubt even though I have wanted to be a woman since I was 5. Only ignorant, homophobic beople believe in the equation crossdressing=gay.

2) The only time I wanted to dress as a little girl was when I was a child myself. As an adult I simply cannot answer this because I don't understand what motivates this type of CD to do so.

3) If I could wear make-up I would. I barely have a chance to put on a skirt ocasionaly because my wife rarely leaves our house for long enough. I think this is the case with lots of closeted CDs. Its not a matter of choice but of lack of opportunity.

[Kate Simmons]

Based on some of the comments I've seen, I'm wondering how many here have really taken the time to get to know many gay people, gay people that crossdress, "little girls" and guys who just want to wear dresses, etc. but no makeup? I have and I've pretty much seen it all. It comes as no surprise to those here who know me that I accept everyone for who they choose to be or how they choose to present themselves to their friends and to the world at large. Simply put, I've taken the time to widen out in my getting to know people and what I've found is that people are just people after all, despite what they appear to be to others. How could I feel they are any "weirder " than myself. That would kind of be like the "pot" calling the "kettle" black, no? Anyway, by taking the time to get to know them, I've "demystified" some of these CD mysteries for myself at least. Ericka

[Audrey34]

Hi Marina Twelve:
I'm no expert but here are some theories I have:
1. I've read many studies on crossdressing that show hetersexual males crossdress more so than gay males.
2. The "little girl" look has many fans. I even saw several japanese "cos-play" websites which featured many males dressing up in schoolgirl (sailorsuit) outfits. As long as real children aren't involved I don't see any harm. As for myself, I prefer to dress like a lady my own age.
3. I myself do not use make-up. It's kind of like the last frontier for me. I also know a lot of real women who also do not use make-up. Years ago I once dated a lady who literally could not tear herself away from her compact (she had to touch up this, powder that, etc). She wouldn't even let me kiss her because "no, you'll ruin my face!" Arrgh! Worst date I ever had.
-Audrey

[Nike]

well my question is why do CD . do it .. for me being a ts i got it all sorted out my means justify my ends " i am a woman feel like a woman there for dress like a woman and will get surgery to complete the job" but for a CD well you don't want surgery or hormones so why do you do it ? thats my question... and a good one too bet you can't answer that

Some are born decidedly masculine, regardless of birth sex. Others feminine. CD's fall somewhere between the "black" and the "white" extremes of the gender spectrum, into the "grey" area. Some of us tilt more one way or the other and others like myself fall right in the middle with an equal balance of masculine and feminine traits, expresson and/or needs.

Everyone recognizes the classic so-called Macho male and the ultra-fem woman at each end. TS's fall to the "almost all" to "all" feminine (MTF) or masculine (FTM) end. CD's through no choice of their own, walk with one foot firmly planted on the masculine side and the other planted as firmly in the feminine.

I personally consider myself blessed to experience the balance of the "center" of the gender spectrum. It affords all the colors known. I have lived a time where I did not allow for feminine expression in my life. I soon recognized the limitation a view from only one end of this spectrum imprisoned me in. It felt very dark and heavy. It was a place of isolation.

Today, I still enjoy the vast contrast of the black and white extremes, but am most at peace under the infinate rainbow in the center.

[Teresa Amina]

well my question is why do CD . do it .. for me being a ts i got it all sorted out my means justify my ends " i am a woman feel like a woman there for dress like a woman and will get surgery to complete the job" but for a CD well you don't want surgery or hormones so why do you do it ? thats my question... and a good one too bet you can't answer that

There was an old Phone Company advertisement that said "Next best thing to being there". I think that pretty well answers it

[MarinaTwelve200]

Hi Marina Twelve:
I'm no expert but here are some theories I have:
1. I've read many studies on crossdressing that show hetersexual males crossdress more so than gay males.
2. The "little girl" look has many fans. I even saw several japanese "cos-play" websites which featured many males dressing up in schoolgirl (sailorsuit) outfits. As long as real children aren't involved I don't see any harm. As for myself, I prefer to dress like a lady my own age.
3. I myself do not use make-up. It's kind of like the last frontier for me. I also know a lot of real women who also do not use make-up. Years ago I once dated a lady who literally could not tear herself away from her compact (she had to touch up this, powder that, etc). She wouldn't even let me kiss her because "no, you'll ruin my face!" Arrgh! Worst date I ever had.
-Audrey

YES. I realize CDing has nothing to do with sexuality---and ALSO I know that No more proportion of gays than hetros CD----I am just puzzled by WHY the PERCEPTION is that CDs APPEAR to CD more.

The little girl thing is just something I simply don't "get"----no criticisim here, but everything most of us CDers CD for just aint there with a little girl look. I would simply like to understand the WHY of it out of curiosity.

The no makeup thing I can almost grasp, but it don't work for me--I gotta have at least my Lipstick, or I aint CDin'. It seems to be a sort of variant where other parts of the body are focused on. I equate IDENTITY with the FACE---perhaps the no makeup crowd has a diferent approach to identity---they may already identify with women and dont need to change the face.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi

Marina, as for your puzzles, I can't help too much. I don't have stats on gays CDing and I have never really thought of it, I know some do the infant thing, but I've never thought about that either, and as for the makeup, I'd dress without makeup sometimes...don't know why, but maybe I just wanted to wear a skirt???

MJ...why do I crossdress. I have always thought that possibly before I was born something got f#*ked up in my brain, the wires got crossed and 2 plus 2 then equalled panties and bra.....Do I dress because its embarrassing?, demeaning?, a threat to my job?, a threat to my marriage?, to give me something to do when I'm on my own?, it drives me crazy (literally)?, to make me mentally unstable?,.....(insert anything else here)...,.

See, my crossdressing defies any logic, it's a ridiculous thing to do if you think sanely about it, yet I do it. Can't be solely about pleasurable feelings as I could do a million other things to replace this activity and not miss it...yeah pass the box of chocolates!!!!.

So maybe someone can tell me why I dress, because I sure as hell don't know why...

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: Here is my opinion concernign these mysteries. Gay men do not usually CD. Gay men R attracted to men, and most R attracted to manly men, not men dressed as women. Although at this time I will also say there R exceptions to everything in the universe I think.

There R all kinds of fetish dressers IE diapers, little girls, cheer leaders, french maids, nurses etc. Also rubber fetishes and leather. These R not necessarily crossdressers by definition.

Now there R various kinds of crossdressing, panties only for instance. Then there is underdressing [me] I wear lingerie everywhere almost everyday. I cannot pass so I don't try. I do not wear forms or wigs or makeup. Although I fill up a 42C and show some projection I wear a slip or cami over the bra to mute the outline (same reason women used to wear them) and I really don't show to much. I enjoy lipstick but in a natural tone so that it also doesn't show much. I am most content to be what I am but I cannot pass. I am a crossdresser and I am at peace with that aspect of me.

[linnea]

Hi Marina,
I can't help you with your myteries, either. I'm not into any of the things that you mentioned in your first three. I love make-up and think that it is a very important part of my dressing.
I'm not interested in the little girl look or little girl clothes, except on little girls. Then I think that they usually are cute, and apart from common civility, I don't care to have anything to do with them.
I'm not gay, and I don't know many gay guys. Those whom I do know are not CDs (as far as I'm aware).
I think that your questions are interesting. Maybe I can help you with some others. As for these, I have neither the experience nor the knowledge to provide anything enlightening.

[GG Vanya]

This is what is a mystery to me:

Here in the south we have a saying for someone who has it made/has life easy. "you've got a bird nest on the ground!"

It's a mystery to me why so many CDs who have accepting SOs promptly begin treating that bird nest on the ground like an outhouse.

[Sweet Jane]

This is what is a mystery to me:

Here in the south we have a saying for someone who has it made/has life easy. "you've got a bird nest on the ground!"

It's a mystery to me why so many CDs who have accepting SOs promptly begin treating that bird nest on the ground like an outhouse.

Touche......Yes! he says, a little respect and a lot of love. Less "I", more "We". When you are married it's "us", so yeah, I get a little angry when I see disrespect, marriage vows put on the back burner for some frilly underwear and lipstick, and married CDers elevating crossdressing to the most important aspect of ones life....Yes she says, Vanya I agree...

[JulieCDorlando]

Hello Marina,
i hope it isn't to late to add my 2 cents worth to your inquiry.

#1 Society equates CDing to a gay activity is due to what they see or understand by knowing about the drag shows which are popular at most gay bars. I been to a few gay bars and other functions while dressed and have observed very few gay men actually engaging in CDing. Also society feels that a CD is trying to attract a man for sexual gratification purposes.

#2 I am not fully sure why some CD's dress as "little girls". Perhaps it is for a fetish reasons. I do not know of any CD's that engage in this behavior, but I would like to understand why.

#3 CD's that do not use the make up, is for a variety of reasons as much as why a CD dresses. Mostly from restraints from SO's, or perhaps even from lack of technique or for other reasons. I certainly am not an expert at applying make up, but I do use the complete make up, mascara, eye shadow, eye liner, lipstick, blush, perfume when i ever go out fully dressed, as I feel make up completes the look.

[janet p]

This my thoughts 1. My god son who is gay told me one time grandma(my mother) pointed out to him a person who seemed to be crossdressing,he said he wasn't interested in that type of person. 2. Look at all the ruffles and lace that a little girl gets to wear.The pretty ribbons in the hair. 3.I won't go out with out make-up unless I'm just going to some place where they know me.I still not that good at putting my own make-up so I don't go out very often dressed'