are we filled with female horemones

[DeniseNJ]

I truely believe I should have been born a girl, even tho I don't act like a sissy or have that funny lisp when I talk in my normal life. I can remember from a young age ,very young like 5, that I had a need to be a girl. I really didn't want dolls for Christmas but I would always get into my aunt's lipstick and put it on. My mother didn't help much [Bless her soul} dressing me a raggedty ann and a witch at halloween a little lipstick here and there. She did loose a girl right before she had me. I know she wished I was a girl. I was going through some old pictures and found a picture of me with a doll brushing her hair , I looked like a little girl playing, I was about 8. My mother must have took that. As I grew older the stockings, nail polish yea my mother caught me a few times, I was a normal boy growing up or atleast that what I thought. never been attracted to boys either. In my teens I would dress with what little I could get my hands on, lived with my father who was a *******, but when I visited my mom I would sneek things. About 17 years old , I lived by my myself and loved to put on make-up , I was a popular guy with friends and I can't count the time I had to run for the bathroom to wipe it off cause my friends stopped by. In the late 80's I met this girl and she would let me dress and we would have fun. That was right after she suggested I be a girl for halloween, It was on,, what a night, Denise finally came out to the world and it felt soo good. I was the hit of the party little did people know I was in my glory and lov'in it. That same girl is my wife and she is very moody. we would get into fights and she would always threaten me that she was going to tell everyone about Denise , all my friends, my job, it scared me very much. I know neighbors knew because how loudly she would voice he opinions calling me a transvestite , queer .faggot . I tried to explain that I was born with extra female horemones and that inside I wished I was a girl. She thought that if I dressed as a girl that I wanted a man and that I was GAY. The older I got the braver. Yea I have these fantacys of being treated like a woman in all ways including sex, but again I don't get turned on by the male image . I can buy me anything , well almost anything. We were at Macys last night and in the little girls section buying a gift for her neice. Looking over the little dresses and skirts made me think back on how I would have loved to had been a 6 year old girl and dress in all this nice stuff. I found my self looking through the womans heels and wishing I had a few pair. Now she is in the womans department and she ask me if I wanted anything she would buy it. I know she ment go to the mens department and pick out something. wouldn't you know it ,I go to hosiery and pick out a pair of lace silk reflection thi highs and bring them back. she rolls her eyes and doesn't say a word , now I find myself looking over the womans clearance rack like a woman looking for a bargin.. Whats wrong with me??
I must look like a nut. but these urges inside me are so strong. How many of us wish we were born Female I know I surely do.. In closure I know I must maintain this secrect but I am getting very sloppy in hiding the fact that I like feminine things and I know people are wondering about me!!! The urge to dress with another like me excites me, for I never did that before. I want to go to a party with other CD's as Denise someday and I know it will happen WHEN that's the question...

[serinalynn]

Well, Denice, I had alot of those same feelings when I grew up. I have no sisters so I would wear moms things when she and dad went out on friday and saturday nights. I did this up to age 19 in 1968 and then didn't start dressing again until 1990. By then I was married and even though my wife know I CD she has begrudgingly accepted the fact that I do CD. She doesnt mind me wearing some womens things though she has never seen me in a skirt or a dress. I have worn pants suits, jeans and very feminine tops, she kinda rolls her eyes and looks the other way.

[Angela E.]

Don`t feel alone,I`ve also always wished that I was born a girl.My mother also encouraged my femininity.Ditto your feelings about men.As far as checking out the clearance racks looking for a bargain,I do it all the time.I`m sure there are lots of us here that will tell you the same thing.Theres nothing wrong with you,These are the things us girls do.Girl hugs Angela:be:

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry you had to go through the yelling as that pretty much sums up how it went for me to with my now Xwife. She was really mentally and physically abusing me, while a long saying I was abusing her with my dressing. I went through the same thing at the stores. She would tell me to pick something out Anything, then if I picked something for AMY I was dead meat. She would start in on me even in the stores, she wouldn't call me queer or anything like that in the stores, but she would very much show disaproval. When we were alone I would really get it, calling me every name in the book. Threating to leave me and I would have to pay child support and alimoney. Well, it worked out the other way around. I ended up with the kids and she is paying me Childsupport. Like you said she would yell at the top of her lungs Queer Faggot and all the other bad things. The nieghbors all heard it. She was out of control. It ended one day after she was beating on me and when the cops got there and found me bleeding, she went to jail. This was the last time we were together. She did tell my friends and co workers and even my employers. You know what they didn't believe her or just didn't care. As for wanting to do it more and more. Join the club. I really don't know why the drive is so strong, maybe stress related. The more stress the more we dress.

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"] It's only natural I am the same way go out often, don’t care if the neighbors see me, GF always telling me I want to be caught. After I told my GF the other foot came out of the closet, I have not told my family or work, but have grown my hair longer, highlighted it, pierced the ears, shave all body hair, wear women’s jeans 90 percent of the time. I don’t have a problem how I look and act and they should not have it either.

[/SIZE]

[Victoria Anne]

Denise I cant say I wanted to be a girl but I can tell you I love to emulate women and I do feel as it is me. Shopping... hey go crazy I love to look through the bargain racks and to just go shopping. There's nothing wrong with you or any of us its who we are.

[JulieCDorlando]

in answer to your question, No we are not filled with female hormones. Simply put because you and the rest of us go rumaging through womern clothing racks in stores does not have us female hormaones. Some of us do have an over whelming desire to dress, and shopping for clothing is just as over whelming for some.
From your discription in your post, It might be that your wife has reached her tolerance level of your CDing, with yelling, screamming and eye rolling. Alot of CD's push wives to that brink.You are fortunate to have her involved with you. However you should talk to her. It appears that you might be pushing her tolerance over the edge. Your CDing isnt all about just you. She also is involved with this with you. It is my understanding that you have a desire to go out public while dressed, wanting to meet other CD's, and play with toys. I am not sure if you have spoken to her about these, but I have seen, and heard of others that go outside of a marraige to experiment with all the afore mentioned. That inevitably led to distruction of their marrage. I do hope that you will not over step her tolerance of your CDing to experiment on a fantasy. Is it worth loosing everything you have worked hard for to go out in public against your wifes wishes? Is it worth you meeting another CD against those same wishes? Please be careful. In any decision you make you should have your wife at the very fore front of your mind.
Please talk things over with your wife first. Find out where her boundaries and tolerances are at. Please adhere to anything she accepts for her tolerance. As much as you want to live out your dreams/fantasies, you have to not allow those things to get you out of control. Be reasonable.
You might have bisexual fantasies by you indicating that you use toys. true you admit that you dont see the male form as a turn on, but you also indicated you have a desire to partake the female role in a sexual encounter.You have an understanding wife. Would she help you in that? Most women do not find that appealing, but some will oblige their husbands. Do not go outside the sanctity of your marriage just for a dream, desire etc.
I speak from my own experience. I was married for 17 years, I allowed my CDing to run rampant. Although I did not go outside of my marriage for anything, my complusive shopping and dressing desires got way out of hand. I have learned from my past mistakes and have curtailed on both aspects significantly. There are very few GG's that are willing to accept men who do CD. I beg of you that you stay within the boundaries, and levels of your wifes acceptance.
Something else to consider, if you strongly feel you were meant to be a woman, please go to a therapist that deals with gender disorders. He/she will assist you in clarifying anything that you are having a conflict with. I wish you and your wife all the best.

[MJ]

well you dont have female hormones but.. it is how you feel about your self that matters.. just enjoy your cding ... the problem is how far do you want to take it...
hugs

[DeniseNJ]

Nice points everyone and JULIE thanks for looking out for me. No I am not in self destruct mode , just shareing my feelings. Like now I want to go out a but a new pair of heels tonight . shave my legs all the way and slip on the new thi high my wife bought me. she will go to sleep around 7pm and I can be Denise. I don't want to cram my cding in her face nor do I want to express my fantascy's about what I want to do when dressed. I know that would be like blowing myself up. Like they say you only go around once in life .. How many times can one miss the brass ring. My wife knew I went out for a ride as Denise the other night, and wanted me to get her a custard.. Maybe deep down she thought that I would get so embarrassed that I might give it all up. One other thing I forgot to mention , her 23yr old son moved out about 3 weeks ago and for me that was my ticket to express my feminimity more around the house. it is so hard for us to feel like ourselves and this board is so comforting..

[Calliope]

According to Louann Brizendine MD (The Female Brain), '[m]en have on average ten to a hundred times more testosterone than women' - which means there's a big spread of testosterone among men. And women, too.

[DeniseNJ]

I only have 2 times more than a woman. it must be low

[Kate Simmons]

Well we're filled with something, Denise. Don't know if it's female hormones though. Something gives us the energy and the drive to become essentially two people. My Grandmother would have called it "gumption". Can't say as I can argue with that logic too much. Ericka

[Lanore]

The older I get the more I love who I am. I must have been born a little more female than male. If the hormones are a little out of balance, great.

Lanore

[Charolette time]

I truely believe I should have been born a girl, even tho I don't act like a sissy or have that funny lisp when I talk in my normal life. I can remember from a young age ,very young like 5, that I had a need to be a girl. I really didn't want dolls for Christmas but I would always get into my aunt's lipstick and put it on. My mother didn't help much [Bless her soul} dressing me a raggedty ann and a witch at halloween a little lipstick here and there. She did loose a girl right before she had me. I know she wished I was a girl. I was going through some old pictures and found a picture of me with a doll brushing her hair , I looked like a little girl playing, I was about 8. My mother must have took that. As I grew older the stockings, nail polish yea my mother caught me a few times, I was a normal boy growing up or atleast that what I thought. never been attracted to boys either. In my teens I would dress with what little I could get my hands on, lived with my father who was a *******, but when I visited my mom I would sneek things. About 17 years old , I lived by my myself and loved to put on make-up , I was a popular guy with friends and I can't count the time I had to run for the bathroom to wipe it off cause my friends stopped by. In the late 80's I met this girl and she would let me dress and we would have fun. That was right after she suggested I be a girl for halloween, It was on,, what a night, Denise finally came out to the world and it felt soo good. I was the hit of the party little did people know I was in my glory and lov'in it. That same girl is my wife and she is very moody. we would get into fights and she would always threaten me that she was going to tell everyone about Denise , all my friends, my job, it scared me very much. I know neighbors knew because how loudly she would voice he opinions calling me a transvestite , queer .faggot . I tried to explain that I was born with extra female horemones and that inside I wished I was a girl. She thought that if I dressed as a girl that I wanted a man and that I was GAY. The older I got the braver. Yea I have these fantacys of being treated like a woman in all ways including sex, but again I don't get turned on by the male image . I can buy me anything , well almost anything. We were at Macys last night and in the little girls section buying a gift for her neice. Looking over the little dresses and skirts made me think back on how I would have loved to had been a 6 year old girl and dress in all this nice stuff. I found my self looking through the womans heels and wishing I had a few pair. Now she is in the womans department and she ask me if I wanted anything she would buy it. I know she ment go to the mens department and pick out something. wouldn't you know it ,I go to hosiery and pick out a pair of lace silk reflection thi highs and bring them back. she rolls her eyes and doesn't say a word , now I find myself looking over the womans clearance rack like a woman looking for a bargin.. Whats wrong with me??
I must look like a nut. but these urges inside me are so strong. How many of us wish we were born Female I know I surely do.. In closure I know I must maintain this secrect but I am getting very sloppy in hiding the fact that I like feminine things and I know people are wondering about me!!! The urge to dress with another like me excites me, for I never did that before. I want to go to a party with other CD's as Denise someday and I know it will happen WHEN that's the question...

Female hormones are in all of us, I know that I have more in me than a normal male, I was treated for breast cancer last year and one of the tests is for hormones and my count is very high, I have alot of female traits;; ie my hands are small and my feet I only wear a mans size 8 1/2 but stand over 6 -2 1/2, I have rather large breasts and when young would wear a t shirt when swimming,Once I found a girls swim suit hanging on the cloths line, no one was around so I tried it on and in an instant I was transformed in to Charolett, and still have the suit up in the attick and that was almost 50 yrs ago, So I guess what Im tring to say is we all have female hormones some more than others Charolette